Chapter 36
Revna
“I still think this is a stupid idea.”
Astrid’s dagger-eyed glare was turned on S?ren while she signed, and I rubbed my temples. Over the last few weeks, I’d grown to care immensely for Astrid. Her unwavering loyalty, her steady friendship. Her willingness to see past my wrongs to protect our friends.
But she wasn’t afraid to be honest. And right now, I was already at my wits’ end. I twisted my fingers over and over each other while I paced, and S?ren ran his hands through his hair. A gesture I knew meant his nerves were as frayed as mine.
Because the next few minutes could determine whether we won the battle and saved our friends…or died without the chance to even try.
“Mira will show. And she’ll be alone.” S?ren’s sharp signs communicated just how frustrated he was with Astrid, and I was reminded of the night not too long ago that I’d found them glaring at each other outside my bedroom door.
I glanced at the sun, steadily rising in the sky.
We’d told Mira to meet us before midday, but time was running out.
“Even if she doesn’t accept our invitation to meet, she could simply decide not to show at all,” I reminded Astrid.
“There’s no guarantee she’ll betray us. You should hope she doesn’t—without Mira, we have to scrap our entire plan. ”
Astrid glowered, crossing her arms. I continued my pacing, surprised to find myself reaching automatically for my Lurae. It was strange to have it gone. Almost as strange as discovering it was there in the first place.
I flexed my fingers. All my life, people had made assumptions about me based on my abilities.
When I was Nilurae, my family assumed I was useless.
The other Nilurae assumed I was their champion.
Then, when I’d discovered my own magic, some of those I’d trusted assumed I was lying the entire time. Others grew wary of me.
Instinctually, I knew that the lines between Lurae and Nilurae would have to fade if we were to win the coming conflict. Our only hope was to put aside those biases and accept each other as allies to fight a common enemy.
Footsteps sounded. S?ren rose, hand on the hilt of his sword. Astrid followed our gazes, her own knives at the ready. I unsheathed Aloisa.
Mira stepped into the small clearing, emerging from the trees in a cloak so dark green she might have been one of them. S?ren relaxed entirely; I relaxed slightly; Astrid didn’t relax at all.
The teleporter pulled her hood down and studied us coolly. She held up a piece of paper between two fingers. “Got your message.”
I sheathed Aloisa and began to sign, interpreting Mira’s words for Astrid. When S?ren replied to her, he signed while he spoke. “And? Will you join us?”
There was silence for several moments, the only sound the breeze through the leaves and the birds chirping. Finally, Mira sighed. “What kind of question is that? Of course I will, you idiot.”
S?ren’s face broke into a grin, and he pulled Mira into a crushing hug. She grumbled through the entire thing, but I watched how tightly she clung to him and knew she was glad.
Eventually, she pushed away. “Let go, S?ren. What are you all planning? The queen—or Callum, I guess—is waiting for the Kryllian army to meet them, and then they’re planning to march on Faste.”
Dread sank like a stone in my gut. Hearing the words aloud was different from discussing them when they weren’t a sure fact. “You’re positive?” I asked. “We haven’t seen the army moving through the village.”
Mira shook her head. For the first time, she didn’t appear angry to see me. “Callum sent word that they were to use a different port for the journey. Even merchant ships are being ordered to dump their goods and become passenger vessels for the soldiers.”
“I’m sure they’re thrilled about that,” Astrid signed, rolling her eyes.
“They’re sacrificing their people’s approval to get the army there fast,” I mused. “We can fill you in on the plans when we’re back at camp, Mira. We should go now to see what kind of success Valen and Sonja have had.”
S?ren nodded. “Let’s go.”
When we arrived at the Seeing Ones’ camp, most people were gathered around the fire, eating a midday meal. I scanned the crowd, looking for Sonja or Valen. They hadn’t returned yet, so S?ren, Mira, and I settled in to grab our own servings of stew.
Mira and S?ren chatted for a while, catching up while I listened in. I lost myself in thoughts of the plans we had in place for that night—plans that could easily go wrong.
Most of my stew went uneaten, my stomach clenching.
After a while, Mira turned to me. “Your scars. Do they still itch?”
My fingertips flew to my face automatically, rubbing against the bottom edge of the healed tissue. This felt like an odd topic of conversation. “Yes.”
“Well, if we make it out of this alive, there’s an apothecary in this village that makes an incredible cream to help.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes, and my own gaze was drawn to the scar stretching down her cheek and over her neck. I wondered how she’d gotten it.
“Thank you.” I would take her up on the suggestion, too. Once the battle for our freedom was over.
Mira nodded and went back to her meal. I studied her for a few moments longer. Not long ago, she’d left me in the snow to die. Even I’d been doubtful when S?ren insisted we reach out to her about joining our cause. But it seemed her true loyalty lay with S?ren, and no one else.
It was kind of sweet.
“We’re back!” Valen’s voice echoed through the circle of tents, and all eyes turned to them. Sonja accompanied them—and so did a group of thirty Kryllian citizens brandishing swords, knives from their kitchens, and even pitchforks.
For the first time all day, my anxiety eased into something a little like hope.
The Kryllians meandered, merging slowly with the Seeing Ones. I approached Valen and Sonja. “You did it. What did you tell them?”
Sonja shrugged. “That there was an opportunity to take out the Queen of Kryllian and fight for something better for everyone.” Then, she sighed.
“Truthfully, it isn’t that many people. We spoke to everyone we could in the neighboring villages, but these are the only ones who were willing to join our cause. ”
“And they were only willing because we told them the enticing truth,” Valen said, wiggling their eyebrows.
“I’m almost afraid to ask.”
Sonja rolled her eyes. “Valen told them all that the Queen of Bhorglid and the Hellbringer have teamed up to take down the Kryllian Queen. It was enough to turn heads, that’s for sure.”
Valen grinned. I smiled too, hoping they couldn’t see the falseness behind it. I was grateful my and S?ren’s identities were helpful in recruiting allies. But it also meant word of our location was likely back in Arraya’s hands now.
After our move to strike at her tonight, there would be no going back.
After lunch, I pulled S?ren back to our room at the inn with the excuse that I wanted to rest before we left this evening. But truthfully, I just wanted to hold him close. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I didn’t care.
S?ren didn’t say anything about it, but I got the sense he understood exactly where my mind had gone.
He wrapped me in his arms, and for a long while, I relished his embrace.
My thoughts spun incessantly. Would we all make it back?
Would we manage to find the sword? Would my friends be rescued, or would our plans be thwarted before we even began?
“What are you thinking?” S?ren asked, kissing my temple.
I pulled back, turned to look at him. My hand drifted to his face, tracing the hint of stubble over his perfect jaw. I wanted to smooth the furrow between his brows, but not if it would make him stop looking at me like this—like I was his dawn and dusk, his death and resurrection.
“I know we have to do this,” I whispered. “But why do I feel like this is the end?”
S?ren’s fingers clasped mine, moving my hand from his cheek until it hovered over his mouth. He pressed a kiss to my palm. “I don’t know if it’s the end. I only know we have to fight. If we ran away from what’s ahead…we’d be giving up part of ourselves in the process.”
A small voice, one that sounded suspiciously like my Lurae’s, refused to be silenced. You can hope, it chided. But hoping does not change what will come to pass.
For a split second, I contemplated repeating those words aloud. Voicing all my fears to S?ren, insisting that I didn’t want his reassurances and solutions, only for him to listen.
But I couldn’t bring myself to say them all. Not when he was here and I’d already lost him once before—at the dawn of a battle that felt much like this one.
So instead, I tucked my fear away and demanded. “Kiss me, Hellbringer.”
The words alone tore a groan from his throat, like he’d been waiting on tenterhooks for me to say them. S?ren didn’t oblige me immediately. His own hands came to my face this time, cradling me gently. When his thumb pressed against my lower lip, I obeyed his silent command, taking it into my mouth.
“Fuck.” His breathing was already heavy.
If my mouth wasn’t occupied, I would have told him I loved it when he swore because of me.
A heady confirmation I had undone him. “I’ve spent years wishing I could leave the Hellbringer behind.
And the moment you call me that name, you know what I find myself thinking?
That I would be him forever if it meant you kept looking at me like this. ”
Then he brought his lips to mine.
It was the same as always, and yet different. More. Our kisses the day before had held an unspoken promise—so did these. Then, it had been I love you, I love you, I love you.
And this time, every tug of my teeth against his bottom lip, every caress of my tongue over him devoured. Said If we are one, then you cannot leave me.
His fingers buried in my hair, I pushed on his chest until he lay back, pulling me with him until I was flush atop him. If S?ren had told me my rib cage suddenly cracked open, I would have believed it. The yawning cavern there could be filled by only him, after all.
He wasn’t wearing a shirt. The expanse of his skin called to me, and my mouth made quick work of exploring the slope of his throat. He let out a shuddering breath, and that hushed sound drowned out the rest.
Impatient, he pushed my own shirt up. I pulled back to take it off, my breastband quickly following. His palms snaked up to my shoulder blades.
When S?ren buried his face in my breasts, pressing kisses to every inch of skin he could find, a breathless, needy sound escaped. He hummed with satisfaction. His lips met mine again, and we melded together, skin against skin as the rest of the world fell away.
S?ren tugged lightly on my hair to get my attention, and I pulled away, gasping. “I need to be inside you,” he said. “Please, Princess.”
The words sent a rush of warmth through me. I stripped my own pants and underwear off, then pushed his hands away from his own clothing. “Let me.”
Finally we were both naked. I lifted up on my knees and straddled him. Gently, I took his hand and guided it between my own legs. “You’ve barely even touched me, and yet—”
Searching fingertips silenced me, sliding through until they found my center, tracing gently around my opening. I watched S?ren’s eyes turn feral. “You’re soaked, pretty thing. All for me?”
I nodded, unable to form words. I knew the heat of my cheeks likely said enough, though.
His other hand found one nipple and rolled it between two fingers.
The one pressed slightly inside me felt the responding clench of my body, and he shivered.
“Can I fill you up here? Would that make you feel good?”
Gods, when had this gotten away from me? I’d wanted to savor this, make it last. Instead, my desperation made it all feel faster than it was. I readjusted my position, gripping the base of him and pulling myself down over him.
From there it was quick. Murmurs of praise and encouragement, panting gasps, gentle fingers. We barely lasted five minutes before we came one after the other.
I lay atop him, resting my head on his chest. His hand went to my hair, brushing through it automatically.
The sheen of sweat covering both of us shimmered in the late-afternoon sunlight streaming in through the windows.
The sound of S?ren’s steady heartbeat mingled with the waking crickets coming to life as the evening began outside.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you, too,” he said. “I won’t let them take you from me.”
The euphoria wore off quickly, the pit in my stomach yawning ever wider. I tried to force it aside. “Two Nilurae against a powerful resurrected god. This will definitely go well.”
Hands clasped my waist, and he rolled until we were on our sides facing each other. Underneath the seriousness on his face, there was a glimmer of mischief. “Why, Princess,” he said, brushing our noses together, “did you think my Lurae was my only skill?”
I laughed, the words from the first time I’d truly tried to kill him so emblazoned in my mind that I couldn’t not recognize them. Out of all the talk and reassurances, somehow this was the only true thing to alleviate my anxiety.
I memorized the shape of his smile again. “I’d never be that foolish.”
“Good. It’s time. We need to get ready.”
S?ren’s breathing matched mine, and I wanted to hold him back, insist we stay. The what-ifs clamored in my head. But I kept them inside and instead said, “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go kill a god.”