Chapter 40
Revna
I went through the motions of preparing for war with stiff rigidness, both from my sore muscles and from the horror still haunting me again and again.
Callum stealing my blade to kill S?ren with it.
S?ren’s body being lifted and taken away by people I didn’t know—maybe Seeing Ones, maybe Kryllian citizens, maybe Nilurae from Bhorglid who had managed to escape the prison with Sonja and Mira.
Sonja had handed me a change of clothes to replace my blood-soaked ones. I was loath to put them on, to shed any reminder of S?ren. He is gone, he is gone, he is gone. The knowledge pounded through me like a second heartbeat.
But I forced myself to swallow it down. You must avenge him, I reminded myself. And the best way to avenge him is to do one small thing at a time. Starting by changing into clean clothes.
Sonja accompanied me to a river nearby. She sat on a rock at the shoreline, silent while I stripped and waded in to wash the death from my skin.
I submerged my clothes, let the last remainders of S?ren’s life wash away.
Every movement I made was slow, lethargy eating away at my will with every second.
If I’d been any less disciplined, I would have sunk beneath the current and allowed the water to carry me away.
I barely noticed Sonja’s presence, but the part of me aware of her chafed against it. Was she here only to keep me from doing something rash to myself? Succumbing to my grief?
Alone is how you’re meant to be, my thoughts whispered. All mine now. I couldn’t blame these on my nonexistent Lurae. You deserve this.
“I should have come back for him.”
I was pulled from my haze by Sonja’s words, quiet as they were above the river’s gentle current. I raised a brow at her, but she didn’t seem to see me, staring off into the distance past me at nothing.
Was this her attempt to ask me to assuage her grief? I cleared my throat as it tightened. “I told you not to come with us. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”
She blinked back to awareness, her eyes the exact same color as S?ren’s. They really did look like siblings. The same face structure, same smirk, same commanding presence. “No. I mean I should have come back for him years ago. Gotten him out from the queen’s clutches and taken him to safety.”
I swallowed. I didn’t want to tell her I thought she was right.
“I didn’t know the queen was using me as leverage for a long time,” she said, picking at her nails.
I scrubbed my skin while she talked, unwilling to look her in the eyes.
“When I finally realized there was a spy in the caravan, and that they’d been sent to watch me specifically, I tried going back for him. ”
“You did?” I frowned. “What happened?”
“Bad timing.” Her smile was bitter. “I’d heard tales of the Hellbringer’s brutality, knew that only my brother could be behind that mask, considering the general’s Lurae.
But I thought they were exaggerating. I tracked him down in the wastes, surprisingly enough.
I waited for him to leave camp on a mission and trailed him, trying to get him alone.
Before I could, he arrived at his destination: a traveling platoon of Bhorglid’s soldiers. ”
I wondered how long ago this had been.
“He killed them all.” Sonja swallowed. “There were over a hundred men, and he wiped them out in less than a minute. I was horrified. I thought my brother had been lost to the violence, the power the queen offered. I didn’t know he was only doing it to try and keep me safe.”
“You left,” I finished. “You didn’t even speak to him.”
“No,” she confirmed. “It’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. I’ll spend every moment of the rest of my life regretting it.”
I wanted to scream at her. You should. You deserve it, after abandoning him.
But instead, I thought of my own regrets.
I wished so badly for another minute with Frode.
Wished I could undo Halvar’s death, be just a little less angry when I stopped by the tavern on the way to the coronation.
I regretted killing the assassin who came after me when I first brought the army home—if I’d spared him, we might have known about the threat from the queen long before now and been able to prevent it.
My own mistakes often threatened to drown me.
And S?ren? He had never judged me for them.
Had defended me fiercely despite them all.
So I swallowed down my anger and my tears and told Sonja the truth.
“He loved you more than you can possibly know. And while you can’t change the past, now you know how to be better in the future. ”
Her eyes welled and she nodded. “Do you…want any help with your hair?”
I reached up to the braid hanging down my back. It was matted, tangled, full of dried blood and dirt. “That would be nice, if you’re up for it.”
I knew what it meant to have brothers. But as she carefully took down my hair, untangled it with her fingers, and washed it clean, I wondered if this was what it meant to have a sister.
Finally, I forced myself to dress in the dry clothes and return to the small valley where we’d made camp.
Freja had explained that we were a few miles away from the prison, past the extent of where she believed the search parties for the prisoners would go.
There were so many escapees that she doubted Callum and Arraya would spend the necessary resources to track them all down.
I’d half listened, trying not to succumb to the pain in my chest.
Now Volkan and Jac, both somber, stepped up to me. They had dark circles beneath their eyes, and Volkan bore a bruise across one cheekbone. Vaguely, I realized it hadn’t healed—which meant his Lurae was gone.
We stood still for a moment, and I wondered what I should say. What could possibly be enough to express my sorrow for what they’d been through? Nothing would be adequate.
And they wouldn’t forgive me anyway. I didn’t deserve their forgiveness. I deserved what I had gotten. A lifetime of aching, bitter loneliness.
I stepped back, preparing to go. Jac grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into a tight embrace.
“I’m so sorry, Rev,” he whispered.
My arms hung at my sides and I breathed slowly. My chest tightened, my eyes watered. You can’t cry. You can’t break down until you’ve avenged him.
I untangled myself from his arms. “Thank you, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
Jac wiped a stray tear from his cheek. I remembered the last time I’d seen him cry—the night before the Trials, when he’d confessed to me that he didn’t want to die. My facade trembled, the crack shooting through my porcelain mask threatening to shatter it. But I held firm.
Volkan’s face was dry, but I knew he wore a similar shell over his emotions. There were things to do, battles to wage, a war to win. No time for grief. He looked more serious than I’d ever seen him before.
I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry, too. For all of it. Jac, you deserved better than becoming part of a lie so massive. You too, Volkan. There’s nothing I can do to truly ever make it up to you.”
“You’re right,” Jac said. I winced but kept my feet planted. “But you’re also my sister. And I hope you know I would do anything for you. Even now.”
Volkan put a hand on Jac’s shoulder. “We both lost our Lurae to Callum, while we were imprisoned. Maybe your actions were responsible for some of what happened. But please don’t forget that every single person involved in this made their own choices.
Including me and Jac, when we agreed to help you hide what happened to Halvar. ”
Tears welled, threatening to overflow. I forced them back. I cleared my throat before I said, “Thank you. Do you know what the plan is?”
Jac gestured to the steadily growing camp behind us.
The Seeing Ones had been teleported here from Kryllian and were now setting up their tents.
My brother explained, “Freja is bringing anyone she can find here. Astrid and Mira are taking shifts sleeping. Whoever is awake teleports Freja into the city. She speaks with as many people as she can, convinces them to fight, and then brings them—and weapons—back here.”
Sure enough, when I scanned the expanse, I saw Freja and Astrid reappear. There were two Nilurae from Bhorglid with them, faces I recognized from the Sharpened Axe but whose names I did not know. I frowned when I noticed who accompanied them. “Children?”
“They’re trying to evacuate the children before we attack,” Volkan said.
“The Kryllian army will arrive in the capital city tomorrow evening, so the plan is to attack before then. If we can kill Callum before the troops get here, then we might be able to destabilize their forces enough to actually win this battle.”
“You really think making a stand is a good idea?” Jac frowned, looking to Volkan. “Very few of us are Lurae at this point. Do we really stand a chance?”
The campsite was busy, full of life around us.
Freja herded children into the tents, Valen was teaching the basics of combat to some of the Nilurae from Bhorglid and Kryllian, and Sonja was taking stock of what weapons we possessed.
I even spotted Arne. He had gathered a small group of Nilurae in fighting condition and was teaching them how to hold a shield.
We made brief eye contact before he turned his focus back to instructing.
They were all fighting for my same cause. But this battle had become far more personal to me, and I didn’t care about anything except watching Callum suffer.
“This is our only chance,” I said to Jac. “The Lurae in Bhorglid might worship Callum, but they also live in fear of him. They’d be helpless without their magic. Callum preaches their superiority but threatens to take it away at any moment. And fear is exploitable.”
“Callum has to die,” Volkan said. He stared at a point past me, his eyes unfocused. I wondered what he felt about S?ren’s death. The two had been lovers once, and their friendship had endured past whatever parting of ways ended their romance.
“I will kill him.” There was no question in my mind, no if. “Besides, he isn’t expecting capable Nilurae. We were close last time, but…”
The mood darkened. None of us wanted to acknowledge where the last attempt had gotten us.
I continued watching Freja, mesmerized. My friend had taken well to leadership, organizing our forces and heading out into the city when she could. More surprisingly, it seemed everyone in camp looked to her for answers and approval.
Volkan caught my line of sight. “She took charge when we were all imprisoned,” he said softly. “If you all hadn’t showed, we were planning to break out, actually. Everyone rallied around Freja. She has a fire in her that gives people hope.”
“She does,” I agreed. And perhaps I was in the wrong for never seeing it. We’d all changed—I had become queen and then realized I didn’t want it. Freja had become a prisoner again and stepped into leadership as easily as breathing.
Freja called our names and beckoned us over. She and Astrid stood around a map of the city drawn by hand. “What’s this?” I asked.
Sonja joined us, peering over my shoulder.
“We’re putting together a plan of attack.
The biggest issue we’re facing is how to lure the queen out of Bhorglid’s castle.
No one has seen her leave—we think there’s a teleporter helping her.
She goes directly from the castle to the prison, and even then she’s only been to the prison one time. ”
“To take our Lurae,” Jac added bitterly.
Freja raised a brow at me. “So? How do we lure the queen from the castle?”
“Why are you asking me?” I scoffed. “Not even the explosions we planted during the prison break were enough to bring her out. We’d have to blow up the entire castle to force her to evacuate.”
Everyone was quiet.
“No,” I said, shaking my head vehemently. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Why not?” Jac asked. “Our grandfather modeled it after the palace in Kryllian. It represents a legacy of corruption and stolen power—oppression, even. And when all is said and done, Bhorglid will have the chance to truly rebuild into something new. Something ours.”
“He’s right,” Astrid chimed in. “The explosions from the breakout were passable, a good enough distraction to draw the priests’ eyes. But with Freja’s knowledge of explosives, we have the chance to do something big. Something that might truly change the tide.”
“It might keep more citizens safe as well,” Volkan pointed out. “If we begin by bringing the castle down, the queen will emerge and the priests will flock up the mountain. Most of the battle can take place there. It will keep innocents from getting caught in the fighting.”
“Then we do it,” Freja said, stepping back. She signed in perfect time with her words but didn’t bother speaking aloud when she addressed Astrid. “I have explosives stored in the cellar of the Sharpened Axe. Do you have enough energy that you could take me there?”
Astrid nodded, but I noticed her shoulder slump slightly. “It’s Mira’s turn to sleep anyway.”
“And then,” I added, signing while I spoke, “Astrid needs to sleep. Our entire plan hinges on her and Mira being able to teleport us all back to the city in the morning. If they aren’t rested, we’ll set ourselves up for failure before we even begin.”
“You’re not here to give orders, Revna,” Freja snapped. “You’re a soldier now, not a queen.”
I didn’t have the energy to fight with her, so I allowed the aching severity of her words to sink into my bones.
Freja may have offered me revenge, asked for me to join her fight.
But it wasn’t from any remaining crumbs of friendship.
Hers was a request of necessity—she knew I would not give Callum’s death to anyone else, so she had bargained for it on her terms instead of my whims.
Astrid laid a hand on Freja’s arm, her eyes wide with admonishment. “Revna is welcome here,” she signed. “This is what Callum and Arraya want. For us all to squabble so much that we lose sight of our common enemy. There will be plenty of time for you to hate each other later.”
I fought the sudden urge to laugh. Did no one realize that I harbored no ill will toward Freja? I knew perfectly well who was at fault for the ruins of our friendship. She held no blame here. “What else is left to plan?” I asked, trying to change the topic.
Freja folded her arms, lips pursed. “Everything. I hope you’re all ready to fight tomorrow.”