Chapter Fourteen
Neil had never been good with words to truly express his feelings.
Maybe it was a man thing. Maybe it was just him being too stubborn.
But whatever it was, Neil was aware of his behavior when things escalated, when he overreacted and treated those around him badly.
He knew when he had been wrong, but he could only admit that to himself.
Opening up to someone on the outside made him vulnerable and prone to getting hurt. He had learned that the hard way.
When his fingers touched Poppy’s dainty hand, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say or do. He just knew that he didn’t want her to leave. She had been so sweet, bringing him this food, and he got the impression that she wanted to cheer him up.
When she didn’t pull away, his fingers took her hand fully.
It was soft and supple, and she inhaled softly at his touch.
He put the book aside and grabbed her hand with both of his, staring down at their intertwined fingers, struggling to find the words.
She didn’t speak. She didn’t push. She just sat there, waiting. Neil appreciated that very much.
“I want to apologize,” he said. His voice failed him, and he had to clear his throat. “I’m sorry,” he tried again. When he finally looked up and into her eyes, he could see the softness in them.
“I know that I have a temper,” he continued. Poppy snorted a laugh.
“You don’t say,” she said, but the corners of her mouth lifted slightly. It was encouraging, and Neil nodded slowly with a small sigh.
“That’s why I am apologizing,” he said. Even though he knew exactly what he wanted to say in his mind, forming the words with his mouth seemed to be difficult. How should he begin to explain it all?
“There are things about me you don’t know, so I shouldn’t take it out on you if you don’t know my past,” he said. Poppy put her other hand over his two and scooted a little closer to him. It took him completely by surprise.
“Then tell me so I can understand,” she offered gently.
She seemed so different tonight. She was so open and receptive, understanding even.
His brain told him that this was a good sign, and his heart started beating a little faster.
He felt encouraged, and when he looked at her beautiful face, suddenly the words seemed to come a little easier.
“Well, one thing you need to know about Finn is that he’s not a good man,” he explained.
“He and I have been archnemesis for years because I’m his biggest rival in the business of breeding horses.
He’s also a land baron, owning vast plots of land, and he’s always had his eyes on my property.
He keeps pestering me to sell it to him. ”
“That’s understandable. It’s a beautiful piece of land,” Poppy added.
Neil could see that she was sincere, which made him smile. He couldn’t help but feel proud of his home and all he had achieved. The fact that his new wife liked it too made him very happy indeed.
“So you like it here?” he asked tentatively. Poppy nodded and smiled brightly at him.
“I do,” she said. “Very much. I can’t wait to see it in summer.”
“Then I’ll definitely not sell it to Finn!” Neil responded, smiling right back at her. “He shall not have it if you like it that much.”
She seemed to get a little shy after that and broke their eye contact.
He couldn’t deny that this moment was a little awkward for him, too, so they sat there for a minute in silence, although they were still holding hands, and Poppy made no attempt to release it.
He also noticed her little smile, which was still there.
“Why are you two fighting?” she asked then, looking back up at him. Her dark eyes had a warm glow to them, which touched Neil in a way he hadn’t felt before. He inhaled deeply before he spoke.
“We have history,” he simply said, scooting around ever so slightly. The earthy and sweet scent of the hay he was sitting on wafted into the air—a mixture of dry grasses and alfalfa, a favorite of most horses.
“What kind of history?” Poppy asked curiously, but he just shook his head. He didn’t want to go there. Not right now. Not yet. This moment seemed too precious to ruin it with that.
“It’s complicated,” he said evasively. “But seeing you talk to him today brought back a lot of really bad memories. I know that I overreacted, and I’m truly sorry for that, but all I want is to protect you. You and Sophie. You don’t know him as well as I do, and that man is not to be trusted.”
Poppy listened, and he could see in her face that she tried to process it.
“I’m sorry that I blurted everything out the way I did,” she said then. “I should have left it to you to explain it all. They’re your horses, after all.” Neil shook his head.
“Not entirely true,” he said. “First of all, I really did appreciate you stepping up for me and defending me the way you did. That was very impressive, actually. And secondly, you’re my wife now, so... what’s mine is yours and vice versa.” Poppy’s eyebrows shot up. She seemed shocked.
“But I don’t have anything to give you,” she admitted quietly, again breaking eye contact. She looked slightly embarrassed. Neil shook his head and squeezed her hand reassuringly.
“You give a lot,” Neil told her. Her gaze shot up, and he made it a point of looking directly into her eyes.
“How? And what?” she asked, shrugging.
“You do much more than what I asked of you when we first met,” Neil supplied. “I apologize for that, too. Cooking for all these men is no easy feat, and you’ve taken on that role like a soldier. They all love your cooking, by the way.”
“I should thank Maeve for her detailed recipes,” she said with a beaming smile. “They made it all possible.” Then she looked down at the food she had brought him.
“They do, but you don’t?” she asked shyly. Neil wasn’t entirely sure, but he got the impression that she was teasing him. He pulled one hand away, found the piece of pie, and bit a large chunk off it, which made Poppy burst out giggling.
“I whove it!” he exclaimed with a full mouth.
He had no idea what kind it was, but it tasted deliciously sweet and nutty, and his growling stomach reminded him to keep eating.
Poppy smiled brightly, and while she waited, she grabbed the book he had been reading to Storm.
It was a very old and well-used copy of Don Quixote, a cherished gift from his late father.
“So do you read to your horses often?” she asked a second time.
“Is that the secret to your success?” When she looked up, her eyes sparkled, and he could clearly see the mischief in them.
The corners of her full lips curved up, and he noticed the tiniest dimples in her cheeks.
How had he never noticed them before? Her smile was stunning, and it suddenly hit him.
He had married this woman. She was his wife.
Something inside of him cracked, and he had to swallow around the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat.
Somehow, she became even more beautiful to him in that moment, which was something he couldn’t explain.
The fact that she showed real interest in him stirred something awake deep inside of him that had been dormant for a long time.
“Storm is very special to me,” he said, again swallowing hard because his voice didn’t want to work immediately.
“She’s still struggling a bit, and I wanted to make sure that she doesn’t feel so alone.
” The way Poppy looked up at him then—with so much emotion—rattled him a little.
He started to see a side of her he wasn’t prepared for.
“That’s very sweet,” she replied with a soft smile. “Don Quixote is an exciting story. I’m sure she appreciates it.”
Neil lowered his head, feeling a little silly for reading to a horse. As if Poppy knew, she scooted even closer to him and put her hand over his again. Her closeness flustered him.
“It’s very sweet,” she repeated with an imploring look. “I think she’s my favorite horse, and I really do hope she’ll feel better soon. If she does heal completely, do you think you could teach me how to ride?” Neil’s eyebrows shot up.
“You don’t know how to ride?” he asked, genuinely curious. “I’d be happy to teach you any day if you want to learn it.” She nodded with a bright smile.
And once again, something inside of him stirred, and Neil could feel a tingle all throughout his body. It was an unsettling feeling, unnerving even, but at the same time, it felt nice.
“Maybe we could pray for Storm to get better?” she asked then.
Her gaze was hopeful. Neil remembered that hope.
It hadn’t been that long ago when he had been just as hopeful as she seemed now.
His distance from God wasn’t because he didn’t believe in Him, but rather because he didn’t want to.
Regardless of his own issues, he couldn’t bring himself to deny her request, so he nodded.
Her smile was dazzling. He even bowed his head out of respect for her.
“Dear Heavenly Father,” she began, and Neil noticed yet another nuance in her tone of voice.
It sounded reverent, which reminded him of something meaningful he had lost. “Please give Storm strength to heal her body from the poison. Please, make her whole again. Give her the courage and endurance to fight whatever is trying to claim her. Shine Your light within her so she may feel Your presence to know that she’s loved. ”
Neil felt another lump grow in his throat. But Poppy wasn’t finished.
“And please give my husband the insight to find his way back to You.”
Neil almost gasped.
“Enlighten him with Your grace and fill him with Your love so he can heal his soul from within. Amen.”
Neil gaped at her. Then he noticed something else Poppy did whenever she prayed.
She always ended it with a nod. It displayed unyielding certainty in her belief.
He almost envied her blind trust in the Lord, but he also knew that he was once exactly like her.
So where had it gone wrong? How had he lost something so profound?
Before he could respond to her, he heard someone coming inside the barn. Seconds later, Paul appeared with Sophie on his arm. When he saw them sitting together closely on the blanket, he stopped in his tracks.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” he said, smiling at both of them. “But this little girl insisted on coming to find you. Didn’t you, Sophie?”
Sophie nodded, and her big eyes shimmered in the soft glow of the lantern as she took it all in with great interest. When her gaze fell onto the leftover piece of pie, she made an excited sound and stretched her hands out to Poppy.
“I guess she’s found what she was looking for,” Paul said with a chuckle, as he lowered the little girl down so she could run to Poppy.
She hugged her big sister tightly and smiled brightly at Neil before she gave Poppy a cute little side glance while she pointed at the pie. They all laughed at that.
“You’ll get a bellyache if you eat that so close before bedtime!” exclaimed Poppy, which made Sophie pout and sigh heavily.
“Have a good night, family,” Paul said as he tipped his hat at them. Neil nodded to him as his foreman left. His words had struck a chord within him.
Family.
He cleared his throat. All these crazy emotions tonight really messed with his head. He needed to get a grip.
It was then that Storm made a noise that sounded like a soft whinny. The mare lifted her head behind Poppy and seemed to inhale all the different smells before she attempted to roll upward. Sophie climbed off Poppy’s lap and stepped to the side to get a better look.
“I think we should give her some space, just in case she wants to get up,” Neil said immediately.
Poppy nodded and hurried to pack all the food back into the basket.
Neil picked up the blanket and shook all the hay off of it.
While both of them were busy clearing the stall, Sophie stepped closer to Storm’s head.
Neil watched as she crouched down and started to stroke the side of the mare’s cheek.
Poppy and Neil both stopped what they were doing when they heard a quiet hum.
Looking back to Sophie, they saw the little girl softly humming to the mare.
The horse made soft noises, as if the two of them had a secret conversation nobody else was privy to.
Sophie stepped even closer and stroked Storm’s shoulder, and before Neil could react, Storm rolled her big body again and came to stand on her feet—right above the little girl.
“Sophie!” Poppy exclaimed, but Neil knew that her sister wasn’t in any danger and held her back.
“Wait,” he said calmly. He wanted to see their interaction. Poppy put the basket outside the entrance to the stall, but she came right back to watch.
Sophie stretched her little arms up toward the horse’s head, and Storm lowered it ever so gently until Sophie could hug it again. She squealed in excitement, and Storm nickered softly.
“I think Storm is feeling better,” Poppy whispered to Neil. Her eyes were wide with wonder, and she seemed surprised. She stood directly next to him, and Neil could feel her body pressed against his arm. He didn’t move an inch. He just nodded. Poppy turned back to Sophie with a wide smile.
“Do you like the horse?” she asked the little girl in that special tone of voice that was exclusive to Sophie.
Her sister nodded with a bright smile, and Neil couldn’t help a smile.
This little girl was so adorable in her innocence; his heart melted.
“Her name is Storm. She’s a girl, too.” Sophie giggled and clapped her hands excitedly.
“I guess I’ll have to teach both of you how to ride, hm?” he said, and when Poppy’s head spun back to look at him, he smiled at her. She smiled back.
Neil couldn’t look away, neither did Poppy. If anything, she leaned closer into him, which made Neil’s heart skip a beat.
Sophie made another noise, which pulled both of them out of their trance