37
Demi
At their request, I walk the aunts through how I performed the spell.
Step by step. They listen intently, sharing glances every so often.
Meanwhile, Blue sits silently in the bay window with her legs and arms crossed, a fortress I’d give anything to break through.
I just want to know what she’s thinking, how she’s feeling.
“We said the book was for research purposes only,” Kitty says.
“I know.”
“The book was from the ‘Do-Not-Touch’ cabinet,” adds Mickey.
“I know.”
Kitty reaches over and takes my hand, shaking her head. “Don’t you remember the lilacs?”
“I remember the lilacs, Kitty.”
“I always knew you had power in you,” Mickey leans in and whispers, her eyes sparkling.
“Mick, don’t encourage this.”
Mickey tries to hide her smile and fails. “I’m not encouraging . But you have to admit, it’s pretty impressive.”
“Impressive and ? ?a violation of the laws of nature. ”
“Yes, and we’ll get to that,” Mickey says with an eyeroll. “But can we just take a moment to celebrate that Demi found her power?”
A conspiratorial smile creeps across Kitty’s face.
“This is so typical,” Blue says from the window.
The three of us turn toward her.
“You okay, hun?” Mickey asks her.
“What’s typical?” I add.
I can feel a storm brewing in this room, and the clouds are right above my sister’s head.
She meets my eyes across the space between us, and there’s just enough of a crack in her facade for me to see a glimpse of hurt, a slice of betrayal, a hint of worry, and something darker and deeper than all three.
“Demi went behind our backs and did a spell she knew was wrong, and now we’re celebrating it.”
“That’s oversimplifying it,” I say.
Her gaze pierces me like a sword. She leans forward and rests her elbows on her knees.
“Fine. You betrayed the aunts’ trust.”
“Blue, we’re working through it,” Kitty says gently.
My sister ignores her. Right now, she only has eyes for me. This is what I’ve been dreading, what’s been keeping me up at night. The wrath of Blue is coming for me fast and furious. I take a deep breath and brace for impact.
“You violated the laws of nature.”
I nod. “I know.”
“You were selfish.”
“Selfish?” For whatever reason, that gets under my skin. Fine. If Blue wants to have it out, we’ll have it out. “I brought a man back to life. ”
“Because you were lonely.”
Ouch.
“Because Tristan deserved a second chance,” I argue.
“So it had nothing to do with the fact that you were suddenly single and this ghost was giving you attention?”
“Blue…” Mickey warns.
“Tristan is a good man. He didn’t deserve to die. I had the opportunity to do something good for him, and I took it.”
Her eyes flare. “You’ve known him for two months, and just because you decided that he didn’t deserve to die fifty years ago, that’s a good enough excuse?”
“Excuse for what?”
“For what you’ve done! Lying, and putting yourself at risk to do a spell you had no business doing.”
“Blue, this is going too far,” Kitty says.
“My husband ?died.” Blue’s voice is sharp, and her words are blunt, leaving the room in stunned silence.
Oh. Oh.
Dear god, I really am selfish.
My sister's eyes are full of heartbreak and anger, lined with the silver of tears I know she’ll try not to shed.
“You say you did the spell because Tristan is a good man, that he didn’t deserve to die. What about Felix? What about my husband?”
“I’m so sorry.” That's all I can say.
Blue looks at the aunts, who sit on my bed with pain in their eyes and their hands over their mouths .
“When he died, I came to you for help, but you told me no. It was against the laws of nature. ‘Remember the lilacs. That’s not the kind of magic we do.’”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Mickey sighs.
“But the minute Demi talked about the handsome ghost in her house, somehow you had just the book for her.”
“We didn’t think—” Kitty tries, but Blue cuts her off, turning her attention to me.
“And you,” she says. “When you found the spell, did you even think of me at all?”
I didn’t. I should have, and I didn’t.
“I’ve spent my whole life putting you first, Demi. When you realized you could bring someone back to life, did it even cross your mind to do it for me? Or did you only think about the guy you’ve known for two months?”
Shit.
My silence must tell her enough. She stands and nods. “That’s what I thought.”
“Blue, please,” I beg.
“No. Not this time, Demi. I’m done.”
She stalks toward the door, and my panic rises. My eyes fill with tears.
“Done?” I ask. What does she mean, done? Doesn’t she know she’s everything to me? Doesn’t she know that if she leaves, part of my soul leaves with her?
Blue stops at the doorway and turns toward me. I can see she’s about to cry, too, but I know she won’t let me see it.
“You’ve obviously gotten yourself into some deep shit meddling with life and death. But I’m done cleaning up your messes. This one’s on you. ”
With that, my sister turns her back on me and walks away. When I hear the manor’s front door slam behind her, my heart breaks into a million tiny pieces. I bury my face in my hands and let the tears come.
She’s right. I didn’t think about her. It didn’t even cross my mind that bringing someone back to life would hurt her. I just thought she’d be mad that I put myself at risk, that I kept it from her. How could I be so blind? So selfish?
The weight on the bed shifts, and I feel a pair of big hands on my shoulders.
Tristan. He guides me into his arms, and he holds me as I cry.
He must have heard everything from the library, and he came right to my side.
I don’t deserve to be loved like this. Especially not right now. But I’m so grateful for it.
Untangling from Tristan, I pull myself together, dry my eyes, and get back to the business of facing the consequences I’ve sown for myself.
Despite the circumstances, Kitty and Mickey are eyeing Tristan with a voracious curiosity, their eyes bright and glittering.
“You must be who all this fuss is about,” Mickey says.
“I guess so. Sorry about that,” he replies.
“Sister stuff runs deep. They’ll get through it,” Kitty says, then meets my eyes. “Trust me.”
Tristan’s hand rests on my back, anchoring me in the present and keeping me from a full-blown spiral. I’ve finally come up against circumstances that seem to have completely shattered my laid-back stasis. I feel like I couldn’t find cool-girl-Demi right now even if I tried.
“Have you told them yet?” Tristan asks softly .
“We can see you. We know she did the spell,” Kitty says.
Tristan gives me a gracious, if forced, smile.
“There’s something else,” I say.
“Oh, goddess, what now?” Mickey sighs.
“I don’t think I escaped the consequences of doing the spell.”
Kitty’s eyebrows pinch. “What do you mean?”
I take a deep breath.
“Remember the lilacs?” I ask. My aunts nod, and the curiosity and amusement in their faces fade. They know what I’m about to say. Kitty reaches for Mickey’s hand and holds it. “I think Tristan is the lilacs, and I’m the houseplant.”
“We were afraid of this,” Mickey says.
“We had a feeling.”
“How do we fix it?” Tristan asks. He’s impatient and anxious; I can feel it in the energy crackling off him.
An ache takes hold of my stomach again, just as a different type of ache grips me by the spirit.
It’s been a bad day. My aunts are disappointed, and my sister is done with me.
My boyfriend is terrified, and I might be dying, not to mention the fact that I didn’t even get to enjoy my milkshake at lunch.
“We could try to reverse the spell,” Kitty offers. “But that would turn Tristan back into a ghost.”
“Do it,” Tristan says without a second of hesitation.
“No,” I reply firmly.
“We can’t even guarantee if it would work,” Mickey adds.
“It’s worth a try,” Tristan says .
I look at him and shake my head. “Tristan, no .”
The last thing on earth I want is to reverse the spell. I can’t fathom the thought of sending the man I love back to his lonely existence, back to his unfair death. There’s no way.
“Demi, if it’s between you and me, I need it to be you that survives this.”
“And I need it to be both of us.”
“Slow down,” Kitty interjects. “Mickey and I need to do some research, talk to other witches, before we can come up with a plan. We’re not making any recommendations until we do our due diligence.”
“We don’t have time,” Tristan says. He appears calm on the outside, but the way his fingers tremble on my back tells a different story, and so does the way his jaw keeps clenching. I know beyond that quiet exterior, this is tearing him up inside.
“Give us a day or two,” Mickey says, offering Tristan a maternal pat on the knee.
A few days. I can handle a few days. The consequences of the magic I used seem to be manifesting in me on a delay, anyway. Tristan has been in his corporeal form for about a week and a half at this point, and I’m just now starting to experience… whatever this is.
“If your condition worsens, we’ll come right away and try a reversal spell,” says Kitty.
I shake my head. “I don’t want a reversal spell.”
“Worst-case scenario, dear. Only if there’s no other option.”
“I’ll call you myself if she gets worse,” Tristan agrees.
“I feel like you’re ganging up on me here,” I say .
Kitty sighs. “No, Demi. We’re trying to save your life.”