Chapter 4 – Theo
CHAPTER FOUR
THEO
Bennett looks wrung out when he walks into the kitchen.
Three days.
It’s been three straight days of June in the nest and me staying as far as fucking possible. Except for the one time I felt trapped like a wild animal watching Seth fuck her as she whimpered my name.
Bennett walks to the fridge, pulling out various ingredients as he speaks. “I’m making soup to see if she’ll eat it. We finished the risotto last night.”
I’ve been existing solely on wine and take-out, I wouldn’t know.
Any of the hard liquors we have around the townhouse are from Bennett and Seth’s brand, and I didn’t relish the thought of getting so drunk that I found myself stumbling upstairs to beg for forgiveness. I’ve also been sleeping on the couch, folding my huge ass body into a pretzel to do it.
I nod at him, stepping out of his way. It does nothing to stop the smell of his orange perfume wafting over to me, covered in honey, like it’s drizzled on him. I’m not one hundred percent sure he was in the nest last night — but Arin’s barely left since he got home.
Bennett grabs a rotisserie chicken from the fridge, shredding it onto a plate, separating it from the bone. “I’m making my own stock, it’ll take some time.”
“I can help,” I offer, shifting closer.
He levels me with a look. “Seth will be down soon. Any particular reason you’ve been sleeping in the living room instead of in your room?”
I cringe, grabbing my glass of wine. My room shares the same floor as the nest above us, that’s reason enough. “Giving you all space.”
“She doesn’t want space, Theo.” Bennett picks the chicken apart with deft fingers. “Arin won’t hold up by himself, I’m still tired, and Seth is doing what he can as a beta .”
“I think I’ve done enough.”
Bennett raises his head, staring at me. “I don’t know… what this is.” He motions up and down, encompassing me. “But it’s getting really fucking old.”
I still. “I don’t know what you mean. I’ve been helping where I can.”
He drops the chicken onto the plate before wiping his hands and staring up at me, his voice low. “I’m glad that’s what you’re telling yourself, because she was a mess when we got home. And I’m not talking about the way you covered her in marks, or the way you were the first of us to have her in the nest. I’m talking about the way her eyes have been swollen for days because when we finish doting on her, loving her, she asks if you’re okay — if you’re coming upstairs.”
His anger makes his voice break. “And I can’t tell her one more time that you need time to adjust. Either step the fuck up and recognize that you have to sort your own shit out, or leave .”
I think if he’d plunged a knife into my chest, it would hurt less.
Seth rounds the corner into the kitchen, long hair damp. He freezes, eyes darting between the two of us.
Bennett looks back at the ravaged chicken. “Oh, and Theo?”
I give him a wary look.
He swipes the bones into the stock pot. “Seth is an adult and can consent to whatever he wants with anyone he wants in this pack, but if you bark at my beta again and keep making my omega cry, I’ll fucking kill you.” He grabs two bottles of water and shoves them at me. “Take those upstairs to Arin and see if he’s going to come out anytime soon.”
I take the bottles, stunned speechless as I pass Seth. Regret tastes bitter on my tongue, but Seth flashes me a weak smile, patting my shoulder. “He’s just a little prickly. I’m not mad at you.”
The simple words and smile ease the tightness in my chest as I head toward the stairs. I can do this. I inhale, focusing on heading to the nest, ignoring my room and hesitating just a moment outside the door, making sure I can’t hear any gasping or moaning. When I don’t, I turn the knob, glancing inside.
Arin looks tired . His eyes are closed with his hand on June’s head, curled up against his side, her head on a pillow. For once, she looks like she’s actually sleeping deeply.
Arin’s head raises sharply before he lets out a breath. “You can just leave them at the door, I’ll get up in a moment.” His rough voice is barely above a whisper, and he winces as he sits up, careful of June next to him.
I take in his bare body, deep tanned skin pulling over his lean muscles as my prime, my oldest friend, climbs out of the nest. He stands, naked, getting his feet under him before he steps toward me. I’ve seen everything of my pack mates in the last seventy-two hours, but it’s never bothered me. There are other, more pressing matters taking up my mental bandwidth.
“You look like shit.”
He grimaces, moving slowly with a groan. “I won’t lie, she’s wearing me down.” Taking a bottle from me, Arin drinks deeply before his eyes meet mine. “She won’t let us take her into the bathroom to clean her up. She keeps saying she doesn’t want to lose your scent on her. We’ve been reduced to washcloths only.”
My eyes fall on her, drawn like a magnet. She’s partially covered by one of the fuzzy blankets I panic bought for her — the same one that I’m sure was bunched under us days ago when I found myself in here with her, finally giving in.
My mouth goes dry. “Bennett is making soup. Seth is helping him.”
Arin’s stare sears my skin. It’s all out psychological warfare. I want to spill my fucking soul in the doorway of June’s nest like I’m a young alpha who can’t keep his shit together.
“You look like you need rest.” I blurt the words at him, desperate to break the tension.
Arin pushes a hand through his wild curls, nodding. “Yeah, I think this is the first time she’s slept more than an hour. It might mean she’s close to the end, we could be lucky and it’s only five days, not seven or eight.”
I step to the side, glancing at her again. “Go get cleaned up. I’ll… I can just sit out here and if she wakes up, I’ll come get whoever she wants.”
Arin brushes past me, then pauses, looking at me and then back at her. “She wants you , Theo.”
He leaves me with those words.
Slowly, I sink to the floor outside the door, leaning against the frame. From this angle, I can’t really see much other than the nest wall, and I fidget with one of the water bottles. The room smells like a mix of all of us — my own scent lingering. Rain, with warm mint tea full of honey, pieces of chocolate fudge and oranges — like the perfect early morning breakfast back home in the States.
Closing my eyes, I breathe in and out, letting it coat my senses. I was so panicked when I couldn’t find her the other day, so frantic at the thought that something had happened to her while I was hiding in my room. I’d been trying to figure out how to leave during the heat — but not leave Bennett and Arin and Seth to fill in the gaps and exhaust themselves.
I should have known it was an impossible feat.
Heats should be easier to navigate. Where’s the instinctual feeling in me that wants to give in? Why can I fight it so easily? Why does this all just remind me of hearing my mother fight with my fathers, flinching memories of them barking at her to ‘ shut the fuck up ’ and watching her take under the counter heat suppressants so she didn’t have to spend weeks at a time out of her mind at their mercy.
She’s never told me the full story — if there was love there once, or if it’s always been this tumultuous. I swear she used to have more fight in her, but the older I got, the more she just gave in to their ire.
A whimper from the nest makes me jolt.
June sits up, looking around frantically, her eyes wide, the blanket falling off of her. “Arin?”
I push up. “It’s okay, Arin just went to shower.”
Her head whips to the side, her eyes finding mine, red-rimmed, just like Bennett said. She hiccups, her voice shaking, her pink lips parted as she breathes out. “Theo?”
She doesn’t sound totally out of it, not as dazed as before, and I perk up. “Yeah, it’s me, June. Bennett’s making you some soup with Seth. You gonna eat for us?”
“Why are you over there?” She shifts, her hands reaching toward me. Her hair is a wreck around her neck and I find myself standing, almost stepping closer, freezing so I don’t cross the line into her nest. June frowns at me. “Why aren’t you over here?”
“Do you want me?” I stare at her, swallowing. “Are you sure?”
She nods, reaching for me again. “Theo —” June pauses, clearing her raspy throat.
I crunch the water bottle in my hand and sprint across the threshold, letting the door slam shut behind me as I stride over to her. Dropping down on one knee, I open the bottle and cradle the back of her head, holding it to her mouth. “Drink, then talk.”
She looks up at me, and this close I see how shiny her eyes are with unshed tears. June listens, letting me tip the water into her mouth. I watch her drink until she sighs, her hand reaching out to wrap around my tattooed forearm.
Her voice is barely a whisper. “I’m so tired. Everything hurts.” She swallows thickly. “Nothing stops the cramping unless I’m coming. I think my fever is finally lower, though.” Her voice breaks, and I’m not sure I can stand here and listen to her cry as her lower lip trembles. “I don’t know what I did to make you leave, but I’m sorry . I’m sorry that I even came here, that you don’t want me, but everything in me wants you, Theo. I want your stupid, stubborn, mean self, because at least you made me consider whether I should have stayed here or not — if I only picked this because it was the easiest option.”
My heart falls out of my stomach as I stare at her. “June…”
She shakes her head, grasping my arm harder, clinging to me. “I like that you didn’t ask me what I wanted — that you just bought me things for this nest. I like that you and I can’t seem to figure out if we hate each other, or if it’s something more complicated. I like that you don’t make me admit what I’m thinking like Arin does, or know what you’re doing like Bennett always seems to.”
June sucks in a breath.
“And I love that you told me not to listen to my mother. I want you all. I’m tired of pretending like I don’t.”
I let the water bottle drop to the floor as I lean in, cupping her face.
June’s lashes flutter, tears brimming. “We’ll figure it all out, whatever it is between us. Even if it’s a nightmare to do it, because I don’t feel right unless you’re a part of this too.”
Dropping my forehead against hers, I exhale, closing my eyes, unable to look at her. “I have completely fucked this up. I should be begging you for forgiveness and groveling. You have nothing to apologize for.”
Her fingers drag up my arm. “Fix it. I… I did something, my presence did something, and I want you to fix it.”
I sigh, pulling her closer for a moment before I bend down and swing her up into my arms. Her soft, full curves fill my arms as I lift her effortlessly out of the nest and step around the edge, carrying her to the bathroom door.
June lets out a noise of surprise.
“You should not have to hear my bullshit in the middle of your heat.” I place her down on a bench inside the bathroom and turn on the taps for the huge tub to let it fill, my shoulders tightening. “That’s unbelievably selfish of me.”
When I glance back at her, she pulls her knees to her chest, covering herself as she rests her chin on them. “I think we’re past that.” Her voice is gentle, even though her words are punctuated by a teasing smile. “I’ve had four separate dicks in me for the past few days, and I’ve been begging for it. We’ve reached the appropriate time to trauma-bond.”
I shoot her a look, failing to hide my smile. “You must be feeling better if you’re making an orgy joke, princess.”
She scoffs, turning her head away, but I catch a glimpse of her cheeks as they flush a light pink. “Trust me, I still feel like shit, but at least you’ve all been polite enough to ignore it.”
I look at her for a solid moment, taking in the bare curves of her body, hunched over, her skin soft and smooth, but flushed and marked with various bites — she’s been kissed, sucked, and fucked during the past few days. She’ll probably bruise, but the memories of being buried between her legs come back to me in flashes — my lips wrapped around her skin, wanting desperately to leave a lasting impression of myself on her.
Pathetic desire claws at my chest. The urge to fall to my knees, to prostrate myself, is so strong that I have to swallow it back. This isn’t about me. None of this is. It should all be about her.
I step around her, rummaging in a cabinet and pulling out some bubble bath I bought the other day. Pouring it into the tub, I check the temperature as I swirl my hand through it, looking over at her. “Want me in with you?”
“What kind of question is that?” She arches an eyebrow at me, her pout delightfully bratty.
Rolling my eyes, I tug my t-shirt off, dropping it onto the bench next to her. Her answering smile makes my chest warm as her eyes drag over my skin. They pause a few times on various art pieces, before she hums and watches me push my sweats down.
When her eyes come back to mine, her pupils are larger, lips parted. “I like how you make me feel small.”
Bending down, I scoop her up from the bench, easing us into the tub, grateful it’s just steps into the water, like a pool. The warm, scented water embraces us as I murmur, “What do you mean?”
She grumbles, but lets me pull her back against my chest, content to work on the tangle of her hair at the nape of her neck until she’s ready to explain herself.
“It’s stupid.” June swirls her fingertips through the bubbles as I start to work soap into her hair. “It’s probably some kind of omega hindbrain ‘ big alpha, small omega ’ bullshit.” Leaning her head back while I massage the shampoo in, she sighs. “But you’re big , you’re all muscle and have a soft stomach, and I like it.”
June doesn’t turn her head, but her hand does move under the water, stroking my side as she sits in my lap. “Arin, Bennett, and Seth are all thin. You and I are fat. It’s simple fact — even if both words are charged with too many negative connotations. Seth’s shirts would never fit me if he didn’t buy them so oversized.”
I hum, abandoning her hair for a moment to dip my hand under the water, caressing her round stomach as I press a kiss to her bare shoulder. “I love the way you look, June. I have since I saw you that first night, curled up outside my bedroom.”
She’d been crying and I’d only made it worse out of sheer stupidity, but it doesn’t change the way I’ve wanted her since that very moment.
I touch her, just lightly, letting my fingers brush over the swells of her skin, down to the fullness of her inner thighs. “You’re beautiful just as you are.”
She turns her head, her eyes soft. “Will you tell me your bullshit, please?”
Sighing, I guide her back around, focusing on untangling her hair as I speak.
“It’s always weirded me out when alphas my age have been focused on finding omegas who are barely eighteen. It makes my skin crawl.” I rub the strands between my fingers, lathering them and untangling piece by piece. “I don’t know if there’s much to the story. My mother came from a traditionalist family, who wanted her with alphas who held the same belief. I think she emerged at sixteen and was married by seventeen to my two fathers.”
Scrubbing her scalp, she relaxes back into me, her breathing evening out. “I was ten before I realized how fucking weird it was that they treated her like a walking incubator, because at that time I realized that she was useless to them — having me nearly killed her, they had to give her an emergency hysterectomy immediately after I was born.”
She stops breathing in my arms, her hand dropping to my thigh to hold onto me, solidifying me. She’s right — we’re both full-bodied, but the weight of her on my lap feels right. We’re perfectly matched, like the world was just waiting for us to collide — two dying stars creating a cataclysm.
“I don’t think my fathers wanted to save her.” I whisper the words to her back. “But they also didn’t want to raise me alone, so they made the life-saving call, even though they both wanted a litter-full of alphas to command and groom to be just like them. By saving her, they lost that chance — and I was never what they wanted.”
I work out a particularly nasty tangle, bringing her head lower to rinse the soap clear before switching to conditioner. It slicks up my palms as I stroke her hair, careful to get each strand.
“Needless to say, my fathers are pieces of shit. They think everything should be handed to them because they’re alphas, and it doesn’t matter who it is, they lash out if they feel like they’re being mistreated.”
Maybe there’s some kind of special conditioner for omegas . I focus on her hair for a moment, letting the words hang. It’s a mess — and I don’t want her to have to go through this process every single heat.
I could braid it .
“Theo?” she prompts me softly.
Clearing my throat, I blink. “I just didn’t know better until I met Arin. When we were just kids, I saw that his parents actually loved each other. I realized people who love each other don’t scream and break things, or hit their partners.”
Her voice is gentle as she speaks. “My parents are betas, but they believe what your fathers do. All of their friends believe that one day they’ll do the ultimate service and pop out an omega, and give them to the ‘right’ type of alpha. The kind of alpha who doesn’t believe in packs, who will keep an omega in the house, locked up, barefoot and pregnant.” June’s tone turns scathing. “Alphas do so much, you know, they should be on the top of society, the most powerful positions, and come home every night to a warm meal and a willing cunt.”
I make a noise in the back of my throat, half a growl, half guiding her to be quiet as I rinse her hair again, working my fingers through it so the conditioner washes out.
“I told myself to never bond to an omega, because I didn’t want to become them, that’s my bullshit. I’m fucking terrified of you.” I go quiet, letting her sit in my lap as I survey the back of her hair to make sure I didn’t miss a single tangle. “When Arin finally said he wanted to form a pack with me, I panicked because I thought he’d found someone to bond, and that was the last thing I ever wanted.”
She turns her head. “What about the alpha urges? Don’t you want to take care of someone, want to be there for them? I feel like I’ve been losing my mind with the emotional back and forth the last two weeks, how have you ignored it?”
I shrug, giving her a forced smile. “When it gets bad I just reorganize Arin’s sock drawer and piss him off by doing housework until I earn my place here — until I’m useful.”
She slides in the water, sloshing it up on the sides of the tub as she turns in my lap, her knees moving to the sides of my thighs, looking at me seriously as she cups my face. “You don’t need to earn your place in this pack, Theo.”
“And you don’t have to give up your freedom to have your own place here.”
The bathroom is silent as we stare at each other.
I run my thumb over the side of her jaw, my voice barely audible as I break the silence, stroking a bruise. “I really did a fucking number on you, I’m sorry.”
She leans closer, shaking her head as she makes me meet her eyes. “Yeah, well, I seem to have come into your life and set fire to all your childhood insecurities, so we’re even.”
I snort, leaning up as I lift her in the water, letting her fully straddle me as I slide my hands over her back, warm skin under mine, my throat raw.
“Maybe it was time for me to get over my shit.”
“Maybe it was time for me to let someone in” — June tilts her head — “or four someones.”
Smiling up at her, I cup the back of her neck, watching her eyes flare with heat in the split second before I pull her to me, kissing her slowly, our noses nudging as I stand with her in my arms. As I climb out of the tub, I grab a warm towel, slinging it over her and drying her off before placing her on the counter, my hands palming her thighs.
“Can we be adults about this, or are we going to keep fighting like animals? Do you…” I swallow around the weight on my tongue, my brain spinning as I try to find the right words. “I promise you right here, right now, that I will prove my worth to you every second of every day.”
She hums, her hands moving up my back, her voice breathy. “I don’t need your fealty, Theo. I kind of like having someone to scream at when I feel a little crazy. As long as you don’t mind. I’m tired of running, but if I do, will you promise to catch me?”
“I promise.” I pull her to the edge of the counter by her thighs, rewarded with a little gasp as her perfume blooms, soft and fragrant honey coating me from head to toe. “I will always catch you.” Dropping one of my hands from her thigh, I run my fingers through her slit, gathering the slick there before I slip them between her folds, parting her for me.
“This is how tonight will go, princess.” I toy with her, thumbing her clit as I lift her again, letting her cling to me as I turn toward the nest. “You’re going to come until your slick is dripping down your thighs, and then I’m going to fuck you until you shake, until you just can’t take it anymore.”
Dropping her in the nest, I land on top of her, bending down to bite her lower lip, careful not to break skin. “And then, only then, will I give your sweet little honey-flavored cunt my knot.”
June’s lips part, her eyes hooded as she stares up at me, breathing harshly. She whines a little, lifting her hips, but I pin her down with a hand, smiling. “And then I’ll fuck you into the pillows while you’re stuffed full of me, and then fuck you some more until there’s nowhere else for my cum to go but seep out between us.”
She moans, changing tactics and grabbing my hair by the fistful, her nails scoring my scalp as she tries to tug me down to kiss her.
I resist.
“Finally, I’ll hold you until my knot goes down and do it all again until your heat breaks.” I relent, letting her drag my face to hers, kissing her deeply as I whisper, “There won’t be an alpha who exists that won’t know you’re mine. They’ll be able to smell me dripping out of you.”
June gasps as I drop a hand, opening her thighs to me before I press myself at her entrance and thrust into her in one smooth stroke. She nods, her head tilting back, exposing her throat to me as she whines, “ Please , Theo.”
I groan as my lips fall to her neck, holding her against me as I thrust deeper. “Whatever you want, it’s yours. I’ve caught you and you’re mine now.”