Chapter 14 – June
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
JUNE
Lukas Peterson is very handsome.
He’s built like a linebacker, with a dusting of blond hair at the top of his head. The second I enter the dining room, I’m hit with the smell of apples, fresh from the tree, crisp and juicy. I don’t feel drawn to the scent, but it’s not offensive like some alphas I’ve encountered.
Lukas stands immediately, manners and propriety winning out as he looks at me the same way I’m sure I’m looking at him — sizing me up.
The painfully tight set of his shoulders doesn’t ease as his gaze flickers to Arin briefly. Theo, Seth, and Bennett all stand too, waiting for me to decide which empty chair to go to — one at the head of the table and next to my still-seated father, and the other sandwiched between my seated mother and the unfamiliar alpha.
I don’t relish the thought of being trapped between them, but Seth is positioned across from that chair, and I’d rather be there than at the head. Everyone will already be looking at me tonight, I don’t want to make it even worse.
Arin catches my hand as I step toward the chair between my mother and Lukas, stopping me briefly to kiss my cheek sweetly. He pointedly turns his cheek, rubbing the stubble along his jaw against my skin, making me flush as he adds an extra, unnecessary layer of his scent to my skin.
Lukas fumbles, the smell of apple taking on a vinegar tang as he pulls my chair out for me, giving me a hesitant smile. I force a small one back, smoothing out my dress before taking my seat.
The moment I do, my mother adjusts her fork and hisses, “What in the world are you wearing, Juniper?”
My fingers freeze as they skim the expertly folded napkin resting on the charger plate. The table is quiet — too quiet — and my mother’s shrill voice rings in the air. Her whispers have never been subtle.
Finally, I raise my head, pulling the napkin into my lap carefully as I offer her a tight-lipped smile. “Do you like it? Bennett, my alpha, bought it for me as a bonding gift.”
Here we go .
She sucks in a shocked breath, staring at me like I have three heads and just announced to the room I’m carrying Satan’s illegitimate baby. Her eyes fall, skimming my neck, fixating on the fully exposed bond mark. Sudden gratefulness hits me that Bennett was the one to pull my hair back, fixing it to make sure she and everyone else could see the way he marked me as his own.
My father won’t meet my eyes, sitting on my mother’s other side.
Arin watches us at the end of the table. Seth fidgets across from me. Bennett stares next to him. Theo’s lips twitch, fighting a scowl. Lukas looks like he’d rather be shot than be here.
“Congratulations on the bond.” Lukas says it so softly, it takes me a moment to register it.
Smiling, I turn toward him, genuine. “Thank you.” My eyes dart to Bennett for half a second, catching his smile as the bond warms, a hot coil around my heart. “Bennett isn’t my only bonded.” I reach my hand across the table toward Seth, sliding our fingers together.
“ Two alphas.” My mother squeaks the words, sounding like a leaky balloon.
I catch Theo’s eyes on my mother, barely restrained anger rolling off him in waves, daring her to say something about any of us.
“Actually.” I let Seth go, picking up my water. “Bennett is both mine and Seth’s alpha.” The glass clinks as I accidentally hit the charger plate, and I lick my lips. “Bonding will happen when it’s time with the rest of my pack.”
My mother puts a hand over her chest, sucking in a breath and opening her red-smeared mouth.
Harriet Walden is a lot of things, but unopinionated is not one of them.
I can’t remember a time in my life where she hasn’t offered unsolicited thoughts or advice on everything I’ve done. From who I should have been friends with as a child, to the degree I chose to pursue as a college student, to the career that got me out of her house. Sometimes I wonder if my father ever even proposed — or if she just told him it was time to get married and he went along with it.
“Three alphas and a beta .” She says Seth’s designation like it’s a curse, and I know to her, it is. “And you stayed with them during your heat ?” Her hands flutter, her face flushing. “I have never — I mean it’s just — how could you bring this up to us? How could you make me think of you in this way? I can’t even imagine strangers making this decision, but my own daughter —”
She cuts herself off, making a strangled noise as she looks around me at Lukas. “Alpha, I am so sorry, I sincerely apologize for my daughter’s actions, the fact that she’s bonded one of these…” Her eyes flicker across the table and she suddenly trails off when Theo’s lip curls.
Lukas has the good graces to look mortified that she even brought up my heat.
I just feel… nothing.
Nothing for the fact she’s trying to embarrass me. Nothing for the woman next to me who is so similar in so many ways, but so different in others. We share the same almost-red hair. Our faces are rounded — something she could never diet away, even though her limbs and body are stripped of as much fat as she could starve off. She’s a shell of a person, and it’s never been clearer to me than it is now.
It’s both devastating, and horrifying.
“I know I raised you better than being passed around a group of men like a toy.” She pivots, her eyes finding mine, pinched at the edges. “What happened to saving yourself for a nice alpha? There was an option in London right there for you, but you were too stupid to take it. We never should have allowed you to move out or write those pack books you do —” She shoves away from the table, shaking her head. “All of this is just — oh, I feel faint. I can’t —” She cuts herself off again, then walks straight out of the room.
All before the first course.
I feel like I’m floating outside my body for a moment as my father swallows. His eyes dart to the door, then back to me. In the split second, I see a thousand emotions, but mostly sadness.
“She just needs a minute.” He stands. “We’ll be back.”
And then he runs after her — like he always does.
No one moves. The door clicks shut.
It’s all so dramatic .
I turn and meet Lukas’ eyes, bursting into guffawing laughter at the same moment he does. We both bend halfway over the table, tears springing to our eyes as we shake, howling with it as the rest of my pack stares at us.
“What did —”
“I don’t —”
“The club had to —”
“Oh, there’s no way it didn’t —”
We talk over each other until we both manage to catch our breaths. I press my hands against my cheeks, staring at him in a new light as Lukas leans back in his chair and sinks down, groaning softly.
“I’m so sorry they dragged you up here,” I mutter, shaking my head at him.
His face falls as he scrubs a hand over it. “No, I’m sorry, about all of this. I think both our parents decided they could… force some weird matchmaking, but it’s clear you’re happy. I tried to tell mine no, but there was no arguing. It was all so last minute, they only told me you existed last week.”
I grimace at him, chewing on my lower lip. “You shouldn’t have been roped into this.”
He shrugs, glancing at Arin. “I tried to tell them if there was already a pack in place and with a prime, then there wasn’t any point, but they —”
“— don’t see any type of reason,” Arin finishes, his eyes on me . “Yes, I see that now.”
Lukas makes a face. “At least you all aren’t too far away. I can still make it home tonight if I take a late flight.”
My heart tugs. “Are… will you be okay?” I know what it feels like to be monitored, forced and coerced, all under the guide of parents thinking it’s the right thing to do. And there’s a biological part inside me, purely platonic and omega, that just wants to make sure this alpha next to me is happy. He deserves to be. It doesn’t need to be me that makes him that, but I want it all the same for him.
Lukas fidgets in his seat. “I’ve spent the last six months trying to figure out how to tell my parents that I have a pack of my own.”
“Oh.”
A soft smile brightens his features. “Yeah. I mean… well it’s not traditional, in any way that they’d like.” His features are that kind of all-American handsome that I can see anyone else melting over. “But there’s a beta and she’s amazing. We met another alpha when we were out one night and there might not be an omega in the picture but the three of us together, we just work … and both of them…”
“You’re happy.” I whisper the words, recognizing the look of yearning.
Lukas nods. “Yeah, I’m happy.”
The worry that the alpha that they were bringing to tonight’s dinner would be a cartoon villain dies in my chest, replaced by aching sadness. He should be home with his pack, not suffering through tonight because of a group of disillusioned betas who insist that biology trumps sense.
I glance across the table at Bennett and Seth, before my eyes find Theo, then Arin. “I guess if you’re here, you should at least stay for dinner. Ashley is a wonderful chef.”
“Maybe if we’re lucky, they won’t come back to the table.” Theo picks up his napkin, shooting me a teasing look.
I smile at him, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes. This is too simple and the night is young. Something else will ruin it.
My parents return minutes before Ashley sweeps in with plates piled high. She happily serves us all, throwing a few flirty comments my way, much to my mother’s shock and horror. I try not to let it bother me as I eat the tart salad and rich soup.
But as the main arrives, I can’t keep it at bay any longer.
“You should be full, Juniper.”
A stunning plate of pasta sits in front of me, but I can’t bring myself to pick up my fork as my mother speaks.
“You had all of the salad and all of the soup. You should be finished with dinner.” She barely glances down at her plate as she picks it up and leans around me. “Lukas, alpha , would you like mine? I couldn’t possibly eat it, and you need it.”
The way she says his designation makes my skin crawl. At the end of the day we aren’t people around a dinner table — we’re predetermined roles meant to play the exact parts she’s already mentally cast us in.
“Uh” — Lukas fumbles with his fork — “no, I’m fine, thank you Mrs. Walden.”
A sour taste fills my mouth. Anger — hot and fiery — strikes through the bond and I jolt, looking up at Seth as he glares daggers at my mother next to me. Just as he opens his mouth, Bennett lays a hand on his arm.
“We should ask Ashley for this pasta sauce recipe, June.” Bennett says the words casually. “We’ll make it together next week. It’s delicious this time.”
I glance back at my untouched fork, haunted by memories of growing up with family dinners always ending the same. My mother in the kitchen, scraping her full plate into the trash, sipping water through the meal to make herself feel full.
“Sure.” I look away from the fork, forcing a smile in Bennett’s direction.
He tries to catch my eyes, concern flooding our bond, but I glance back down as Lukas stutters in Seth’s direction. “You — uh — have a liquor company?”
Seth takes the opening and the conversation shifts, but I feel eyes on me as I keep my head down, staring at the full plate as my mind swirls.
I should be embarrassed. Not only did my parents already cause a scene, but now I’m doing it too. Pick up the fork. Eat. You haven’t been like this since college. Eat. You’re just going to make them ask questions. Fucking eat something.
A waitress comes in, clearing other dishes, before hesitating next to me. “I’ll box this for you.” She picks it up, then whisks it away with the rest.
Just as I pick up my napkin from my lap, my mother leans into me. My skin prickles, the familiar light scent of her natural perfume punched up uncomfortably with enhancers. She used to smell of tart cherry, oddly comforting, but now it has a sugared, faux edge to the scent.
“If you intend to keep these alphas’ eyes from wandering, it’s time to take care of yourself, Juniper.”
I swallow, blinking rapidly as I try to keep my eyes from straying to her, one ear on the conversation going on between Lukas and everyone else. It’s mundane — Seth gives him recommendations of restaurants in London, because apparently Lukas has never been.
“I am taking care of myself.”
My mother makes a noise of discontent, and the sound draws my attention. Her eyes flicker down, over my full chest in the dress, and then the skirt bunched in my lap. “Are you?” She leans back in her chair, shaking her head at me. “Don’t expect me to facilitate another meeting with a suitable alpha when this all falls apart. They won’t stay with you if you let yourself go anymore. I’m sure you’ve already exhausted Lukas’ good graces with this evening, and with that bite, it would be a hard sell. I suppose the alpha in London decided to cut his losses too — he probably knew you’d roll over and give it up for these alphas.”
I open my mouth, my throat going dry as I just stare at her.
“You need to stop writing, immediately. Clearly you can’t focus on your health and your alphas while also working. Your alphas should find you a personal trainer and put you on a diet. I’ll make sure I send over recommendations. Remember the lime diet in high school? You lost so much, you looked so good.”
The sound of a fork clanging against the table makes my eyes dart around her. My father sits, stock-still, as Arin glares at my mother from the end of the table, like he can burn a hole through the side of her face from sheer will alone.
Undeterred, my mother smooths out her napkin, whipping her head to the side.
“I assume you’ll provide for my daughter accordingly?” She snips the words, cutting off the conversation around the rest of the table. “Omegas should not be expected to work, they’re too fragile and their conditions are too unstable. The stress isn’t good, and if you’ve chosen to saddle yourself with my daughter, then I expect she’ll have what she needs.” She pauses, then motions to my father, “As will we, per tradition.”
“Fuck tradition.”
Theo’s rough voice travels across the table as Seth’s jaw drops. Nausea roils as bile burns the back of my throat.
“ Excuse —”
“You’re excused.” Theo stares at her, his fists white-knuckled on the table, barely restrained. “You have spent this entire fucking evening doing your best to upset June, while belittling our pack.” His tone doesn’t waver as he stares her down. “Arin might be our prime, he might be convinced he needs to play nice with you, but I sure as shit don’t. Shut the fuck up.”
She gasps, floundering for a moment as her eyes dart to my father, like he’ll do anything. He just sinks lower in his chair. At least someone is capable of feeling ashamed .
Theo’s eyes find mine, blazing like blue fire. “I need to make one thing very clear. Not only will I not place boundaries on what June wants to do with her life, but I won’t even entertain the thought of providing for you.” His gaze flies back to my mother. “You’re a cruel, vicious woman who thinks designation overrides decency. June will always be loved and provided for, but that same kindness does not, and will not ever be extended to you .”
The table goes quiet, my ears ringing — torn between elation that Theo spoke up, that he said what I can’t seem to get out of my mouth, and the utter horror of realizing this evening went exactly how I expected it to.
“We understand.” My father finally speaks, clearing his throat as he stands up, pointedly avoiding my gaze as he looks at Arin. “It’s time for my wife and I to return to our hotel room —”
“I’m leaving. I won’t sit idly and be disrespected.” My mother jumps up, grabbing her clutch like it was her idea in the first place, storming out without looking back once. My father takes one last look at me, echoes of my own features reflected in his face. In the span of a heartbeat, his hazel eyes soften before he turns and follows after my mother at a slower pace.
I blink down at the uneaten dessert in front of me as Lukas quietly places his napkin on the table.
“I should go too.” He clears his throat and I feel his eyes on me. The pity makes my skin crawl. “Are you —”
“Go back to your pack.” I force the words out.
“I am.” He hesitates, brief as his gaze moves to Arin. Something unspoken passes between them, before he mutters, “Thank you for tolerating this entire fucking night. I don’t think I could ever be as calm as you’ve been, but now I’m realizing that I don’t give a shit what anyone else says — I love my girls, and we don’t need anyone else’s approval. And they both deserve to know that.”
In a flash, he strides out.
I just sit for a moment, the room feeling smaller and smaller as Bennett reaches out through the bond, Seth’s emotions brushing against mine.
“June?” Bennett extends a hand across the table.
I shove them both away from my chest, building a wall they can’t get through around my heart as I stand, looking at Arin. “Can we go home now?”
He nods once, his face pulled tight. “Absolutely. What can —”
“I just want to go home.” My chest fractures wider.
This was all wrong. This was exactly what my mother wanted to happen. She proved every point she wanted to. She peeled me open and showed them all who I really am. How am I supposed to take care of them if I can’t even take care of myself?
“Bennett, thank Ashley for the lovely dinner.” I wrap my arms around myself, unable to look at the table as I walk away from it, trying to keep it together long enough to make it back to the car.