Chapter 16 – Arin
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ARIN
“What would you do if I was feral?”
“Well, I’d tolerate you, but you’d be a hell of a lot less mouthy.”
“Theo!” June’s loud laugh echoes as she slaps his chest. Theo wraps his arms around her, rocking them back and forth as she sprawls overtop him on one of our huge couches. She bends down, her nose scrunching with her smile as she murmurs, “I’d bite you.”
His grin is wicked, eyes flashing with unrestrained hunger. “That’s okay. I can do that too, princess.”
“Get a room, you two.” Seth throws a pillow at them.
June shrieks, dodging it as her face lights up with a thousand-watt smile.
Then her hazel eyes lock on mine.
My stomach flips — it’s been two weeks since the dinner with her parents. I did everything in my power to make the night as painless as possible. I oversaw where we met. I coordinated with Ashley to ensure the food was all of June’s favorites. I thought I planned for everything.
But I still failed.
She’s grown closer to Theo than I ever expected, something soft blossoming between them. I’ve been witness to it. Theo didn’t listen the night of the dinner when I instructed everyone to leave her alone.
Whatever happened means she is finally back to her level of comfort she felt with us after the heat.
I’d never intimately dealt with an omega’s heat before June — for obvious reasons — but I certainly read a lot about it in preparation before she decided to stay with us. I’d poured over books all hours of the day, trying to puzzle out what good alphas provide, what’s expected from a prime — and I still completely ruined it.
It’s clear to me now that her closeness with Bennett and Seth is for a reason. Their three-way bond is unbreakable. Maybe this all means I’m just not suited to head a pack. If everyone else can understand June’s emotional needs better than me, who’s to say that I should even be prime anymore?
“Arin?”
June stands in front of me when I look up sharply.
A tiny frown tugs on her lips as she reaches out, palm meeting my cheek. “Where’d you go?”
Exhaling, I turn into her palm. The warmth of her skin makes her perfume brighter, sweetened syrup soothing the back of my throat.
“I was thinking about work, I’m sorry.” The lie rests heavy on my tongue as I blink. “What were you saying, Juniper?”
The frown doesn’t quite leave her face. Her thumb rubs against the edge of my beard as she glances over her shoulder, her eyes finding Seth. “We were trying to decide on a movie tonight. And I was going to get us all snacks. Do you want popcorn?”
“Popcorn is good.” I breathe in her scent one last time, my lips brushing the inner skin of her wrist, letting my nose graze the gland there as her perfume thickens. Her touch is like a hit of the best drugs in the entire world, and I hum softly, regretful to let her pull back.
Her lips lift, only a hair, before she bends down and kisses the crown of my head. My stomach flips as she bounces over to Seth, grabbing his arm. “Let’s go, then.”
The beta beams at her, and I feel hollow at their shared excitement, echoed by Bennett when June gives him the briefest peck on the lips before laughing and running out of the living room. The room suddenly feels a lot emptier.
I shift in my chair, reaching for my phone as it vibrates in my pocket.
Theo’s voice stops me. “What’s eating at you?”
I glance up, finding both Theo and Bennett’s focus on me, scrutinizing in two wildly different ways. Bennett looks pensive, brows pulled together and a tight frown on his face. Theo’s too relaxed for that — sprawled out on the couch where June left him, but his glance is cutting, like he can read my thoughts.
“What do you mean?” I brush him off as I pull my phone out.
Bennett scoffs. “You seem off.”
Theo grunts in agreement, shifting to stare at me harder, his head tilting. “Is something going on that we need to know as a pack?”
“No,” I answer him firmly, looking between the two of them. They’re annoying separately, but god , when their focus combines, it’s maddening. Bennett and I don’t butt heads like Theo and I do. The give and take has always been a careful coexistence — at least until June entered the picture.
Now I’m not sure where the three of us stand.
“Is it work?”
“Is it June?”
They ask two questions at the same time.
I rub my nose, pushing my glasses askew as I grumble and close my eyes. Bennett would jump to assume that my mind is on work — I said as much. While Theo manages to worm to the heart of the issue, as always.
A part of me, content to wait, no matter how long it takes, settles. I do want to be here for June, but in the weeks she’s lived with us, her energy and attention have been spent with everyone else.
My chest pangs.
I told her frankly that I loved her — and she said it back. I don’t regret it, and I’m trying not to be hurt. She needed to hear it both the day she burst into my office, and then again before the dinner. It doesn’t make it any easier to know that her time is being spent in Bennett, Seth, and Theo’s beds. Maybe the kind of love she gave back to me wasn’t the same as the love in my heart. Maybe it’s more akin to the yearning to have someone in your life — not being the center of their world.
Maybe I’ve pushed her too much.
I don’t know how to reconcile it. I want her to be the center of my everything. Yet, somehow, I find myself standing at the edges of my own pack — looking in at the rest of them developing, loving, and being with each other.
“Hey,” Theo barks, throwing a pillow at me.
It hits me in the side of the head and I snarl, whirling on him. “ What? What could you possibly need from me?”
One of his eyebrows arches. “Damn, don’t rip my throat out.”
“You zoned out again,” Bennett supplies.
My eye twitches.
Readjusting my glasses, I throw the pillow onto the floor. My skin feels tight, my heart constricting in my chest. Maybe this is what it means to be a prime — taking whatever the fuck I can get — as long as everyone else is happy.
“Bennett, we’re out of peanut butter cups —” June whines as she walks through the archway, arms laden with multi-colored bags of candy.
Seth nearly bumps into her when she stops short. Her eyes flicker from Theo to Bennett before they narrow on me. My heart stops when she inhales, then whips around to Bennett.
“Hold these.” She dumps the candy into his lap and strides across the room.
I want to run . She’s fucking terrifying when her laser focus is on me . My phone vibrates in my hand and June’s eyes dart to it before becoming slits. “Don’t you dare answer that.”
I freeze as Theo guffaws.
A snarl rises in my throat that June cuts off as she fists my shirt and drags me up. I follow her mindlessly, around the chair and to the back hallway. The sounds of the living room fade when the double doors shut behind us.
Extracting myself, I shove my phone back into my pocket as I stop in front of the door to Seth’s office.
“Why do you smell like that?” June’s question draws my gaze. Fading light streams in from the wall of windows looking out at the front of the property. Her face pinches as she touches my chest. “Are you stressed? Is something wrong?”
Swallowing, I clear my throat. “It’s nothing — just work.” I ease her hand off, making it easier to think. Her close proximity is still dizzying, a twisted sweetness that invades my soul as I’m thrown back to London. Memories of her sweet body against mine, soft whines at dinner when I’d pushed her against the table and snuck my hand up her skirt.
Has she ever wanted me? Or did she just go along with it because that was expected?
June’s head tips as she shrinks back, curling her arms around herself. “You don’t have to tell me.” Her soft voice twinges with hurt and I refocus on her.
God damn it .
I can’t do anything bloody right.
“But I’m worried.” She licks her lips, and I just stare at her. Golden light cascades over the side of her face, highlighting the red in her hair, catching on her long lashes and soft, round features. She’s a fucking piece of art — even in a pair of leggings and one of Theo’s old shirts. I can see the raised bite on her throat from Bennett, her hair swept up into a messy pile at the top of her head. Even though she’s spent time with Theo, they’ve not bonded. Maybe it’s not been the right time, but it has to be coming sooner rather than later. Then I’ll be the only one left —
“Arin Mohan.” June steps closer, but she doesn’t reach for me again. “Where do you keep going in that head of yours?”
My hand rises, and I adjust a strand of her hair, pushing it behind the curve of her ear. I shouldn’t — this should stay at the pace she wants it to be at — but god I want to drop to my knees and beg her to love me in the same way she seems to love everyone else.
Her eyes dart over my face, like she’s reading the urge from the pages of one of her books. Her lips thin as she whispers, “No running, remember?”
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. I pull my hand back, but she catches it, threading our fingers together as my head hangs, defeated.
No running .
June squeezes my hand, then leans up to kiss my cheek, her nose against my skin as she murmurs, “I’ll be here when you’re ready. You’ve been patient with me, I can be patient with you.” As she pulls back, her gentle eyes catch mine, offering the ghost of a smile as she leads us back into the living room where a movie is already paused on the TV.
She takes me back to my chair, leaving me to resume lying on top of Theo. He leans in and whispers something in her ear, which makes her shake her head, running her fingers over his face before his hands smooth over her curved form. Theo kisses the side of her temple.
Seth clears his throat. “We good?”
“Yes,” June confirms. “Start the movie.”
He unpauses it as I fish my phone back out, glancing down at a series of texts from Charles. Our security system has been on the fritz since June moved in — randomly alerting when nothing is on the monitors. We’ve never had this issue before, and I feel like I need to switch the company we use — the house needs to be monitored when we’re all traveling, or preoccupied with June’s next heat.
Rubbing the bridge of my nose again, I resolve to call the company and see what’s going on this week. I can at least do that , even if I can’t seem to do anything else correctly.