Chapter 29 – June
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
JUNE
The steam smears on the mirror as I wipe it away with the side of my hand. Bare under the lights of the bathroom, I see the silver marks on me — my neck, the bite on the side of my breast, and the glimpse of the one between my thighs.
But it’s the thin, red line on my arm that makes my heart stop.
I didn’t need stitches, but it’s still taken almost a month for the skin to stop looking angry and inflamed. I’ve gotten multiple shots to ward off infection from the dirty scalpel. I can’t close my eyes for more than two seconds before I remember the way the alpha touched me, my stomach churning with the smell of chemicals.
Stepping away from the mirror, I look away from my reflection — haunted eyes, pale skin.
One of Theo’s sweatshirts lays on my bed, waiting for me. The sheets are pulled up, which means Bennett made the bed before he and Seth slipped out of the room. Someone has been with me almost every single second of every day since that night.
I’ve nearly gone to the nest a few times, but I don’t want this to be the first memory I have of spending time there with my alphas.
Tugging Theo’s clothes on, I leave my wet hair to drip as I wander downstairs with my arms around myself. Noise draws me to the kitchen, where Bennett stands behind the island, apron slung around his neck and hips, chopping vegetables. Seth leans against the fridge, smiling softly at our alpha, while Theo and Arin chat off to the side.
Bennett looks up at me first. “There she is.”
Theo smiles gently. “You found the sweatshirt.” He comes over, pushing my wet hair back just to kiss my forehead. “Let me braid your hair for you, June.” His touch soothes the simmer of anxiety under my skin as I turn into him, nodding. Theo snaps his fingers at Seth. “Scrunchie.”
Seth groans, but shakes his hair out, grabbing the tie from it and flinging it at us. A laugh catches in my throat when it hits Theo right in the face. My alpha glances down at me, arching an eyebrow. “Is that funny? Your brat of a beta hitting me in the face with a scrunchie?”
My lips twitch as he grabs me by the hips, fingers dancing along my sides. Laughing, I let out a little shriek, squirming away from him, fighting as he jerks me against his chest, kissing my jaw and muttering, “Let’s go to the library.”
Melting into him, I let him drag me out of the kitchen and into the library. The large room already has a fire crackling. He pulls me down onto one of the couches, bending over me. Theo’s hands slide over my hips as he kisses my jaw, voice gentle. “How was your shower, baby?”
Flushing, my heart flutters as I cup his face, pulling him to me so I can kiss him gently, our noses brushing. “Good.” It was nice to have a few moments to myself, but it doesn’t take long for the remnants of memories to creep back in. Theo’s lips touch mine before he pulls me up, readjusting us so I’m between his legs, back to his chest as his fingers card through my hair, untangling it.
“Let me take care of this.” He shifts, scrunchie on his wrist as he pulls the strands back.
“Thank you.” My heart tugs as I stare at the fire.
Theo kisses my shoulder from behind. “I’ll always take care of you.” As he starts to braid, he speaks. “I thought we could redecorate your office soon. If you’re feeling up to it?”
I chew on my lower lip, nodding slightly, not wanting to disrupt his work. “Yeah, we can.” Closing my eyes, I lean back into him. “I’m still tired, but it’s over. I need to keep moving forward.”
“You’re right, it is over, but you’re allowed to take as much time as you need.” Theo pauses and his fingers hesitate. “That night… we were really lucky that Seth had someone to call. We didn’t waste a second, and I’m very grateful for that.”
I’m grateful too . Grateful for their urgency, their love, their part in my life, and bonds in my heart.
I don’t have the full story from Seth, but what he has said rocked me to my core. His cousin — Gabriel — oversees an entire criminal organization and Seth was once a part of it . It’s not a story my beta seemed ready to tell, and maybe it isn’t entirely his to share.
Theo finishes braiding my hair and I turn, crawling into his lap to burrow into him.
The door to the library opens and I don’t move as I press a kiss to Theo’s throat, his hands sliding up my back, under the sweatshirt. The smell of mint surrounds us as another hand touches my head, grazing the braid. Arin takes a seat at the other end of the couch, brown eyes reflective when I pull back enough to look at him.
“I thought you two were resting before lunch.”
Theo snorts, fingers exploring my skin, edging on indecent. “I’m trying to convince her to let me help her fix up that sad, empty office.”
I turn my head, rolling my eyes. “The office is fine —”
“You need more than one old desk and that god-awful chair. Let me buy you pretty things, princess. I’ll get you whatever you want. I’ll even buy you a new computer if you want one —”
Arin’s lips twitch as he reaches for a discarded book on the coffee table. He picks it up, then flips to the first page. His accent fills the room as he silences our argument by beginning to read aloud. I huff, but it does the job of making my eyes heavier as I curl up against Theo, using him as a giant pillow.
I doze in and out, only rousing when Bennett and Seth enter the room, bringing with them the smell of Bennett’s risotto. He places bowls on the coffee table, giving me a sheepish look. “Sorry, darling, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Rubbing my eyes with a grumble, I pull away from Theo, feeling flushed and fidgety. “It’s okay, I’m hungry and I need to talk to all of you.”
The room is quiet as I look at Arin. Bennett and Seth crash onto the couch across from us and I pick up a bowl of food so I have something to hold as I twist the spoon, trying to find the right words. I’ve had a lot of time to think since everything happened — a lot of time to ruminate and roll over the options in my mind.
Worry tinges my bonds.
“I want to get my birth control implant removed.”
Arin jolts, his hand coming to rest on my knee. “June —”
“Please, let me finish.” I stare at him, sucking in a breath. Despite being strapped to that fucking table by that alpha, it’s been a long time coming. All I can think about is my life in the next year, in the next five years, of embracing both being an omega and my own limitations. I’m so tired of feeling like I should be pushing aside every single one of my personal boundaries because I want to make others more comfortable.
From agreeing to signings that I can’t even comprehend attending to the interview requests that have come in, hoping they can milk my pack and I for a few minutes of air time. I don’t want to be the face of any kind of late-emerging omega rights movement. I will do my part in the ways that I can, but not at the expense of my own peace of mind.
And I’ve been learning about my designation. I want to work with it, instead of constantly fighting it.
Arin nods and I cling to the bowl.
“I don’t want kids.” Reiterating my stance, I eye each of the men around me. “But everything that I’ve researched says that the hormones from the implant make heat symptoms worse. There’s a lot of newer research suggesting that omega bodies function better when heat cycles are uninterrupted — I don’t want a repeat of how I felt in London for my second heat.”
Seth’s eyes soften. “You really struggled.”
“I felt awful . I didn’t even feel like myself —”
“Remove it,” Arin says, catching my eyes. “We will find other solutions for birth control.”
Theo’s hand brushes my back. “I’ve had a vasectomy for years. There are alpha doctors who will make sure it never reconnects unless it’s surgically done, even during a rut.”
My heart pangs as I look at Arin, Bennett, and Seth. “I just don’t want to take that choice away from any of you — if you want —”
Bennett shakes his head, holding up a hand. “Stop.” After a moment, he pinches his nose. “I have to be honest. I forgot pregnancy was a risk.”
A laugh of pure surprise cracks out of me as Seth shrugs. “It’s not like he was going to knock me up.”
Theo snorts as I flounder. “So that’s it?”
Arin smiles. “That’s it. One IUD removal, three vasectomies. Though, I now regret not getting one years ago when Theo did.”
Theo’s chest puffs. “I told you it was worth it.”
“Will you take care of me when my balls hurt, baby?” Seth grabs his own food, giving me a salacious look. “Maybe massage them?”
“No.” His jaw drops as I take a bite and hum softly at the burst of flavors. Bennett really is the best cook. “But the sooner you get it, the sooner we can spend my next heat here — at home .”
Arin stills at the other end of the couch. “I’ll make the calls.”
A smile tugs at my lips as I look at my pack, eyes landing on my prime. “Pencil me into your busy schedule when you’re healed, alpha.”