Chapter 39
I’m discussing different teams’ playoff prospects with Dean Garner when I hear a voice I absolutely did not expect to hear here.
“Flynn Parks? Is that you?”
I turn around to face Lloyd Clarke, setting down my drink so I can shake his hand. “Mr. Clarke. I mean, Lloyd. How are you?”
“I’m excellent.” He glances around the crowded room. “Beautiful wedding.”
Lloyd is wearing a suit tonight. Aside from that detail, he looks as at ease and assured as he did at his office.
“I’m going to grab a refill,” Dean says, taking his empty glass.
I nod at him before refocusing on Lloyd.
“Sorry to interrupt,” he tells me, taking Dean’s place across from me. “I wasn’t expecting to see my new attorney here.”
“You know the Kensingtons?” I ask.
“Not well. My ex-wife is British. Our son was at school with Charlie for a time.”
“Oh. Is your son here too?”
“Ah, no.” He glances down at the table. “August passed away eight years ago.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Lloyd nods. “I appreciate that. You were entirely correct when you said my company means everything to me. I used to have a separate family. Not anymore.”
“Do you still spend time in England?”
“Only for work. Lots of difficult memories there. August was an addict. It was a long road of trying to get treatment before he—until it didn’t matter.”
I nod. “I know how—a friend in college overdosed freshman year. I saw … he’d never used before, and then suddenly, it overtook his whole life. Took his life.”
Lloyd’s nod is knowing, his smile sad. “My son became unrecognizable. It’s not—it’s difficult to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced …” He clears his throat. “I have a sense of how challenging that must have been.”
“I think about it every day.” I reach for my glass, swallowing a sip of scotch.
“I’m even more impressed. You graduated college despite those circumstances. Went to law school.”
I wouldn’t have done either if not for my father. Maybe that’s why Julian has never used the word impressed in relation to me.
“Plenty of people accomplish both despite larger obstacles. But it did affect me. I’m working on a foundation in his memory. To try to help other people—particularly students—dealing with similar struggles.”
“That’s a fantastic idea,” Lloyd says. “What stage are your plans at?”
“I’ve had the idea for a long time. Most of the paperwork is taken care of. It’s mainly the financial aspect that’s holding things up. I was intending to self-fund most operations to start, but that’s a significant investment to pull together.”
“I’m done, Dad.”
I don’t regret saying it. For me. In the grander scheme of what I intended to do with the trust fund that had my name on it? Those hasty words cost me a lot more than the dollar amount in that account.
“Give my office a call next week,” Lloyd says. “I’d love to discuss more details. See if I can assist in some way.”
“I will. Thank you, Lloyd.”
“You’re here on the Kensington side, I presume?”
“Yeah. I’ve been friends with Lili’s brother for a long time. And … I’m dating her cousin.”
There was no need for me to add that last bit. Yet I did anyway.
“That’s wonderful.” Lloyd checks his watch. “I’d better go find the bride and groom and head out. I have an early morning. We’ll talk soon?”
“We will.”
We shake hands again, and then Lloyd disappears into the crowd. I spot Dean caught up in conversation at the bar, so I continue searching the room for Rory. I find her left of the stage, where the band is performing, talking to Charlie’s best man, Finnegan Byrne.
I’m irritated as I approach them, which annoys me.
I’m not this guy—unsure and insecure. I panicked last night when I was included in the family photo because no part of that felt pretend.
If I’m being entirely honest, that was true long before Scarlett suggested I stand beside Rory.
I’m not fighting fake jealousy in response to how the Irish guy is making her laugh—that’s for damn sure.
I’ve basically told Rory I’m disastrous at relationships and that I’ve ruled out having kids. Why would she see me as anything more than a roommate she has sex with? As anyone except a reset between her ex and the guy she’ll actually end up with?
Fig sees me coming, departing with a cheeky wave that makes me like him a little more. And I wonder how green my face is.
Rory turns to see who he was waving at, smiling when she sees me. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I reply, eyes trailing down to the hint of cleavage shown off by her gold dress. Hers is a few shades darker than the matching bridesmaids’ ones. “Want to dance, Florence?”
“Sure.” Her smile is shy and sweet and subtle as she takes my hand. Acting like we’re on a first date, not that I saw her put this dress on after we had sex for an hour this morning.
We find an open spot on the dance floor.
“Sort of strange, not being the only ones dancing,” she comments.
I smile. Last time I was at Atlantic Crest Country Club, where Lili and Charlie are having their reception, was when we announced our relationship to her family. That feels like a long time ago.
“I could get up onstage and suggest everyone else sit down?”
Her grip tightens on my hand and shoulder, like she could physically restrain me. “Don’t you dare.”
We sway in silence for a bit.
“My grandfather really likes you.”
“Which one? Arthur suggested we golf sometime.”
“He did?”
“Yep. I said I would if he let me drive the cart.”
“Was that a deal-breaker?”
“Surprisingly, no.”
She laughs.
Sudden panic seizes my chest. Fear that jokes and sex are all she wants from me.
That she’ll never view me as anything more than the shallow playboy she’s mostly known me as.
That if I asked her out, for real, she’d react the same way she did when I first suggested we fake date.
Or, in a more typically Rory response, reasonably explain the many reasons why I’m completely wrong for her.
“Did you think about kissing me at Kit’s party?”
She blinks rapidly in response to the random question. “What party?”
“You know what party.”
If she doesn’t, then this really is all in my head.
Rory swallows.
“Never mind.”
“No, I—you just surprised me. Yeah, I thought about it. Other times too. I was mad at Carson that night, but we were technically together. I couldn’t cheat. I don’t try to be so uptight. I just … am.”
“I don’t think you’re uptight.”
She scoffs. “Yes, you do.”
“No, I don’t. You adapt. You challenge. You’re adventurous.”
Pink floods her cheeks. “I’m only like that with you. You make people relaxed, put them at ease. It makes you an excellent lawyer. And … person.”
I shake my head. “Sorry, it’s noisy in here. Can you say that again? Louder?”
Rory rolls her eyes. “This is why I never compliment you.”
“You compliment me all the time,” I tease. “Just not about personality traits.”
Rory doesn’t argue with that. She blushes some more.
“How many other times?”
“Huh?”
I see the uncertainty on her face. The hint of embarrassment. She’s being obtuse on purpose.
“How many other times did you think about kissing me?”
“I didn’t, like, keep exact track.” Her hand briefly tightens around mine before her grip relaxes. “It was a random thought sometimes—you asked!”
She’s flustered, and it’s adorable.
“More than a hundred?”
“Definitely not.”
“Hmm.” I pretend to think. “More than—”
“Did you think about it?” she interrupts.
“About kissing you that night or about fucking you better than Calvin did in college? Actually, doesn’t matter. Yes.”
Her jaw literally drops. “You eavesdropped on a private conversation with my sister?”
“I happened to hear you talking about your first time on my way back from fetching drinks, yeah. Sue me for being curious.”
“I will,” Rory retorts. “Emotional distress.”
“Mine wasn’t great either, if it makes you feel any better.”
“It doesn’t because I know you’re lying.”
I arch an eyebrow. “Do you?”
“Girls talk, Flynn. Brooke St. Clair told everyone it was incredible.”
Logically, I knew that Rory attended the same school—schools—that I did.
And that I fooled around with classmates of hers in high school.
But it did not occur to me before now that Rory had heard those details.
Maybe because she took academics so much more seriously than I did.
She went to Dalton to learn and achieve, not to gossip.
“I didn’t, uh, realize you’d heard that.”
“Hard not to,” she says in a way that suggests she heard about other girls too.
I’m not ashamed of my past. But I’ve taken it to extremes I’m not proud of, especially during my dark spiral after Penn’s death.
I was living like he didn’t get to—because if you think about how you could also die any day, it’s pretty fucking easy to not care about exams or papers or attending classes.
To make the most of every moment—until it reaches the point of your own detriment and you’re facing probation or expulsion unless your rich, well-connected father makes some phone calls.
The song ends, and Rory’s hand drops from my shoulder. “I could use some water.”
“I’ll grab you some.”
“I left some at our table.”
The last thing I feel like doing is walking over there.
Collins and Kit were seated next to us. Kit knows me well enough to tell I’m out of sorts about something, and I don’t want him speculating what that might be.
But I have no excuse for why I wouldn’t want to hang out with my best friend, so I follow Rory in that direction.
Kit grins when he spots us approaching. “Hey, party people!”
Collins smiles, waves, then yawns.
I clap Kit on the shoulder before taking a seat. “You guys made it to midnight. Nice work.”
This morning, while we were all getting ready, Kit and Collins were both bemoaning a lack of sleep. I guess Dylan was especially fussy, being away from home. There was also something about a stuffed bear being missing.
Kit groans, checking his watch. “It’s 12:05. Which means Dylan will be awake in about …”
“Four hours and fifty-five minutes,” Collins supplies with a wry smile.