Chapter 44
Perry walks into the sports bar, wearing a sweater and jeans. I’m still in the navy suit I put on this morning for the post-wedding brunch. Since getting dressed, I’ve gotten engaged, and it sort of feels like I got dumped as well.
“Hey.” Perry hovers by the stool beside mine. “Thought you’d changed your mind about this.”
“Work’s been busy.”
He takes a seat. “Heard you landed the Clarke Infrastructure account. Congrats.”
Clarke Infrastructure reminds me of Lloyd Clarke, which reminds me of our conversation last night, which is—I think—the reason Rory announced our engagement so abruptly earlier.
She had realized what I wanted the money for and was trying to get me it as soon as possible.
Or she just got tired of pretending to be with me.
Maybe her conversation with Knox was what had sparked that urgency.
“Thanks.” I tilt my glass at him before draining the inch of scotch left.
The brunette bartender comes over to take Perry’s order. He orders a beer, which surprises me. I’ve only ever seen him drink water before. It was probably insensitive to invite him to a bar, but I’m not known for consideration. I don’t know what I’m known for. I’ve squandered so many opportunities.
After grabbing Perry his beer, the bartender asks if I want anything else.
I request a refill, avoiding the view her low-cut top offers.
She’s flirted repeatedly since I arrived an hour ago, and I don’t care.
I don’t feel any compulsion to flirt back, to make her laugh or smile, much less touch her.
I can’t remember when I felt that compulsion last.
“You been here before?” Perry asks, glancing around the bar.
“Yeah. I come here a lot. They do pints half off on nights the Yankees play.”
Perry’s eyebrows rise before he sips his beer. “I wouldn’t have thought that was a selling point for you.”
Because I’m rich, he means.
“My dad cut me off. Well, I cut him off because he kept threatening to cut me off. But, yeah, I’m living off my salary, same as you.”
“Minus the student loan payments.”
“Minus the student loan payments,” I acknowledge.
“That’s big … with your dad. You guys always seemed … analogous.”
I snort. “You serious?”
“Well, yeah. You golf and drink scotch and go to fancy parties.”
“We argue all the time. I’m a perennial disappointment to Julian. He thinks I’m a hapless idiot who would be nowhere without his money.”
Perry appears genuinely surprised. “It’s never seemed that way to me.
Yeah, he’s a little image-obsessed, but he talks about you all the time.
You were lacrosse captain, you aced the SATs, you went backpacking across Europe, you graduated summa cum laude from law school, you got hired by Locke, Grey, and Lee.
I don’t know any of that because you told me. ”
I swallow more scotch. “He’s bragging. He pays selective attention to what might make him look like a good father.”
“Maybe. But you brag about things you’re proud of. And he has to pay attention to everything to be selective.”
“You’re defending him?”
“My dad hates that I moved to New York. He told me law school was a waste of time and money, that there were a dozen other careers that were more fulfilling and less status-centered. My parents argued up until the day they got divorced, but my dad only moved a block away and still goes over there every weekend to mow the grass. Won’t admit he messed up or move on.
My dad isn’t perfect. Julian isn’t perfect. ” Perry shrugs. “Who is?”
I’m totally taken aback. I figured I’d offered Perry a prime opportunity to rag on my father, who’s always treated him with stiff politeness that heavily influenced my own aloof treatment of my cousin. I also had no idea about any of what he just shared, aside from his parents’ divorce.
“So, you think I should unblock him?”
“You blocked him?” Perry smiles. “I figured you meant cutting him off in a less literal sense.”
“Nope. Very literal.”
“What made you decide to do that? Based on what you’re saying, it sounds like it’s been contentious for a while.”
“I, uh …” It sounds stupid when I say it aloud, but I tell him the truth. “I was mad he didn’t show up for a dinner with Rory. He said we’d reschedule, if we were still together, and I … snapped. Dating her was supposed to …”
Perry waits while I sip more scotch, then asks, “Was supposed to what?”
I sigh. “I was supposed to get my trust fund at twenty-two. Then my dad changed it to after I went to law school. Then he changed it to after I got engaged. He doesn’t owe me the money—it’s his.
But he’d told me, over and over again, that I’d get it.
I made plans predicated on receiving it.
So, I asked Rory to pretend to be my fiancée.
Except I told my dad to fuck off before we got to that stage.
And I didn’t tell Rory there was no money anymore until after she told her entire family we were getting married. ”
“Shit. That’s …”
“Insane? Absurd? Messy?”
“Pretty much,” he agrees.
“Yeah.” I finish my glass again.
“What are you going to do?”
“About my dad?”
“About Rory.”
“Oh. I—we’re going to announce we broke up in about a month. I might move to Boston.”
“Why?”
“The firm has some openings there and—”
“No. Why are you and Rory breaking up?”
I stare at him. “Did you not hear me? We were pretending to date. This was the plan all along.”
“So, you’re not in love with her?”
I start coughing. Reach for my glass, realize it’s empty, and beckon the bartender back over.
Perry is still waiting expectantly once I clear my throat and have a full glass.
“Of course I’m not.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure,” I say irritably. “You had one dinner with us, months ago. I don’t know why you would even think that.”
“Does Kit know it was pretend? Or Oliver?”
I shift uncomfortably on the stool. “No.”
“You’re right; I don’t know you or Rory very well. But I do find it interesting that people who do know you well—who’ve presumably seen you both date other people—believe it’s real between you two.”
“They wouldn’t think Rory would lie to them. She’s too principled.”
“But she is lying—for you. Have you thought about why?”
“I-I talked her into it. Her ex was a douchebag who never deserved her. Everyone was talking about their breakup, so I convinced her us dating would change the narrative. She’s considerate. Selfless.”
“She also likes you.”
“No. She’s never—I mean, she might like me a little. Now. At least before today. But she’s always avoided—we’ve never gotten along. I’m Kit’s immature, irritating best friend. Her type is nothing like me.”
“Okay.” Perry sips some beer.
“Seriously, it would never work between us. I’m bad with commitment. I don’t cheat—I’d never cheat—but I get this claustrophobic, panicked feeling, like I’m in a room and the walls are collapsing.”
“That’s how you feel around Rory?”
“Well, no. It’s never happened with her. But it’s fake, Perry.”
“So, it doesn’t bother you when other guys hit on her?”
I could say no. He has no way of knowing the truth. But all I can think about is watching her and Knox walk back from the beach together—the same beach where we had almost kissed three years ago—and how realizing she’d left me in bed to talk to him landed like a kick to the chest.
Knox wants her, and he isn’t waiting for me to get out of the way. Maybe he will now that he thinks we’re engaged, but I’m betting he’ll show up again as soon as he hears she’s single. It’s the persistence Rory deserves—the dedication and loyalty she displays toward everyone she cares about.
“I’m going to take that murderous look on your face as a yes,” Perry comments.
“Everyone thinks we’re together,” I bite out. “It’s disrespectful.”
He shakes his head, then swigs more beer.
“Plus, I’ve known her forever. Literally, we were in elementary school when we met. It’s normal I’d feel protective.”
“I’m not arguing, Flynn. So, who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?”
Him. Because I can’t convince myself. Because I’ve been there all the times I defended Rory, long before I was expected to. Because I despised Carson long before he cheated because he was bland and predictable, but mostly because Rory smiled when she saw him and pursed her lips when she saw me.
I sigh. “Fuck.”
Perry pats my shoulder. A little awkwardly, but I appreciate the sentiment. He probably thought he was showing up for fifteen minutes of small talk, and instead, this has practically turned into a therapy session.
“You’re engaged to a girl you’re in love with,” he comments. “Could be worse.”
“Unless she still sees me as her cousin’s immature, irritating best friend.”
“Only one way to find out. And I’ve never seen you take no for an answer when it’s something you want. Honestly, I feel badly for her, having to deal with your persistence.”
I grin for the first time all day. I spent all morning with a fake smile pasted on my face, so my cheeks are sore. “Thanks, Perry.”
“You would have figured it out on your own.”
I would have. But it might have been too late to change Rory’s mind. It might already be too late, but at least I’ll know I’ve done everything I could to fix it.
“So, what’s new with you?” I ask.
“Well, Macie and I aren’t actually together. We’re undercover agents, trying to infiltrate a criminal organization.”
I roll my eyes, but I’m still grinning. “Shut up, or I’ll stop sharing.”
“You mean, how’s it been our entire lives?”
Perry’s kidding, but he’s also not.
“Yeah.” I exhale. “Sorry about that.”
“I could have made more of an effort too.” He lifts his bottle, tilting it toward me. “Cousins?”
“Cousins,” I agree, tapping it.
We both drink, and then Perry starts telling me about a trip he’s planning for him and Macie.