Chapter Twenty-One
West
Un-fucking-believable.
My eyes burn. I swear I haven’t blinked in twenty minutes, because I can’t stop staring at the image of Seth’s arms around my fucking wife.
The phone creaks from the tension when I squeeze, wanting to crush the hell out of it because an already shitty day just got a hell of a lot worse. I study the pic again, how he’s gripping her waist, how she’s letting him…
It stings knowing how badly I wanted her at my appointment today. Guess I know why she couldn’t make it.
She had better things to do.
“Fuck!”
My voice is still echoing off the vaulted ceiling when Grandpa walks into the living room. I feel him staring as my entire body vibrates with rage.
As much as I want to put this all on Blue, it’s on me. It’s my own fucking fault.
I’m the reason for the distance, the reason she let that asshole get close.
My fists tighten, and Grandpa’s eyes are still on me as I grab my keys and phone from the coffee table, heading straight for the door.
“I’m not sure what happened, but you should calm down before you leave. It’s dangerous to drive when you’re so angry.”
“I’ll be fine. Be back in a few.”
I don’t wait for his response as the door slams behind me.
The next second, I’m in my truck, speeding down the driveway, narrowly missing the gate as it slowly opens.
I barely check for traffic before pulling out onto the street.
I’m driving on autopilot to Hunter’s, going over what I’ll say to Blue when I get there.
But by the time I pull up to the apartment building and take the stairs to Hunter’s, I’ve adopted more of a fuck it attitude.
My fist slams against the door. No one answers, so I pound it again, feeling heat creeping up my neck to my face.
The lock clicks, and the second the deadbolt unlatches, I push my way inside without thinking.
“Where is she?”
Hunter stumbles, catching his balance on the wall. “What the fuck?”
I ignore him and storm through his living room, into his kitchen, doubling back when I don’t see Blue. I checked her location, so I know she’s here. As I think the words, she comes bounding out of the bedroom, still wearing that short-ass dress from the pic.
“West, what the hell are you doing?”
She looks pissed that I forced my way in, but no way she’s more pissed than I am right now.
I can’t even form words, so I show her my phone instead, Pandora’s fucking post about her and Seth.
The room is unnervingly quiet, and I’m trying not to lose my shit.
“Need me to stick around?” Hunter grits out.
Blue’s gaze shifts toward him, and only now does it register that he’s in uniform, holding a bag, clearly heading out for work. I glance toward him, and his eyes are locked in my direction, like he isn’t sure he should leave his sister with me.
I should be offended, but I’m too mad to give a fuck what he thinks of me right now. If he doesn’t recognize a desperate man when he sees one, that’s not my fucking problem.
“No,” Blue sighs, answering his question. “I’m fine. Thanks.”
Even with Blue’s blessing, Hunter lingers a few seconds, giving me a look that I’m guessing means he’ll beat my ass if I step out of line.
“Call if you need me. I don’t mind turning around and coming back,” he says.
Normally, I’d appreciate his protectiveness, but today it annoys me.
He can probably tell as much when I glare in his direction, nostrils flaring as I fight to keep my composure.
He doesn’t back down, but he does eventually leave, keeping his eyes trained on me until the second the door latches closed.
And when it does, Blue starts in on me, giving me shit. Like I’m the one who got caught up.
“Are you insane? You can’t just barge into someone else’s home like this, West!”
“Fuck that. I’ve got a right to be here, because you’re my fucking wife.”
On second thought, maybe she’s forgotten that.
She scoffs and drops down onto the sofa, and I take a step back, angry, searching for words.
“I waited for you,” I admit, breathing erratically.
“I sat in that fucking office today, staring at the door, thinking you’d put all our shit aside and just…
walk in. Because you knew it’d be hard as hell.
Because even when shit’s bad, we’re still us at our core.
Still in each other’s corner. Then, I see this. ”
The anger is alive and well, but a new emotion suddenly feels more powerful.
Sadness.
I feel like a fucking idiot.
For putting her on a pedestal, for thinking she’d be there.
For letting her get away.
“West, it… that picture isn’t what it looks like,” she breathes, and my gaze lifts from the carpet to meet hers.
“You sure? Because it looks like Seth has his fucking hands on you.”
Frustrated, she sighs as her eyes slam shut. “Yes, he hugged me, but the… the context is all wrong.”
I want to fly off the handle again, but I hold back, staring as she thinks.
“I was on my way to your appointment, but I got a call. There was trouble at the center.”
She swipes a tear and, fuck me… my chest tightens.
“An inspector showed up unexpectedly, threatening to shut us down if we don’t bring a bunch of electrical stuff up to code,” she says. “Honestly, I don’t remember half of what he called out because I was so distraught, but… it was bad. Really bad.”
I can’t stop staring at her, seeing her as that teenage girl I fell head over heels for. After months of giving her hell, of course. But even through the bad we endured in the beginning, I loved her.
Despite myself… I loved her.
“I was almost to your appointment when I had to turn around to get to the center.”
There’s a strange feeling in my gut when she says this. Maybe because I’d convinced myself she didn’t care.
“I—I started to call and explain, but we haven’t really spoken, so it felt… weird, I guess? But I need you to know I was coming to you, West.” She swipes tears from her cheeks. “I wouldn’t have let you go through that alone.”
The next second, without further explanation, I’m on the couch next to her, holding her to my chest. Her arms slip around my waist, and I close my eyes, soaking in the feel of her being so close.
I missed this.
So fucking much.
“And I’m sorry you had to see that picture,” she sniffles. “I should’ve called and explained, but I thought you’d know it wasn’t what Pandora was making it out to be.”
“Don’t apologize. You’re right. I should’ve known.”
And I should’ve.
Only, my emotions have gotten the best of me lately, I’m tense all the time, ready to snap at the smallest things.
“I was standing outside the center, having a moment because I was just so… overwhelmed,” she says. “I think Seth was trying to be helpful, but he just kind of… overstepped.”
I don’t respond, because I’m feeling pretty stupid right now, thinking for one second that she’d act so out of character, because my girl’s loyal.
“If he tries anything else, I’ll handle it.”
“No,” I cut in. “If that piece of shit tries anything else, I’ll handle it.”
She peers up with a weak smile but doesn’t speak.
Seth’s been on my radar since I first laid eyes on him. And the fact that Scar’s noticed him eyeing Blue for herself, I feel validated. Sure, I’m a jealous asshole who turns into a caveman when it comes to my wife, but with him, my frustration is completely warranted.
I hate that Seth’s clouding my mind while I’m holding Blue. These moments are so few and far between these days, I want to savor it, commit it to memory because I don’t know when I’ll get the chance again.
My chest tightens. I’m over this—being apart, not knowing if it’s okay to touch and hold her when I want to. But I can’t focus on that.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into her hair, tilting her head back to kiss her forehead.
She breathes deep, her blue stare moving down my face, stopping at my lips. I’m taking in air at twice the normal rate, because I can’t be trusted around this girl.
Never could be.
But I messed things up so badly last time, I can’t let it happen again. I can’t let her think I think sex will fix us.
Can’t let her think that’s all that’s left of us.
But she sits straighter, placing both her hands against my chest, and then… she kisses me.
Her lips are soft and hot against mine, then her tongue pushes into my mouth so fucking slow.
And just like that, I’m hard as a brick, feeling my dick pulse against my zipper. She moves down to my neck, sucking my throat as my heart races.
I didn’t come here for this, and I need her to know that, so I place a hand on her shoulder, forcing space between us. She stares, and I’m not sure how I had the strength to stop her, but that’s how deep the need runs.
The need for this woman to know that, as much as I love her fucking body… her heart will always be the most important thing.
“I should go. I know you need space, and—”
“Does this feel like I want space right now?” The question comes as she pushes me back onto the couch, lifting my shirt to kiss her way down my chest and stomach.
Then, when she reaches my belt and unbuckles it, my head falls back.
The sound of my zipper lowering fills the air, and I stare at the ceiling, letting out the deepest breath I’ve ever released as she angles my dick toward her mouth and sucks me in.
Hot.
Wet.
How the fuck did we even get here?
I was so pissed the entire drive over. Now, she’s got my senses completely scrambled as she sucks the tip of my cock soft, pausing every so often to twist her tongue around it. I’ve been so in my head, I haven’t even bothered jacking off, so it’s no wonder I’m already so close to coming.
But I need more of her.
“Come here.”