Chapter Twenty-Eight
Blue
It was only a few hours, but it’s been so long since I’ve slept in his arms, I woke up feeling like I’d gotten a full night’s rest. Now, I’m starting my day in my own home, which feels strange after being away for so long.
The shower pressure here puts Hunter’s to shame, and it was nice getting dressed without having to dig through a duffle bag for what I need. Some of what I use for my hair and makeup are still at his place, but I scrounged up enough product from my vanity drawer and purse to make it work.
I dab on concealer, noticing that my eyes are still puffy from sobbing for the hours West was gone.
Yes, I was angry with him, but the not knowing was killing me.
Not knowing if he’d be arrested, if he was hurt, if he’d hurt Seth bad enough to land himself in real trouble.
What it boils down to is that I just… wanted my husband to be okay.
That’s all I ever want.
I had a lot of time to think over the part I played in all this. I’ve questioned whether I did the right thing coming over last night to tell West what happened. But in every way I’ve spun the possibilities, telling him right away was for the best.
Even if things went bad shortly thereafter.
At the thought of the lies Seth told, my stomach turns.
I can’t imagine what must’ve gone through West’s mind hearing them.
At first, I was livid he even let Seth get in his head, but now that the haze of anger has cleared, I can’t help but sympathize.
Should his response have been to beat Seth half to death?
No. But when I put myself in West’s shoes, do I understand why he lost his cool?
Yeah… I kind of do.
As I’m thinking of him, West walks into the bathroom. I peer up through the mirror’s reflection while I swipe on eyeliner, catching his gaze. I flash an awkward smile, and he smirks, which instantly has my heart racing.
“Morning,” he yawns, running a hand behind his neck as he stretches. My eyes are everywhere, not feeling an ounce of disappointment as I scan him from head to toe.
I realize a few seconds have passed, and I haven’t responded yet. “Morning.”
I give another awkward smile and clear my throat. I’m not sure what to expect as we navigate sharing one another’s space this morning. He heard me out last night, then bared his own heart. I just wish I knew what it all meant.
Wish I knew where we stood.
“Mind if I shower?”
I snap out of my thoughts and meet his gaze briefly. “No, go right ahead. I’m finishing up anyway.”
“Thanks.” He yawns again, then pulls his shirt over his head the next second. “You’re heading out already?”
His question reminds me of something he said last night. That I could leave first thing this morning if I wanted to. And while leaving before things can get too uncomfortable is probably for the best, that’s not why I’m rushing out.
“I made plans with Scar. I have to rein things in at the center now that…”
My voice trails off, and I can’t even say Seth’s name.
“Now that I’m… handling it alone. Scar volunteered to tag along for moral support.”
West nods, then slips out of his pants and boxers without a second thought. I pretend not to notice, quickly averting my eyes.
“Uh… what about you? Got any plans for today?”
“Not really,” he shrugs. “I’m not in the mood to go out in public after everything, so… I’ll probably just hang here with Grandpa.”
He turns on the shower, so I can’t see his expression to confirm, but I’m sure the mere mention of facing the public has him stressed. His back’s still to me as he walks his clothes over to the hamper, then he doubles back to the shower and hops beneath the steam.
I don’t realize I’m leaning in my seat to get a better look at him until I knock my hairbrush to the floor with my elbow. He doesn’t seem to notice as I grab it, briefly forgetting the gravity of our conversation as a thought creeps into my head.
That my husband is only getting hotter with age.
Focus, Blue.
I peek at the time on my phone, then put my things back in the drawer.
It’s time to go grab Scar and head over to the center, but I feel this strange tug in my heart at the thought of leaving.
Last night was such a rollercoaster. We were low, never quite reaching high, but as we dozed off, we were definitely somewhere in the middle.
I need to get going but slipping out like I’m doing the walk of shame in my own home doesn’t feel right. So, I ignore the tiny voice inside my head telling me to just yell goodbye and leave, choosing instead to follow my heart.
The shower door pops open, and West stops in the middle of washing his chest to stare as I hold the handle with a white-knuckled grip.
A breath hitches in my throat, and I almost lose my nerve, but before that can happen, I lean in and squeeze the back of West’s neck to pull him from under the water.
Just enough to reach his lips without getting my hair wet.
Our lips meet, and he draws a deep breath.
What’s meant to be a quick peck turns into a little more than that.
He tilts his head to the side, sucking the flavored gloss from my lips, and my tongue slips into his mouth.
My pulse thunders at the hollow of my throat, and heat builds between my legs, but last night’s sleepover isn’t supposed to lead to sex.
I pull away despite wanting so badly to get carried away with him this morning. And as he blinks down on me, I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve wanted him so badly that I’ve felt actual physical pain.
Beneath the flow of the water, I see the unmistakable shift as his body reacts to me.
And my husband being the cocky bastard he is, he doesn’t look away.
It doesn’t help that he’s engulfed in steam and looks like a being not of this world—soaked, dark hair falling over his shoulders, ink covering his chest and arms that have been carefully sculpted over the years.
I swallow deeply, then force myself to take a step back.
“I… just didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”
He doesn’t say a word, just drags a look over me as he backs under the water. The visual reminds me of an incident in high school. When a much more reactive version of myself stormed into the locker room to confront him after he left my car on bricks in the parking lot.
“I’ll um… I’ll talk to you later.”
He nods slowly, looking as flustered as I feel. But then in an instant, he’s grounded and speaking with a clear head.
“Blue…”
I pause with the shower door already halfway closed. “Yeah?”
He blinks and droplets of warm water fall from his lashes. “I love you.”
The words bypass my head completely and go straight to my heart. “I love you too.”
Of course, I do. And he knows that no matter what happens, no matter what we face, that’ll never change.
Ever.
So, slowly, fighting myself every step of the way, I close the shower door completely and leave.
As I make my way out of our bedroom and down the hallway, fear trails close behind.
What if, despite our best effort, we don’t get more mornings like this?
What if… it’s impossible to hold onto this version of us?
*
@QweenPandora:
Well, I didn’t see that one coming.
It looks like, despite #KingMidas’s royal screwup, #NewGirl was seen fleeing the scene of the crime this morning, heading toward the south side.
These two spent the entire night together, and this could mean one of two things. Either the fighting continued all through the night, and #NewGirl is just now letting up. Or… things between the king and queen heated up in an entirely different way ;)
Only these two know what really went down, but what I would’ve given to have been a fly on the wall either way…
Later, peeps :)
—P