Chapter Thirty-Six
West
Blue’s hand slips into mine after she places her coffee in the cupholder. It’s hard to keep my eyes on the road with my wife riding shotgun, but I do my best.
Two weeks ago, I wasn’t even certain my marriage would survive the month, and now here we are. Spending a lazy Saturday together, back in sync with one another, like we never broke.
I slow at the stoplight and lift her hand to my lips, kissing the back of it. She smiles, and I love this. These quiet moments where I’m reminded what a lucky guy I am.
My phone chimes, and I check it since we’re still stopped. It’s a text from Dr. Lee’s office, asking me to confirm my appointment for this Tuesday. It’ll be my last session before surgery next week, but I’m committed to getting back to it as soon as I’m cleared.
Never thought I’d say this, but I feel it working.
I’m less agitated, not so tightly wound, and I’m figuring out how to talk through the shit that used to seem too hard to deal with.
Skipping over the hard stuff didn’t end so well for me, so I’m choosing to stay the course that’s, so far, brought me peace.
“Look!”
I follow Blue’s gaze as we take off, but I frown when I see where she’s pointing. It’s just a shopping plaza we pass by sometimes, but I’m not sure what’s got her excited all of a sudden.
“What am I missing?”
She rolls her eyes like I should already understand. “We haven’t bought anything new for the house in a while.”
“Okay?”
“And now that we’re starting a fresh chapter, I think it would be good luck. Kind of… symbolic.”
I laugh, shaking my head at her. “You’re so fucking weird sometimes.”
“It’s not weird!” she shoots back with a smile. “It doesn’t have to be anything big. Just like… a candle. Or new dishes.”
I glance at her as we near the entrance of the shopping center, and even though her logic is shit, I turn in. Because there’s not much I’d deny this woman.
“Thanks,” she beams, already undoing her seatbelt and we haven’t even parked yet.
I ease into a spot and tuck my phone inside my pocket before stepping out and getting Blue’s door. Her hand slips right back into mine, and we walk slowly because there’s no reason to rush. We have all day, an entire lifetime.
“Know what I think we should buy?”
Her eyes fill with suspicion, and she’s already smiling when she peers up at me. “Oh, gosh. What?”
I hold in my laugh. “A classic arcade game for the man cave. I’m thinking about starting a collection.”
She rolls her eyes. “So, we’re going to celebrate our fresh start with a gift for you?”
I shrug as we approach the crosswalk. “That all depends on how you look at it. A gift that makes me happy could be a gift for you, too.”
“Let’s start with the candle and see where we land.”
“Suit yourself,” I say with a sigh, “But when you wake up in the middle of the night, wanting to get your ass kicked in Mortal Kombat, don’t say I didn’t try.”
“I think I’ll live, but thanks for your concern.”
She clings to me as we cross. I spot a cool chair through the shop window, but as I reach for the door handle, Blue tugs my arm.
I glance over at her. “What?”
She takes a breath, and I’m not sure why she’s hesitating. “It’s just that… this isn’t really the store I wanted to check out.”
My brow gathers, because I’m confused as hell. “Isn’t this where you asked me to stop?”
Her teeth sink into her lip when she nods. She’s smiling, but when her eyes fill with tears, I have no idea what’s going on.
I step closer, trying to read whatever this mood is, but I’m at a loss.
“I was thinking that, maybe… we could go there instead.”
She nods to her right, and my eyes follow hers. To the hand-painted sign hanging above the shop beside us.
Cribs, Cradles & Things.
It takes a moment for my head to process what I’m seeing, what my wife is trying to tell me. But when I meet her gaze again, and those tears she held in slip down her cheeks, I finally understand.
“Are you… we’re—”
She nods, answering the question I couldn’t quite get my words together to fully ask.
My gaze lowers to her stomach, then back to her eyes when she confirms.
“We’re having a baby.”
I don’t know what to say, but I know what I need to do. I need to grab my wife in my arms, squeeze her like crazy because…
We’re having a baby.
She laughs against my cheek when I pull her to me, and her feet leave the ground.
“This is for real?”
She nods. “It’s definitely real. I took fifteen tests. All positive.”
My mind’s racing almost as fast as my heart. “How?”
That makes her laugh harder. “If you have to ask that, we’re not doing it right?”
I let her down, staring into her beautiful eyes. “You know what I mean. I thought we… the doctors said…”
She shakes her head. “I’ve heard of this happening. Couples who spend years trying, stop trying, and then it just… happens.”
I can’t even blink as I stare at her. “It just happens.”
She bites her lip when she smiles, nodding.
I kiss her when I can’t help myself. A lifetime of memories with this woman flood my head. The good, the bad, and now I know what it was all for.
To get us to this moment.
“When?”
She shrugs. “Pretty sure it was at Hunter’s place, but we can never tell him that.”
I laugh then kiss her again. “You’re fucking amazing. You know that?”
More tears flood her eyes, then she stretches on the tips of her toes to kiss me back. “And you’re everything,” she says. “And you’re going to be an amazing dad.”
Those words land hard, and I nod. For years, I wasn’t always sure that would be the case, but as we stand here in this moment, having done the work to become the best versions of ourselves, I actually agree with her.
“Guess I’ve got even more reason to get through surgery,” I say quietly.
Her brows pinch together. “West—”
“I’m serious.” I take her hands again, squeezing them gently. “I was already planning to fight like hell to get back out there. But now?” I shake my head, letting out a breath that feels bigger than my lungs can hold. “Now I’ve got someone new to show up for.”
Blue’s smile softens, and something in my chest tightens.
“You were already enough,” she says. “You don’t have to prove anything.”
“Honestly, I think I’m finally starting to get that,” I tell her, brushing a thumb over the back of her hand. “But I’m choosing to be someone our kid can count on.”
My gaze drifts once more to the sign above the storefront, and the reality of it hits me all over again.
We’re having a baby.
A laugh escapes me, half disbelief, the other half straight-up elation.
“Well,” I say, tugging her gently toward the door, “guess we better get used to this.”
She looks up at me. “Used to what?”
I pull the door open and grin down at her. “Spending a ridiculous amount of money on tiny furniture.”
She laughs as we step inside together, her hand still wrapped in mine. There’s this feeling I haven’t felt in so long, and I cling to it for dear life.
For once, the future feels solid under my feet.