10. Gabe
Chapter 10
Gabe
I could tell a nightmare raged in Ash’s dreams, and I could do nothing to help her. If I were to hold her in my arms and comfort her like I once did, she would slit my throat. I watched in agony as she stirred in her bedroll and moaned in pain. It reminded me of all the nights I soothed her with my words and my body not long ago. I sat mere inches away from her bedroll next to the fire, my arms resting on my knees, but I had never felt so far away from her. I clenched my fists to keep them from reaching out for her. I pulled my hat lower on my eyes as they watered with pain, remembering the way she looked at me when she found the letters. I never meant for it to be like this.
Suddenly, she jolted upright, wiping furiously at her hands.
“It was only a dream…Ash.” Her name came out of my lips dripping with anguish .
She put her hands to her head and squeezed it like she was trying to wring memories out of her head. I couldn’t be sure what happened earlier, but her blue eyes that simmered with rage suddenly changed and filled with fear. She peered up at me again, and her longing look gutted me—she missed what we had just like I did, but she was too angry to admit it right now.
She pulled her knees to her chest, mirroring my posture, and stared at the flickering flames. The lateness of the hour had lulled the rest of the camp to sleep, except for the few guards on duty.
“When did you know?” Her delicate voice was soft against the wind rustling through the trees and the sounds of the night.
“What part?” If I was ever going to gain her trust back, I must tell her the whole truth now.
“Who I was, that you were going to be King, that we were supposed to get—“ she swallowed hard, choking on the word, “married.”
I let out a breath—I owed her answers. “I found out who you were right before I came to Cedar Hill. My dad was the King’s first captain, what Peters is to him now. The first captain holds much power and is the King’s right-hand man. They know everything . All I was ever told is that my father was away on a special mission that I couldn’t know about until the mission turned into mine. I met your father, Liam, a few times when I was young. He never seemed like he wanted to be in Hope. He was never around. My dad told me Maximus forced him into a marriage with his wife.”
“What was her name?”
“Beth. She was the daughter of one of the King’s advisors.”
“What’s an advisor?”
There was so much she didn’t know, and it was all my fault. If only I’d come to terms with my feelings sooner, but after all, showing emotion was weakness. “High-ranking men that Maximus trusts. There are twelve of them. They live all over the country but come to Hope to report the happenings in their designated areas: the progress of soldier training, the status of the King’s army, trading, things of that nature.”
“Where was she from?”
“Up North. But none of her family is still alive.” No one seems to live that goes against the King.
“What happened?”
“Liam didn’t want to marry Beth, but Maximus insisted it was for the best. Liam and Beth had only been married a few years when she died. Liam was always gone, and no one knew where he went. Not even the King. My father was tasked with following the Prince. He found out that Liam had a daughter hidden away from the King—an heir to the throne. A child born out of wedlock. He found out about you the same day that Liam freed the blondes and let them into the King’s estate. The same day that blondes broke into the King’s mansion and killed Beth.” The very raid that had killed my mother, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk about that with Ash yet. There were small moments when Ash reminded me of my mother. Her kindness toward the little girl back in Three Forks, giving her the necklace. I couldn’t be angry that she gave it away when that was probably the nicest thing that girl would ever have. Besides, I could get Ash another one. It was in moments like those that Ash’s softness reminded me of my mother’s kindness.
Ash’s face filled with horror. I had tried to protect her from the truth, but it had done me no good. This had to be a lot for her to comprehend, dumping loads of baggage from the past in her lap in one sitting. But she deserved the truth. Maybe it would help her see my side of the story and bring her back to me. I wouldn’t take no for an answer. She had to see the reason I kept all this from her was for her own good.
Was it?
The voice inside my head that kept nagging sounded once more. It sounded like my mother’s voice. Another voice that sounded a whole lot like Miles’ dying voice kept repeating: We finally did it, son. The Etans will see the throne. You are to be King of Novum. Do not let anyone let you lose sight of it.
I wanted it. I yearned for it. I deserved to be King, and now I’d convinced King Maximus that I could have Ash as well. If I had told Ash sooner and we had run away together, becoming King would have never been a possibility. All I could see was my mother’s disappointed face, and I shoved it away and continued.
“That same day, Miles followed Liam when King Maximus found out about you and ordered that the child be brought to him. Liam released the blondes as a diversion and took you and ran—straight to Pop, who took you and hid you away. Miles followed Pop, and the other soldiers followed Liam, but Liam slipped away and disappeared. My dad was tasked with protecting you all these years, waiting for Liam to come back. As for Beth’s family, they went after the King when they found out about their daughter. None of them survived.”
I could see her trying to put together all the pieces. “But why didn’t Miles just take me back to the King? Why leave me with Nan and Pop?”
“King Maximus doesn’t value women—he doesn’t think you are a true heir to the throne because of your gender. Our task was to wait for Liam to show up for you. Maximus knew he would eventually. He thought it was more likely he would go back to a small town with few soldiers patrolling than to Hope. Liam is a traitor, and the King has been hunting him for years—you are the only leverage that he has on his son.”
“If Beth wasn’t my mom, then who was? How did I end up like this?” She gestured to her head.
“Liam cheated on Beth with your mother, who I assume now was blonde. I had no idea either. Miles and the King kept that information to themselves. I always knew that Liam had cheated and had a daughter with another woman, but I never knew it was a blonde woman. I never knew you were blonde until this spring.”
I rubbed the spot between my eyes. The King had been playing me all this time too, but why? There was a reason he didn’t tell me she was blonde. I assumed now it was so I could grow closer to her without bias. But then why task me to kill her? If there was anything I knew about King Maximus, it was that he didn’t do anything without a reason. He had a plan in mind that would ultimately be for the good of Novum, and I had to trust that.
“I didn’t know I was supposed to take the throne until my dad died. He told me when he was dying in my arms. It had been rumored in our family for years that we were the Etans and eventually one of us would be King, but I never believed it would be me.” My father’s dying words were still fresh in my mind.
“Diesel, if you were ever honest to me, please be honest right now. Why is the King collecting blondes? Why are they so special?”
I breathed out a sigh. An answer that was so carefully guarded. “I don’t know the finer details like the doctors do, but the virus that killed so many people and more specifically killed almost all the blondes made the blondes that survived superior. It somehow enhanced their abilities—better senses, stronger, faster, things of that nature. It seems to be based on senses somewhat. Some have stronger senses of hearing, some taste, some sight, like I believe you are. You can see better than anyone I’ve ever met, but it doesn’t seem…superhuman like most blondes.”
I watched her carefully, and she nodded.
“Originally, when Novum was formed, the group of doctors and politicians that lead Hope were trying to save the blondes. That is why they called them all to Hope in the beginning. But the blondes figured out they had these special powers and began to use them to manipulate and gain power. Titus Etan, my something-great-grandfather, figured out what was going on and tried to convince the leaders of what was happening. When they didn’t listen, he overthrew them and pronounced himself King before the blondes could do too much damage. But the blondes were angry at Titus for trying to round them up, and they killed him with the very same virus that gave them their strength.”
“How?”
“A blonde man that had superior speed got to Titus before anyone even saw him. Injected him with the blood of someone infected. No one knows if he died from the actual virus or the infection from the dirty needle, but regardless, it was the blondes that did it. That’s why the Brodericks started hunting them after Titus died and they came to power. That’s why they locked them all away, so they couldn’t use their superhuman abilities to suppress anyone else again.”
Ash stared at the fire, her eyes darting back and forth as she thought about what I’d said.
“You’re different though.” I truly believed it. She was normal. She didn’t have any special abilities, and if she did, she would never use them to kill or take power. “You’re not like them. You don’t have abilities. You are proof that the world can be different. ”
She swallowed and fiddled with her fingers. “What if the soldiers didn’t show up to take us back to Hope? What if they came to kill me, Diesel?”
The question I’d been dreading. I didn’t want to answer it because I was afraid to admit what might be the truth. I loved the thought of being King more than I loved Ash. Shame flooded my face, but I ducked my head so she couldn’t see. “Then I would have fought until my last breath to keep you alive. It was worth the chance, Ash.” I gave her words I thought she wanted to hear. Thinking I would have fought for her until I died made me feel less guilty.
“The chance at being King was worth my life?”
How did she do it? How did her penetrating blue eyes dig into my very soul? How did she see the things that I so desperately wanted to keep hidden, prying them to the surface to make me face my demons?