26. Ash
Chapter 26
Ash
I lost.
And I surmised that Kane knew that I would from the beginning, which was why he made the deal in the first place. I tried my hardest to shoot the gun and hit the bullseye, but my shot placement wasn’t nearly as accurate as Kane’s. His precision with a gun was as astonishing as mine was with a bow and arrow. His bullets basically went through the same hole every time.
He didn’t say much more to me after I called him out about having a secret ability because he was blonde, but he did show me how to use the gun and how to aim better after our competition was over. By the end of our session, I was very pleased with my aim. What I still couldn’t figure out, though, was why he would do that? Why help me become better? The man was an enigma that I couldn’t figure out, and I found myself not hating him nearly as much as I should.
All these thoughts swirled in my head as I strolled through the mansion halls with Jerek, Davis, and Ryan later that day, just to get out of my room. I asked Ryan various questions about the history of Hope, prodding here and there for answers to all of my questions. We walked past a room, and something caught my eye and I paused.
“What’s in there?” I asked.
“The King’s personal library,” Ryan answered.
I stepped toward it, wanting to go inside.
“No,” Ryan said. “No one is allowed in there without permission.”
My shoulders slumped. The books inside could contain definitions and explanations of the words in Pop’s book that I didn’t understand.
From out of nowhere, Diesel strode up from around a bend in the hall, marching directly toward us. His eyes were ablaze with fire and his face showed a look of determination. He had a perfectly trimmed beard and neatly styled clothes, looking nothing like the man I’d grown to love in Cedar Hill. I hadn’t seen him in days, and I could help but think that this current look suited him. This new side of him where he ignored me most of the time felt strange. I was used to his constant attention, and though I wanted to distance myself from him, I found myself missing our time together.
“Ash,” he murmured before looking up and down the hall. “I’ve got her, you’re dismissed,” he said, effectively sending everyone away. Ryan shot me one last small smile before she disappeared.
Diesel wrapped his hand around my upper arm and pulled me toward the library .
“Where have you been, Diesel?” I asked.
He pushed the door open and tugged me inside, flipping on a light next to the door. Shelves and shelves of books covered the walls, and I gaped in awe. I’d never seen this many books in one place.
He turned toward me, holding on to my arm. “It’s Gabe. Stop calling me that.” His words came out sharp, and he was right. He was Gabe now. Diesel died back in Cedar Hill, a fact that was all too clear to me now. Maybe he never really was Diesel to begin with.
“I’ve been trying to keep you alive, trying to find your father and put a stop to this rebellion, and trying my damnedest to stay away from you and not barge into your training sessions with Kane and shoot him in the face, all while doing my other duties, but I needed to see you, just for a moment. Are you okay?”
That was a loaded question. No. I wasn’t in any way okay, but I wouldn’t tell him that.
I nodded, still looking at the surrounding books, unwilling to meet his green eyes.
“Ash,” he said softer. “How come you didn’t tell me about meeting Kane before?”
I knew this question was coming sooner or later. I could still see his reaction after he found out the night of the party, but then other things overshadowed that revelation. And this was the first time I was having a conversation with him alone since that night. The last time I saw him was days ago when we had breakfast with the Queen.
I didn’t know what to say to him. Knowing Kane and knowing about his blonde hair felt like a dirty secret that I couldn’t seem to share with anyone, not even Diesel—not even when I wanted to believe he was it for me. Why was I protecting Kane? I didn’t have an answer. I felt horrible for lying and keeping it from him, but Diesel’s secrets were just as bad.
“My time in the hunters’ house was…” I trailed off, trying to find the right words. Horrible, soul-sucking, the worst low I’d ever experienced. Except for the one ray of sunshine—Will. “It was awful, and you never asked about it, so I was trying to forget.” Forget everything except Will and the way those gray eyes got under my skin so badly.
Diesel’s jaw ticked. “I never asked because…to be honest, I was afraid to know what happened to you in there.” He sighed.
“To be fair, I didn’t think it would matter. I hoped I’d never see him again.” That was the truth. I leaned back against a bookshelf, pursing my lips. Diesel’s hand remained on my arm as he seemed to accept my answer.
“Tell me what’s going through your head.” His thumb stroked across the skin on my arm. I looked at him then—really looked at him. His perfectly cut hair and beard. The way his dark clothes made his green eyes pop even more. He looked…well, like he fit. Like this life fit perfectly on him.
“I’m thinking you’re right. You aren’t Diesel anymore, just Gabe,” I said softly.
His eyebrows furrowed as he gazed down at me. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“You’re—different here.”
His thumb stroked across my arm once more, and he leaned closer. I didn’t miss the way his eyes flicked down toward my lips before he spoke. “I told you it was going to have to be different.”
The door creaked open, and I jerked my head in that direction. Kane stepped into the dimly lit library, his eyes landing on us instantly .
“Get out,” Gabe commanded as he stepped closer to me. But Kane didn’t move. He simply raised his eyebrows and picked at his fingernails like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“You’re hurting her arm.” His voice sounded calm, but there was an undertone of violence lacing his words.
I hadn’t even realized it, but Gabe’s hand was wrapped tightly around my arm. It didn’t hurt badly, but his fingers pressed into my skin enough to leave a mark. He didn’t pull away or stop glaring at Kane, but his hand did loosen slightly.
“We haven’t had the pleasure of a conversation yet. What’s your last name?” Gabe asked Kane.
Kane’s eyes jerked to Gabe’s hand on my arm, assessing something before he smirked. “Don’t have one. My father was a bastard, and I refuse to inherit his legacy.”
Gabe finally released my arm and stepped slightly in front of me. “Where did you come from? You didn’t grow up or train here.” He shot another question in Kane’s direction. The tension radiating between them had me guessing what they’d say next.
“No, I did not,” Kane answered before looking straight at me. “I didn’t have the pleasure of growing up as pampered as you. I grew up on the outskirts of Novum, scraping by for my life. Started hunting blondes and fighting soldiers for money to stay alive when King Maximus took notice.”
The fighting. It explained the scarred knuckles. He was like me, more so than I ever could’ve imagined, but he turned to the King for help when life got hard. I never would. You could tell a lot about a person based on what they did when death was on their front step.
“I’ve heard that no one has bested you in the rankings fights,” Gabe said .
This information was all new to me. The ranking fights—so much to dissect and to learn.
Kane didn’t so much as crack a smirk. “Then you’ve heard correctly.” No boasting—just a simple fact. “The ranking fights,” Kane said, directing his words to me, “are for the soldiers. If you do well enough in the fights, you have the opportunity to move to a higher rank.”
“When is the next fight?” Gabe asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Couple weeks.” Kane shrugged.
“Will you be fighting?”
“Only if I get challenged.” Kane’s voice was flat and full of testing as they glared at one another. His eyes flickered to me. “As thrilling as this conversation is, I came to speak to Ash.”
“Why were you in Rollins?” Gabe burst out like he couldn’t contain his words any longer.
Kane raised a brow. “It is my job to collect blondes if you recall.”
Gabe’s nostrils flared and his fists clenched. “I’m having a word with Ash currently, and you are only supposed to see her in the mornings. Leave.”
“Ash,” Kane addressed me. “Could we please have a word?”
“No,” Gabe said, stepping closer to Kane.
“I wasn’t speaking to you. Ash is a person who can make her own decisions.”
I wanted to hug Kane at that moment for giving me a choice—for giving me the opportunity to leave this conversation with Gabe. Something Gabe had never given me. A choice.
“Yes.” I found myself choking out. “I’ll speak to you.”
Gabe looked at me with a shocked face before unfolding his arms and striding toward Kane. “Who do you think you are? I am the Prince of Novum, and she is my fiancée. You have no right to demand any of her time outside of your training hours.”
They were face to face now. Gabe’s fists were by his side, while Kane’s were still crossed in front of him. My eyes danced between them. It didn’t seem like either of them had an advantage over the other. They were almost the same height, though Gabe was a slight bit bulkier in his form. I could see this situation going downhill quickly, and I stepped toward them.
“She is not just your fiancée or some girl that you can control. She is a person with the right to choose whether or not she has a conversation with me. I am not the one demanding that she do anything.” Kane’s voice was sharp as knives.
Gabe moved closer until they were almost nose to nose. Gabe’s chest heaved with fiery breaths, while Kane stood rock still. I moved between them before something bad could happen.
“Gabe,” I said, forcing him to look at me. “It’ll only take a minute.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting with Advisor Newman, anyhow?” Kane asked.
Gabe’s eyes widened with alarm, and he cursed under his breath.
“Jerek!” Gabe called, and Jerek opened the door, peeking in. “I have to go. Stay with these two, and make sure Ash gets back to her room.”
Jerek nodded in understanding before Gabe gave me one last look and rushed from the library.
I stared at the piles of books in longing as we stood in silence for a moment before Kane moved in front of me.
“Why’d you do that?” I snapped, unsure of my feelings.
“You’re going have to be more clear,” Kane said slowly .
“Why’d you give me a choice? Why’d you save me from talking to him?”
“I may be your worst enemy, but I am not far gone enough to watch any man make a woman feel like that. A child could have seen how uncomfortable you were.”
“ I wasn’t…” The words wouldn’t come out. “You don’t know how I feel,” I bit back.
“Jerek?” Kane asked, looking for backup.
Jerek raised his hands. “I’m not getting in the middle of anything.” He backed up to the wall and put his hands behind his back, looking away from us.
“If you weren’t uncomfortable, then why would you say I saved you from speaking to him?“ Kane’s eyebrows rose smugly as he addressed me again.
“I’d rather talk to anyone but you,” I grumbled. He smirked, and before he could say anything more, I interrupted. “Why did you want to talk to me anyway?”
“We have somewhere to be tonight,” he said, moving toward the door.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
Kane turned back toward me with a smirk on his face. “Why? You scared, Blondie?”
I glared at him. “I am not scared.”
“Then follow me.” He gestured toward the door, and I had a moment to decide if I’d go or stay. I looked at Jerek for help, but he looked onward. Useless.
Stay in the King’s mansion and rot for another night or take a chance with Kane and whatever he had in store for me. It couldn’t be any worse than our training sessions together, could it? He surely wouldn’t take me somewhere to die, would he? I decided at that moment that whatever Kane was offering sounded far more thrilling than the four walls of my room, and I followed him out of the library.