33. Ash
Chapter 33
Ash
Later that afternoon, there was a knock on my door, and I pulled it open to find Gabe on the other side, looking as charming as ever.
“Hi,” he breathed. “Can I come in?”
I nodded and moved out of the way, shutting the door behind him.
“What did Kane want yesterday?” he asked, stopping right inside the door.
Was it just yesterday that we were in the library? It felt like weeks ago. Did Gabe know about Nan’s death? He couldn’t. He would’ve told me, right? I was too afraid to ask. I felt so alone. With Nan’s death, the revelation of Kane and Jerek’s cruelty, and the whole world hating me, I suddenly felt so alone. I wanted Diesel back. I wanted to feel the way he used to make me feel.
How much did he know about yesterday? I decided on honesty. “He took me to see the underground fights between the soldiers and the blondes.”
“He what?” Gabe roared, pulling at his short hair. “I’m going to kill him.”
“Please do,” I huffed, stepping back from him and turning to look out the window.
Gabe’s breathing quieted down behind me. “Is he—“ He gulped. “Is he doing anything he shouldn’t be? Please tell me. I’ve been too afraid to ask because I can’t interfere, but Ash, if he is doing anything, you need to tell me.”
I thought back to all my encounters with Kane. He’d touched me a few times, and he made me uncomfortable in my training everyday, but he never made me feel unsafe. In fact, when I was with him, I felt safer than anywhere else in this whole city. The thought pummeled into me like a charging bear.
“No.” I sighed. “He hasn’t done anything like that.” Did I want him to make me feel unsafe? Would it give me even more of a reason to hate him?
Gabe breathed a sigh of relief. “Kane said there was a wolf attack last night… It killed three soldiers.”
I waited for him to say more, to ask about the attack on me and about Davis Sr., but the questions never came. Kane must’ve kept that to himself, making me question why for the millionth time. Nothing that man did made any sense.
“How’d it get past the wall?” I asked, wondering if he knew anything Kane didn’t.
He shook his head. “I don’t know. The guards are looking into it. Winter is coming on strong; it must be starving or psychotic…or both. ”
His comment made a memory surge into my mind. “Remember that raccoon that kept breaking into Old Marva’s house?”
A huge grin covered Gabe’s face, and he chuckled. “I completely forgot about that.” The memory replayed in my head, and I laughed. The thing kept getting into Marva’s house, not that it was much of a house, it needed serious repairs. But the raccoon kept finding small holes to wiggle into and steal her food. Marva finally got sick of it and called me and Gabe in to help. We waited outside her house all night with our bows, waiting for the raccoon to come back around. It finally showed its face in the middle of the night. It scared Gabe out of his pants. The thing dripped foam out of its mouth and kept running at us until I finally stuck an arrow through it.
“Now, that thing was psychotic.“ I giggled.
“Scared the wits out of you.”
“Me? I don’t think you remember what happened correctly… I’m the one who finally had enough sense to kill it.”
Gabe laughed so hard he bent over slightly. My eyes watered with tears, and I fell onto one of the plush couches, laughing. He grabbed his stomach like it hurt and flopped down on the couch next to me.
“I miss it,” he murmured when we both quieted down. “I miss the days when it was just you and me…without all of this.”
“Me too.” I did…honestly. Some of the best memories I had were with Gabe…or Diesel. He reached over and gently laced his fingers through mine. A sense of homesickness hit me like a rock. This wasn’t right… None of this was right. I wanted to go home. I wished it was all a sick dream. But without Nan, there wasn’t any home to go to anymore .
“Have you heard anything about Nan?” I asked softly. “It’s been so long.” I wanted to know if Gabe knew.
“I don’t know. I can ask and get a letter to her if you’d like?” he murmured sincerely. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about how much you must miss her.”
I nodded and stared straight ahead. Either he still didn’t know, or he was an excellent liar. I didn’t know which answer was true. His thumb stroked over the top of my hand. “I have to go away for a few weeks.”
“Where?”
“I’m escorting the advisors from Holbrook Valley and Antelope Flats back home.”
I shook my head. “Where is that?”
“To the south. I forget how much you don’t know sometimes. There are ten regions…ten advisors. Well, technically eleven. Hope is the eleventh, and in case of a tie, the King casts the deciding vote.”
“Cedar Hill is in one of these regions?”
He nodded. “The advisor lives in Rollins. That’s where their soldier training facility is and where most of the men that got recruited in Cedar Hill go to train.”
“They don’t all go to Hope?”
“No… There’s not enough room for all of them here. Only the boys and men from Hope and the elite from the other regions are allowed to come here.”
“But they are all loyal to the King?”
“Yes, Kane ensures it.” Another secret uncovered about him.
“Why isn’t all of this common knowledge? I mean, Nan got a whole book about the history of Novum, and as far as I know, it never mentioned this. ”
He sighed. “How often did you go about talking to soldiers and government authorities when you lived in Cedar Hill, spitfire?” I cringed at the nickname.
“Um…never.”
“Exactly. People in the outlying towns don’t know because they run and hide whenever a soldier gets near—unless they are trying to become one to escape their own life—and for good reason. But it’s hard to control the actions of every soldier.”
“But they treat people differently. I saw it when we came here. They went from cruel to kind the second we reached a city.”
“It’s a problem that I intend to look into and something I will watch for on my trip.”
“What about Liam?” I asked. Gabe promised that he would find him so Nan wouldn’t die in his stead, but now…Nan was already gone. Now it didn’t matter if Gabe found Liam or not because she was dead, and I’d already found my father. Did Gabe know he was here right under his nose?
“I will be following up on the lead I received while I am away.”
“Let me come with you.” I looked into his swirling green eyes, and sadness crushed my chest for all we had lost together. Maybe if I went with him, I could talk to my father again, outside the confines of these walls. Maybe I could convince Gabe to join my side.
He breathed deeply and closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, I knew what his answer would be.
“I’m so sorry. I wish things were different.” He glared at my head like he wanted to rip my yellow locks out. He released my hand and moved until he kneeled on the floor in front of me. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a shiny object, holding it out in front of him .
“I know this doesn’t mean a lot to you right now, and I know that you don’t trust me, but believe me when I say I love you. No matter how hard I try not to, I will always love you. I’m not even going to ask because I know that you will tell me ‘no’ out of spite. But please, Ash, please wear my ring and remember the good times—the raccoons, the sunsets on the mountain, the hunting trips—and know that I will fight every day to keep you.”
The sincerity of his words gutted me, and he pulled my hand into his large warm ones and slipped the ring on my finger. It matched the necklace he gave me, I realized. The turquoise pendant on the silver band matched exactly.
“Please don’t give this one away,” he snickered.
I was at a loss for words. It wasn’t a proposal, because he hadn’t asked. He stood and pulled me up with him, wrapping me in a cocoon of warm arms, and I let him. I missed him so much and all our times together. He pulled back and moved until he gently kissed my lips.
“Remember to stay with the guards,” he said, and then he was gone.
I pulled the ring off and hid it in a drawer until he returned.