Chapter 20 #2
That got her attention. “And how long ago was that?”
“A little over a year ago.” I hesitated. Squinted at the water, or maybe the memory. “We were supposed to get married that week.” A wry smile tipped my lips as I shot her a sideways glance. “You almost ran me over exactly a year to the day she left me.”
Andi went silent again, which somehow made it easier to keep going.
“There was no call. No goodbye. Just her engagement ring and a note on the nightstand I found the morning of, saying she’d fallen in love with someone else.” I let out a bitter breath and swallowed hard, shaking my head as a hollow chuckle escaped me. “Jesus, I sound like a bad country song.”
I stared out at the water again, willing the memory away.
“It’s crazy how you can spend so much of your life with someone and still have no idea who they really are.
” I gave a hollow laugh. “We’d dated in high school, but after graduation she left.
College out in Phoenix. But she came back a few years ago.
Her car broke down outside the Rusty Spur.
I helped her out and one thing led to another.
It all felt familiar and…easy. Enough that it made me feel like maybe we could pick up where we left off.
” I shrugged. “I figured that had to mean something.” A beat passed.
“Guess it meant more to me than it did to her.” I exhaled and tipped my face to look at her.
“So when you showed up, all mystery and trouble, I figured you were the same kind of mistake waiting to happen.”
Andi didn’t say anything right away. Just watched me with that look again—the one that stripped right through all my defenses.
“That’s…brutal. Being left by someone you loved with a note, not once but twice,” she said finally, voice soft and understanding. “I’m so sorry, Zane.”
My head turned, just a little more as my curiosity piqued.
“Norah told me about your dad,” she went on. “I guess I just… I'm sorry it keeps happening to you.”
I shrugged like it didn’t still hurt to think about it. Like it hadn’t shaped damn near every decision since.
“Still doesn’t explain why you hated me,” she added, but there was none of that usual bite behind it.
“No,” I agreed, “but maybe it explains why I’m scared to like you.”
Her lips parted, then closed again. She looked away, gaze fixed on some point across the creek. “You’re not the only one with ghosts,” she murmured. “Mine just don’t leave notes.”
That line stuck with me, but I didn’t push. Just waited. Let the silence settle in around us again.
She drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “I had a bad breakup, too.”
My eyes flicked over to her, but I kept still.
“Different kind of bad, though,” she said, twisting at the blades of grass in front of her. “Less white dress and altar and more…packing all your shit up and leaving in the middle of the night.”
I didn’t move. Not physically, at least, but something inside of me did.
She hadn’t given me details, but I suddenly wanted them.
What kind of man had her packing up and disappearing in the dead of night?
I wanted to know. I wanted to understand what kind of damage she was carrying—maybe learn more about those ghosts of hers that didn’t leave notes like mine did.
And not because it might help with this plan that was falling apart right before my eyes, but because she was sitting next to me—being raw and real and honest—and it made me the worst kind of bastard because…
I wasn’t. Not raw. Not real, and definitely not honest. I’d come into this thinking I could play nice, dig up what I needed, and walk away without catching feelings.
But somewhere between her sharp tongue and soft doe eyes, between the silences and the truth she never quite said, I’d actually started giving a real damn.
“There wasn’t really anyone left to say goodbye to, anyway,” she added quietly. “Not anymore.”
I knew without her saying that she was talking about her parents. “You really have no one?”
She shook her head, the motion small, as she brought her bottom lip between her teeth. And damn if that didn’t do something to me.
“My dad died of a heart attack two years ago. He was only fifty-six. Worked construction his whole life and barely took a day off.” Her voice wavered, and she blinked fast, like she was trying not to let her emotions show.
“It hit my mom hard. They were one of those rare couples who actually loved each other, you know? But she just…completely unraveled after he was gone.” She pulled in a breath and let it out slowly.
“She started sleeping all day and stopped eating. We fought a lot. I didn’t know how to help her, and I was grieving, too.
I thought she’d come back from it eventually…
” A bitter smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “But she didn’t.”
Andi didn’t elaborate—didn’t have to, and I didn’t need to ask. Because the truth of it was, no matter what had actually happened, it was obvious that her mom had died of a broken heart.
I swallowed, my throat suddenly tight, and before I could stop myself, I said quietly, “I can be someone.”
The second the words left my mouth, the air between us felt heavier, like it had soaked up every ounce of tension and was just waiting to explode. I hadn’t meant to say the words aloud, but now that they were out there, I didn’t want to take them back.
She blinked, like she didn’t know what to do with that. Or me.
“If you want me to be.”
“Zane…” she said, her expression wavering somewhere between brave and broken.
“I know you’re not staying,” I added quickly, and reached out without thinking, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
My hand lingered for half a second too long.
Her skin was warm. Soft. And, to my surprise, she didn’t pull away.
“But maybe when you go…you won’t have to leave like there’s no one to say goodbye to. ”
Her watery eyes darted over my face as silence fell between us.
I should’ve looked away. Should’ve backed off and given her space like I always did when things got too real.
But this time, I didn’t move. Neither did she.
Her gaze dipped to my mouth for just a second, and that was all it took.
My pulse took off as I leaned in a little more, slow enough to give her an out but fast enough to feel like maybe I couldn’t stop myself.
“I don’t know if I’m any good at this,” she said, her voice soft and fragile as her breath ghosted over my lips.
“Good at kissin’?” I couldn’t help the intrigued amusement that tugged at my mouth. “Well, now I’m really curious.”
Her mouth lifted in the faintest smile, but it was shaky.
I brushed a knuckle under her chin, coaxing her eyes back to mine. “Do you trust me?”
A moment of hesitation passed between us before she nodded, small and quiet. Her lashes fluttered, then lowered, and in the breath that followed, I closed the distance. Our lips met—light, tentative, and then a little more. And whatever she thought she wasn’t good at? She was wrong.
Her lips parted against mine, warm and unsure, and when she sighed into me, I felt something unspool in my chest. I deepened the kiss just a little, guiding her and letting her find her rhythm.
My hand slid to her waist, then up her back, and her fingers curled into the front of my shirt as I pulled her closer, holding her like maybe I could protect her from whatever it was that she left behind.
Our mouths moved together with a heat I hadn’t expected—one that had clearly been building all this time, whether we’d admitted it or not.
The sharp clink of reins snapping loose broke the moment.
Dolly let out a sharp snort and took a few steps back, her reins sliding the rest of the way off the branch I’d tied her to. Cash gave a startled shuffle beside her, jostling everything around them.
I swore under my breath and pulled back, just far enough to glance over my shoulder and assess the chaos.
“Damn horse,” I muttered, catching my breath and standing up fast as I processed what the hell I just did and went after Dolly—jaw tight, pulse still racing.
The moment was broken, and maybe that was for the best. But that kiss didn’t come out of nowhere. It’d been hovering there between us for days, just waiting on one of us to be dumb enough to cross that line. And today, I guess that was me.
By the time I got Dolly under control and turned around, Andi was on her feet, brushing off her jeans, and my old hat sitting crooked on her head. She looked like someone who’d just been caught doing something she shouldn’t, and I imagined I didn’t look much different.
There was something new in her expression, though—lighter, maybe—despite the way her eyes still glistened from everything we’d just shared.
I cleared my throat. “We should probably head back,” I said, the tone of my voice rougher than I meant. “I, uh, promised Luke I’d help him with some stuff.” I led both horses over and held Dolly’s reins out to her. “He’s probably waiting on me.”
She accepted them with a quiet, unreadable look.
I swung up into the saddle, biting back a sigh that had nothing to do with what happened under that oak tree and everything to do with the fact that I’d just crossed a line I wasn’t sure I had any right to cross.
Andi mounted up beside me, and we rode side by side across the sun-drenched field in silence.
When we reached the fence line near the barn, I finally turned toward her, just as she glanced my way.
“Hey, Zane,” she murmured.
I looked at her, unsure of what she was about to say but almost positive it would sound a lot like that kiss should’ve never happened.
“When I go,” she continued, voice steady but gentle, “I won’t leave a note.”
My breath caught.
She looked up at me through her lashes, soft and fierce all at once. “I’ll say goodbye. You deserve that.”
My chest ached with something sharp and warm and way too hopeful. Less than a week ago, I wanted her gone. Thought of everything I could to make sure she wouldn’t stay longer than she had to. She was chaos wrapped in pretty packaging, and I’d had enough of that to last a lifetime.
But now?
Now I was thinking of every excuse in the world to keep her here.
All my old rules—the ones I made to protect myself—were starting to slip. And if I wasn’t careful, I was going to break every damn one of them.