Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Andi
Dear Diary,
Dear Mom and Dad,
It’s hard to believe how much has changed since you’ve been gone.
I know I’ve made some choices that probably broke your hearts.
Trust me, they broke mine, too. I let a horrible excuse for a human being take pieces of me I’m not sure I’ll ever fully get back.
I let him twist love into fear, and I lost myself for a long time.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever find my way back.
But then Tarnation happened. And Zane.
He’s…something else.
Dad, you’d like him. He’s got that same roll-up-your-sleeves grit you always had. And Mom, you’d love the way he takes care of his family…the way he takes care of me.
I still have bad days. Triggers that sneak up on me when I least expect it. But Zane’s been right there to catch me. To hold me. To put me back together when I feel like I’m falling apart.
Mom, do you remember that night in the motel? When I stared at the map and had no clue what to do or where to go? I thought you were sending me to Heaven, Texas. I thought that was your sign, but I never made it there. And now I can’t help but wonder…
Was this your plan all along?
My cell phone rang just as I cut my engine in front of the Rusty Spur.
“Hello?”
“Afternoon, Andi. This is Willy, from Willy’s Garage.”
I smiled at his unneeded explanation because in all my time here in Tarnation, I’d yet to meet another Willy or hear of another garage.
The sun warmed my shoulder and arm as I propped my elbow on the open window, switching my phone to the other ear as a light breeze teased strands of hair into my face.
Willy’s cheerful voice filtered through the line once more. “Got some good news for ya.”
My chest squeezed up tight with anticipation as I waited silently for him to keep going.
“Your Camaro’s all put back together,” he said. “Tire’s mounted on your new rim, and I got her all balanced up. She’s ready to roll.”
Relief hit me so hard I could’ve kissed the phone. My dad’s car…finally whole again.
“That’s…that’s amazing,” I said, grinning so hard my cheeks started to hurt.
“Yeah, but…” Willy hesitated, and there it was—the dreaded but. But was never good. “She was a tricky one. That specialty rim wasn’t cheap, and neither was shipping. With the tire and labor, you’re looking at…” He rattled off a number big enough to make me physically wince.
“Yikes.”
“I know,” he said, the words laced with sympathy. “I cut the cost of labor as much as I could—didn’t want to gouge ya—but…”
“It’s okay, really,” I said, gently interrupting him from apologizing for something he had no control over.
“I appreciate everything you’ve done,” I added, and meant it wholeheartedly.
This man—who knew I was a lost outsider—could’ve taken advantage of my situation at any time, but he didn’t.
But then again, everyone I’d met in Tarnation seemed to operate on the same quiet generosity.
Maybe it was the small-town way, or maybe it was just who they were.
Either way, it was a relief—and a little shocking—to know that kindness could exist without a catch.
“I’ll…uh…I’ll get the money together as soon as I can. ”
“No rush,” he said. “She’s safe here. I just wanted you to know that she’s good as new. Well, better than new, really.”
I huffed an amused laugh. “Better than new, huh?”
“Damn right,” he said, chuckling. “She’s so smooth now you could set your coffee on the dash and not spill a drop.”
My gaze wandered over the weathered building before me as Willy’s voice faded.
Even with the bill looming, my brain couldn’t bring itself to dwell on numbers.
Instead, I felt this small, rare bubble of contentment settle in the center of my chest because…
I wasn’t crushed about not being able to pick it up yet.
Weeks ago, being stuck in Tarnation felt like purgatory, but now?
Now it didn’t feel so bad. And Zane…God…
Zane was a whole different kind of reason not to rush.
“Thanks for calling, Willy,” I said softly. “I’ll bring you what I can, when I can.”
‘No problem,” he said. “You take care, now.”
We ended the call and I stared at the phone for a long moment, catching my reflection in the blackness of the screen.
I didn’t look like a woman who’d just got the news she’d been waiting for.
I looked…hell, I looked a little disappointed.
The one thing keeping me here didn’t exist anymore.
My car was finally fixed, and once I paid Willy for the repairs, I could leave Tarnation whenever I wanted.
So why did that make me sad?
I slipped my phone into my back pocket and let out a long, slow breath, trying and failing to make sense of those conflicting emotions coiling in my chest as I climbed out of my borrowed truck and made my way to the familiar red door of the Rusty Spur.
A blast of cool air, carrying the tang of beer and fryer grease, ghosted over my skin as sunlight followed me in through the open door, cutting across the dim room in a bright band that landed squarely on Norah as she sat there perched at the bar with her elbows planted on the scarred surface and a local newspaper spread out in front of her.
The heavy door closed behind me with a thud, snuffing out the sunlight and throwing the room into its usual murky glow, but Norah didn’t budge.
“What’s got you so invested?” I asked, skirting around the bar to the coffee pot Red kept tucked on a back shelf for staff.
The thing looked as rough as the outside of this building but it sputtered to life well enough, adding to the mix of scents a burnt-bean smell that was as much a part of the place as the neon signs and sticky floors.
“Real estate,” she answered flatly and met my curious gaze with an equally flat glare. “Privacy’s a hot commodity around here.”
Steam rose from the dark liquid filling my cup as I offered an empathetic, “What happened?”
“Luke busted me coming in early this morning from my overnight date and gave me his patented big brother lecture.” An exasperated sigh blew past her lips.
“I’m over it. Soooo over it,” she seethed, turning her attention back to the paper and tapping her pen against it.
“I don’t need him standing over me and telling me how to live my life.
It’s exhausting. Hell, he can run through half the women in the county if he wants, but the second I spend the night out, suddenly I’m reckless.
” Another sigh. “I need my own place. Somewhere I can do whatever the hell I want without his hypocrisy breathing down my neck.”
I blew against the steam and took a cautious sip from my mug as I nodded, because I understood her frustration all too well.
Not in a sibling way—I’d missed out on that in life—but I knew what the sting of being held to someone else’s impossible standards while they did whatever they wanted felt like.
And although Luke’s intentions were good—I knew enough about him and even Zane, too, to know that their over-protective ways were just how they looked out for her…
like the McKades always did for the people they cared about—I sympathized with the unfairness that Norah felt, and the ache was familiar enough to make me root for her.
“Speaking of getting busted…” Her head lifted as she smirked and crossed her arms over the flattened newspaper, leaning onto the bar, eyes sparkling with mischief as they met mine. “I heard that a certain someone got caught in another certain someone’s bedroom this morning.”
Cradling my mug in both hands, I held it to my chest and leveled her with a don’t-even-start glare.
Her smirk didn’t waver, though. “Hey, I’m not here to lecture you—unlike someone else we know—but word travels fast around here. I wasn’t even in town last night, and my phone was blowing up with text after text about how you and Zane were spotted sneakin’ away during the fireworks.”
I felt my cheeks warm—half from embarrassment and half from…something else—and narrowed my eyes. “I’m pretty sure we walked normally.”
“Oh, come on. Don’t act all innocent,” Norah said, but sobered a little as she added, “But don’t go sharing details or anything because…” She grimaced and threw up her hand, palm out. “Gross, that’s my brother.”
A quick laugh slipped past my lips as my eyes fell to the coffee mug in my hands. “It wasn’t like that,” I offered quietly. “I…broke down a little during the fireworks and…” I chewed on my bottom lip as I met her gaze once more and shrugged a shoulder. “Zane got me out of there.”
Norah’s eyes softened as she leaned back in her stool, the teasing moment giving way to something more understanding. “So…no fireworks of your own.”
I shook my head, letting a small, rueful smile slip. “Nope.”
And because I didn’t want to let last night’s fireworks mess overshadow everything good that had transpired from this morning to now—waking up with Zane, the ridiculous chaos from earlier, and Willy calling with the news about my car—I flipped the teasing back onto Norah.
Setting my coffee off to the side, I leaned on the bar rail, folding my arms over one another as I lowered my voice conspiratorially. “But we may have indulged in lighting a few…sparklers.”
I knew my poker face was shit, but that didn’t stop Norah’s face from twisting in mock horror. “I said don’t go sharing details.”
“I didn’t,” I said with all the innocence I could muster and shot her a look that was pure devious as I straightened to a stand and held my hands up in surrender. “Details would’ve been your brother undressing me when we got home—”
“Ew…”
“And then me undressing him—”
“Please stop,” she groaned, pressing her palms over her ears.
I dropped my hands back down onto the bar rail, letting my whole body melt into a mock-dreamy slump as I gave a long, theatrical sigh and rolled my eyes heavenward. “And—oh my God—don’t even get me started on how his hands—”