Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Zane
“Damn kids got into half the town last night,” Willy rumbled, scratching his salt and pepper beard with a hand that seemed to be permanently grease-stained, much like his coveralls.
“TP’d just about every business in town except for the Spur—Red’s late hours saved him on that one, I guess—and threw eggs at anything standin’ still.
Little shits also knocked over close to thirty mailboxes before gettin’ stuck in a ditch out by Henry White’s place.
Serves them right, if ya ask me.” He tugged off his baseball cap, ran a hand through his thinning hair, and plopped it back on.
“But instead of callin’ for help like normal people, those geniuses broke into my lot, grabbed my tow truck and…
” He lifted an arm and made a regretful face as he gestured to the Camaro. “Did that.”
I didn’t say a word. Just stared at the car and then at Andi standing beside me—my eyes slowly darting between the two of them and trying to determine which one looked more wrecked.
The Camaro itself looked pretty rough. The windshield had a long, branching crack stretching across the entire bottom length of the glass.
The driver’s side door was pushed in deep where those “geniuses” had backed into it with Willy’s tow truck, making it clear that door wasn’t opening again anytime soon.
And the driver’s side window…well…the only thing left of it was just a jagged lower edge of glass clinging to the frame.
Overall, the damage to the car wasn’t catastrophic and, thankfully, limited to just the body.
I knew that. Willy knew that. And I also knew that it could’ve been a hell of a lot worse had they backed into it any faster than they did.
At the end of the day, it was nothing that a few parts and a few weeks in Willy’s hands couldn’t fix.
Finding a new door might slow things down, but nothing about it was beyond repair.
But Andi…she wasn’t seeing any of that. And the last thing I wanted was to tell her it “wasn’t so bad.” It might not have been bad to me…but, from the look on her face, it sure as hell was bad to her.
“They’re gonna pay for it,” Willy said gently. “Their parents, I mean. Sheriff’s making damn good sure of that. I’m sorry, Andi. I really am.”
Andi just…nodded. But it wasn’t a present nod.
It was…distant. Like she was physically here but mentally off somewhere else.
And it was that look right there that made my stomach sink, because I’d seen her angry before.
Seen her scared. Seen fight in her. But this?
This was the look of someone who’d been knocked back into a place she’d clawed her way out of.
It fucking gutted me.
Deputy Woodson waved Willy over to his cruiser, and he excused himself, apologizing again before leaving me and Andi standing alone in the middle of the gravel lot.
My hand found the small of her back, resting there for one strained moment before curving around her waist and drawing her into my side.
“I thought I was past all this.”
My eyes narrowed, confused by her words, as she stood unmoving in my embrace. “Past what?”
She didn’t look at me, but when she spoke again her voice sounded so small. “Feeling trapped.”
Keeping my hand on her waist, I moved to stand in front of her—touching my fingers under her chin and gently coaxing her gaze to mine. “Where’s this comin’ from, princess?” Her glassy eyes darted between mine. “Talk to me,” I urged gently. “How are you feeling trapped?”
Her tongue dragged over her teeth, making a soft, sucking sound before pursing her lips and swallowing hard. “I don’t know how to say it without sounding like I’m contradicting myself.”
“Try me,” I said softly, tipping my mouth into a reassuring grin.
We went silent for a beat as I watched her process her thoughts, practically seeing those wheels spinning as she tried to work out whatever she was about to tell me.
“It’s just…I made my decision,” she finally said.
“A choice that was mine and mine alone. To stay here in this little town because I wanted to. But now…” She sucked in a shaky breath.
“Now it feels like that choice doesn’t matter anymore.
” Her chin wobbled. “Like the world just went ahead and decided for me again.”
“Andi…” I started, but she cut me off.
“It’s stupid. I know it’s stupid. It’s just a car, and it’s not the end of the world because Willy can fix it…again….but it’s…”
“Not stupid,” I affirmed, feeling a sharp squeeze around my heart as she dropped her forehead to the center of my chest.
A warm, heavy sigh hit my skin through the soft cotton of my shirt. “I want to be here…with you. I want to stay. But having my freedom ripped away again…even if I don’t want to leave, it makes me feel like I’m still waiting for permission to be in control of my own life.”
My arms went around her, tucking her into my embrace as I gently stroked a hand up and down her spine.
“Baby, you are in control of your life,” I said quietly.
“This thing with the car? It’s just a setback.
A lousy one, but life’s full of them.” I rested my chin lightly on her hair.
“And to be really blunt…it fucking sucks. You finally get your feet under you and say, ‘This is my choice,’ and a bunch of idiot teenagers go and crash a tow truck into the one thing that made you feel like you could move through the world on your own terms.”
A tight breath escaped her—almost a laugh, but not quite—as she pulled back to look at me.
“This doesn’t take your choice away.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You’re not trapped. You’re not back where you were.” I lifted a hand and gently ran the backs of my fingers down her cheek. “You’re just dealing with a shitty moment in a life that’s finally yours.”
Time felt like it was standing still as we stood there, locked in each other’s arms in the middle of Willy’s lot and caught in a moment of quiet—not for lack of anything left to say, but because I didn’t want the comfort I was offering to feel like it was an attempt to water down a very real response to a very fucked-up situation.
Moments later, she let out a shaky breath and gave me a sad smile before saying so quietly, “How do you do it?”
“Do what?” I asked.
“Always find a way to make me feel better,” she said, her voice catching a little on the words.
“I don’t make you do anything, Andi,” I said earnestly, holding her gaze as my palm curved around her jaw. “You let me.”
And as long as she kept letting me, I’d keep finding ways to show her that this—her choice, her life, her freedom—was hers and hers alone.
In words. In quiet gestures. In the simplest of touches.
I’d do whatever I could to help her realize that this world, as messy as it was, wasn’t holding her back unless she allowed it.
She curled back into me then, pressing her forehead to my chest and wrapping her arms tightly around my waist. And I held her back…because she let me.