Chapter 18
VIOLET
FINN AND I SPEND HALF an hour in the water. After treading water with me for a while, he starts bodysurfing, catching waves onto the shore. I am desperate to do the same, but I don’t dare try it in this stupid bikini. With my luck, the top will end up halfway down the beach.
Instead, I bob up along the waves, watching Finn ride them all the way to shore. He is brighter than the sun—so dazzling I want to scream. Tanned and muscled, with a gathering of thick, dark hair in the middle of his chest that trails down, down, down…
I snap myself out of it. This isn’t real, Violet, you idiot.
I decide I can watch him just fine from the shore, so I amble back to my towel, keen to work on my tan. I stop to pick up a tiny, round pink seashell, and bring it back to our spot on the beach, placing it carefully in the little pocket of my bag.
Finn eventually gets out to join me, so I get a full-length view of him getting out of the water, shimmering and wet.
Keen to avert my gaze, I turn to watch a group of kids building an enormous sandcastle.
Before we’d even arrived, they’d dug out a giant moat around the perimeter of an island, which will eventually sit in a pool of water when the tide comes in.
I stare, almost longingly, as half of them build a tall tower structure on the child-made island, while the rest of them work on refortifying the moat to build it even higher.
One of the kids is egging the others on, brandishing a long stick as if it’s a sword and yelling at the rest of the children to build the moat and, Defend our kingdom!
I shift in my spot on the towel where I’m sitting, almost anxiously. I really, really want to get in on this sandcastle frenzy. But I feel as though I’ve used up my allotted weirdness today while we were at Louisbourg. I can’t help it though, my eyes keep wandering over, completely enthralled.
Finn has noticed my wandering eyes, or at least the ruckus happening not far from us, and has flipped over to look at what’s happening. He tilts his head down, looking across the beach from over the top of his sunglasses.
Fuck that looks fun, he says, and I have to try really, really hard to suppress my smile. Should we join them?
I can’t quite explain the feeling that comes over me when he asks me this question. Something like excitement, or hope; I’m not entirely sure which. I take a deep breath and try to play it cool.
It does look like they’re having fun. But won’t that be a little odd, joining a bunch of kids we don’t know? Their parents aren’t even participating, I gesture to the group of about six adults, sitting on beach chairs a few feet away.
Finn thinks on this, making that hmmm noise again.
Or, we could build our own, he says, eyes dancing as he again tilts his head down to peer up from above his sunglasses. A rival kingdom.
We don’t have any buckets or shovels or anything, I say haltingly. I was so eager to get in on this, I’m not quite sure why I’m shying away now that Finn is interested.
I don’t see why we can’t use our hands, he says, and I try not to shiver at the way he says this, the thick timbre of his voice making the back of my neck tingle. Before I can reply, he’s standing up and holding his hand out to me. You’ve got to help me Violet, I cannot do this by myself.
He exaggerates the word, sounding more like cannae with his accent. His outstretched hand reminds me of him on the dock, asking me, without words, to take another leap. Some coiled up part of me loosens.
I take his hand again, and wish it was more begrudgingly.
I don’t like their moat, Finn says. They’ve spent too much time on that and not enough on the castle itself.
Soon, the two of us are elbows deep in sand, deciding to make a giant pile first and form it out later. We argue back and forth about the merits of a moat, and agree to a small one, but I have to reassure Finn several times that we won’t spend all of our time on it.
Once the castle starts getting really, really big, one of the kids from the rival kingdom wanders over to us. His salt-drenched hair is sticking up on all ends, and he’s smeared with streaks of sunscreen.
This is looking good! The boy says and Finn laughs loudly, smiling so big I feel my heart skip.
You could help us instead, Finn says, nodding over towards their sandcastle. Way better over here.
I kick sand at him. Finn!
Woah, are you like a knight or something? The kid is staring open-mouthed at Finn. I’ve never heard anybody talk like that.
Aye, indeed I am. Finn says this so seriously I burst out laughing.
Soon the boy, who can’t be older than nine or ten, has brought over a number of his friends—or family members, I’m not entirely sure—and they’re helping us sculpt out the giant castle.
The kid with the stick is raging, Finn whispers to me, motioning over to the former leader of the group, who only has one or two children to boss around now.
I feel bad, I say.
I don’t, he shrugs. We’ve got a good system over here. He gestures towards the giant structure, which is now getting finishing touches. One of the little girls is currently adorning the top with a pile of seaweed.
Asshole, I mutter to him under my breath, so the kids can’t hear me.
Finn gets a wild look in his eye that I haven’t seen yet. Without breaking his gaze from mine, he yells loudly, Knights! Someone has broken our castle’s defenses and stolen the princess!
What are you— but before I can finish the question, Finn has hauled me over his shoulder, and is carrying me towards the ocean.
Put me down! I shriek at him, slightly concerned about my bathing suit but secretly delighted by all of this.
I can hear, more than see, the gaggle of kids chasing us towards the ocean. Finn takes me about waist-deep before he launches me into the water.
I come up for air, sputtering, laughing, as the children yell at Finn from the shoreline, their words drowned out by the roaring of the waves. The kid with the stick has joined them now, and manages to usher them back over to their original kingdom.
I splash Finn, who is laughing, clearly pleased with himself. What the hell was that! You are such a freak, I say it without thinking and hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way.
Am I? He asks, eyes wild again. I thought I was a knight.
It occurs to me, here in the ocean, with this delightful, devastating man, that I am in deep, deep trouble.