Chapter 21
FINN
VIOLET’S MOUTH CRASHES INTO MINE, tasting like the lemon of whatever sweet beer she was drinking. I’m so gobsmacked, I have to plant my feet down harder to stop from rocking back from the force of her.
I’m trying to sort out what’s going on. There was a look of defiance on her face when she came towards me, and I’m certain she’s trying to prove something here, but—
But, I can’t string a single thought together when she melts into me.
She starts to pull away and we could leave it here, a nice, chaste little kiss, proving something I don’t understand yet.
Instinctively, I wrap a hand around her waist, pulling her closer instead. Open my mouth slightly more for her.
She makes this little gasp and fuck me I have to resist the urge to scoop her up, and drag her back to my cave like some kind of prehistoric beast. Violet makes me feel a possessiveness I’m not sure what to do with yet, other than give in to the need to have her close to me at all times.
Alba’s laugh comes across the clearing, Okay you two, we get it, you’ve made your point!
I’m not sure Violet hears her, since she doesn’t stop. This makes me smile, and she can feel that on her lips. This is what snaps her out of it—my smiling. She jumps back from me, hands in the air like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t be doing.
Sorry, I was—
Don’t be sorry, I say, hearing the growl in my own voice. Chill the fuck out, mate.
I was—
Tell me later, I say, reaching over to tuck the hair and the daisy, which has stayed there all evening, back securely behind her ear. Some hidden proof that I have any kind of claim on her.
She nods, dazed. Her mouth is red and swollen and—
Finn, I remind myself calmly, you’re in a bathing suit.
Right.
I wrap my arm around Violet’s shoulder, pulling her gently back in the direction of her friends.
Happy, you two? I ask and Alba looks positively fiendish. I’m a little afraid of what’s going to come out of her mouth. Florence is frowning slightly, but when her eyes meet mine, she attempts to plaster on a smile. She’s trying to be supportive, I think.
I leave Violet with her friends, but from behind me I hear Alba bark out a laugh at some comment I can’t hear.
A FEW HOURS LATER, VIOLET and I climb back into my brother’s Jeep.
Take it, Alistair had said earlier that night, handing the car keys back to me. You should keep it while you’re here. It’s impossible to get around without a car in Cape Breton.
You sure?
Aye. We’ve got Florence’s car and I can use the cruiser if I need to, Alistair had clapped me on the shoulder. Take Violet on some adventures. You should head up to Ingonish at some point.
What’s Mum going to get up to?
Alistair smiled at me, a kind smile, and said, She and Florence have many errands to run in town, so she’s well in hand. It’s like he could sense my guilt, and the relief.
Okay, yeah, thanks. Where’s Ingonish?
Alistair explained the spot on the northernmost tip of Cape Breton, driving through the highlands, the beach, the golfing—though I hate to golf–and a nice hike worth doing.
I had only wondered what, if any of it, might be of interest to Violet.
The air in this car feels like it’s crackling. It’s the first moment we’ve had alone since that kiss.
I say nothing at first, turning on the Jeep and pulling out of the driveway, steering us back onto the main road.
So about that kiss… I start and I can feel the tension radiate from her already, not sure entirely if it’s good or bad.
I got totally cornered, she wails, reminding me of that night in the bar. It makes me smile—god, I’ve taken a fancy to her. Violet continues, You were right, we should have been better prepared.
I laugh and encourage her to tell me what happened. She recounts the prodding from Alba, the need to prove that we had already kissed—that we’d been kissing all day. It feels like a precious secret, being in on this scheme with her.
Thanks for going along with it, she says.
Any time, I say, smirking. And mean it. She blushes a little at this, looking down at her lap.
You can back out too, you know. Or change your mind, she says, a little sheepishly.
The fuck would I want to do that for? The words are out of my mouth, a little more arsehole than I mean to sound. But truly, what the hell is she on about?
She shrugs, like she knows something I don’t.
I’m just saying, if this is too weird, if—
No.
Finn, come on, if—
No.
She looks at me then, and smiles this big, radiant smile that makes me feel light-headed.
Stop it.
She lives across the Atlantic Ocean and across the entirety of Canada.
I could move.
No, you couldn’t, your Mum is in Scotland, remember?
I force myself out of this insane, internal back and forth I’m having by asking Violet, What are you doing the rest of the week?
I’m already desperate for more time with her.
Fuck off!
I have literally no idea, she says, chuckling to herself, but I’m not sure what the joke is. I’m not making a lot of plans these days.
Well, would you like to make some?
This week? Forever? Good god man, give it a fucking rest.
What did you have in mind?
I tell her about my plan: that we start the morning off with a hike and then spend the second half of the day at the beach. I don’t offer up golfing because frankly, I won’t be doing that. And I don’t think Violet would like it anyway.
It’s about two hours to get to Ingonish, so we’ll have to leave pretty early.
I can do early, she says. But, Finn, we spent the whole day together. You don’t have to spend so much time with me because of our… arrangement.
Arrangement? I ask her, grinning fiendishly.
You know what I mean, she says, blushing. Shouldn’t you be spending time with your brother who you came here to see?
I don’t quite know how to explain to Violet the undercurrent of tension between my brother and I. Thankfully, in this case I don’t need to, since I have a solid excuse.
He’s still working until closer to the wedding, and besides, I’m not spending time with you just because we’re pretending to date. We had fun today, and Allie’s already been to all these places. I need someone to come see it fresh with me.
She can’t seem to meet my eye, but nods in agreement all the same.
I park the car back in front of our two cabins, side by side. A team.
Violet, I say, feeling like I need to reassure her. I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad we’re in this pretend relationship together, and I’m very glad it means I get to spend more time with you. All right?
I hate that part of her thinks I’m only doing this for my own personal gain.
All right, she says, sounding like she might believe me—only tentatively. But let me check with Alba, I think she mentioned something about a sandbar tomorrow.
All right, I’m sure we’ll find a day when everyone else is working.
I step out of the car and walk around to help her down from the large step from the Jeep to the ground.
I have such an impulse to kiss her goodnight, but I don’t think I’m allowed to do that. It feels like crossing a line, but the urge to do it is still there.
Now that I’ve had a taste of her, it feels only natural to reach out for more.
This is not real, Finn, I remind myself. It’s practice, so when the time comes you can get it right.
But it does mean that I can’t kiss her whenever I want to—that realization makes it feel like there’s metal in my mouth. I hate it.
So instead, I clear my throat and say, See you tomorrow, Violet.