Chapter Thirty-Four
[LIVE] EXPLORE FOLLOWING FRIENDS FOR YOU
ViralVideosTranscribed
two weeks ago
FRANKENSTEIN FEMINIST GETS HER TIRAMISU AT LAST – AND BAGS HOT NEW BLOKE!!!
LC:… And just so you know, I will never, ever wash your pants and—
Waiter 1: Sorry to interrupt, Ms Carpenter, we just wanted to say we hope you’ve enjoyed your dinner. We’re so glad to have you back here.
LC: You guys are so nice. Sorry about, er, the last time…
Waiter 2: There’s no need to apologise. In fact, it brought in a lot of business for us.
Hot Bloke: The dinner was lovely, thank you. And Liv won’t stop going on about your cheesecake, so I had to check it out for myself.
Unknown: Excuse me! Hiya! Sorry! Can I get your autograph, Liv?
I’m a big fan! [clears throat] ‘I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. I AM FRANKENSTEINNNNNNNNNNNNNN!’ That was brilliant, that was!
LC: Er, thank you very much.
*scratch of pen on paper*
Unknown: Thank you so much! Do you think you’ll ever be back on Morning Tea? It’s rubbish without you. Both the guys they got to replace you sucked, especially this latest one.
Hot Bloke: [clears throat] Awkward.
LC: [laughing a lot] No, I don’t think so. But never say never. They have invited me back as a guest a few times now, but I prefer Woman’s Hour these days. There are some brilliant people that work on Morning Tea though. Particularly in the make-up room.
Unknown: Can I just quickly ask you something about my partner? They’re—
LC: It was really lovely talking to you, but I’m going to get back to my dinner.
Unknown: Oh right, yeah, of course!
LC: I will say that you seem like a brilliant person, and it’s easy to forget that when you have a lot of hormones rushing around – not to mention all of society crushing you with their expectations and opinions – so remember who you are and make sure you like the person you are when you’re with them.
Unknown: Wow, that’s amazing. I will.
LC: And I think everyone could benefit from some therapy. I certainly did – and still do.
Unknown: Thank you Franken— er, Liv. Bye guys.
Hot Bloke: [murmuring] Nice boundary setting. God, you’re brilliant. Shall we get some cheesecake?
Waiter 2: If I may, we actually do have some tiramisu on the menu this evening.
LC: No way!
*sound of chair scraping*
Waiter 2: Er, madam? I appreciate the hug, but there’s really no need.
LC: Sorry.
Hot Bloke: Two tiramisus, please!
Waiter 2: No problem.
*sound of waiter walking away followed by the sound of lots of kissing*
[watch again?]
“everyone could benefit from therapy”
#FrankensteinFeminist #TiramisuGirl #CheesecakeGirl #Hilarious #LivCarpenter #BBCMorningTea #RelationshipTherapist #PublicMeltdown #PublicFreakout #FunnyVids #InternetRedemption #TGIFridaysHasTiramisu #StillDontKnowWhatTiramisuIs #HotNewBoyfriend #SexyHair #WhatShampooDoesHeUse
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