Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
Violet
“Do you guys want some cookies?” I asked, looking between them as I held up the package.
I could feel that things were already different between us, but I didn’t want to let things get awkward.
That was the last thing I wanted. Even though Asher and I had already crossed a line, I wanted things to go back to how they felt before that happened.
While I was appreciative of him making me come and how my body was still humming with pleasure, I didn’t want to risk losing the friendship that had already come to mean so much to me.
“Sure, I would love one,” Enzo said, taking one and then leaning back against the cushion as he ate it.
I turned my attention to Asher as I pulled my shoulders down and forced a smile onto my face.
I hated how nervous I felt under his gaze.
Something flickered in his eyes, as if he was recognizing what was happening inside of me.
It wasn’t the first time it had happened, and though I couldn’t prove it, it was like he had this ability to read my mind without me saying anything.
He was always in tune with what I was thinking or feeling, which made it impossible to hide anything from him.
“Don’t do that,” he whispered with a slight shake of his head.
Shoot. This was really going to happen. He was going to force me to talk about what happened in the bathroom.
“Don’t offer you a cookie?” I asked, my voice hitching and giving me away as I tried to play dumb.
He licked his lips, and I looked away, the rush of heat prickling my skin washing over me. But unfortunately, all I found was Enzo giving me the same look from the other side. I held my breath and counted to five before I pushed it out between my puckered lips.
“If what happened in the bathroom has made you uncomfortable or—” he started before I turned back to face him and shook my head.
“It didn’t,” I stammered, feeling the weight of the lie on my tongue.
While it had felt amazing and I wanted to do that again, I had felt uncomfortable looking Asher in the eyes afterward.
But it wasn’t because I didn’t want him to do it.
I was embarrassed because I had allowed it to happen without knowing how he felt about everything.
While he seemed like a willing participant, I couldn’t stop wondering if he had done it just to be nice.
“If things are going to work between us, it’s important that we have open, honest conversations,” Asher said gently.
“It’s okay if you felt uncomfortable, Vi.
I just need to know, because I don’t want to cross any lines with you that leave you feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable. That is never my intention.”
“You didn’t. I asked you to do it. I gave you permission to touch...”
I pressed my lips together and looked down as Enzo’s hand rested on mine, stopping it from shaking.
“Just because you gave permission doesn’t mean that you have to allow things to happen if you don’t want them to.
” Asher tilted his head to the side as if trying to read what I wasn’t saying.
“It’s okay to be open with us, Vi. We want to know everything you’re thinking.
We want to talk things out and make sure you’re okay. ”
“I liked it,” I whispered, looking down at my hands instead of at them.
“But?” Enzo asked, his hand still holding mine.
“But I don’t know what to do about it.”
“What do you mean?” Asher asked.
I had both of their attention, whether I wanted it or not.
“I’ve never done something like that before. Anytime I’ve done stuff, it’s always been with a boyfriend. I don’t know how to process the fact that I let you do what you did or that I wanted Enzo to watch.”
My shoulders fell heavily with the breath I released.
They were both so silent for so long that I looked up to see if they were still there, even though Enzo’s hand hadn’t left mine.
“I think a lot of people place value on being with someone you trust when it comes to sexual activities,” Asher said softly.
“And I think a lot of the time, that looks like being in a relationship with someone. Having that relationship feels like a safe zone to explore things because you’re committed to that person and have established that trust.”
I nodded, relief easing my worries knowing that he understood where I was coming from.
“I know that we’re not in a relationship, so this is unnerving for you,” he continued.
“But Violet, I hope that you know that just because we don’t have the label of being in a relationship, that doesn’t change how Enzo and I feel about this.
We respect you and want nothing but for you to be happy and feel loved.
If you need a relationship to make this feel—”
“You don’t have to do that,” I rushed out, worried that they were going to tell me that they weren’t the relationship type of guys. I knew they could have any woman they wanted; I wasn’t na?ve enough to think that it would be me. “I’m not asking for—”
“It’s okay to ask for it,” Enzo said, cutting me off. “If being in a relationship makes you feel safe and secure to explore the things you want to explore, by all means, we’re down.”
I let out a nervous laugh as I saw Asher nod in agreement.
“I... you guys...” I pressed my lips together and begged my brain to work so I could figure out what to say. “I don’t even know how that would work. I know you guys have mentioned that you like sharing women, but I don’t know how that works either. Is it getting hot in here?”
I fanned myself to try to cool the heat that was radiating off of me in waves while my heart raced.
Asher leaned in, pinching my chin gently between his fingers as he turned my head to face his.
Before I could think about what was happening, his lips feathered lightly over mine.
I started to pull back, not because I wanted him to stop kissing me, but because I didn’t want this conversation to get out of control and for them to feel like they needed to do something they didn’t want to.
But instead of letting go, Asher cradled my head in his hand and deepened the kiss.
My lips parted, allowing his tongue access.
A shiver ran through me, and I felt my body relax.
The more he kissed me, the more I felt myself slipping into a comfort with him that I hadn’t known before.
His kiss wasn’t just soft and gentle; it was soothing and a promise that he would always take care of me, however I needed.
He slowly pulled back, breaking the kiss as his eyes searched mine.
He licked his lips, as if needing to taste me again, as he leaned back against the couch and glanced at Enzo.
I turned to apologize to him, but before I could say anything, he wrapped his hand around the back of my head and brushed his lips over mine.
I felt dizzy with affection as he continued to kiss me, making me want more as a moan slipped out.
Asher chuckled beside us, and I felt myself smiling on the inside because they literally did not seem to mind that they had both kissed me within minutes of each other.
I guess they really did like sharing. A few minutes later, much to my disappointment, Enzo pulled away and chewed his bottom lip as he stared at me.
I ran a finger across my lips, feeling the slight swelling and knowing that it was well worth it. They were both amazing kissers, and I found myself still wanting more.
“So what now?” I asked, feeling a little unsure as I looked between them.
“That’s up to you,” Enzo said. “What do you want to happen now?”
I shrugged as a blush washed over me. I glanced at Enzo and noticed his raised eyebrow.
“Noted,” he replied with a wink. “But other than that, what do you want this thing between the three of us to look like. Do you want to continue being friends who do stuff when you want to? Or do you want this to be something more than that?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I like what we’ve been doing, but I don’t know how I feel about doing anything else right now. This is all still so new to me that I don’t know what it’s supposed to look like.”
“It can look however we want it to look,” Asher said with a smile.
“No one can define what we are unless we allow them to. This can be whatever you want and need it to be. Even if you don’t want the label of a relationship, you should know that neither of us is seeing anyone else, nor do we plan to. The only girl we want is you.”
“I just want you guys,” I admitted, loving the way they both looked at me when I said it. “I know that I’m not as experienced as you guys are, but I hope that maybe you’ll be willing to go slow as I figure some of this out.”
I pulled in a deep breath and held it while I waited for their answer.
“I’m not in a rush for anything,” Enzo said. “I want whatever you’re willing to give me, Vi, even if that’s just your friendship. Though I do like kissing you, so maybe that too.”
His grin widened as he waggled his eyebrows at me.
“Same. I want your friendship and some kissing. Maybe some touching now that I know how your body reacts to me,” Asher replied, his eyes darkening slightly as if remembering what he’d done to me in the tub.
“Kissing is definitely on the list of things we’ll be doing,” I said with a laugh that felt wonderfully natural. “Touching is good, too. Especially if it ends the way it did earlier.”
“I’ve never been as jealous as I am right now,” Enzo muttered playfully.
“Don’t be a baby,” Asher scolded. “Just because she likes me better and let me play with her doesn’t mean you have to pout about it.”
I opened my mouth to object, but stopped and narrowed my eyes at Asher when I realized he was trying to rile Enzo up.
“You’re bad,” I hissed, shaking my head.
“Yeah, but you like it.”
I nodded in agreement because there was no denying that. Before I could stop it, a yawn snuck out, reminding me how tired I actually was.
“You should get some rest,” Enzo said, nodding to the eye mask that I forgot was sitting on my head. “I think we should get matching ones to seal the deal on our new friendship.”
I scrunched my nose at him and took it off.
“Make fun of me now, but when I wake up looking refreshed and well rested, you’ll wish you had one.”
“Trust me, I already do,” he said, reaching his hand out to see it.
I passed it to him, smiling when he frowned and flipped it around to see what it was.
“It’s eyelashes,” I explained. “It’s supposed to look like you’re sleeping.”
He slid the pink mask over his eyes, and I giggled, loving how ridiculous he looked.
“How do I look?” he asked.
“Like an asshole wearing a pink eye mask,” Asher responded with a grin.
“Hey, I have plenty. I’ll give you one, too.” I turned and looked at him.
“I don’t think I can rock the eyelashes,” Asher said with a wink. “I’ll leave that to you.”
“They don’t all have eyelashes. The others have sayings on them.”
“What kind of sayings?” Enzo asked as he took it off and gave it back to me.
“I don’t remember off hand, but I can go grab them. Then you guys can choose which one you want to wear tonight,” I teased.
“That’s okay. We can check them out tomorrow,” Enzo said. “But it’s getting late, so we should all get some sleep.”
They got up, and Asher took the cookies from me and returned them to the pantry along with the chips. We walked down the hallway, and I stopped at my door, giving them a big smile before going inside.
“Goodnight,” I said. “Sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight, Vi,” Enzo replied. “Get some rest.”
“I will now that I have this,” I teased, holding up the eye mask. “I haven’t slept well in weeks, so I’m hoping this helps.”
Asher rubbed his lips together as he fought the grin spreading across his face.
“What?” I asked, my eyebrow raising. “What’s that grin for?”
“Nothing.” He held his hands up in front of him, playing innocent.
“Say it,” I pressed with a laugh. “You’re making fun of my eye mask, aren’t you?”
I put my hand on my hip and waited him out as Enzo watched us with a playful look on his face as if he enjoyed this as much as I did.
“I’ll have you know that eye masks help because they decrease the light and make you fall into a deeper sleep. There are scientific studies about it. I’ve been wearing one for a few nights now, and I already feel more relaxed than I have in days. I’m going to sleep like a baby tonight.”
Asher leaned in close enough that I could smell the light scent of his cologne and then whispered loud enough for Enzo to hear.
“Call me crazy, but I think that might be the effects of the orgasm I gave you and not the mask.”
He pulled away as I let out a soft gasp. Hearing him say the word sent a jolt straight through my body, recalling the pleasure he had brought to it a few hours ago.
“Sweet dreams, Vi,” Asher said over his shoulder with a smirk before heading into his room and closing the door as Enzo laughed and headed for his room.
I closed mine and stared at the mask in my hand, knowing that he was right. It wasn’t the mask that was going to help me sleep well tonight. It was him.