Chapter 48
Forty-Eight
Enzo
My mind was racing as I cleaned up dinner, letting Violet’s words play over and over in my head. She had been upset at the mention of her birthday, so we gave her some space when she said she wanted to rest in her room. I hated that for once, I didn’t know what to do to make her feel better.
“What do we do?” Asher said, loading dishes into the dishwasher while I put the last of the food in the fridge.
“I don’t know.”
“I knew her mom died when she was young, but I never knew that it happened on her birthday.”
“I know. I didn’t either.” I closed the fridge and leaned against it. “I can’t imagine how hard that had to have been for her growing up.”
“Same. Add on a strained relationship with her father, and the poor girl has been all by herself.”
I nodded in agreement, letting everything process.
“I want to make her feel special every day, but fuck, I really want to celebrate her on her birthday,” Asher continued. “I want her to know how much we love her and make her feel like the most loved person on the planet.”
“I agree. But we can’t force her to celebrate if she doesn’t want to.
Her pain is something only she knows, so we can’t pretend to understand what she’s been through.
She’s been doing this for fourteen years without her mom; we can’t just sweep in and change things because we want to show her we love her. ”
“You’re right. We need to take a step back and see what she needs.”
“I think we need to give her some more time before we go pepper her with questions about this. Who knows, she may not want to talk about this with us.”
“I really hope that doesn’t happen. We have such a good thing with her. I don’t want to lose it.”
“I don’t want to either,” I said. “But if we love her like we say we do, we have to step back and let her guide us on how she wants to handle this. If she doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday, we’re not going to make her.”
Asher pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded. I knew he hated the idea of not celebrating her as much as I did.
We were sitting on the couch, messing around on our phones, when Violet came out of her room an hour later.
Her eyes were red as if she had been crying, but neither of us questioned her about it.
She sat down beside me and leaned into my chest as I lifted my arm to wrap it around her.
Without saying anything, I pressed a kiss to her forehead and scrolled my social media feed.
“I’m sorry for earlier,” she said softly, getting Asher’s attention from the chair across from us.
“You never need to apologize about how you feel,” I replied, giving her a gentle squeeze.
“Seriously, Vi, never apologize to us about stuff like that,” Asher agreed. “Our only concern is making sure you’re okay.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.” She buried her head deeper into my chest so I just held her and comforted her the best I could.
Twenty minutes passed without anyone speaking. Finally, Violet sat up and let out a long, calming breath.
“My dad tried to keep up with doing the stuff my mom used to do for my birthday after she died, but it was too much. I knew that my birthday reminded him of what he’d lost. Of what we lost. Eventually, he just stopped trying, and I was okay with that because I would rather that he forget my birthday than resent me because it was the day she died. ”
“That sucks, Violet. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the pain of losing someone so close to you on your birthday,” I said.
“By the time I turned sixteen, he had started drinking heavily. So much so that I couldn’t remember a time when he was ever sober.
He lost several jobs because of his drinking, and when he couldn’t make ends meet anymore, he started using the money from my mom’s life insurance policy that was supposed to go to me when I turned eighteen. ”
Asher put his phone down and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he listened. I held her hand, hoping she felt the love and comfort I desperately wanted to give her.
“I haven’t celebrated my birthday since I was twelve.
My mother died the morning of my thirteenth birthday.
She was in a car accident coming home from the store with the stuff to make my cake and a few gifts.
We were so devastated that day that I never opened my presents.
My dad put them aside and then gave them to me the next year, thinking that I wouldn’t notice that they were the unopened gifts from that day. ”
She stopped and sniffled as tears ran down her face.
“I can still see the pink wrapping paper with tiny purple and blue butterflies. My mother always took her time picking out things for my birthday and paid attention to all the details others might not have noticed. After my twelfth birthday, I fell in love with butterflies. I had been obsessed with them the whole year. So it didn’t surprise me that she would pick wrapping paper with them, because that was just who she was.
She loved unconditionally and deeply. It’s a love that I haven’t felt again. .. until...”
She lowered her head and shook it as I wrapped my arms around her. Asher got up and sat on the other side of her, holding her tightly as we held her between us while she cried.
“I’ve spent so many years focusing on what I lost that day that when you guys said you wanted to celebrate my birthday, I panicked.
I haven’t had anyone who wanted to celebrate it since my mom, and I don’t know what to do with that.
It’s not easy to think about celebrating myself on a day when she died. I don’t know how to do that.”
“I get that,” Asher said as we pulled away slightly to give her some space. “No one will ever know what you’ve gone through, and no matter how much we want to, we will never be able to take that pain from you.”
Violet sucked in a shaky breath, her eyes red and swollen.
“But if you decide that you want to celebrate your birthday this year, we would love nothing more than to celebrate with you,” he added.
“You can choose how we celebrate.” I squeezed her hand gently.
“If you want us to go all out and do all the things your mom used to do—you got it. We would love that. If that’s too hard and you want something else, we’re okay with that, too.
Just let us know how you’re feeling, and we can help however we’re needed. ”
“We just want to celebrate the incredible woman that we love.” Asher flashed her a cheeky grin, making her smile.
“You guys don’t have to go all out like my mom used to. I’m not a kid anymore.” She laughed, but I could hear the sadness in it.
“You don’t have to be a kid to like certain things. If you want us to try to do what she used to do, we’re fully on board,” I said.
She took a deep breath and slowly released it.
“Can I think about it and let you know?”
“Absolutely. Anything you want, my love.” I kissed her cheek and felt something settle in my chest, reminding me that there was absolutely nothing that I wouldn’t do for her.