Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
OAK
I'd seen Teddie and Hel enter the company office building from the front seat of my car. Was she was aware he had his hand close to her back? Wanting to touch her but not stepping over that invisible line?
A line, knowing him as well as I did, he considered imaginary.
Fuck that.
There was nothing imaginary about it. That line was a hundred percent there. If I could draw it, it would resemble a big circle, all the way around her. A six-foot-tall, circular brick wall, if I had my way. A tower would work perfectly. One with one door in and out. The only person with a key? Me.
I let out a frustrated breath. Okay, I didn't want to lock her away, I'm not that fucked up. Mostly.
No, I wanted her to realize I existed. I wanted to go back to the night at Vertical and do it over again. Change the ending.
What would I do differently, though? I didn't fucking know. Would I do what she’d wanted? Fuck her up against that car? It would have been so easy. Should have been so fucking easy. If those assholes hadn't interrupted…
Except I knew why they did. I wanted to, but couldn't hate them for it. Not when they knew what would have happened if I'd given in. Lost control. Fucked her when she had no idea who I was. Even now that she did, I didn't think I could give it to her. But I wanted to. Badly.
So fucking much, I spent every night since she moved in, with my hand wrapped around my cock. I fell asleep that way and woke up with my fingers cramped. My balls so tight they hurt.
The other day, when I threatened to find out for myself if she was wearing panties, I knew she wouldn't let me. There was no risk in a threat like that. None to me, anyway. It was empty, like my soul.
She couldn't know that though. It pissed her off. The flash of anger in her eyes…
"You're a fuck-up,” I said to myself.
I ignored the woman who walked past me and finished my maintenance check on the security of the grocery store.
Everything was in working order. The only person who was getting past this system was me.
Maybe Hel. He knew this shit as well as I did.
Fade liked to think he did but he knew jack shit.
He was the numbers guy. He should stick to that.
Asshole. He thought I didn't know what he did last night with my woman.
I knew. What he did almost fucking killed me. It should've been me getting her off. If it wasn't for…
"Is everything okay?" Rachel, the owner of the grocery store, appeared in front of me, her pixie face looking up at me. She was cute enough but she wasn't Teddie. Not to mention, her boyfriend was almost as big as me. That was trouble I didn’t need.
"Yes, everything is in perfect working order.” I closed the panel and turned it back on. "You shouldn't have any trouble with it."
"I never have yet," she said cheerfully. "I don't know what we'd do without Egger Security."
"Probably paying protection money to the local mafia," I said, my expression deadpan.
There were a couple of gangs in Saltgrave Cove, but not the mafia.
I'd say ‘not that I knew of,’ but I was certain they weren't operating here.
Hel would never allow them to. Fade would probably annoy them to the point where they either killed him or left the city.
The first one was more likely, I supposed.
Rachel giggled. "Then it's a very good thing you're around to keep us safe from them. Although, I've heard there's some hot mafia guys around."
"What do you know about hot mafia guys?" I asked curious in spite of myself.
She responded by giving me a wink and walking off to serve a customer.
Probably better that I didn't get an answer to that question.
Either she was related to them, or she read a lot of dark romance books.
Yeah, I saw the ones Fade read. Not that I read them myself but I knew they were full of controlling men and assholes. All with big cocks.
Now I thought about it, we might be a bit like them, except we didn't go around taking out hits on people. Usually.
I pulled out my phone to log the job and look on the schedule for the next one.
While I usually spent my nights as a guard, sometimes I took on the maintenance work.
It kept me busy. If I was busy, Hel couldn't ask to give me a promotion like he did every other month.
He wanted me to be his COO. I wanted nothing to do with it.
I didn't want to be in the public eye like he was.
Fuck that. I didn't need or want to be noticed. The background was safer.
"I know I shouldn't ask, but here we are."
I swore under my breath. I knew that voice.
I turned to look at Teddie. She stood with one hand on her hip, her head cocked.
I wanted to grab a handful of her hair and… Honestly, the options from that point on were wide open. Push her to her knees so she could suck my cock. Pull her to me so I could kiss her. Yank her hair until she cried out with pain…
I shoved all of the possibilities out of my brain. "What are you not asking?"
"I'm not asking if you're okay and why you're grumbling to yourself," she said.
“Good, because you shouldn't," I said, not snapping at her, just responding.
"Because you're fine?" She straightened her head and looked at me. The daylight picked up the gold in her eyes, along with the disbelief.
"Yes," I said. "Why wouldn't I be fine?" If she was trying to psychoanalyze me, I was going to lose my shit. And by that I mean turn and walk away.
"I can think of a few reasons," she said. "For example, you live with Fade Mitchell. And, to a lesser extent, Hel Egger."
I squinted at her. "How do you figure I live with Hel to a lesser extent than Fade?"
She burst out laughing. I hated the thud in my chest, the response to seeing her smile. I needed to turn that off right now. Ignore it. Make it go away.
“No, I mean he's slightly more harmless than Fade. Or…less annoying anyway." She wrinkled her nose, which was cuter than it should have been.
I wanted to count the freckles on her face. I told myself I absolutely didn't want to lick them but I did.
"You don't know them very well," I pointed out.
"Are you saying Hel is annoying when you get to know him?" she asked. "Or are you trying to tell me Fade isn't as annoying as he lets on?"
I closed my eyes for a moment. “He's that annoying and more. Fade, I mean. Annoying isn't a word I'd used to describe Hel."
"What word would you use then?" She reached under the collar of her shirt to adjust her bra strap.
“Hel is difficult," I said. "He's very…" I searched for the right words.
"Intense?" she suggested. "Focused? Driven?"
"All of those," I agreed. "Can we stop talking about them now?"
"That depends, are you ready to talk about yourself?" She looked at me side on.
"You don't want to know about me," I said. "I'm not interesting.” I wasn't boring either, but I didn't want to share my innermost self. Nothing would turn her off faster.
"That's a matter of opinion," she said.
That stupid thumping in my chest happened again.
Fuck off, I grumbled at it. She was mine, I'd told her that much.
That didn't mean I was going to fall in love with her.
You could own someone without loving them.
Right? It wasn't as if she was going to love me in return.
We were like Beauty and the Beast except I was all beast, no handsome prince to turn into.
"You think I'm interesting?" I asked, letting my disbelief show on my face. That was better than vulnerability. Better than hoping she gave a shit.
“If I answer that you might get a big head," she said, looking cagey. Did her eyes have to smile like that?
"So you do think I'm interesting." I didn't know what to think. Did I want to be interesting? The word made me sound like a specimen in a jar on someone's shelf. I might have left specimens of myself in a jar, but I didn't want to have my whole body inside one.
No, I'm not telling that story right now. It's exactly what it sounds like.
"You know what, I should go." She went to step around me, into the grocery store.
“Wait," I ordered, before she could go inside. "Come with me.” I left no room for argument, but to be honest, I knew she'd argue anyway. It seemed to be her default mode. Not putting up with shit from anyone.
"Give me one good reason why I should," she said. "It's not today's rule that I have to go where you tell me to go."
I made a mental note to make that tomorrow's rule.
I knew full well what today's was. She couldn't touch herself. Fade’s idea, because he knew what that stupid movie would do to her.
Teddie wasn't shy about fucking. He knew that and used it against her.
Used it to make her so horny she'd wanted him to touch her.
I knew all of that because I'd walked past. I stopped to listen. Peered through the doorway and heard. Maybe not everything but enough. I hated him for doing it, but I hated myself more for not having the guts to step in and watch. To join them. To even think of doing what he’d done.
I should have been the one to think of it first. How was I supposed to show her she was mine when he did shit like that?
Asshole.
"Because you need to eat," I said finally. "It's time for lunch if you hadn't noticed. I'm buying."
I gestured for her to walk ahead of me away from the grocery store before I fell in beside her.
Leading her down the street to my favorite restaurant, Heartbeets.
Yes, they served beets, but also other things.
Most of it good for the heart, some of it good for the soul.
Or so they said. I was all about putting good things into my body.
Why bother trying to nurture a soul that didn't exist?
"Do they serve real food here or stuff rabbits eat?" she asked.
If I was Fade, I'd threaten to put her over my knee for that question and the tone of voice she asked it in. Hel, he'd look at her before stepping into the restaurant with her.
Trying to channel both of them, I opened the door and gestured for her to step in first, not dignifying her question with an answer.
She glanced up at me but stepped into the restaurant and over to the table when the server handed us menus and told us where to sit.
"This doesn't look so bad," she said, her gaze scrolling down the menu.
"It's not," I said. I'd already chosen, the same thing I always had when I came here.
A fresh fruit smoothie with no ice cream, and a wrap with grilled chicken and fresh vegetables.
Everything grown and sourced locally. The owners had a garden on the roof of the building, including a greenhouse.
If they didn't grow it, they got it from within an hour away from the city.
No preservatives, nothing nasty. Just good healthy food that tasted good.
"Can I take your order?" the server asked stopping beside the table.
"We'll have two chicken wraps, and kale smoothies," I said before Teddie could open her mouth. I took the menu from her hand and gave them both to the server while she stared at me, irritated.
I looked back at her, unwavering. I wasn't going to apologize for ordering from her. She'd like what I picked and I'd like to watch her eat it. I wanted her to wrap her mouth around what I'd chosen for her. I wanted to watch her lips around the paper straw as she sucked her smoothie.
I wanted to imagine her mouth was around my cock, but this would do. For now.
"So you know, I'm capable of ordering my own food," she said.
I leaned back in my chair and rolled my shoulders. "I don't care."
"I'm starting to think you're as annoying as Fade." She shook out her napkin and placed it over her lap before pouring herself a glass of water from the jug in the center of the table.
"Think again," I said simply. "He’s on a whole other level. All I want is what's best for you."
I probably earned the skeptical look she gave me before she took a sip of her water and looked out the window at the cars driving past.
If she was going to give me the silent treatment, it was going to be a long lunch.