CHAPTER 44 LOVE, INTERRUPTION
LOVE, INTERRUPTION
Orchid
Orchid walked Uptown, head bent against the cold. There was no way she was going into the subway system and board a train after what she’d just learned.
Missing leg? She realized that it didn’t change her feelings for him. Of course, it shouldn’t matter. How little credit did he give their relationship to hide that from her?
Her resolve withered when she imagined the full extent of his injuries. Then, she was angry for even pausing. He’s still Phoenix, right?
How had he kept all this from her while she was in China?
Not for the first time, she reexamined the time they were apart.
She’d been climbing the Great Wall while he was immobile in a hospital bed, trying to protect her with silence.
She’d cherished his protectiveness, but now it seemed like his Achilles heel.
She found herself at Mandy’s building. The doorman called her friend’s apartment, then sent Orchid up.
Mandy opened the door dressed in stretchy leggings and an oversized T-shirt.
Mandy glanced at Orchid’s bandaged forehead. “Did you get in a bar brawl or have you taken up wrestling?”
Orchid hugged her friend. “Long story. How are things with you?”
Mandy guided her through the warm apartment. “Oh, we’re all good. Same old. Hubby’s worried about his job, as usual. Part-time daycare’s going fine, when it’s not closed for snow days, that is.”
“Yeah, heck of a winter, huh?”
Mandy patted the barstool nearest the kitchen and then grabbed a wine bottle from the fridge.
Orchid felt a little better in the familiar chaos. “Where’s Matty?” she asked, and reached for two crystal stems.
“Down for his nap. Hopefully, he’ll sleep for a while. So, what’s up with you?” Mandy filled the glasses high, commensurate with how rattled Orchid looked.
“My company wants me to move to China.”
“No way! Congratulations, right? But you know you can’t leave me.”
“Don’t worry. There’s at least two trips home a year.”
“Cool, so why are you not sounding excited?”
“Phoenix,” Orchid said with a sigh.
“Weren’t my orders for you to move on?”
“Yeah, except it’s not what I thought,” Orchid said. “He didn’t call me because he was in a train accident and didn’t want me to worry, or he thought I’d reject him or something stupid like that.”
“Train accident? Sounds serious. Is he okay?”
“Hard to say. He looks okay. He looks good, actually. I’ve only seen him a few times since I came back. Remember at that holiday party? I guess I was so focused on the girl he was all wrapped around that I didn’t notice much else.”
“Yeah, what happened with that girl?”
“Turns out I misunderstood. That was his admin, and they weren’t dating.” Orchid took a sip then replaced her glass onto the counter. “So, my boss took me to a party at his agency.”
“You go, girl.”
“Only when I see him, I look down and realize he’s missing his hand.”
“Oh, no!”
“Yeah, poor guy, right?”
“Yeah, and poor you. How are you feeling about all this?”
“Stupid sensitive me. I had a minor freakout. But then, I was so worried for him, like did it hurt, was he okay. Then I thought that maybe that was why he stopped talking to me and he just needed to see that we’re still good together, and we can make it all right again.”
“Sounds good. And if that were the case, I’m guessing you wouldn’t look so glum, right?”
“You know me too well. So, it gets complicated. Phoenix’s not returning my calls, so I went to see his brother to ask for his help.”
“You’ve got me on the edge of my seat here. Hot brother willing to help out?”
“I dunno,” Orchid said, “except he tells me that the accident took his leg, too.”
“What? Oh my god! That’s messed up.”
“I know. I feel terrible that this happened to him. And I wasn’t even around when he was going through all this. And then, he doesn’t even want to tell me. He kept it secret for six months. Just from me, ‘cause he thinks I’m a total dolt.”
“Aw, Orchid. You’re not a dolt. He knows about what happened to your parents?”
“Yeah, I think that’s why he didn’t want to tell me. Plus, I freaked over a cut on my foot with him once. He knows I don’t watch the news. And I couldn’t look at pictures of injured soldiers, and . . .” Her voice trailed off realizing how damning the evidence must have appeared to him.
“Hey, just curious here, how could you not tell before? About his leg?”
“Well, he walks perfectly fine. He was wearing pants, and you really can’t tell anything’s different. After I found out about his arm, I looked it up online. With adaptations, he can probably do what he wants.”
“Holy crap, this is unbelievable. Are you okay, honey?”
“I’m okay. He’s the strong one. I can’t believe everything he must’ve been through. And here’s the kicker. Last time I saw him, I called my cut hideous and disfiguring.” Orchid pointed towards the bandage on her forehead. “He walked out.”
“Uh-oh.”
Her own part in this began to dawn on her.
“You know what sucks? I can be pissed at him for thinking he gets to decide what happens to us. But, honestly? I’m pissed at myself too.
I thought I had it down pat. Avoid anything unpleasant.
Don’t read the paper; don’t watch the news.
Live my sheltered life working in beauty. ”
“Who could blame you?”
“I do. I thought I was smart keeping myself safe. Now it’s cost me any chance with Phoenix. Life is messy, and I need to grow up and face that. Otherwise, he was right all along.”
“You want messy? Come by next time Matty has a blowout diaper.”
Orchid swilled her wine, and stood. “That one’s all yours, hon, I have my own mess to deal with.”
At home, Orchid pried open her laptop and typed in her password. The information from Caleb didn’t reconcile with her perception of Phoenix. He moved with fluidity and grace. He’d sprinted to her side and held her when she was hurt.
Orchid typed multiple amputee into the blinking search bar.
Pages of links filled her screen. She tried not to look away.
They’re just pictures. Nothing bad is going to happen.
There were stories about military veterans and their prostheses, about amputees surfing, training for 5K’s, skateboarding, and rock climbing. The guys looked tough and tenacious.
One article described a soldier who was blown up by an IED and lost both legs and a hand.
She paged through quickly, learning that he spent a year at Walter Reed, adapting to driving and living on his own.
It was a hard recovery. Yet, he felt the experience made him stronger.
Even if he could, he wouldn’t change a thing.
His only wish was that people wouldn’t judge him based on how he looked.
Orchid winced recalling her insensitive comments last she’d seen Phoenix.
He wasn’t likely to interpret her judgment kindly.
Her perspective shifted. Avoiding these images hadn’t brought her parents back. Looking at them didn’t make bad things happen. And she wasn’t some overly sensitive person who was repulsed by other people’s imperfections. She felt their pain with empathy.
Did she want to curate an artificially rosy existence? No. I just need to find Phoenix to tell him how much I care.
He wasn’t letting her get in touch with him, so she shot hope into the atmosphere for the goodwill of one tattooed giant.