CHAPTER 51 PRICKLY THORN BUT SWEETLY WORN
PRICKLY THORN BUT SWEETLY WORN
Orchid
With little sense of time passing, bright sunshine filled the room, lightening the whitewashed walls, indicating that it was no longer early morning. Orchid stretched, trying to straighten the kinks in her back. The starfish-shaped clock ticked past eight.
Peeved at her stiff joints, Orchid turned to check on Phoenix. He must’ve heard her stir because he pushed up to a sitting position. He looked at her and scooted back, levering with one hand to situate his rear against a pillow.
Despite knowing that a prosthesis supported his six-foot stature the day before, and massaging his leg in the darkness, the sight of him sent a shock through her.
Sheets kicked off during the night, he sat in shorts and a T-shirt, gorgeously carved like a Greek statue, every muscle etched and strong, pale ends of limbs against burnished copper linens.
One well-shaped foot gone, his form ended bluntly beneath his knee, lines of scars visible.
A flash of a speeding train’s metal rims crushing his flesh whipped through her mind, like a slap in the face.
The way he maneuvered on the bed hinted at the everyday challenges he must face.
The fraction of an instant flash-froze, as if captured on film. Her mouth open, back bent on her way to standing upright, her eyes affixed on Phoenix. She was unable to move, like a department store mannequin left contorted in an awkward position.
Then the pain in his eyes as he watched her reached down her throat to rattle her from the inside.
He yanked the sheet over to cover his legs.
She was not going to let him think that she judged the way he looked and found him lacking. She snapped her jaw shut and straightened. Her trembling legs were the only deficit in her composure.
“Hey there, how are you feeling?” she asked, perching on the edge of his bed.
He was so close. Just lean forward and she could press a cheek to his.
Then, just a turn and she could caress his full lips.
The indentation her weight made caused him to roll towards her, his leg coming to rest against hers.
She looked down, smoothing the sheet over the muscular thigh nearest to her, wanting to comfort away the distrust in the furrow of his brow. “All better?”
He pulled his legs a few inches away, so they were no longer touching hers. “Yeah, better. Thanks.”
“I’m glad. Is it always so bad?”
“Not always. That was a bad one. Like an eight.”
“Eight?”
“Out of ten,” he explained. “On the pain scale, eight means excruciating or something like that.”
“Excruciating?” It was worse than she’d guessed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I wish you didn’t have to go through that.”
“I don’t want pity, and you didn’t have to stay,” he said, ice creeping into his voice.
“It’s not pity. I wanted to take care of you like you took care of me last time we were here,” she said.
His glare narrowed, forecasting an end to their civility.
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me.” He threw off the sheets, then pivoted away from her and shimmied to the other side of the bed.
“Of course not. I can see you don’t need anyone, just . . . I just wanted to be here for you.” She stood to come around to his side of the bed. He grabbed a silicone liner from the side table. She kept talking, not wanting to lose this opportunity to right his misperceptions.
“I have a lot to tell you. I never dated Caleb, I’d never do such a thing.”
The tightness around his eyes eased a little. “I know. I believe you.” He spoke as he rolled a gel cover over the smooth end of his left leg.
“Good. And I’m sorry for what I said at the hospital. It was stupid and insensitive. I was only thinking about me, and I feel terrible for that.”
He blinked, the lines around his mouth taking up whatever tension his eyes had surrendered. The hum of a nearby washing machine heightened, speeding into a final spin.
“I need to apologize for what I said about you being worse than the guy who caused my accident.”
“Right.” She breathed out with one short exhale.
He shoved his leg into the socket of the upright prosthesis. “I was so angry that I wasn’t thinking straight.”
The wash slowed, clicks announcing the change in cycle.
“Kind of like me, at the hospital.”
He paused to gaze at her forehead. “You all better?”
“Yeah. The stitches came out a week ago. ”
“That’s good, I was wondering how you were doing.” His face smoothed into a grin. “How are we always causing so much trouble?”
“Was it a huge deal to clean up your place?”
“Haven’t you seen? We had to raze the building to the ground.”
“I hope you made Liv do her share, since she was the one who tripped me.” They joined in laughter. Her eyes met his.
“I’ve missed you,” he said.
His admission emboldened her. She deserved to know. “If you missed me, why didn’t you tell me that you were hurt? Why didn’t you tell me you were in the hospital when I came back from China?”
“You know why.”
“Because you didn’t trust me.”
“Because I couldn’t give you what you wanted.”
“How did you know? You didn’t even ask me.”
“Have you seen me? I couldn’t give any woman what she wanted.”
“But then you dated Rina.”
“I don’t want to hurt your feelings, and I wasn’t even looking, but Rina was just who I needed after my accident.”
Rina was just who he needed? The specter of another woman lanced her. Orchid pictured some wraithlike angel, a perfect model of patience and care. The inherent criticism in his words cut deep.
“What do you mean, Rina was just who you needed?”
“She had no reaction to my injuries. She just saw me as a man. She made me laugh at myself.”
Orchid shot to her feet. “You ever think maybe I could’ve been that person?
You don’t think I could’ve seen you for the amazing man you are?
You know what’s crazy? You didn’t even tell me what happened!
You didn’t trust me! You could’ve given me a little more credit, you know.
For being more than just squeamish Orchid. Maybe remembered my good side, too?”
His blue irises darkened. “The difference is she’d never known me any other way. You would’ve had a lot to get used to. I did what I thought was best. After we saw each other at the holiday party, it seemed like the right call.”
“At the holiday party? What do you mean? What was best? To lie to me? To hurt me?”
“To protect you. You don’t know what it was like after I got hurt. Things got pretty bad. It’s still not the easiest. It didn’t seem like you—” He shook his head.
“So this is it,” her voice dropped, interrupting him, somber over having her theories verified. “You thought I couldn’t deal.”
“That’s right.”
“Well, aren’t I here now? Dealing just fine?”
“Caleb said you came to apologize. There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who’s sorry. You’ve come for nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. I’ve missed you too. Let’s try again. Pick up from before China.”
He pushed off the bed and stood, peering down at her. “Orchid, stop this crazy talk. Don’t do this.”
“We had something special,” she argued.
“I’m not the same.”
“I’m not either.”
He shook his head and hobbled towards the toilet.
This was her last chance. “The stupid thing is, I fell in love with you and I can’t stop.” She flushed with surprise. Did she say that aloud?
He paused to look at her. His eyes blazed cobalt. “There’s nothing between us. I’m sorry.”
Phoenix limped into the bathroom and shut the door.
The washer chimed its song to indicate the end. The end.