TEN #2
By the time he got to Nina’s building, his irritation was heavy until he realized it fear.
Jio didn’t want to lose his baby. She was the love of his life and now the real reason for her distance had been revealed.
The thought of Nina slipping away made him incredibly anxious.
He wasn’t about to lose his baby over a hoe that he used to fuck back in the day.
His biggest fear was that she would wake up one day and realize that she could live without him.
He walked into her building like he lived there and the concierge stood after recognizing his face.
“Good evening, Mr. Gotti.”
Jio nodded toward the elevator. “You’re about to tell me that she took me off the list again?” he concluded.
The concierge hesitated. “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t send you up without authorization.”
Jio stared at him for a long moment. The man looked like he wanted to evaporate.
Finally, Jio gave him a knowing nod.
“All good, buddy.”
He left but came right back after a quick solo smoke session in his car to calm his nerves.
“Call her.”
The concierge was confused. “Sir?”
“Buzz her unit.”
He did as he was told but Nina didn’t pick up.
“Is she home?”
“Not too sure, sir.”
Jio took a seat on the bench. Five minutes later, he approached the desk and asked him to buzz her again. No answer.
Ten minutes passed and he asked, “Again.”
The concierge buzzed again.
Nina still didn’t pick up the phone.
Five minutes later.
“Again.”
By the fifth time, Nina’s voice finally came through the speaker, irritated and sharp.
“What do you possibly want? I am SLEEP!”
The concierge looked at Jio helplessly. He leaned over the desk to speak into the phone loud enough for her to hear his voice.
“Come downstairs.”
There was a pause.
“Are you insane?”
“Probably so, baby.”
“I’m not coming downstairs.”
“Okay that’s cool, I’ll just keep having him buzz you,” he said nonchalantly.
“Jio.”
“Nina,” he sang her name in a velvety tone but it was followed by the line being disconnected.
He went back to sit on the bench, holding tightly to his faith that she wouldn’t give up on him.
Jio had nothing but time tonight. Plus, he was behind on his reading anyway, so he took the opportunity to finish the latest read that he and Ephrem would most likely discuss the next time he stopped by the bookstore.
Fifteen minutes had passed when the elevator opened and made a dinging noise. He prayed like hell that it was his baby and lo and behold…
Nina stepped out wearing black leggings, a white tank, and a long cardigan. Her hair was pulled back, her face makeup-free, and somehow she looked more gorgeous than she had any right to.
Behind her, she pulled a small wagon.
Jio’s eyes dropped to it. It held his clothes, shoes, cologne, and a few books he had left on her nightstand for when he couldn’t sleep at night.
His jaw tightened as the concierge suddenly became fascinated with his computer.
Nina stopped in front of Jio and released the wagon handle.
“I packed your things.”
Jio looked from her to the wagon and back at her.
“I see, but I don’t know what for.”
Nina blinked. “You don’t?”
“No, babe, I really am lost. I don’t know this you right now.”
She wasn’t with the mind games and he was a mastermind at them. “Let’s not play dumb.”
“Tell me what you need, baby. I’ll fix it,” he pleaded. Jio was indeed a player, but for his Nina, he was a certified sucker with no shame in his game. He would get on his knees and beg for her mercy if that’s what it came to.
“I need space.”
“You had enough of that.”
“I need more.”
He stepped closer and, surprisingly, she didn’t amble backwards which made him happy.
“I’ll be more understanding,” he said. “More supportive. If work is what you need, then do that. Be CEO. Run the world. I’m not stopping you, babe.”
“You don’t get it.” He didn’t have a clue how far off the mark he was.
“Okay so explain it to me, Nina. I can’t read your mind.”
She looked at him, and for the first time, he saw how tired she was. It wasn’t in a sleep deprived way, but sadly, she looked tired… of his ass.
“You don’t want me,” she said quietly. “You like the idea of me.”
His face changed. “That’s not true.”
“It is.”
“No, it’s not yo!” he argued back.
“You like having me. You get a kick out of knowing I’m yours.
You like that I make you feel like there’s something good in you.
You look better with me standing beside you.
It gives your ego a boost that you never experienced before.
You like the idea that a woman like me would choose a man like you…
” She spoke her truest thoughts. Fuck, her therapist would be jumping for joy right now if she were a fly on the wall.
Jio stared at her intensely. The man was breathing so hard that she wanted to ask if he needed some fresh air or an inhaler.
“But wanting me?” she continued. “The real me? The ambitious me? The version of me that needs space, boundaries, peace, and purpose? I don’t think you know how to properly want her.”
For once, Jio had to absorb her words before responding.
When he did, his voice was guttural, “I want you.”
Nina looked away. She had to stay strong no matter how hard it was. She had to stop giving in all because his wordplay was captivating. His actions weren’t consistent and that was the problem. She was too grown to keep chasing highs only for them to fade after a week or two.
“I need you,” he added.
Her eyes closed briefly.
“So now what?” he whispered. “Why you making this difficult for me, baby?”
Nina’s eyes filled with tears she refused to let fall.
“Because I have made it wayyyyy too easy for you.”
She reached for the wagon handle again and pushed it toward him.
“I love you,” she said. “But I need to be alone right now.”
His jaw flexed. “Nina.”
“I’m sorry, Jio.”
He shook his head. “Nah, you don’t get to leave me.” He wasn’t accepting her departure.
“I need space to focus on my career. I need to remember who I am without you in the room.” She pounded on her chest, praying that he would at least try to understand where she was coming from.
“Shit, okay, that’s fine. I’ll stand outside the room!” he suggested because he would do anything to keep his position.
“You don’t even see that you’re still trying to decide where you get to be.” She gave him a weakened smile.
Jio looked wounded, but she was too.
For a moment, the lobby disappeared, and all Nina saw was the man beneath the armor trying to understand why love was not enough to excuse everything he’d done and didn’t do.
“I’m asking you to let me go for a little while,” she reasoned.
“And if I don’t?”
Her expression hardened. “Then you proved my point.”
“I apologize for mistreating you. I love you so much and I hope you never had to question that,” he spoke from the heart.
His comment was raw, but it was just too fuckin’ late for the sentiments.
“I know,” she whispered.
“But you still leaving me…” He ran his hands over his face.
“I’m choosing me,” Nina countered.
For a hot minute, neither of them moved until Nina was turned around and headed toward the elevator.
Jio watched her go with every violent instinct inside him screaming to stop her, but he let her go because it was what she wanted.
The elevator doors opened and she stepped inside. Their eyes met one last time before the doors closed between them.
Jio stood in the lobby beside a wagon full of his belongings.
He was humiliated, furious, devastated, and still completely certain of one thing…
he was getting his baby back. Nina could call it space all she wanted.
But he wasn’t going no damn where. Jio didn’t consider himself to be a spiritual person, but he couldn’t be told that God hadn’t sent Nina to him.
She’d been his guardian angel since the day they met.
When she was ready to remember all of that, he would be exactly where he had always been.
At the bookstore, waiting for her to walk through the door.
η
“Speak when you’re spoken to,” was a saying that most kids probably grew up hearing.
In the Marcelle house, it was said so much that they finished the sentence under their breath while turning on their heels and rolling their eyes.
Their mama didn’t play the radio… another saying from way back in the day.
Most recently, she’d taken the liberty to rewire her brain from all the rules that she’d been forced to operate by while living under her parents’ roof.
Nina was grown now, and she often had to remind herself of that because her parents still thought they had the final say-so on what she did, how she lived, and who she communicated with.
It went beyond her whirlwind of a romance with Jiorgio Gotti III.
Her mom thought it was “weird” that she was close to Ephrem.
“Who becomes friends with the people who checks them out at stores? Only you Nina. Why can’t you hang with your Jack & Jill friends or your line sisters? For goodness sake, it was fifty-six of you ladies. Not one of them can be your friend?” her mother would ask with pity on her face.
The same thing went for Nina’s church family.