IN SE
Watching Kyung walk Lizzy out the door, I get this feeling that I can't explain in the pit of my stomach.
It's not jealousy. I've felt that before, and this isn't it.
I pick at my lips with my fingers as my knee starts to bounce as I wait on him to come back inside.
A thought formed in my mind earlier, and I can't seem to let it go.
Unfortunately, for my members, I'm the kind of person that once I set my mind to something, I've got to let it out onto the world, or it will drive me mad.
I think it's almost driven them to the point of madness several times over the years.
This one might be the one that pushes Kyung over the edge. And, he's really hard to upset.
"What's wrong?" Jae-un asks, taking the seat to my right and placing a hand on my bouncing knee.
"Nothing," I answer too quickly.
He cuts his eyes over to me and lifts one eyebrow, knowing me better than anyone in my life and knowing that I'm lying.
The front door beeps as it opens and shuts.
My knee stops bouncing, making Jae-un look at me again.
Kyung comes around the corner with his head down and hands down in his pockets.
He only walks like that when he's thinking about something.
Well, I'm about to selfishly add to that.
I wait until he plops down in an un-idol fashion across from me on the other L-shape of the couch. "Are you sad that you don't get to walk her home or stay with her tonight?"
Our band has been together for years. We've always shared everything in our lives with each other, even if we didn't want to.
Especially emotionally. We know each other pretty well, I think.
If he didn't want me to ask questions, he would've just gone to his room.
Which makes me think that either, he knows we're going to have them or he doesn't want to be alone. Maybe both.
His eyes lift to mine, and he gives me a partial smile. "A little, but I know that we need to talk about things tonight, and that is more important."
Looking to Jae-un, he adds, "I never kept her out of the loop because of you or any of you. I just didn't want her running scared as soon as she saw how crazy our lives can get before I even got a chance with her."
"I know," Jae-un admits, dropping his head. "I jumped to conclusions in my head and shouldn't have. I'm sorry."
Kyung simply nods in understanding, and the room falls into comfortable silence. Normally it's Dav En or Yoon Ji that break it, but tonight, it looks like it's going to be me.
"So, this is a good time to ask if we can get to know her better like you and Dav En then, yes?" I ask.
Everyone's head whips in my direction, but I don't take my eyes off Kyung as I grin sweetly. Jae-un even bumps my shoulder, but I don't break my eye contact. I want him to know that I'm serious.
"Is that an option?" Yoon Ji asks from where he's still sitting on the floor.
Dav En is sitting next to him, open-mouthed staring back and forth between me and Kyung.
Before he speaks, Kyung's lips lift into a coy smile. "I've already been wondering about that myself, but that would be her decision. I don't own her."
"You won't be jealous?" Jae-un scoffs at my side.
Kyung shakes his head. "I think she fits with us. Honestly, I thought it was just me. Then, her and Dav En hit it off. And I've liked watching everyone interact when she's been here. Besides, I already share her with Dav En, anyway."
Seong Su leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "That's different, Kyung. You guys have been friends for years."
Glancing over, Kyung slightly tilts his head to the side. "And we haven't? I feel like we progressed long past the friend stage into family a while ago."
Minsul, on my left, who has been quietly sitting with his arms folded across his chest murmurs, "This could end badly. It'd be eight of us hurting if it does, or the eight of us at each other's throats."
Seong Su rubs his forehead with both hands. "Dav En. You'd be okay with this, too?"
The big man in question looks perplexed as he answers, "I know how happy she makes me feel, and I like how happy she makes Kyung. And, I wouldn't have her if it weren't for him. I think she could make us all happy like that."
Yeon softly questions, "What do you think the company will say when they find out?"
"We aren't prohibited from dating," Kyung reminds him.
"Probably just need to keep it closer to home, though, since it might cause a scandal we aren't ready for," Jae-un adds.
"What do you think, Seong Su?" Minsul asks. "I feel like this is going to be an all-in or we leave things as they are."
Yeon nudges our leader gently with his leg. "You like her. I know you do. I can see it when you look at her."
Seong Su sighs. "You're a good man, Kyung."
Kyung throws up his hands in a stop motion as he looks at all of us in turn. "That beautiful girl has more love in her heart than you can possibly imagine, but there's always the chance that she could say no."
"Are you ready for that possibility?" I ask. "What if it pushes her away?"
He looks to me again and gives me another one of those knowing smiles. "Then, we deal with it together. I just might need my family to help put me back on my feet.