TRACK 13
HIGHER
IN SE
I really shouldn't have listened in last night to Yoon Ji and Liz, but it's not like I could help it really.
I just went to take a shower. They were the ones who didn't shut his side of the bathroom door.
Well, it's definitely all my fault that I stayed in my room and overheard them on purpose while they were in the shower.
I could've gone ahead and got dinner. Curiosity killed the cat, or whatever that saying is.
My chest had gone a little tight when he'd asked her if she was planning on getting bored and leaving us.
She didn't hesitate to tell him no, but along with my fear of being alone, I've also got a fear of people leaving me.
The most important thing in the world to me is family, and our members are my family.
It's a strange feeling to let someone else in like we have with her.
In the back of my mind, it's just one more person that could leave one day.
However, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep my distance.
I was caught in the trap from the very first moment, and I don't mean when I met her.
I mean when I saw that picture of her and Kyung and saw how happy my brother was.
Everything else has just fallen into place.
Walking out into the kitchen the next morning, my thoughts are literally being broadcast by the sight of her and Yoon Ji having breakfast together at our bar counter.
They're smiling and laughing about something.
Both look up and share that smile with me as I walk in.
Yoon Ji is one of my best friends, and just like with Kyung, I love seeing him happy.
"Where is everyone else?" I ask, moving to where I'm standing across from them so I can lean down on the counter.
She glances at Yoon Ji as he answers, "They had to go to the studio. Said there were some parts they had to re-record, but we were good to not go."
I shrug. "Okay then." Glancing at Liz, I get a wicked idea in my head since she's here and we've got free time. "Want to watch some TV?"
"Sure," she agrees easily.
A couple hours later, that's how our members find the three of us. In pillow chairs on the floor in front of the massive television watching our music videos in chronological order.
"What's going on here?" Jae-un asks as they walk in.
"Shhh," she tells him while holding up her hand.
Yoon Ji and I chuckle together before he quietly tells him. "She's been like this since we started."
I nod, grinning, because it's true. She has said barely anything. Only made us pause once so that she could get up to get a drink of water. The others walk in about the time that we're explaining and hear her shh him. They all find seats around us.
Seong Su waits until the video ends and asks me to pause the next one before it starts. We all glance at him as he says, "Our juniors are celebrating their comeback and one of their birthdays at the rock climbing outdoors place tonight. They've extended an invitation to us if we want to go."
"Yeah," Dav En says immediately.
Yoon Ji glances at me and then Liz between us before twisting to look at Seong Su. "Can Liz come, too?"
He shrugs. "I don't see why not. They've rented the place out for them. Just be prepared to answer questions, because you know they'll have them."
"If she even wants to go, Yoon Ji," Kyung says, giving her the choice.
"Sure," she answers. "I love rock climbing."
"One of those things?" Yoon Ji asks with the slight tilt of his head.
"Yep," she answers, and I can hear the smile in her voice. "How long do we have?"
Jae-un laughs next to me. "Are you asking how many more videos you can watch?"
She whips her head our direction, and I laugh when she replies, "Maybe."
Snatching the remote from me, Jae-un says, "I got you covered."
I go to protest because he's searching something instead of just hitting play on the next video and keeping us in order.
As soon as the third letter drops, I keep quiet.
I know where he's going with this, and I can't believe I didn't think about it.
I smoosh my lips together to keep from laughing.
She sat in a daze watching the one video where most of us had worn half shirts.
Come to think of it, that's the one where she'd asked to stop for a glass of water.
The thought does nothing to help me fight my laugh.
"Is this a video?" she asks perplexed.
"A performance," Jae-un answers.
Pulling her knees up to her chest, she wraps her arms around them and stares up at the screen.
To be honest, I have never experienced someone watching our performances for the first time, so color me intrigued by her reaction.
Her eyes move back and forth, unable to focus on one of us as we dance and sing our way across the stage.
When we hit the part that is the reason Jae-un turned this particular one on, her lips part with a small gasp.
Glancing over at Yoon Ji, he quickly looks at me over her shoulder from where he's been watching her reaction and grins.
My eyes wander over to the couch behind him where Kyung and Seong Su sit, also observing her reaction.
The former has his lips pursed slightly with a small smile while Seong Su has his hand over his mouth hiding.
The video ends, and only then does her mouth close.
"Wow," she murmurs softly.
I lose my fight and start laughing. As does Jae-un before he asks, "Have a favorite song now?"
Her eyebrows are lifted as she looks over at him. "I was waiting until we made it all the way through, but I've got two picked out so far, yes. And, as hot as that was, it's not one of them. Even though I do love the sound of that one. Valiant effort, though. That was...highly enjoyable."
Kyung chuckles from the couch as does Dav En and Minsul somewhere behind us.
We carry on for another hour or so. We've still got a few left to go when it's time to leave, so I promise her that we'll finish them later.
Her two favorites still haven't changed.
Both from our earlier albums. One because she loves our voices, and we all seem to get equal lyric time.
The other because she likes the way we dance in it, which highly pleases Jae-un.
And he likes to say I'm an attention hound.
I can't wait to tease him for this later.
She's quiet as we pile into the van, even on the drive there when Dav En and Yoon Ji in the back with her try to open conversation.
I catch her staring out the window, biting her bottom lip.
I elbow Kyung and nod slightly back at her.
The other three across from us have noticed, too.
They've all been keeping an eye on her like I have.
Kyung turns as much as his seatbelt allows and reaches over the seat to take her hand. "You okay, sunshine?"
It's weird, because I can physically see her focus her thoughts on him before she speaks. "Yeah, why?"
"You're quiet," he says, bringing attention to the fact that it's quiet in the van so we can listen in.
Her brows draw down as she admits, "I think I needed that."
"Mmm?" he questions as Dav En looks at me.
Laying her other hand over theirs clasped together, she slowly says, "I've been listening to your music for weeks, and my brain just couldn't link the guys that I know to the idols singing in the songs.
The videos today were amazing and helped, but seeing all of you on stage surrounded by your fans like that. It was a serious awakening."
I can see and hear Kyung's long sigh. "Is that a bad thing?"
In my peripheral, I can see Seong Su lean ever so slightly, I'm sure so that he can see her around Kyung.
"No way," she answers, making me feel like I can breathe again. "We've talked about this, Kyung. It's your job. It's not who you are. It's just seeing it firsthand like that made it more real. You guys are amazing, too. I can see why you have so many fans."
"If you think that's something, you should come to one of our shows," Yoon Ji suggests.
She turns to him, grinning. "Am I allowed to fangirl?"
"Yes," more than one voice answers her, mine included.
Kyung stays turned around talking to her the rest of the ride, but I don't listen to them. I get lost in my head thinking about seeing her in the audience at one of our next shows. It would be an amazing feeling to see her there. We're going to have to find a way to make it happen.
As we arrive on location and get inside to give our greetings and congratulations for celebrations, we all kind of stick together around a general location, which is one of the beginner walls. I love climbing, but I know that several of our members aren't big fans of it. Hence the easier wall.
Minsul has just started up when a voice calls out near the door speaking in English.
"Well, that wasn't a face I was expecting to see in here tonight."
Yoon Ji has his arms wrapped around Liz's shoulders with his chin resting on one of them.
At the sound of the voice, she pulls away so that she can turn and face the approaching man.
Who just so happens to be the size of a mountain.
He's so tall and broad shouldered with massive arms, that when he makes his way to our Liz, he looks like he's going to eat her.
"How've you been, Suk-jin?" she asks in English, grinning up at the big man.
"Good, good," he replies. "Uni is going great. Met a girl, too."
"Ohhh okay," she says, nodding with him still smiling. "That's good news. I hope she's worthy."
He smiles down at her with his cheeks turning pink. "She is. You'd like her. Speaking of which, my brother is finally back from the States. I'm living with him now. He’s been asking to meet you. He's a doctor, you know."
Laughing and dropping her head back, she replies, "I know. I've met someone too, though. So, thanks, but..."
"I hope he's worthy," he repeats her words.
She grins, none too shyly when she says, "Trust me. They are."