TRACK 17 #2
When I've made sure he's not going to feel guilty, I notice their little character things they're holding.
The ones I got at the shop earlier. I have no idea which one belongs to who, but my gaze searches for my lonely friend before I even realize what I'm doing.
When they land on the black cat with stars for eyes, mine lift to In Se's.
He sends me a sad smile, and I crack. I'm crying and burying my face into Yoon Ji to hide it.
Of course, it's In Se. We've all got our insecurities and sadness in life.
His just so happens to be one built on loneliness getting into this business.
Of course it's him. Especially when buying the things was supposed to represent the exact opposite.
Before I know it, I'm tucked between three hard bodies with In Se's lips pressed against mine. This isn't sexual like it was last time. Even though I've got more than one of them surrounding me and the rest of their members are watching.
My emotions are raw from exposure, going from one extreme to the other all day, which I think makes it easier for me to agree to their requests of a celebration and presents.
And even more so to Yoon Ji asking me to stay with him.
He doesn't know it, but I was going to ask to stay anyway.
Technically, I just hadn't planned on detaching myself from him at all and hoping he'd be okay with it.
When Seong Su asks him to stay behind and the three of them let me go, it's like losing my comfortable, warm, weighted blanket.
I feel it like a physical thing, and rush out of the room before I do something crazy like expose myself for how emotionally attached I've become to them.
I'm gathering a couple things to sleep in when Jae-un walks into Kyung's room. He doesn't hesitate to come straight to me, pulling me into a tight hug. Normally, he wouldn't be so aggressive about it, so it kind of makes me wonder if he's not caught in his own feels, too.
"I was worried about you," he states, breathing the words into my hair.
"I'm okay," I reassure him.
He kisses the side of my head. "I hate it when the people I care about are upset and crying and I can't fix it."
I don't ask him how he knew I was crying. Yoon Ji apparently did a good job of keeping them in the loop, and Jae-un is in here accidentally telling on him.
"Well, I hope you've got your tools and duct tape ready for tomorrow then," I tease him.
He chuckles, the deep sound vibrating my chest. "I've got one better than that. Kisses."
Proving his point, he squeezes me tighter so that I can't get away as he kisses everywhere that he can reach until I'm laughing and trying to push him off.
Kyung finally comes in to help pull him off before picking my clothes up from the floor where I've dropped them.
He pulls me into a hug of his own without saying anything.
I don't even realize that I need it as much as Yoon Ji's presence or In Se and Jae-un's kisses.
Each one of them has integrated themselves so far into my life that I realize that I do need them.
Yeon's gentle nature. Seong Su's more tightly controlled one.
Minsul's serious protectiveness. Dav En's sweet romantics.
I haven't had a chance to face the facts myself, because I've just not stopped to consider them. I love these eight men.
Kyung grabs the sides of my face and kisses me. It's not one filled with expectation. I can feel the unspoken words between us as his offering of support and peace. It's a few minutes before I can let him go.
"I'll be right here if you need me, yeah?" he tells me.
"Yeah," I whisper back, going up on my toes to steal another kiss.
He's still smiling softly at me as I walk out toward Yoon Ji's room.
My heart is trying to tug me back to him, but there's a different kind of pull that keeps my feet moving down the hall.
This has got to be the hardest part of having eight boyfriends.
Especially ones as great as they are. Sometimes it's hard to choose between them in moments like these.
I just go with what my gut says, and tonight, it's saying I want the man who chased me down the street in someone else's shoes because he was worried about me.
The same one waiting for me in his room that turns with the softest smile on his face when he sees me. After we change and crawl under his blanket on his bed, we've just turned into each other, his arms locked around me as mine lie tucked safely between us, there's a knock at his door.
He calls out, the person slipping inside and shutting the door behind them.
They don't say anything for a few seconds.
Yoon Ji grabs the blanket behind me and lifts it slightly, offering the little space that's left.
He doesn't waste time accepting, crawling underneath with us and wrapping his arms around the side of me that isn't occupied by Yoon Ji.
In Se. I know it's him without looking. They all carry their own scent, but I know their bodies and the ways they touch me.
His hand spreads out on my stomach as he lays his forehead into my hair and kisses the back of my head.
Yoon Ji presses his lips against my forehead at the same time.
Both offering comfort in their own ways. That is how I fall asleep between them.
When I wake the next morning, In Se is gone and Yoon Ji is already awake, his head resting on his pillow as he watches me. As my eyes open, he pushes hair off my face and behind my ear before pressing his lips against mine.
"Am I allowed to tell you Happy Birthday?" he asks quietly.
"Only if you say it with another kiss," I tell him, smiling.
By the time he lets me come up for air, I'm asking, "Is the offer still on the table to stay in bed with you all day?"
He chuckles and kisses me again. "I wish I could keep you to myself, but your other boyfriends might object. My bed isn't big enough to hold all nine of us when they break down my door to come in here either."
"That's fair," I tell him, stealing another kiss. "I like your bed, so let's not risk it."
He groans. "You're not making this any easier, you know. I don't want to let you leave."
"But we like your bed," I remind him, rolling over to stretch.
Color catches my eye on the little stand beside his bed. Rolling over the rest of the way, I ask, "What is this?"
The little raccoon-looking animal I bought yesterday sits there hugging a leafless tree. There are tiny pieces of cloth tied to limbs with writing on them.
"That's my Pixel," Yoon Ji answers, rubbing a hand up my back. "And my reasons why I love you tree."
A tear has already escaped and is rolling down my cheek as I reach for it. I take my time reading every single piece as he took the time to write them.
I love that you're so pretty.
I love how kind you are.
I love how you make us all smile.
I love the sound of your voice.
I love your intelligence.
There are more that I read through tear-filled, blurry eyes and a bunch that simply say I love you.
"Yoon Ji," I choke out in a whisper, turning back over to him and hugging him tight.
"They're going to kill me for making you cry this early," he teases, pressing kisses all over my face.
"Thank you for risking it then," I tell him, stealing his lips. "That was really sweet."
"Mmm," he says, kissing me again. "Ready for your next present?"
"If they're all going to be like this, I don't know," I answer honestly.
He chuckles, ushering us out of bed and toward the bathroom. That’s where we find In Se sitting on the counter, swinging his legs and waiting for us. Yoon Ji eases me inside and shuts the door, leaving us alone.
"Good morning, beautiful," In Se says, holding out a huge yellow rose that he'd been twirling between his fingers when we walked in.
I reach out to take it from him, giving it a sniff before moving between his legs and lifting my chin for a kiss. Only after he complies for the third time do I answer, "Good morning."
He does this little head nod thing to the counter beside him. I gasp softly at the sight of his little black cat sitting beside the entire collection of my favorite skincare and body care products.
"In Se, this is too much," I tell him, knowing good and well how much this costs.
Pressing a finger against my lips, he replies easily, "We don't say such things on one's birthday."
I stick my tongue out and slightly lick his finger, making him laugh before he adds, "Take as much time as you want getting ready. We'll be waiting for you."