Chapter 7 #3
He pulls my hips back slightly and enters me deep.
He places his index finger on the thin skin of my most sensitive spot and braces his other hand against the wall.
He kisses my back wildly. He’s fucking me at a brutal pace, our bodies slap together loudly.
He growls and moans into my skin, the sounds muffled and feral.
His finger moves faster and faster, rubbing me so hard it borders on pain.
There is nothing sensual or gentle about it—only raw desire and ancient, animal instinct.
I press my flushed face against the cool wall and clamp my lips shut to keep myself from screaming.
Cyrus finds the right pace, as his hand slows between my legs.
“Come on, you’re almost there, baby,” he growls against my skin, then licks my ear.
His sweaty body presses into my back, and his thrusts slow down.
He pulls me away from the wall and grips my neck.
He turns my face back toward his and kisses me hard while rubbing me mercilessly down there.
I can’t shield myself from all the positive and negative feelings and sensations spiraling inside me—I let go.
I climax.
He tilts me forward and yanks himself out. His warm semen splashes across my back. I freeze and forget to breathe. I’m on birth control, and Chase… Chase never did this to me. But I can’t blame Cyrus. It’s not his fault that, to me, sex is something ugly. Unless it’s with… him.
Afterward, I’m lying on my back in bed, staring at the ceiling like a lifeless piece of wood. I’m empty. Completely.
Hot tears streak down my face. I believed that once this was over, I’d be able to move on—yet my past and the bitterness are swallowing me deeper and deeper, dragging me down, refusing to let me go.
Chase…
My chest tightens.
Why did you do this to me?
Cyrus throws his huge arms into the air, cheering, when Billy Ray, the team captain of the Roaring Bears, puts an end to the match—and my suffering—with a game-winning, last-second touchdown. I still don’t like sports, but I watch the games for Cyrus, because he’s crazy about football.
The commentator loses his mind over the miraculous win.
Billy is swarmed by his teammates and coach—the black-haired man disappears beneath a heap of bodies.
He breaks free from their suffocating hugs and sprints toward the stands.
He pulls his helmet off his head, his sweaty hair is plastered to his face.
In the next moment, he fills the massive stadium screen, so everyone can see the kiss.
Daisy grins as she jumps into his arms. The muscles around my eyes tighten. The sight brings tears to my eyes—I look away and stare out the open window.
I don’t hold it against them. Even when I was only fifteen, I knew Billy had a bright future and a great career ahead of him, and Daisy… she was always drawn to the spotlight. They’re a perfect couple. I suspect their romance began to sprout after I disappeared.
A warm draft brushes my face and stirs the air in the room, heavy with the smell of pizza, donuts, popcorn, and beer—a cloying, oppressive thickness.
Sometimes I wish I could erase my memories—erase my past. I don’t want to be its prisoner.
I don’t want to be the prisoner of Chase Baker, because summer is somehow saturated with him.
The warm, heavy air, the familiar scents of the season, the bright sunlight, the sharp smell of hot asphalt…
they all remind me of him. Even the sound of leaves stirring in the breeze takes me back to our first kiss.
The kiss that was too perfect. From that moment on, Chase became part of me—a dark, lonely part I can’t cut away.
No matter how hard I tried to deny my attraction to him, it was him I wanted, the one my eyes kept searching for.
It was him I daydreamed about in my room, in the garden…
When I closed my eyes, I saw his broad shoulders and his chest. And the dangerous, dark eyes that looked at me as if I were a goddess.
The deep, resonant voice that sent goosebumps racing over my skin.
His familiar face, his chiseled chin. And what I was most crazy about—the light freckles on his nose, and his smile.
He was cuter than any boy had a right to be.
And that boy grew up to be a handsome man, with a stronger body, sharper features, and eyes like a predator’s.
Also, I hate him.
Chase lied to me and abused me.
He kidnapped me and took my parents from me. I lost what I had a right to: being a kid, being a teenager, enjoying life, being happy.
This is something I’ll never forgive him for, because every day I think about what if my parents were still alive… how wonderful it would have been if I could have lost myself in the comfort of my mother’s arms after those five years…
The afternoon sunlight filtering through the window warms my face. From the corner of my eye, I see Cyrus smiling at me, as if he knew exactly what I’m thinking about.
He pulls off his black tank top and settles his baseball cap on his head, the brim turned backward. He’s always been good at providing a distraction… and he knows about Billy and Daisy.
I give him a friendly smile, then discreetly look him up and down. I take in the tattoos on his skin, the thin black hairs below his navel as they disappear into his pants, trailing toward his groin. This man is a force of nature.
When the cheering on the TV subsides, I hear Billy’s voice.
The reporter shoves a mic under his nose and bombards him with questions.
Daisy clings to his upper arm, grinning into the camera with blindingly white teeth.
Cyrus grips my thigh empathetically. I place my palm over his hand, then leave the room with an apologetic smile.
I turn up the radio and open the tap before I start washing the dishes.
“Grace, what’s—”
I turn off the hot water and turn to Cyrus, who’s leaning half-naked against the doorframe. He bores his huge, dark brown eyes into mine. Last night didn’t go the way I’d planned—I failed miserably. Neither of us brought it up. Still, the fact that it happened meant a lot to both of us.
“We’re doing good,” I reply quickly. “We’re doing good. And we’re a good team, Cyrus.”
“What happened with Wendy… it happened because—”
“I know. It’s not easy for either of us, but you’re protecting me. You said he can’t kidnap me again.”
“I’d protect you with my life.”
I smile.
“This is why we’re doing good. I don’t blame Wendy, either. She’s in love with you, and… I asked her to do this.” I bite my lip.
“I don’t blame you for the kiss. I reacted poorly. I have no idea what you went through when they almost… Again… So it’s not your fault, baby. And stop asking Wendy for this. I know you did this for me, but this isn’t fair to her. And to you, either.”
“I know.” I look down guiltily and trace a circle on the linoleum with my big toe. When I look into his eyes again, my heart clenches. Cyrus’s dark eyes are heavy with desire. I have no idea how to navigate our sexual life from now on. I turn away and grip the edge of the counter.
“I don’t know how…” I whisper.
Hot air rolls off Cyrus and hits my back, sending a chill down my spine.
He wraps an arm around me and kisses my neck. For a second, my body tenses as my heart and my mind fight for dominance, but when his hand slips down my side, my muscles slowly relax.
He gets my long, brown hair from my neck, then his fingers wander down to the lines of my hot pants.
He unties the tight knot, and pulls the shorts down with my panties.
He turns me around and makes me sit on the counter.
He pulls my T-shirt off with a quick movement and tosses it on the ground.
I have no bra on, and my breasts move softly as I’m gasping for air.
My chest is filled with fear and excitement.
Cyrus kneels before me and slides one finger inside me. His beard scrapes the sensitive skin of my inner thighs. I’m ready to let go completely, to surrender myself to the pleasure. Physical intimacy was absent from our relationship for far too long.