Chapter 16
Brooks
The car is quiet as we drive home. In the rear view mirror, Avery’s head bobbles as she tries to stay awake, and Emryn sits beside me, watching the trees as they pass.
Her stress is palpable, pulling on her shoulders like a visible weight. It makes my heart ache for her.
With all the chaos with Kip, the problem with the venue was pushed to the side, and she didn’t once complain about that. But I know how hard she’s worked to make our vow renewal special.
Reaching out, I place my hand on her thigh, rubbing my finger across the soft skin.
“We’ll figure out a venue,” I say, pulling her attention to me.
“No, we won’t,” she says, her voice surprisingly even. “I think we should cancel it.”
“No.” My answer is immediate and definite. She’s worked too hard for this, and I know how much it means to her—even though things have seemed to go wrong at every turn. I don’t want her to give it up.
“Brooks,” she says, but her voice trails off.
With a quick glance in the rear view mirror to confirm that Avery has finally gone to sleep, I pull the car onto a gravel back road that’s hardly ever traveled. If we are having this conversation, I want to be able to look at her.
Once we are sitting still with the car in park, I turn my shoulders toward her. “Emryn, I know planning this thing hasn’t been easy—and what the venue did was crappy—but you don’t have to give this up. I know how much you wanted this. We can make it work.”
She shakes her head, fingers twirling the edge of her hair. “It’s less than a week away, Brooks. We have so many other things to worry about right now. It’s just a silly party. Yeah, maybe I wanted it because I thought it would be fun to celebrate our marriage, but at the end of the day, the marriage is what matters—our life together is what matters.”
“Emryn—” I start, reaching for her, but she raises her hand.
“No, Brooks,” she says, looking in the back seat to ensure Avery is still sleeping. “Your dad needs us right now, and I’m not selfish enough to put a party over that. We can do this another time—or not at all. I don’t need this. Did I want it? Sure. It would have been fun, but I think it passed fun a long time ago and turned into a headache. So, it’s okay. Truly.”
She offers me a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, and when it drops, I can see by the set of her jaw that I’m not going to win this.
“Okay, Emryn, but I need you to be sure that you’re being honest with me—and yourself—about being okay with this.”
With a stiff nod, she says, “I’m sure.”
Turning her head, she goes back to staring out the window, and I put the car into drive, pulling back onto the main highway.
But I can’t help but wonder if this is another time I will look back and wonder how I failed my wife.
______________________
It’s been three days since my dad had his surgery, and we still haven’t heard anything from the biopsy. He ended up having to stay at the hospital a little longer than expected because his blood pressure wouldn’t stay regulated, but he gets to come home today.
Avery has driven me crazy all morning, wondering if it was time to pick him up yet. He’s going to stay at our house while he recovers. I don’t want him to be alone again if something big happens.
The elevator dings, and I step out into the hallway with my daughter’s hand in mine. She has been bouncing off the walls all morning, but as we near my dad’s room, that energy seems to bleed out of her.
Stopping outside the room, I turn to Avery and squat down so I’m on her level. “Avery, do you want to talk about something?”
Going to Dr. Phelps has made a world of difference. That spunky girl of mine has started to shine through again. She needed someone who understood how to help her identify her feelings. I will forever be thankful to the man for getting through to her, even if she does have moments like now where she’s still a little wary.
Avery wiggles her nose, her eyes bouncing from me to the door we are standing in front of.
“Do you think Papaw Kip will be mad at me because I didn’t talk to him when I was scared?”
“Oh, baby. I know he won’t be. He loves you a lot, and he knew you were scared. But I think the only way for you to know that for sure is to walk through that door right there,” I say, tilting my head toward the door, “and talk to him. I think he’s been missing you.”
Her hands fiddle with the edge of her skirt, and she doesn’t meet my eye. “Daddy?”
“Yes, Bug?”
“I’m scared,” she whispers. “Will you stay with me the whole time?”
Reaching out, I scoop her into a hug and kiss the top of her head. “I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.”
There’s a determined set to her jaw when she pulls out of the hug and nods. “Okay, but before we go in, can I say a prayer real quick?”
“Anytime, baby. I’ll never say no to that.”
She takes my hand, my large palm swallowing her small one, and bows her head. “God, I’m a little scared. Maybe—maybe you could help with that?” Lifting her head, she blinks once, then slams her eyes closed again. “Oh yeah, Amen.”
I suppress my smile, not wanting her to feel like I’m making fun of her. Pride warms my chest as I take in my little girl, who has dealt with so much in the last year. I couldn’t ask for a better person to call my daughter.
“Feel better?” I ask, standing and still holding her hand in my.
With a small nod, she turns to the door.
“Are you ready?”
And with another nod, I turn the handle and push open the door. As we walk forward, she hides behind my leg, holding onto my pant leg.
My dad is sitting in his bed, fully dressed and ready to go. When he hears us entering the room, his head snaps our way, and a bright smile lights up his face.
“Oh, you brought my Avery Bug to see me.” And even though he winces when he moves, it doesn’t stop him from dragging his feet off the bed, sitting up, and opening his arms wide for Avery to run into. Avery peeks her head out from behind my leg, and when she sees the smile on his face, she takes off toward him.
“Be easy, Avery. Papaw Kip is still sore. He just had surgery.”
She slows her footsteps but still steps into his arms, and the contentment that falls over my dad’s face as he holds my little girl hits me in a way I never knew it could. I never expected him to be much of a grandfather, not after he was such a poor dad. But he changed for her, and I’m thankful for that.
The pair hold each other tight. My dad’s head rests against the top of Avery’s, and her face is turned into his shirt. I keep to the side, staying quiet and letting them have their moment.
It’s only when my dad’s arms start to loosen and pain registers across his face that I step up, gently tugging Avery back.
“Come on, Bug. Let’s get Papaw Kip a minute to catch his breath.”
Reluctantly, she steps back, watching him warily as he holds his breath and leans back against the pillow.
“Sucks getting old,” Dad grumbles.
Noticing the water cup next to his bed, I offer it to him if only to give myself something to do because the thing is, even though my relationship with my dad is healing and growing, it’s still new and awkward sometimes. Thankfully, he takes it, making me feel useful.
“Are you ready to bust out of this place?”
He gives me a rough chuckle. “I’ve been ready since the moment I stepped foot in here. Luckily, I’ll be out in time for the ceremony this weekend.”
An awkward silence descends upon the room as I stare at my feet, digging the toe of my boot into the ground. We haven’t told Dad that the ceremony is canceled. Emryn feared he would feel guilty, even though she claims his sickness is not the only reason she’s canceling. And while I know the venue played a part in it, too, I think that’s not the whole truth. Emryn knew how much it meant to me to be there for my dad; she didn’t want anything to stand in the way. She’s selfless like that. Guilt the size of a boulder sits in my stomach because of it. I’ve watched her the last three days, and when she thinks I’m not looking, the edges of her mouth turn down, and the corners of her eyes wrinkle. She’s more upset than she would like to admit about this.
“Brooks,” my dad says, calling my attention to him. “What’s going on? You look sad.”
I clear my throat, trying to keep my face neutral. “We—uh—we canceled the ceremony.”
A split second is all it takes for me to see the broken man my dad tries to hide. His face crumples. “Please don’t tell me you guys chose to do that because of me.”
Shaking my head, I deny it. “No. There were a lot of things that went into that decision. Things kept going wrong in the planning stages. We found out the venue canceled on us the day you got sick. So Emryn decided it was better if we just canceled.”
My dad eyes me warily as if he doesn’t quite believe what I’m saying. “And Emryn was okay with that? I know how excited she’s been about this. Heck, I know how excited you’ve been about this.”
I shrug. “It is what it is. There’s not much we can do when we don’t have a venue.”
Disappointment wrinkles my dad’s brows, and he dips his head, glaring at me. “Brooks Montgomery, I might not have been the best dad to you growing up, but one thing I know is that you aren’t a quitter. Didn’t know you’d become one now.”
Huffing, I cross my arms over my chest and glare back at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He doesn’t back down from my glare, deepening his own. “Just what I said, boy. You’re quitting. Giving up because things didn’t work out perfectly. Now, what are you going to do about it?”
It hits me then that he’s goading me, pushing me to recognize what I should have already.
With my eyes still on him, I say, “I’m going to marry my wife again.”
His grin is contagious when he nods and says, “That’s what I thought.”