Chapter 37 #2
“You’re wrong,” she said. “Memories have the power to heal, they have the power to remind us of who we once were, and how far we’ve come, and to let us relive the time spent with loved ones. I want a memory I can carry with me for the rest of my life.”
“Do you know what you’re asking?” He leaned forward, his hands sliding on the rim of the tub on either side of her. His yuletide scent enveloped her: crisp air, snow-covered pine, orange peel.
She tried to sound sophisticated. “I have a very good idea.”
Saturnino smiled tenderly down at her. He straightened and slowly unbuckled his doublet, letting it drop to the ground.
Then his hand reached for the back of his tunic and he pulled it off in one fluid movement.
That too went to the stone floor. He untied the laces of his boots, then his trousers, and Ravenna’s eyes widened at the sight of him.
He was lithe, supple, every one of his muscles defined in a compact, powerful form.
He arched a brow and she blushed.
Saturnino stepped into the tub behind her, and he wrapped his warm arms around her middle, pressing the side of his face against hers.
“Your skin is warm,” Ravenna marveled. “Have you noticed?”
He nodded, nuzzling the side of her neck. “For years, I’ve lived as stone but I am more human now than I have ever been.” He gently bit her ear. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
Ravenna leaned back against his chest. “I want it all.”
And she did. She wanted all that he was: his sardonic gaze, the mocking mouth, his raw vulnerability, the fragile but precious trust he had in her.
She wanted his devotion, his loyalty, the parts of him that were human, the many other things that made him immortal: his strength, the solid weight of his limbs.
Saturnino dipped his head lower, nuzzling the line of her jaw, then drifted lower still, pressing a soft, cool kiss at the side of her neck.
A shiver sparked through her, reaching her fingers, her toes, a vibration that sent a corresponding jolt between her legs.
His hands skimmed over her, traveling to the tops of her legs, then up to the sensitive slopes of her breasts; his palms covered her, and warmth gathered deep in her belly.
His fingers circled, exploring, and then they traveled beneath the water in an achingly slow glide.
She inhaled sharply as he found her, pushing a single finger inside.
He stilled. “Too much?” he asked softly, waiting.
She shook her head.
“And two?” he asked in that same soft whisper.
She shook her head again, and he worked her slowly at first, discovering the right place to touch, the perfect point of contact to make her head spin, for her breath to catch at the back of her throat.
Ravenna reached behind him; she cupped the back of his head as he added another finger, stretching her.
Her chest rose out of the water and he groaned, palming her breast, his finger brushing against her nipple, circling.
His whisper was hot against the shell of her ear. “I’ve waited all my life for you, Ravenna.”
She turned her head, and his mouth met hers in a hot, open-mouthed kiss. His touch was sending her over the edge, until she was overcome by an inexplicable feeling that took over her body. It stole every one of her thoughts, made her forget about everything else.
It was taking her closer and closer to a terrifying drop.
She was scared of shattering, of falling apart in his arms; Saturnino held her tight against him, anchoring her, the only real thing in a tumultuous sea.
He lifted her and turned her around so she was straddling his hips, the water sloshing between them.
Candlelight washed over them both, their skin flushed and luminous.
She felt him notched between her legs. Her breath caught, innocent yearning and terror clamoring through her. She looked at him, startled. “I don’t know what to do.”
His smile was sweet, but his eyes were demanding. “Come here.”
She moved forward, the sudden feeling of him shifting beneath her made her eyes widen; his desire for her was evident, and it sent a flood of awareness through her.
Saturnino tugged her closer, impatient, and kissed her.
His lips slanted over hers and his palms dragged down her back, cupping her bottom hard against him.
“Tell me if this is too much,” Saturnino whispered against her mouth. “Tell me to stop.”
“I will not,” she said.
He reached between them, and she felt him position himself closer, until he was sliding up into her.
Ravenna dropped her forehead onto his shoulder, panting.
It hurt and it didn’t, it soothed and it ached.
The same confusing rise of sensation climbed up her throat, dragging her to the end of herself, until she whispered a ragged moan against his wet skin, just underneath his collarbone.
She rocked against him, and his breath stuttered against her cheek.
She held on tight to him, helpless, clinging to his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin, struggling against the current that threatened to sweep her away.
He moved beneath her, clutching her hips, palms curving around her thighs.
He licked up her throat, caught her mouth and kissed her.
Sensation was building inside her, higher and higher.
She clenched her eyes.
“I have you, Ravenna.” Saturnino reached for her, cradled her jaw. “Let it come.”
Her eyes flew open, locking with his. They were heavy-lidded, filled with a consuming passion. For her. She finally gave in to the unknown and let herself become undone.
Out of control.
Saturnino held her against him, moving deep inside her, but then abruptly lifted her up higher and he slipped out of her.
He let out a low moan as he found his pleasure, fingers digging into her hips, his forehead pressed against the flat of her belly.
Ravenna wrapped her arms around his trembling body, and he drew her back down, his hand gliding up her back, into her nape, stroking her wet hair.
They stayed together until the water in the tub grew cold, and then he carried her out of the room and to his bed.
She lay partially over the smooth expanse of his chest, her head tucked under his chin.
“You didn’t finish inside me,” Ravenna murmured.
Saturnino’s arms tightened around her. “I won’t risk leaving you with a child to take care of and raise on your own.”
Ravenna had never let herself think of motherhood.
She knew that if she did, the thought would turn into a dream.
And she had enough dreams that wouldn’t come true, enough heartaches to fill a lifetime.
Having a child meant risking a daughter who might inherit the same strain of magic as her.
The very idea had always been unbearable to her.
But now … she didn’t mind the idea so much anymore.
Not with Saturnino.
“Can you have children?” She shifted onto her elbow.
“I’ve never thought about it,” he said slowly. “I have all the needs of a human being. I need food and water to survive, I need sleep to function. I bleed, feel pain.” He gave her a heated glance. “I experience pleasure. It seems possible that I could sire a child.”
“Would you want to?”
He sighed. “Ravenna.”
“If things were different.”
He arched a brow. “If I wasn’t turning to stone in a handful of days? If the world wasn’t on fire, if we weren’t on the brink of war? If my family didn’t want your head on a platter?” His voice turned wistful. “If all those things weren’t true, then yes. Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
He brushed the rim of her ear with his index finger. “It seems selfish to bring a child into a world full of despair and hate.”
“I see your point,” she whispered. She shifted, coming up on her elbow, and looked down at him.
“But there’s a part of me that believes that other people feel the same.
That they’d raise their children to have hope for a better world, teach them empathy and grace, to care for trees and cats, to embrace love and life. ”
Saturnino pressed a kiss under her chin. She felt him smiling against her skin. “Trees and cats?”
“I miss Ombretta,” Ravenna admitted.
“Me too,” he said in marveling tones. His voice deepened, became huskier. “If things were different, I’d love to have a child with you. Watching you become a mother…” Saturnino swallowed, stark yearning tiptoeing across his face. “It would be a miracle.”
Pain closed around her, as if she were locking herself away in a room where she stood alone, with only despair and grief for company. She could imagine the years before her, long and lonely, on her knees praying for a different past, a different life, a different fate.
A world where Saturnino was still alive.
A world where she could have saved her brother.
Saturnino brushed the palm of his hand up and down her back, tracing the subtle curve of her spine.
Tears gathered in her eyes as the horror of the day replayed in her mind, a devastating loop that began and ended with Antonio.
She hadn’t been able to save her little brother.
She hadn’t been able to save him from a terrible fate. She hadn’t—
Saturnino urged her down to lie across his chest.
“Ravenna,” Saturnino whispered against her temple. “Ravenna, amore mio.”
She hadn’t realized she’d been crying, sobbing.
Saturnino held her tight against him, whispering love softly into her ear, sweet words that soothed the rapid beating of her heart, that chased the awful last moments of Antonio’s life.
Saturnino dragged the furs and blankets over them, and sleep came for them both.
The next morning, they woke to the sight of twenty bodies hanging off the balcony of the Palazzo della Signoria. A herald stood in the center of the piazza, calling the names of all the remaining conspirators. The people of Florence were to hunt them down.
The last name he yelled out was her own.