31. Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-One
Eli
Eli waited for Grace to return, taking his time getting ready, showering and changing inside her empty bedroom.
When he no longer had an excuse to stay, he left her room and headed for Ellen’s, thinking perhaps Grace was visiting with her mother, but he only found a dimly lit room where Ellen slept quietly.
Unfortunately, Grace wasn’t in the dining room eating breakfast with her brother and father, either.
Theo looked up from a small leather-bound book when Eli entered the dining area, arms crossed in disappointment.
“Breakfast?” Theo asked, pointing to the empty chair next to him. “We’ve got anything you want—toast, bacon, eggs—”
“That’s okay. I’m not hungry.”
Ben quietly assessed him. “You’ve been training a lot for the Rite. You should eat. Take care of yourself. Can’t ease up now when the final round is tomorrow.”
Eli and Ben hadn’t exchanged many words since his arrival in Berland. It didn’t help that Grace’s father was frequently out of town for trade and when he was home, he rarely spent time with anyone but his family.
But if things went according to plan, Eli would be part of this family soon. He shifted toward the empty chair and nodded to Ben. “Yeah, you’re right. I suppose I can stay for a quick bite.”
As he sat down, he couldn’t help but stare at Grace’s empty seat with a frown. While Ben called for a servant to bring Eli a plate—rattling off a variety of breakfast items that Eli knew he didn’t have the appetite for—Theo leaned over and said, “Were you hoping to see Grace?”
Eli nodded again. “Have you seen her?”
“Only for a couple seconds. She left in a hurry early this morning.”
“Did she say where she was going?”
Theo raised a brow. “Trouble in paradise?”
Eli scoffed. “Hardly. Just… a misunderstanding.” The words felt bitter on his tongue.
It was hardly a misunderstanding, but he really didn’t want to get into it with Grace’s brother about how he had known about their mother’s health troubles all along.
Something told him Theo wouldn’t react very well, either.
“Well…whatever it is, she’ll forget about it by the end of the day.
Grace is forgiving like that.” He returned his attention to the book in his hands and, with a quick glance, Eli could see that the pages were full of little drawings.
Most of them were from nature—flowers, trees, the lake near the middle of town.
A few were sketches of unrecognizable faces. Probably various folks around Berland.
“Do you mind?”
Eli realized he’d been caught staring at Theo’s book. “Sorry,” he said quickly.
Theo smiled and Eli sighed with relief, knowing he hadn’t seriously offended him. He wished he could say the same for Grace.
“So, are you ready for tomorrow?” Ben asked once the servant had disappeared.
“I believe so,” he answered truthfully. Physically, he’d never been in better shape.
Mentally, he was ready to put the Rite behind him.
To stop fighting for Grace’s hand in marriage and finally call her his own, like he belonged to her.
He could finally tell those assholes around town that stared at him like an undeserving outsider that they could all go to hell. Trevor was at the top of that list.
But emotionally, he was nervous. After last night’s conversation with Grace, he wasn’t sure where her head was at. What if they’d come all this way for things to fall apart at the finish line?
By the time the servant returned with Eli’s breakfast, he was itching to get out of the room.
Not just because he needed to find Grace, but he felt like he was silently being judged.
Like he had the words ‘liar’ and ‘traitor’ written on his forehead, shining brightly for Theo and Ben to see.
He was waiting for either of them to question his loyalty to Grace and whether he was worthy of her.
It was all in his head, of course. Theo spent the rest of breakfast enamored with his drawings, occasionally smiling, while Ben cleared his plate and made room for a folder stuffed with old parchment, which he perused and scribbled on without a word.
The silence was the most grating thing Eli had ever heard.
He ate as much of his food as he could, not wanting to appear ungrateful. Once he’d cleared an acceptable amount, he pushed back his chair—the noise drawing attention from the others in the room. “Thank you for breakfast,” he said quickly to Ben. “But I need to get going.”
“No need to thank us,” Ben replied. “You’re always welcome here.”
His hospitality caught Eli off guard, and he could only mutter another ‘thank you’ before rushing out of the home.
Eli checked all of Grace’s usual haunts: the cafeteria, the council chamber—at least the outside, since he couldn’t get in the locked room—and stopped by a few of her favorite shops in town.
He even checked the barn where their horses were kept. Hers was still there, so she hadn’t gone out for a ride. While he was in the barn, he couldn’t resist the opportunity to say hello to Obsidian, the horse that Grace had gifted him.
The horse greeted him with a nuzzle to the bars when she saw him approaching.
“Hey, girl. Are you excited to see me?”
Obsidian huffed, and her nostrils moved as she sniffed his hands and torso.
“I didn’t bring anything with me this time.”
Perfect, he thought. Now his horse would also be upset with him.
He opened the stall gate and Obsidian trotted out, still sniffing around for a hidden snack. When she finally gave up, she shook her head and her long, black mane glistened in the light.
“What about a ride instead? I can take you up the mountain and grab the angelfruit that you like so much. Fresh off the tree. How does the sound?”
She stomped once, and Eli could only assume she was satisfied with his offer.
He quickly got his saddle in place and pulled himself up—a move that had gotten a lot easier since his first attempt with Grace—and steered her toward his favorite trail.
Thick leaves kept the sun at bay as they traveled up the trail, but some trees had started to turn yellow, the first sign that autumn was approaching. He could feel it in the air, too. It was crisp and cool rather than the suffocating heat that he’d grown used to.
Eli kept Obsidian moving, only stopping once to let her drink from a stream. It didn’t take long to make it to their destination. Hopping down from his horse, Eli took the reins and tied them around a tree, ensuring the knot was secure.
Then he cautiously approached the Twisted Tree.
Even the birds seemed to respect the sanctity of the tree, falling quiet as they watched Eli from above.
He lowered to his knees in front of the small tower of stones he’d created for his father, noting that there was another tiny collection next to Ali’s mother’s.
Flames engulfed his lungs and heart as he considered the innocent life those stones represented.
It wasn’t fair. Ali didn’t deserve what had happened to her, and neither did this child. He shuddered, knowing that Grace had likely been the true target. Would there ever come a day when they would all feel safe?
Everyone was on the same page as far as the primary suspect was concerned, but without any evidence, Eamon and his followers would face no consequences.
The rebels continued to slip through their grasp, and Eli had no idea how to stop it.
They covered their tracks well, and they had the power to silence anyone who might’ve stepped forward with information, like Noah and his knowledge of the explosives.
Eli returned his gaze and his thoughts to his dad. He whispered softly to the empty space, “I hope you’re taking care of her.”
He didn’t know if Ali’s child would’ve been a girl or not, but somehow it felt right.
“I hope you let her stay out late, eat too many sweets, and do all the things you never allowed me to do.”
He grinned. If there was an afterlife, he was certain his dad and Ali’s mom would be taking good care of the child, spoiling her rotten.
“I miss you, Dad. I could really use your advice right about now. I think I fucked up. You know the woman I told you about, Grace? I kept some information from her. I didn’t mean to. I thought I was doing the right thing…”
Allowing time for Ellen to tell Grace the truth herself really had seemed like a good idea at the time, but in retrospect, Eli could see the error in his decision.
“I didn’t know things were as bad as they were.
If I had known her mother was that sick, I would’ve told Grace sooner.
But it doesn’t matter now. I fucked up and I need to know how to fix it.
I feel like you would’ve had the perfect advice for me.
” He sighed and looked up at the sky. “But you’re not here. ”
Eli stared blankly, unsure what he had expected coming here. Did he think the trees would share their wisdom? That the leaves would whisper words of encouragement?
A bird above him broke the silence with a loud screech, and Eli glared at the obnoxious bluejay.
It squawked again, bobbing its head up and down like it was reprimanding him.
He huffed a laugh, because the bird, crazy as it was, reminded him of his dad and the way he used to scold Eli for feeling sorry for himself.
He’d always tell Eli there was no sense in entertaining negative thoughts. “Shit happens,” he would say. “And complaining about the smell won’t change a thing.”
Eli laughed harder as he envisioned his dad speaking those words to him. It wasn’t the most helpful advice. It never gave him a solution to his problems, but it always made him laugh regardless.
Grace would’ve probably found him to be hilarious, too.
“You would’ve gotten along well.”
It was difficult to picture his dad’s face, though it hadn’t been a year yet since he’d been murdered. His voice, too, grew more distorted with each passing day. Remembering his father was like a muscle that Eli had to train each day. He was terrified of the day he’d lose that ability completely.
As he rummaged through hazy memories of his father, one in particular began to take form.
It was the day he’d had his first real fight with Ali.
They had been barely teenagers, and Eli recalled Ali planning a picnic for them by the lake.
She’d spent the entire day before preparing—baking biscuits and fresh jam.
But when the time came, Eli hadn’t met her.
Instead, he’d chosen to hang out with a couple of older guys who’d teased him about spending time with his girlfriend? a title he had detested back then.
None of the other guys had been close to any of the girls their age, and Eli had begun to second guess his friendship with Ali.
He’d thought there was something wrong with him, and that by hanging out with the guys, he’d fit in again.
It’d been a terrible decision to desert Ali, one that he’d regretted the moment she came back from the lake with red cheeks and fierce eyes. She’d tossed the basket of food at his feet and stomped away without a word, leaving Eli to clean up the mess.
Guilt had eaten at him for days. Eventually, his father had noticed that Eli was miserable and that Ali hadn’t been hanging around. He’d sat him down at the kitchen table and slammed his palm on Eli’s shoulder.
“What did you do?” he’d asked.
Eli had stared at him blank-faced.
His dad had laughed and sat down next to Eli. “You don’t have to tell me. Do you want some advice, kid?”
“Sure.”
“You know that saying—if you love someone, let them go?”
Eli had frowned and scoffed. What a stupid piece of advice that was. He didn’t want to let Ali go. Besides, she was just a friend. He wasn’t in love with her.
His dad had chucked. “Toss that out. You chase that girl and beg on your knees if you have to. Never, never give up on the people you love.”
And so he wouldn’t.