Graciously His (Dark Aotearoa Romance Collection #1)

Chapter 1

Nate

Twenty Years Ago

Isaw her first.

Nick and I were twelve, too old to be playing at the park. The au pair had us that day and all she wanted to do was sit in the shade while the two of us tried to remember how to enjoy swinging across the monkey bars or running up the slide.

The last time we went to a park, I remember thinking, Mum was still alive…

Mum died the year before, her last days spent in a dark room, machines breathing for her.

Dad spent her final hours with the woman who would become our new stepmother.

Mum slept, unable to wake up enough to say goodbye anyway.

It was both loud and quiet in that room, the whoosh of air in the mechanical lungs, the beeping of her heartbeat, and the silence of her voice, choked by the tube down her throat.

I forced the hospital from my mind, scrubbing my hands down my jeans to bring myself back to the present. No point in dwelling on the time before. Before she died. Before Dad stopped caring.

Looking around the old wooden playground, I asked Nick what he wanted to do. He mentioned playing Sandman, that old kids’ game, but I shook my head.

“Let’s do pull-ups, then,” he said, indicating the orange monkey bars. “I bet I can do more than you.”

I snorted. We both knew I was the stronger twin.

“Come on,” he said, his signature smile in place. “I bet I beat you this time.”

It wasn’t the competitive jab that tipped me towards saying yes; it was that smile, crinkling his eyes and showing only the gums over his front teeth.

I looked around. The park had three structures, all silvered wood at least a decade old. Something caught my eye behind Nick, the flash of a lacy hem around the corner of one wooden wall.

“Fine,” I said. “You start.”

Nick jumped and caught a middle rung. Slowly, he pulled himself up until his head was between two bars. I imagined them closing horizontally, a playground guillotine.

“That’s one,” I said, “keep going.”

I watched his next pull-up, trying and failing to shake the image of his head being lopped off. A soft noise issued from somewhere close and I remembered the flash of lace. A distraction. Good.

Certain Nick was engaged in his next pull-up, I peered through the shadows beneath the structure to find a pair of eyes looking back.

A girl stared at me from between two wooden slats.

I grinned, hoping to seem friendly. She gave me a playful look and disappeared.

I ducked out the other side, watching as that edge of lace whipped around the next structure.

I followed, half an ear on Nick, who was up to five pull-ups.

I almost caught her at the top of the structure, but she launched herself down the yellow tube slide.

All I got was the impression of pretty features—big eyes, button nose, small mouth—but I was intrigued.

A quick glance to make sure the au pair was absorbed in her book, and I followed the girl down the slide.

It was such a tight, awkward fit that I had to propel myself with my hands.

I landed in the wood chips at the bottom, already looking around. Another glimpse of lace beneath the slide. I drew near, moving the way Mum had when she’d approached the feral kittens she used to rescue.

“Come here, little heart,” I said, using Mum’s name for every cat she came across.

Distantly, I heard Nick ask a question.

The girl slipped under the curve of the slide, her back to the wooden staircase.

She had wavy brown hair past her shoulders and the prettiest way of moving, even when she stood still.

Each breath gave the impression of weight, of intentions settling from her lungs down to her toes.

She was nearly the same height as me and, without her innocent frolicking, I saw something dark in her eyes.

“Who are you?”

Another couple of steps and I would be at arm’s length.

“Grace.”

“Nate,” I said forcefully, as if I might hold her there with my name alone. “We’ve been here for weeks and I’ve never seen you before.”

Her eyes darted to the line of townhouses across from the playground. “Mother doesn’t like me leaving the house, but I saw you were here.”

I followed her gaze to the house at the end. Even at a distance, I could see cracked window sills and peeling paint on the front door. It stood half-open.

“Did you run away?”

She nodded. I took a step closer, staring into her eyes. Soft brown shot through with striations of amber. Their expression of pain and wisdom held me captive.

“If that’s your house, you’ve not gotten very far, have you?”

“No, I never manage to get far. But someday I want to run away properly.”

I held out my hand. “Come with me, little heart. I can take you away. Right now.”

Her eyes widened, the smile replaced by a serious expression that was too old for her small face.

“Yes, please.”

That brought me up short. I hadn’t expected her to agree, let alone so sweetly.

“Where will you take me?” she asked.

I hesitated, but only for a moment.

“Back to the North Island. There’s a spare bunk under a table in the caravan, so you can stay out of sight. My dad and stepmother won’t even notice.” My confidence built as I considered the plan. “Once we’re home, you’ll live in my room. I’ll keep you.”

“Really?” Her chest moved too fast beneath the lace. “Will you really?”

“Yes.”

“And do you have food that doesn’t hurt?” She looked away, back towards the dilapidated house. “Mother’s food hurts my stomach. Do you have food that won’t hurt?”

“Yes,” I said, though I had no idea what she meant. “I’ll find you some. Come on, we should hurry.”

I took her hand, ready to sneak her into the caravan and hide her in that little bunk under the table. We were at the edge of the playground, her fingers laced through mine, when Nick spoke from behind us.

“I did eleven! Oh—” He saw Grace. “Who’s that, Nate?”

I stepped in front of her, already sensing the inevitable shift when people realised he was the better twin.

“She needs help,” I said.

He frowned. “Why?”

I didn’t know how to say what I’d sensed, but the answer arrived before I could say a word.

“Graciously?” A woman shouted from the street side of the playground. “GRACIOUSLY!”

I tightened my grip on Grace, stepping forward to block the woman’s view of her.

“Nick,” I hissed, “help me hide her.”

His eyes, a warmer grey than mine, darted from the girl to the woman. She marched across the grass towards the playground, the morning light glinting off her sunglasses, her scowl visible at a distance.

“Is that her mum?” Nick asked nervously, stepping up beside me. I wanted to shove him away.

“Yes,” Grace answered for me, “she’ll make me come home and—”

She bit her lip and my jaw tensed.

“Nick,” I said, “you go distract Grace’s mum. Tell her you saw Grace going up the road towards the beach. Lead her that way. I’ll—”

“We don’t even know that girl. And her mum looks really worried.”

“She needs to go, Nick, we can’t just—”

Grace interrupted. “She keeps giving me food that hurts…” Her voice faded into nothing, and I felt my gut squeeze. She tried again. “Please, I need to get away.”

“Come with me,” I said. “I’ll find you good food. I’ll take you—”

The au pair chose that moment to do her job. I’d forgotten she even existed. She walked up, one finger marking her place in her book, her eyes meeting mine.

“Nate,” she said, “that girl’s mum is looking for her. Let her go.”

I glared, resenting her ability to discern which twin I was.

She was the most tenacious in a long line of au pairs and, as my stepmother said, she was more proactive than any of the others.

This particular proaction made me decide to forget her name forever.

Even now, I can’t tell you the name of this young woman who was studying pre-med during the school year, and who was an annoyingly excellent sitter throughout that summer.

Without her intervention, I never would have lost Grace to Nick.

“Yeah,” Nick agreed sycophantically. “Grace should probably go home now.”

The mother yelled again and I looked at the au pair, then at my twin. Three against two. A quick glance at Grace showed her downcast and resigned. Make that four against one.

So I let Grace go.

She didn’t look back when her mother grabbed her elbow and hauled her towards the mouldy-looking house at the end of the road.

Ten years passed before I encountered Grace again.

And the next time, Nick saw her first.