Chapter Thirty-Nine
Stephen
Can I stay a bit longer?’ Elle asked softly, her bare shoulder brushing the skin of my arm and sending hot and cold flashes through me.
There was a strong possibility the universe had sent Elle to punish me.
Never in my life had I been so undone by tiny physical gestures like kisses on the cheek or holding bloody pinkie fingers. What was she doing to me?
If I liked a woman, I was comfortable with letting her know. It was simple. Gauge her interest in me, ask the woman out, accept her answer. Flirting was a little more organic. I tended to be led by them but if I judged something badly, an apology and backing off was all that was required.
But with Elle…if I made a misstep, if I disappointed her or read her signals wrong, she might never want to speak to me again, never want to see me again, and I hated the thought of that.
I couldn’t cross the line. She’d drawn it and had good reasons to do so, and no matter how much my gut screamed at me that she was giving me signs that she was interested, I needed her to extend an explicit invitation.
Clearing my throat, I looked out of the window again, away from the sight of her slender finger hooked around mine.
Now the firework display had ended, the view was back to its cityscape at nighttime, and the apartment was fully dark around us.
I knew if I looked at her though, she’d be shining like a light my little moth brain wanted to smash itself against repeatedly.
‘Sure,’ I managed to say, like I wasn’t dying inside at how ambiguous her answer had been.
What had I wanted her to say? Strip me naked and use your mouth on me until I’m screaming with ecstasy?
Heat punched into my groin and it took everything within me not to squirm in a way that would bring attention to it.
‘You must be shattered. You can crash in my bed if you want. I’ll take the sofa. ’
She went still and then nodded, leaning away again and removing her finger from mine. It felt like she was ripping off my skin as she went but it was probably for the best. ‘Thanks. You’re right. I should probably go hit the hay.’
I stood up and pointed to the mezzanine floor.
No way was I going to accompany her to my bedroom.
I had a travel toothbrush kit in my suitcase that was in the cupboard by the front door.
I’d just use that and remain down here. ‘You can help yourself to anything; a shower, one of my t-shirts to sleep in, spare tooth brush,’ my sanity. ‘Whatever you need.’
She thanked me again and hopped down from the table. I went the opposite direction, into the kitchen, quietly rinsing out the bottles and putting them in the recycling so I didn’t have to watch her going up to sleep in my bed.
Except my eyes betrayed me as she reached the top of the stairs, and I caught her looking back down at me, face framed with stray waves of unruly red hair, the pale curves of her cheeks and shoulders and thighs catching the minimal light and glowing like a Botticelli model brought to the present day.
Ask me to join you, I begged internally.
But she just gave me a half smile and disappeared into the darkness of the bedroom.
Even if she did want me, she didn’t want it enough to betray her good sense outright…and I was going to have to learn to live with that.