Chapter 20 Grady
Grady
I’m freezing my balls off, but Shelby wants to see the beach with snow.
I tried to explain to her it’s like the lake with snow, which she sees from her damn house in Silver Bay, but she insisted.
So here we are, staring at the fucking waves hitting the snow-covered sand while wind that feels like it has icicles in it smacks my face, clinging to my beard.
“Happy now? Can we go? I’m going to get frostbite.”
Shelby rolls her eyes. She’s probably frowning too, but I can’t see her mouth because she has this giant knitted scarf wrapped around her from the bottom of her neck to the tip of her nose. “That beard is probably thicker than this scarf. Man up.”
I turn and start toward the boardwalk. The closer I get, the deeper the snow.
And then I hear a squeak behind me and look over my shoulder and see Shelby with one leg thigh-deep in a snow bank.
I laugh. She lifts a hand at me, and I think she’s trying to flip me the middle finger.
I turn back and grab her arms and yank, lifting her up and into a fireman’s carry.
“Grady! What the actual fuck?”
“I’m not freezing to death waiting for you,” I grumble. Thankfully, she doesn’t argue. The added weight means I sink with every step, too, but my legs are much longer and I get us to the wooden boardwalk that leads down to my apartment.
I put her down, and she smacks my arm but says, “Thanks.”
We walk down the boardwalk, the butter-yellow Victoria building where I live looms to the right. She looks up at it. “You lucked out with this place. No wonder you high-tailed it back here as soon as Christmas was over.”
“Yeah.” We reach the sidewalk, and I glance up at my home.
The house is divided into three large apartments.
Mine is the top floor, with a great deck overlooking the ocean and, the best part, a hot tub.
I don’t tell Shelby the real reasons I bailed early on Christmas, leaving before the big dinner on Christmas afternoon.
It was because I wanted to get back here and talk to Landon, see if we could get over our little spat.
But he went to U of Maine with his parents because his brother was playing in a Christmas Day tournament.
“I just had it for a year. But I am hoping the owner can be persuaded to sell it to me.”
“You’re growing up, lil brother. Nesting instead of partying. It’s cute.”
“I was like this in L.A. too,” I argue.
“Next will come someone to nest with.”
“You sound like Grandma Nance.”
Shelby clutches her chest through her enormous winter coat. “I think that’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
I smile and start up the stairs. The only downside to this awesome two-bedroom pad is that the only way to it is an outdoor staircase that climbs three levels.
It’s a bitch after a grueling practice, road trip, or rough game.
But at least the landlord has a company clean the stairs when it snows.
I wouldn’t have taken the place if shoveling was part of the deal.
“You’re… single too?”
“Yes.” She stops to catch her breath. “Didn’t you see Grandma Nance’s depressed face when she asked me if I’d met any nice doctors yet at that little job of mine?”
“I missed that. I must have been in the kitchen getting grilled about whether I’ve put enough money away to avoid working for my dad when my hockey thing ends,” I reply, remembering how Grandpa Phil gave me that money speech again. It’s a Christmas ritual like eggnog or ice skating in the backyard.
“Dating isn’t my priority right now.”
“What is?” I ask as I pass her on the stairs, and she starts walking behind me.
“I’m thinking of going back to school. To become a doctor.”
“Really? Shel, that is awesome!”
“In Mexico.”
I stop walking and my head swivels to find her eyes, expecting to see them bright with the lightness of her joke. Because it’s got to be a joke, right? But her eyes are wide, and furtive, and maybe even a little scared. She isn’t joking. “For real?”
“They have an American University of Medicine there. Believe it or not, it’s cheaper than most schools on US soil, and I applied and was accepted to start in their spring semester.
” The words fly out of her mouth, which must be moving a million miles an hour, but I can’t see it because of the scarf.
“I have ten days left to accept or decline the offer.”
“Oh my God, Shelby Garrison, you’re going to be a fucking doctor!” We’ve reached the landing now, so I reach down and pick her up off her feet in a hug.
It’s unusual for us to show physical affection, so to balance it out, I give her a small shove when I put her back on her feet. “Mom is going to lose her shit and brag about you all over Silver Bay.”
“I haven’t told them yet,” she admits as I unlock my front door and hold it open for her to step into my front hall.
I shrug out of my jacket, and she plucks off her knitted hat and starts unraveling the scarf.
Slowly but surely, her face is revealed.
“They’ll be losing you but gaining me, since I’m basically local again.
And besides, Mom and Dad just want us to be happy and achieve our goals.
If yours is school in Mexico, then they’ll back it. ”
“I know. I guess,” she says in a very unconvincing way. She lays her winter gear on the small bench by my front door as I hang my coat in the closet and pull out a hanger for hers.
Shelby’s hair is shorter than I’ve ever seen it. The loose ginger curls fall just past her chin. That’s new. She’s wearing makeup, which is also new. She’s usually a fresh, scrubbed face type of girl because of her long shifts at work.
“You have a date later or something?” I lift an eyebrow as she hands me her coat, and I notice she’s in a soft-looking, curve-hugging sweater that I’d have given her shit for wearing in high school because my teammates and friends would eye fuck her.
“I’m going to your game, idiot, remember?”
“You don’t dress like this, or put in that kind of effort,” I wave a hand around in front of her face, “for a hockey game.”
She frowns and then looks down at her sweater in a shade of green that makes her skin glow and her eyes pop… or maybe that’s the makeup. I need to buy a green dress shirt and see if it does the same for me since we have the same coloring. “Do I look okay?”
“No. You look like you’re gonna attract my single teammates.”
She beams, clearly thinking it’s a compliment. “Oh well.”
I ignore her comment. “Please say Mom and Dad aren’t bringing more family.”
“They mentioned something about Harlow wanting to come. She hasn’t seen you play here yet.”
“She isn’t missing much.”
“Grady, you can’t win every game.”
I walk past her into the kitchen, which opens to the large living room that has a gas fireplace and huge windows facing the beach.
I fill the kettle and turn it on, grabbing two mugs and a chamomile tea for me and a package of hot chocolate for her.
“Back to the doctor stuff. You found out months ago, and you still haven’t told anyone? ”
“Harlow knows and now you.” She walks over to the windows and looks out, folding her arms and rubbing them.
“I want it. I just… I discussed it with Grandma and Grandpa in the summer, when I applied. I was kind of trying to set the stage to segue into the conversation about me going away for school. As soon as I broached the idea of becoming a doctor, before I even mentioned that I had applied to schools, Grandma says…” She pauses, and I know she’s going to do a voice, mimicking our grandma.
“Shel, baby, you have a job. It’s fine, and you’re good at it.
You should concentrate on finding a doctor to marry, not becoming one. ”
I don’t have to ask which grandmother she’s talking about. I know it’s my mom’s mom, Gram Nance. Grandma Donna would have given Shelby the stamps to mail the applications. “And I’m guessing Gramps was equally unsupportive.”
She snorts. “He told me to be realistic.”
“Were they jerks like this to Mom, too?” I question for what isn’t the first time.
“I bet they were, but you know, Mom, she has an incredible ability to block out negativity. Probably because she was raised by them,” Shelby says as the kettle boils and I start to fill the cups.
“Tell Mom and Dad tonight, Shel. And accept the offer,” I tell her. I pick up the mugs and carry them out of the kitchen. “Let’s be honest, the only person the grandparents are proud of is Isaac.”
“Ah, yes, Pastor Isaac.” I roll my eyes as she flashes me a grateful smile for the hot chocolate she takes from my hand.
“The ironic part is he fucked off to Georgia and hardly ever calls them. Meanwhile, you’re the one who takes them to and from medical appointments all the time, and weeds their garden in the summer and picks up their prescriptions. ”
“Mom will have to do all that now.”
“She can handle it,” I assure her. “Or I can call Isaac and tell him he has to come back to Maine. I’m sure there’s a church that needs his style of bullshit.”
“Grandma would gasp if she heard you referring to God as bullshit,” Shelby warns, but she’s smiling.
She isn’t a church-goer either. Thankfully, Mom never forced us to go, and the Garrison side of our family is what I would call spiritual but not religious.
But my mom’s parents and that entire side are really into religion.
My only cousin, Isaac, who is my mom’s only sibling’s kid, became a pastor.
“Not God,” I correct my sister. “Religion.”
“They don’t see the difference.”
I smirk. “They also think that you’re sinning because you haven’t fulfilled your womanly duties of procreating and that Mom let God down when she married a dude who owned a… what did Grams call it?”
“A den of sin,” Shelby says, referring to my dad’s business, which is the most popular bar in Silver Bay.
We both smile at each other over our mugs.
She pulls her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans and seems to get lost in it for a second as she scrolls, looking for something in her email, but she says to me, “By the way, Kerry and Lauren are going to the game too, and they want to see you afterward.”
I groan. Kerry and Lauren are Shelby’s friends from high school.
They’ve been hitting on me since tenth grade.
Honestly, if I were straight, I might have dated Kerry.
She’s cool, but Lauren’s a Mean Girl. I don’t know why Shelby still talks to her.
Shelby lifts her eyes and pins me with a stone-cold stare.
“Fine. Whatever. I’ll put their names on the list at will call, and you can bring them to the VIP room after the game.
Maybe they’ll find someone else to sexually harass. ”
She snorts and then turns her phone screen toward me. The acceptance letter for med school is on her screen. “Shelby, seriously, you’re a fucking rock star. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks. I’m gonna accept right now.” She scrolls some more and taps the screen a few times, and then she lets out a little squeal. “Done!”
“Congrats, Doc Garrison.” I clink my mug to hers and we both take sips. “Is that why you’re all dressed up? To tell me your news? Or is it because of the Mean Girls you’re meeting at the game?”
“Shut up. They aren’t mean. They’re fine.” She scoffs. “Anyway, I’ve never cared what they think of how I dress. But your reaction is exactly what I was hoping for. So… Conner mentioned Landon Casco is single now?”
Oh no. No. No. Abso-fucking-lutely not.
“I wouldn’t call him single.”
I wouldn’t? Why did I say that?
“Conner said that the girlfriend moved back to California?”
“Yeah.”
Her hopeful expression flickers. “So they’re doing long-distance? Really?”
“No.”
“So he’s single.”
Okay, Grady, here’s your chance to tell the truth. “No. Not exactly.”
Why the hell did I say that again? I have no claim to him. I do not want a claim on him. I’ve told myself that a million times. I don’t do relationships.
Shelby is staring at me like she doesn’t recognize me. A single eyebrow lifts. “Oh, come on. You never cared if I dated a hockey player before.”
“Yeah, but… not him, Shel.” The words come out as a strangled plea, which startles even me.
But my sister can’t date my… crush. I swallow.
“Look, Landon is in a messy place emotionally, and it’s affecting his game.
I don’t think that it’s the right time, and also…
not him. Like ever. Okay? I’m sorry. You’re right, I’ve never vetoed anyone or gotten involved in your dating life, but just not Landon. Please.”
She’s looking at me like I’m crazy. I don’t doubt I sound it, and this is not like me.
I want to tell her about things. I want to tell her about me, but I can’t.
I just can’t. And it’s not that Shelby wouldn’t support me.
She would be absolutely fine with me being gay.
It’s just that if she knows, she has to carry that secret too, and I won’t do that.
It’s bad enough that one person in the family knows.
“Did something happen between you two?” she questions. “Because last year you guys seemed like best friends, and this year, I mean, you moved out of his place so abruptly. It seemed weird at the time.”
“This rental was a perfect opportunity. I had to jump on it,” I explain and move to the couch, where I sit down and put my feet up on the coffee table. “And I knew things were melting down with him and Angie, and I didn’t want to make it worse, or be in the way.”
“So he is single?”
“NO,” I bark out, and she laughs.
“Fine. Whatever. Does he have a brother?”
I smile. “He’s, like, twelve.”
“Boo.” Shelby frowns.
I don’t think Landon would get involved with my sister, but I don’t even want him to have the option, and maybe that’s selfish of me, but I can’t seem to care.
It’s not my first rodeo when it comes to watching people I’ve been intimate with date one of my relatives.
I had a very brief, but fulfilling bed buddy situation with Crew Westwood, who has since fallen in love with my cousin Liv, and it was a little weird at first. He and I had to have a frank discussion, but I couldn’t be happier for them.
The difference here is I have feelings for Landon.
I mean, I can’t act on them, not really, but they’re there.
Shelby sighs. “Probably for the best because I’m leaving anyway.”
“To become a doctor,” I add with a smile. “My stupid smart sister.”
“Go take your mandatory pre-game nap while I fuck with your Netflix algorithm,” Shelby grins and drops down next to me on the sofa, stealing the remote for the TV off the coffee table.
I grumble, like she’s a giant pain in my ass, but I’m smiling as I head down the hall into my bedroom.