Chapter 24 #2
I pause at the thought, dropping the T-shirt I was holding to the floor.
It’s just a job.
I find myself laughing hysterically in the confinements of the wardrobe. It’s just a job. My laugh soon turns into tears.
I wish it were just a job.
The ping of the elevator has my eyes snapping open. I must have drifted off watching the television. My eyes feel heavy, and I know it will be obvious to Mason that I’ve been crying. I sit up and look at him over the top of the sofa. He looks tired. His eyes just as red as I expect mine are.
“Did you even come home last night?” I ask before he can greet me.
“I did. It was late and I had to be up early this morning.”
I nod my head waiting for him to come to me. He doesn’t. “Is everything okay, Mase?” My throat bobs, and I know I’m going to cry any second.
His brows pinch in, his fists clenched at his sides. “Yeah, sorry, are you okay? How was your day?”
“It was fine, I didn’t do much. Have you heard from your dad lately?” I ask, trying to not bother him with my own problems.
“Uh, yeah. I spoke to Scar yesterday.”
“Have you spoken to him, though?”
“Not since I took him to the hospital.”
I drop my head to the side. “Mase.”
“Don’t, Nina. Why are you bringing this up? I don’t want a lecture on my dad right now,” he snaps.
I sit back affronted. What on earth? “I wasn’t giving you a lecture. But I think you should give him a call.” I roll my lips. “Scar told me about the transplant.”
He scoffs, rolling his eyes and looking to the ceiling. “You don’t need to worry yourself with it. Let me deal with my own shit.”
My eyebrows pinch together. “Why are you getting angry?”
“Because you think you always know best about him but you don’t. You don’t even know him, and I’m not interested in continuing this conversation after just getting in the door.”
“Okay,” I say, shocked at his outburst.
He pinches the bridge of his nose, not looking at me. “I’m going to go shower. Have you eaten?”
I sit cross-legged with my back to him, staring at the coffee table, tears staining my face and dripping onto my leggings.
“Nina.”
“What?” I snap.
“Whatever.” He huffs and takes off towards the stairs.
Mase
My jaw clenches tight as I lean my arms against the shower wall, the water cascading down my back.
I clench my eyes tight as I think back to everything Lance told me this afternoon. Cara is back in Australia. She sold the studio, and I seem to have more control than ever.
For nearly two years, it’s all I’ve wanted, yet now I have it; my world feels like it is slipping through my fingers.
I stare down at the tiles, watching as the water runs down the drain.
Because the woman I love, the woman who still tries to put on a brave face for me, tries to fix me, she sits on my sofa none the wiser to who I am and what I have done.
And I have no idea how to face that.
Nina
After last night’s argument, I found myself waiting for Mason to come find me. He didn’t. I spent the entire night in the spare room.
I need him.
Probably more than I care to admit, and he hasn’t been here.
It has me questioning everything I thought he was.
Everything I thought we were.
I stare down at my bangle. I promise you forever, my Pixie.
My head hits the back of the seat, and I tell myself I’m doing the right thing. I have to push my own problems to the back of my mind right now. Mason has a lot going on, and I want to be there for him.
It’s why I’m in a taxi and on my way to Lowerwick. I want to do something, something that will take my mind off of the studio, and something that will allow me to be there for Mason’s family while he can’t.
After contacting the girls from the studio, I felt reassured. They all vowed to practice at home until I found a space, but I know the more days that tick by, the lesser our chances are at winning the showcase. Losing the studio couldn’t have come at a worse time.
Henry picked up work with his dad on a building site for the time being.
He’s a chilled guy and didn’t stress that he was out of a job.
And Logan has been on the phone constantly worrying about me.
Unlike Henry, he doesn’t have a job or any idea what he’s going to do, but his only concern is how I am.
I hope we can find somewhere with a similar set up for both of our sakes.
Lowerwick comes into view, cutting off my thoughts, its beauty undeniable and captivating. It baffles me that Mason can be so absent from his childhood home when it is so beautiful.
I pay the taxi and cringe at the amount. It’s foolish of me to be spending so much when I am in such a financial mess.
Taking the sprawling steps, I knock on the door and wait.
After a few minutes, I try again, but no one answers. I push on the handle, and it opens.
“Hello?”
I walk into the entrance and peer into both the rooms on my left and right, but they’re empty.
The entire house is silent, no life or soul, and no love. It was full of it when I was here before, the Montgomerys and Lowells as one, but looking around now I can see it as the broken home that it is.
My heart hurts for Mason, and I find myself rubbing absently at my chest.
“Hello,” I call out again, moving farther into the house.
I hear a light cough, and I halt in my steps. “Anthony?”
“Who’s that?”
I push open the door at the end of the corridor and find a small living room. Anthony rises from the chair, and straightaway I notice the pained look on his face.
“Oh, don’t stand! Here.” I grab the cushion that has fallen and prop it up against his back as he gives up and sits back in his seat.
“Nina, I’m sorry, I must have nodded off. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I didn’t tell anyone I was coming. Sorry, I should have called.”
“No, you’re always welcome here. Scarlet is here somewhere. You will have to give her a call; as you know, it’s a big house—she could be anywhere.”
“That’s okay. Can I get you a drink?” I ask, feeling a little awkward.
“No, no. I’m grand love.” He waves his hand around.
He doesn’t look grand. His skin looks off-colour and frail—even more so than before.
“How have you been?” I ask, unsure of my words.
I feel bad for disturbing him.
“Good, it’s been beautiful weather the last couple of days. I’ve been out on the meadow for the most part.”
“The meadow?”
“Yeah, it’s on the other side of the estate. Mase has never mentioned it?” he asks, sounding slightly gutted as his brows draw in.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Hmm,” he sniggers. “Do you want to see it?”
His eyes light up in excitement.
“I’d love to!”
I go to help him from the chair, but he shrugs me off. It’s as if speaking of the meadow has bought him a new lease on life. It makes me smile.
“I may need a new liver, but my legs still work, young lady.”
“Sorry,” I mutter as he chuckles.
“Come on.”
I follow him out of the house and down to a garage. He lifts the door and smiles over at me.
“I thought you said your legs work fine.” I laugh, climbing up into the golf-style buggy.
He doesn’t say anything as he sits in the driving seat and pulls out of the garage.
It’s a bumpy ride down to the meadow, but it’s worth it. Sat two fields away from the estate, the most beautiful meadow lies covered in an array of wildflowers. The grass is greener than any grass I’ve ever seen. It’s bright and vibrant, and seems full of life.
Trees line the boundary but open up at the bottom of the hillside. Anthony comes to a stop at the gate, and I jump out to open it.
He speeds in past me, his eyes sparkling in delight.
I can tell he is loving this.
“It’s beautiful,” I beam, slipping back into the buggy beside him.
He shakes his head, smirking at me, and I see so much of my beautiful man in that look, it makes my chest constrict.
They are so alike.
“You’ve not seen nothing yet. Hold on.”
He takes off through the flowers, and I spin in my seat, shocked. “Anthony, the flowers!”
He laughs freely. “They will bounce back.”
I look behind us to see the trail of destruction, but my eyes lift instead to the beautiful view.
We come to a stop at the top of the hill, and I sit speechless in my seat as I absorb Lowerwick in all its beauty. I can see the entire estate from here, and it seems so much bigger, grander. More.
“Wow,” I mutter.
“Look at this,” he says, tapping my arm.
I turn, my eyes following his finger to where he is pointing, and the view in front of me takes my breath away. At the bottom of the meadow sits a glistening lake. I see no end to it, just miles and miles of uninterrupted water.
Stepping from the buggy to get a better look, I take in the paddle boat and rope swing that lies broken on the floor.
Mason.
“He loved it out here. They both did.”
I twist towards him. “They don’t come here anymore?”
“Scarlet does. Nearly every day. Mase hasn’t been in years.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, turning fully to take in Lowerwick at my back.
“This has to be the most peaceful place on earth,” I tell him.
“It is.” He smiles sadly. He steps from the buggy and sits on the grass, then nods his head to the spot beside him, encouraging me to drop down next to him. “You see there—to the left of the property.” He points.
I squint, trying to work out where he means—until I spot it.
The headstone stands large and proud in a garden of colourful flowers.
“Ellis. Your wife.”
“When she first passed, Mason and Scarlet would play on the lake while I sat here. So she could watch them with me.”
“It’s perfect.” Tears fill my eyes—there’s no controlling them—and I try to blink them away.
“It is, isn’t it.” He picks at the grass, rolling it between his fingers then letting it go in the light breeze.
“Scarlet will never leave, and that fills me with so much joy, but I always hoped Mason would end up back here one day. That maybe I’d see my grandchildren play on the lake, and I could sit on the hill and watch them with her. Like we watched our children.”
I roll my lips, not knowing how to reassure him when his life seems so uncertain. “I have faith in him, faith that he will come around. Deep down he loves it here.” I grasp my collarbone, closing my eyes briefly as I process that lie.
Does Mason love it here? Maybe that’s something I can talk to him about.
“I wish that were true, Nina.” He smiles warmly at me. “You’re good for him, I can see that. Scarlet even more so. She’s left me alone twice this week to do girly lunch.” He bumps me with his shoulder, lightening the mood.
“She is incredible. They both are.” I grin, feeling my dimple pop.
“What brought you out here today anyway?” he asks.
“I lost my job.”
“Ah, yes. The studio.”
“How do you know about that?”
He frowns. “Scarlet, she mentioned it had been sold. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah, I’m gutted about it. I’m looking for somewhere new, though, and something will come up.”
“Good things come to us when we are least expecting them, Nina. Believe in that, and you will be just fine.”
I replay Anthony’s words in my head as we sit on the meadow together for over an hour, taking in the scenery. No conversation needed—just the sun on our backs and the hope for better days.