Chapter 33 #3
“And you always go back. Like how you’d come to mine when your mum was working.
You’d have no trouble leaving, getting the space you needed because it was what felt right for you.
But you always went back, willing and hopeful for it to be better when you got home.
” She looks at me, her lip turning up on one side.
“It’s why I knew you’d go back to him. You shouldn’t feel bad about it.
And you shouldn’t let it hold you back. Marrying Mason Lowell would be…
” I raise an arched brow at her. “Scary. Hot as hell, but petrifying. I mean, he isn’t your typical husband.
” She laughs. “But you have to make shitty mistakes to learn. We both know that. And for the record, I don’t think marriage would be a mistake.
No matter what he did, you decided to put it in the past.”
I haven’t told the girls about the studio and why Mason sold it. They know he did and that Erin isn’t who she says she is, but I agreed that no one else should be involved beyond that, and the girls never asked questions once I explained it was all I could say.
I run my fingers through the sand beneath me. “It’s the trust thing. It will come in time I’m sure. Or I hope it will. But right now, it’s not there—not fully.”
“Because he sold the studio?” I look at her. “Because of the things that he kept from you, that you have to keep from me?”
“Exactly that.” I chuckle.
“It will come, Nina. I think he’s a really special guy. It’s obvious he adores you.”
I drop my head back and look up at the sky. Soft pink hues painting it a mesmerising shade as the night draws in. The air is warm, and I feel completely relaxed.
“Twenty-nine tomorrow, Luce.” I grin, feeling her lie down next to me.
“Ugh, don’t. I’m getting old.”
“You are not old! You’re in your prime. Embrace it.”
“Remember when we were young, and twenty-eight-year-olds seemed so mature and put together.”
“Uh-huh.” I nod, reminiscing.
“Well, I don’t feel like that. Put together or mature. In my head, I’m twenty-one still. I consider going back to uni on the daily, yet I love my job. I can’t hold down a relationship because what I want isn’t real.” She blows out a harsh breath. “I applied for an internship in New York.”
“What? When?”
“Three months ago. I got it. They gave me four months to respond.”
I sit up in a rush, turning to look down at her. “Luce! That’s huge.”
“I turned it down.”
“What?!”
I see her throat bob as she swallows the lump there.
She regrets it.
“I didn’t think I could do it on my own. I’m twenty-nine tomorrow,” she sniggers. “and I don’t feel independent. I don’t feel like I’m my own person.”
“What makes you think you aren’t independent? You’re one of the most grounded people I know, Luce.”
She shrugs, looking for the right words. “I guess it’s me holding myself back, and I feel like I should be loyal to Jean. I don’t know what she’d do without me.”
“The fact you worry about being loyal says everything about your loyalty. Jean wouldn’t let you stay if she knew. You know that.”
“I know, which is why it’s a rubbish excuse.”
“You don’t want to go,” I state.
She shrugs, smiling softly. “My gut told me no.”
“Then you did the right thing,” I affirm. “Don’t ever think you need to be more than you are right now, Luce. You may be feeling a little lost, but I know exactly who you are. So do you, deep down.”
“Thanks, Nina.”
“Always.” I stand and take her hands, urging her to get up. “And don’t worry, there’s always Botox.”
“Piss off, you cheeky bitch.” She laughs, standing and slipping her arm in mine as we head for the shoreline.
It’s late afternoon, and the girls are all holed up in Mason’s and my room. The boys are sat below us on the patio, their chatter drifting up and into the room.
We’ve been here for four days and have to go home soon, and I don’t want to leave. Mason is happy here, and I mean really happy, which is remarkable given what he and Scar have endured recently.
I wish we could hide away here forever.
Me and my Mase. The happy version, where there isn’t work and money and responsibility.
I pull open the shower door and frown. Megan is in the bathroom pulling on a floral two-piece.
“I’m pretty sure that’s mine,” I tell her.
“But look how good it looks on me.” She pouts.
“I know, it’s super cute. That’s why I bought it.” I smile, checking her out as I slip on my underwear. “It does wonders for your tits mind.”
“Right!” She sulks as she starts taking it off. Lucy and Scarlet are already dressed and are lying on the bed, looking at something on Lucy’s phone. I drop my towel and start to dress.
I can feel Megan watching me as I pull on the shorts. “Fuck off. It’s my outfit; get your own.” I chuckle.
“I wasn’t looking at that.” She nods to my stomach and frowns.
I look down, running my hand across my belly defensively. “What?”
“Turn to the side.”
I spin and look down in the mirror, noticing Lucy and Scarlet’s eyes now on me also. “I’m really bloated,” I say in annoyance, slumping my shoulders and pulling the shorts higher over my hips. “I’m due on, I think.”
“That’s quite the bloat.”
“Alright! I haven’t been dancing as much. I’m back to it now, though. It won’t take long to lose the few pounds I’ve put on.”
“Oh, please! You look phenomenal. That’s not what I meant, silly.” Megan tries to assure me, but I feel crappy. “You have… a… a little… bump.” Her brows shoot up as she says it.
“Nina?” Lucy questions.
“I’m due on, and I’m bloated. Stop being a dick, Megs!” I tut. “I’m on the pill.”
“Nobody actually said that word,” Megan says.
“But you implied. With your judgey eyes.” I glare, pulling the top over my head.
“Nina.” Megan steps up to me. She isn’t a serious person, but the look she gives me fills me with worry, and my gut twists. “Babe, it doesn’t look like bloat. I’m not being mean. When are you due on?”
Panic fills me as I run my hand over my stomach, trying to think.
Fuck, when am I due on?
“I can’t think.”
“Don’t panic,” Lucy coos, jumping up from the bed and coming to me.
“Do you track your periods?” Scarlet asks.
“Yes, always.” I run my hand through my hair and notice I’m shaking.
I’m on the pill. This is ridiculous. I’ve not been dancing, and they’re working me up over nothing. I’ve been in a bikini the whole holiday, if it were anything other than bloat they would have noticed before. I would have noticed.
“Where is your phone?” Lucy starts moving around the room in search of it.
I rack my brain, thinking back to the last time I had a period.
And then it comes to me. “The day I crashed Mase’s car. I came on that night. He almost called an ambulance.”
“When was that?” Megan snaps.
I stare at her. “I don’t know.” Fuck! “I can’t think.”
Lucy takes my hand, her face panicked. “Nina, are you pregnant?”