Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
Mase
My phone starts ringing in my pocket the second the doors close. I slide it out and spot Vinny’s name lighting up the screen.
“Vin?”
“Nolan just called. He went to make his visits at the clinic this morning and a discharge had been filed. Scott’s on it and I’m waiting to get more information.”
“She left?”
“I’m sorry, Mason.”
“Fucking perfect.” I drop my head back and stare blankly at the fluorescent lights.
“I’ll call when I know more,” he tells me, sounding busy.
“Yeah.” I hang up.
My head falls back to the mirror, my eyes closing for a moment before the doors slide open. Lance is standing in the doorway.
Surprise lights up his face and then it goes slack as he takes in my slouched form.
“Lowell, you all good, my man?” He steps inside and hits the button for a couple floors up.
“You ever do something thinking you’re helping but it goes to shit, and you just know when the wrong person finds out it’s going to blow up in your face?” I bring my eyes to him.
“Well, yeah. We’re all human right?” He shrugs.
“Right.” Nina won’t see it like that though. She’ll call me out. Find the monetary value in my actions and miss the need I have to make her happy. It’s why we can’t do this yet. “Nina told me she loves me today.”
He frowns, fixing his tie in the mirror. “Is this about Jasmine?”
“No.” I wave him off, done with the conversation. “Forget it.” I pull myself up straight and drag my hand through my hair.
“Lowell, I—”
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out again, laughing when I see the name on the screen. “My sister.” I shake my head at Lance. Could this day get any more fucked?
Lance frowns, not following.
“Sullivan, when you meet her—your girl—do yourself a favour and take your balls off at the front door. You’re gonna lose them eventually anyway.” I slap him on the back, pushing him forward and out onto the floor he was headed for.
Everything is happening quicker than I planned, and none of it with the result I wanted. With the day from hell still brewing and hanging over my head with Scarlet’s call, I go back to my office and do something I haven’t done in months. I clear up my things and I go home.
The penthouse is silent when I get in. It’s still and lifeless without Ellis who seems to light everything up when he’s here.
I had him for the entire weekend, and it still wasn’t enough.
There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s safe and loved with Nina, but I also know that for the days he isn’t with me, I’m missing things.
The smiles, the giggles, and the tears when he needs me.
It’s all things I’ve grown to know and love and miss.
She told me she loves me.
She told me she couldn’t do it anymore.
And I told her no.
I told her I couldn’t be with her.
What a load of bullshit.
They’re what this apartment needs. They’re all I need.
Life.
Soul.
Laughter.
If I thought now was the right time to reel her back to me, I’d do it—in an instant. But she proved today that she still can’t handle my money. I don’t know how we will ever get past that when it’s such a big part of my life.
I have money.
I use it.
So what?
Maybe I’m being an ass. She told me she wanted me, she all but kissed me, and damn was it hard to stop myself from pulling her lips deeper onto mine. Maybe I should give her the chance—prove that she won’t run.
I expected her to leave and not let me explain about Jasmine. I sure as shit didn’t expect her to tell me she loved me.
I thought I had more time.
Nothing is ready.
Would I have tried to kiss her in the laundry room if I knew she was so close? I’d like to think not, but now she is left wondering why, and my only reasoning for her, was that I want her, but can’t trust her.
Leaving the lights off downstairs, I take the steps two at a time and disappear into my bedroom, flicking on the lights, then heading for a shower.
The hot spray hits my back and I rest my head to the tile, welcoming the cold contrast.
I need to clear my thoughts. Work out what the hell I want.
With Vinny’s phone call earlier and Scarlet, who I’m yet to deal with, I know that the next few days aren’t going to get any easier.
There’s something I know will help though.
And I’m a selfish bastard to ask for it.
Nina
“Mum, Mum, Ma.”
“Hello, my baby!” My voice cracks as I reach out to take Ellis from Lucy’s arms, giving away the emotions that threaten to break through.
It’s been the longest day. After I left Mason’s office, I went to work and didn’t give myself the chance to stop until my shift was done. If I’d stopped, I’d have cracked.
Lucy’s frown is instant, and I shake my head to tell her not to ask. “I’ve missed you, Ellis.” I hug his small body to my chest, and he drops his head there. “Have you been a good boy for Nanny Mags?”
“Mum said he was an angel as always. He had a pouch thing for his tea because they’re going out. She said he ate really well, though.”
“Thank you for dropping him back. Is your mum okay?”
“Yeah, Dad is taking her to the cinema tonight, so she asked if I would bring him home.” She leans in, smoothing her hand over his hair and he reaches for her. “Which is perfect isn’t it, mate, because we have missed Auntie Lucy cuddles!” She tickles his neck, and he falls into her. “Haven’t we!”
I inch away, pouting. “Hey! Mummy gets the cuddles now. I need you tonight little man.” I breathe him in, the smell of his shampoo and baby oil grounding me again.
I can feel Lucy’s eyes on me. “Hmmm. Does Mummy have wine in the fridge?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Get Ellis a bottle and I will get the wine.”
“You don’t have to stay,” I tell her, but I hope she will.
“I know.” She disappears to the kitchen, and I look down at Ellis with a smile. We are so flipping lucky.
“Come on.” She walks past us and towards my bedroom.
“Where are you going?”
“To bed. You don’t want me to leave, and I want to know what’s going on in that head of yours.”
Half an hour later, Ellis is curled up beside me facing my chest and snuggling into my arm. Lucy is lying on her side with her head propped up on a pillow. I’ve told her pretty much everything, from Joey and the photos to Jasmine being my sister.
“So I left after he explained everything, and when I got to the elevators, he followed me in. He was holding me, and after everything I had just been told and after a weekend away from Ellis, I just needed to feel… closer.”
“And so, you told him you loved him?”
I nod, sliding down the bed slightly. “And then he told me he didn’t trust me.”
“Didn’t he try and kiss you just a few weeks ago?”
“He said he wants me, but he doesn’t trust me not to run.” I shrug. “I get it because I left him when he didn’t do what I accused him of. But I really don’t think I’d run again. If I can get over Jasmine, like I did the studio and Cara, surely we can get over anything?”
“I guess, but you’re not solely to blame here. You both have things to work on.”
“I know that. But I think we are at our best when we’re together. Elliot told me about how badly it affected him when his mum died. Then he lost his dad, too. I think when I run from him he spirals, and that’s not going to heal with us apart. I have to show him I’ll stay.”
“So you’re willing to try again with him? Even though he does things that hurt you, maybe not intentionally, but he does.”
“I love him, Luce.” I shrug.
“I know, and that actually makes me incredibly proud of you. You’ve changed. Ellis has changed you.”
“You think?” I chuckle, taking a sip from my glass.
“Okay, so you still drown your sorrows in wine.” She grins. “But Nina Anderson wearing her heart on her sleeve and putting it on the line for a man? You’ve changed.”
“Hmm, maybe. Twenty-nine years and you’re finally rubbing off on me.”
“Nah, you haven’t reached my soppiness level yet.” She rests her head back on the pillow, her hands on her stomach.
“So, what now?” she asks after a beat.
I sigh, internally cringing as I think about everything I said to him in the elevator. “I go into hiding. Never look him in the eye again.”
“You waited twenty-seven years for your pixie, Mason.” She mocks in a stupid voice. “I would wait forever for you.”
I rip the pillow out from under her head and whack it on her face. “Piss off!”
“You’re not going into hiding, although that was deep even for my standards.”
“You aren’t helping.”
She sits up on the bed, crossing her legs. “You need a plan.”
I don’t move, too comfortable lying back against the pillows. “What sort of plan?”
“He can’t trust you if he doesn’t let you in, right?”
“Right.” I nod.
“So you make him let you in.”
I snicker, giving her a look. “You don’t make a man like Mason Lowell do anything.”
“You can. I’ve seen it. You bring that man to his knees.”
“Yeah and look how that ended.”
“Stop being such a negative ninny! Do you want him? You, Ellis, and Mason, as a family one day.”
More than anything. “Yes.”
“You made decisions that in hindsight were rash and maybe wrong, but I get it. I understood when it happened, and I still do now—you did nothing wrong, so don’t beat yourself up over it for another second. But Mason doesn’t understand it, he just thinks you ran because it was easier than staying.”
“So, the plan is to make him understand why I ran?”
“No, you said it yourself… you don’t make a man like Mason Lowell do anything. You.”
She points. “Make him want you so bad, he has no other option but to let you in. Make him want you so bad he can’t tell you no. Then in time, he will see that you aren’t going anywhere.”
“That sounds terrible. I’m not desperate.”
“No? Then let him go.” She shrugs as if it’s that simple.
I glare at her, knowing that the only way to show Mason I’m serious is to build the foundations again.
And that’s what I will do.
Luce
Operation bring him to his MF knees is ON!!! You got this girl!!! Look hot today xo
I smile up at my phone, and Lucy’s obvious attempt to hype me.