Chapter 23 #2
Do we have a habit of making the good memories seem better than they had been, and the bad worse than it was? Because the bad always seems terrible looking back, but in the moment we always get through it, right?
“I don’t feel like I cling on to anything from being here,” he says. “Bad or good.”
“It was always sunny,” I state with a smile, squeezing his hand in mine.
When he finally turns and looks down at me, giving me a bright smile despite his saddened eyes, I know everything is going to be okay. “What now, my beautiful Pixie?”
I loved my Pixie then, Nina, and I love my Pixie now.
Feeling the need to lighten the mood, I look down at his shirt that I have on, then to the lake, letting my dimple pop as I bite my lip.
“It’s fucking freezing, baby.” He grins.
I take off down the hill, letting the wind whip through my hair as I run for the water’s edge. Lifting the hem, I pull the shirt over my head and chuck it to the ground, then turn, finding Mason watching me as I slide off his boxers.
“You’re fucking beautiful.”
“Come with me.” I turn and wade into the water, my eyes widening when I realise how cold it is.
“Shit,” I mutter under my breath.
“Nina, you can’t go in there,” he chuckles as he calls out to me. “It’s too cold this time of year.”
“Don’t be a wuss.”
I turn to face him, daring him with my eyes to come to me. “Come make new memories under the moon with me, Mase!”
He eventually wades in, grabbing me the second he can reach me and tugging me to him. I search his eyes, needing to know he’s okay. His nose rubs with mine as our foreheads touch.
I get the sense that tonight will be a night I’ll never forget. A night that I look back on with the fondest memories, knowing without a doubt that they are as special in my memory as they were when we lived them.
“The sun’s gonna shine again, Bossman. I promise.”
“It’s freezing!” My teeth chatter as Mason crosses the path back to the house, with me held tight on his back.
“I did tell you.” He chuckles. “You shouldn’t have gone in.”
The sun is just coming up, and as we pass his parents garden his grip tightens on my legs. I want to tell him to go in, but I know he won’t, or he will and will resent me for pushing him into it. I tell myself that if he wanted to go in, he would. And he will, one day.
“I need a hot shower and sleep. God, I need so much sleep!” I moan against his bare neck as he climbs the steps to the house. He smells delicious; he smells like home.
“Shower, sex, sleep,” he lists off.
“How about sex in the shower by yourself while I sleep.”
He drops me, chuckling. “Shower sex by ourselves is never happening again.”
His words ground me to a halt, my feet rooting to the terrace. What happens from here? He called me Pixie, but he didn’t say he loved me before.
He doesn’t trust me.
What now, my beautiful Pixie?
“It’s not?”
“No. If you want to be fucked,” He inches closer, circling my nipple through the wet shirt, “you come to—”
“Oh, I’m sorry, we were just heading out for a walk.”
Mason clears his throat as Vinny appears on the terrace with a bright-eyed Ellis in his hold.
“Da Da Da Da.” He claps.
“Good morning, Ellis baby.” I look at Mason with a smile as I lean in and kiss his head.
Vinny looks at my soiled shirt and jacket—which Mason insisted I wore—then to Mason, a small smirk on his face. “I’ll take Ellis around the grounds then come find you.” He nods his head, chattering to Ellis as he walks away.
I turn back to Mason. “If I wanna be fucked I what, Mase?” I grin wide, trying to contain my laughter.
“You’re gonna get it, Pix.”
I laugh, running through the house and back up to our room.
It’s late afternoon when we are finally packed up and ready to go home. Lucy has a lift with Miller and me and Megan jump in with Elliot and Charlie.
Mason, to my surprise, is staying for the afternoon with Ellis and Scarlet.
They both asked me to stay, but I know that they need some time together and with me around, Mason can get a little distracted.
“Who wants to go to a pub?” Elliot asks. “I haven’t been pub drunk in months.”
Elliot is in an annoyingly good mood today, and Megan being the extrovert of the group, clings to his every word.
“Yes! Hair of the dog is exactly what I need right now.”
Elliot smiles. “Charles?”
“You want to go out?” Charlie asks.
“It’s been a while, Lance will be game.”
“Where is Lance?” I frown, only now realising I didn’t see him at breakfast.
“He left late last night, got in a huff about some shit and called a cab,” Megan tells me.
“I will if Lance and Lowell do,” Charlie says on a shrug.
“Mason has Ellis until tonight, but he can drop him back early and you guys can go out, I need to check on Joey.” I wouldn’t go out even if I wanted to. My stomach twists just thinking about him.
“Have you heard anything yet?” Megan asks.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Lowell won’t sack off Ellis time,” Elliot says.
And it’s true, Mason wouldn’t miss another minute of his weekend with his son.
“Come on, Aldridge, I need you to wingman me. I was shit out of luck last night after I bid on Luce.”
Me and Megan look at each other and raise our brows in unison.
“What was that all about?” Megan asks.
Elliot sits forward in his seat, lifting his seat belt and smoothing it over his shoulder. “I wasn’t having it.”
“You wasn’t having what?” I ask.
He eyes me in the mirror as if it’s obvious. “Vinny?”
“I’d totally jump Vinny.” Megan laughs.
“Ewww, Megs!” I push her into the door.
“I’m kidding, he’s like a dad to us.”
“Exactly,” Elliot says. “I wasn’t having it be a joke on her.” His face hardens. “That prick she’s with needs some sense knocked into him.”
Me and Megan look at each other at the same time again, then break out into giggles.
“I get it, Ell,” Charlie tells him.
“You shouldn’t laugh, Nina. Have you thought about the shit show that will go down when Hemmings comes for his date?”
Cooper. Fuck! I forgot about the auction.
“Surely he won’t ask for a date? I think Mason made it perfectly clear she wasn’t for sale.”
“You haven’t met Hemmings,” Elliot tells Megan.
Charlie twists in his seat so he can see me. “Mase won’t have you go anywhere without him, Nina. And I agree with Megan, he’d have to be looking for a death wish to come asking for anything from you.”
“You wanna bet on that?”
I roll my eyes as Charlie smiles over at Elliot, lifting his chin in challenge. “How much?”
“Fifty. It’ll round up the pot for what you owe me from last night.”
“Done. There’s no way he’d be so fucking stupid.”
“We shall see my friend.”
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bet on my odds, thank you very much!” I feign annoyance.
“Not you, little Pixie. Just dickhead Hemmings. You going to come for a drink or are we dropping you home?” he asks.
“Drop me home please, Ell.”
I feel exhausted as I lug my overnight bag out the back of Elliot’s car. I fell asleep on the ride home and now all I want to do is climb into my bed. Mason will have Ellis until a little later and I feel for him, he’ll be just as tired as I am.
I go to my apartment to drop my bags off then shower and change, then I make my way to Joey’s, hoping he is home.
Before I knock, I try the door but it’s locked, which isn’t out of the blue for Joey. Pulling out my keys, I unlock the door and enter his apartment.
I instantly know he’s home.
The smell of something smoky assaults my senses, and the darkness from the closed curtains make it hard to see into the room.
“Joey?”
He doesn’t answer me, and I huff as I step inside and turn on the light. Joey isn’t in the lounge and apart from his discarded hoodie, everything is how I left it on Thursday. Trickling water sounds from the bathroom, and I frown as I move in that direction, pushing open the slightly ajar door.
“Joey?!” I panic.
I run to him, pushing on his shoulder as his head snaps up out of the water.
“What the fuck, Nina!” His eyes are wide and red-rimmed, his body jolting up in the bathtub.
“You were fucking asleep, Joe!” My heart is erratic in my chest, my hands shaking. “Your face was all but under.”
“It wasn’t.”
“Yes, it was!” I snap. “Jesus! Do you know how dangerous it is! You could have…”
I cut myself off, feeling awful for what I was about to say. He just lost his brother.
“Say it,” he spits, rubbing at the end of his nose with his palm.
“I’m sorry.”
“Died,” he mutters. “I could have died.”
I roll my lips. “When did you get back?”
“Last night.” He looks up at me and then drops his eyes quickly. “Good night?”
My shoulders drop as the guilt sinks in. “Yeah, it was amazing.”
He nods his head, water dripping from his hair onto his chest.
“I know you’re hurting, and I can go, but—”
“I’d prefer it if you did.”
“Joey, don’t speak to me like that.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want you here.”
I stand wide-eyed, not knowing what the right thing to do is. Do I leave him?
“GET OUT!” he yells, making me jump. I turn and leave the bathroom quickly and pull the door shut behind me.
My eyes sting with tears as his words embed themselves, even though I know he doesn’t mean them. Joey is good at being alone, it’s the way it’s been for a long time for him.
I go to his kitchen and pour a glass of water.
I place the water on his dresser in his room and wait.
Twenty minutes later, he pushes open the door. He doesn’t enter the room, he just stands on the threshold with a towel wrapped around his hips.
“You okay?” I ask.
He chews on his bottom lip, his hands clenching twice before he steps into the room and over to his drawers. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he picks out some joggers, pulling them on under his towel.
Without a word, he leaves the room, coming back a few minutes later with his hoodie pulled over him.
“I told you to leave.” He walks to the small window and opens it.
“Joey—”
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“Are you okay?”
He sniggers then shakes his head. “No, Nina, I’m not okay. Is that alright with you?”
I step closer and place a hand on his back. “I will go. I’m sorry, I was only worried. You’ll call me if you need me?”
When he doesn’t say anything, I turn and walk towards his bedroom door.
“Nina,” he says, sounding agitated.
I stop. “Yeah?”
He walks to where I stand and palms my cheek, taking me by surprise. I try not to flinch, but I can’t help my reaction to his touch.
His eyes shine. “I’m sorry.”
The second his head dips, I pull away. “Joey, what are you doing?”
He stares through me for a moment before his eyes find focus on mine. “Kiss me. Just once.” He reaches for me again, this time grasping my neck. I turn my head to the side and his lips brush my cheek.
“Joey, stop!” I push on his chest and he stumbles back. “What are you thinking?!”
Tears fill my eyes and I stare at him, not understanding.
I turn and run from the apartment.