CHAPTER 2 ALEXIS
I’m standing on my spot as the light finds me, and I’m worried.
I’m more than worried.
I’m a wreck.
My stomach is in knots, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m about to sing for a large crowd gathered here in this amphitheater as we broadcast to live television.
None of that worries me in the least.
My dad is alone with Danny. We haven’t told him we’re married.
He’s not going to take the news well.
How can I give a good performance tonight when I have no idea what’s happening in that room?
He blames Danny for all of this when I haven’t had the chance to explain any of it…which I guess lies on myself since I’m the one who chose to run away.
He knew I didn’t want to marry Brooks, and he didn’t care. He wouldn’t have listened to any sort of explanation I had, so he pushed me into a corner. And when a person is backed into a corner, sometimes they act out of fear.
A small part of me wonders whether I married Danny out of fear. After all, we rushed it ahead a couple of days just to ensure if my father did find us, he couldn’t make me marry Brooks.
But a bigger part of me knows the truth. I married him because I fell in love with him. It was inevitable that we’d end up here, and the way it all went down was perfect for us.
It wasn’t the fanfare that my father wanted. It was small—tiny, really—and intimate. It was just for us. No helicopters flying overhead. No paparazzi waiting outside. It was last-minute, and the circle of people who knew was limited, which gave us exactly the wedding we wanted.
Will we celebrate sometime down the road with a huge party?
Maybe.
Is that what we need?
Definitely not.
I’m happy with how it all went down, and to be perfectly honest with myself, I’m glad my father wasn’t there. Clearly the institution of marriage means nothing to him if he had the gall to force me into wedded bliss with Brooks, so I think it’s better that the true marriage I want for myself began without him there.
But as soon as this performance is over, I know I’ll have questions for him, too.
I don’t want Brooks in the room when I ask the question that’s really on my mind. Why did you want me to marry Brooks so badly?
I’ll study him carefully to see whether he admits the truth or fabricates yet another lie.
Because at this point, it feels like a whole lot of lies piled on top of one another. And I can’t wait to get to the truth…and to tell him my truth, too.
I run through my scales and warm-ups, and the same assistant who led me out here brings me a cup of tea while I stand on my mark. I hand the empty cup back when I have thirty seconds left to go.
I draw in a deep breath. This is my first performance as a married woman, and I’m not sure why that pulses an excitement deep inside me.
The curtain opens, and I’m the first performer.
I hear my name, and the crowd erupts into applause as I smile and wave.
“O holy night,” I begin, and this isn’t a song to play around with. I dig deep, putting everything I have into the song, and it still feels like somehow it’s not enough.
Probably because I’m worried.
Is Danny still in that room with my father and Brooks? What are they saying to him? Are they brainwashing him to think or act a certain way?
He’s too strong. He won’t give in. We both know this is right.
But how can I perform here when I’m worried about what’s going on there?
I’m about to start the second verse when my eyes drift to the side of the stage, and there I see Danny watching me.
He’s mouthing the words along with me, and he’s watching me with…
Gratitude. Warmth. Adoration.
Love.
My chest seems to open up a little, and I dig even deeper to belt out the next verse.
Just making eye contact with him was enough to push me to go where I’ve never gone before as relief pulses through me.
He is everything to me.
If I had to give all this up just for another moment where my hand clutches his, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
If my father threatens my career, he can have it if it means I can have Danny.
If my father threatens to hold onto my masters, they’re his forever if I get another day with the man I love.
I don’t care about any of it because it’s all meaningless unless I have him.
I slide right into “Silent Night” next, and another singer, Ivy Wilson, joins me on stage for the second verse. For the third, country singer Mandy Davis joins in. The crowd gathered here erupts in huge applause at the end of the song, and we wave our thanks as the live program cuts to commercial.
I rush to the side of the stage. “I’m so glad you’re here. What did he say?”
He shakes his head. “This is about you right now. What can I get you?”
I stare at him for a beat.
That’s never been anybody’s answer to me.
I’m here singing. It’s my job. I put aside my personal stuff to perform the way I’m expected to perform.
Perhaps that’s the greatest acting job of all.
“God, I love you,” I murmur, and I press a kiss to his cheek that’s surely captured by somebody in the audience.
I hope it was. I hope people can see the love I have for this man.
If they don’t, they will soon since my next album is going to have him all over it.