Chapter 15
MIA
Silence is only awkward when the people occupying it are keeping secrets from each other.
I never had a best friend before I met Lettie Crane.
I don’t know how these relationships are supposed to work.
But one thing I know for sure is that we’ve spent the past few months avoiding meaningful conversation.
And it shows in the way she looks at me now—sad, disappointed, and hollow.
We quietly finish our tacos and order another round of drinks from Duff. I close my fist around the ribbon in my pocket. “I have so much to tell you.”
She nods as she slurps up the remnants of her watermelon margarita through a straw. “Same, girl. Same. Fuck. How did we get here?”
Her skin is still as flawless as ever, but there’s a dimness in her eyes. A melancholy that wasn’t there before. “You first. What’s going on, Lettie? You don’t seem like yourself.”
She chews on the end of the straw. “I never told anyone the real reason why I transferred from Hemlock Prep to Tenebrose Academy. When my parents asked, I said it was because they had a better literature department. My mother was upset because Raven’s Gate is so much farther than Hemlock.
But my father was happy. Tenebrose is more expensive and prestigious. ”
“I was in Raven’s Gate for a while. All I have are horrible memories of it.
Sorry.” It’s a time I don’t even really like to think about anymore.
The stint I did in Absentia Asylum still gives me the creeps.
Nox kept me asleep through most of it, but I’ve heard stories of what the orderlies do to the patients there.
She shrugs, her eyes lighting up when Duff sets two fresh drinks in front of us. “Compared to what I was dealing with, Raven’s Gate was a walk in the park. I had to get away from them… From her.”
“Who?” I can’t contain my excitement. Lettie is one of the warmest people I’ve ever met, but she’s far from an open book. There’s so much I don’t know about her.
“Skyler. My ex.” She takes a big gulp of her frosty pink drink. “Well, all of my exes actually. Sky, Berlin, and Aeloria. We were more than toxic. We were… dangerous. Things got out of hand. Everyone became afraid of us. They called us the poison girls.
I lean forward, whispering, “Like a secret society?”
She deadpans me. “Like a coven.”
I sit back, confused. “You’re a witch?”
She shakes her head. “Not exactly. We just made things happen. Bad things. And I got sick of it. So I left. But now Sky is in town, and she’s trying to guilt me into transferring back to Hemlock.”
I did not have any of this on my bingo card for this year, but I’m here for it. And I’m relieved to know that I’m not the only one in this town with a dark past. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Part of me does feel guilty for leaving them. But I don’t want to get sucked back into their toxicity again. She always promises to change and do better, but it’s a lie.” Lettie slumps back against the cracked leather booth in defeat.
I smear the last little wedge of my street taco into a big dollop of sour cream before popping it into my mouth. I wash it down with a big swig of pineapple margarita. “Do you still love her? I mean, them?”
She fidgets with her straw while she ponders my question. “With Berlin, it’s more lust than anything. We can’t keep our hands off each other. But love isn’t something I let myself think about with her.”
I snort-laugh into my drink. “I can relate. Sometimes I think that’s how I feel about Aries.”
“And I adore Aels, Aeloria,” she continues. “She’s a pushover for those two, but I still have a lot of love for her.”
“And Sky?” I watch as Lettie’s eyes darken when I say that name.
“Sky was my first everything, including heartbreak. But I think I’ll always love her even though she rips my heart out and stomps on it over and over again.” She downs the rest of her drink and winces. “Fuck. Brain freeze.”
We both burst out laughing and summon Duff over so we can order a third round. My head is starting to feel fuzzy, and I’m not mad about it. It feels like it’s been months since I’ve been able to chill out like this.
The bald bar owner side-eyes me. “Maybe slow it down a little, ladies. I don’t want your crazy boyfriends and your psycho brother coming in here and blaming me if they have to hold your hair back later.”
Lettie rolls her eyes at him. “We’re grown women, Duff. We don’t need their permission or yours.”
I nod in agreement. “Trust me, we can be far scarier than they can, so just keep the margaritas coming.”
He shakes his head and mumbles something under his breath before stalking off. Lettie and I erupt into laughter again. We shouldn’t toy with the poor guy, but if he actually did cut us off, we would both be way too embarrassed to tell the guys.
“Okay, chica, your turn. What’s keeping you up at night? Other than my brother and his friends, of course. Although, please spare me the details when it comes to Bones.” She feigns disgust, but her eyes paint a more playful picture.
I spend the next hour telling her everything from the moment the Skelker started speaking in my head to the tour Draven took me on in the woods.
I tell her about the poison and the night Bones found me catatonic in his loft.
Everything. This next part is scary to say out loud. But I have to tell someone.
“I enjoy what he does to me, Lettie. I get off on it. How fucked up does that make me?” I feel my cheeks heat under her wide-eyed stare.
“Um… like… you are attracted to this Skelker thing?” she asks in a hushed tone.
I nod and pull my jacket over my lap like it’s a blanket.
“I feel connected to him. When he’s in my head, I can feel him the same way I used to feel Nox in my nightmares.
The Skelker touches me in a way I can’t explain.
But I hate myself for it. So I’ve been trying to drown him out. I don’t want to be like this, Lettie.”
Her eyes water. “I get it. I mean, that’s how Sky makes me feel. Like I shouldn’t want her, but I do. Fucking hell, Mia. You need to tell the guys how you feel. They will understand. But more secrets will drive you farther apart. Especially this one.”
I clench my fists, annoyed with myself. “It’s not that I want the Skelker.
It’s more like a drug. I crave his touch.
Like, my mind isn’t my own. I think the devil has me under some kind of trance or something.
” I get goosebumps just thinking about the last time the Skelker made me cum. It shattered me.
“Well, Draven is right then. You need to draw him out into the open. Get him out of your head. Then you can see for sure if what you feel is real or just an illusion meant to trap you.” Lettie swaps her empty glass for a fourth margarita from an overly cautious Duff.
She practically has to rip it out of his iron grip.
“I’m scared to find out. What if it’s not a trick? What if I really am the devil’s whore?” Duff is a little more forthcoming with my drink. I suppose he fears Bones the most and figures he’s going to be way more protective of his little sister than his girlfriend.
She almost chokes on hers, spitting some back up into her glass. “Mia, you are not a whore. I hate that word anyway. It suggests something negative or shameful about wanting to fuck whomever you please. And there isn’t.”
I’m not gonna lie, that word does turn me on at certain times. But she’s right. I am feeling ashamed of how the Skelker makes me feel when I shouldn’t. Because he’s doing this to me against my will. I don’t have a choice when he comes for me. But can anyone blame me when I submit?
Sssssss… submit.
I jolt and knock my drink over. Pineapple slush spills across the table. Lettie shrieks and grabs a wad of napkins as the stream heads straight for the edge closest to her, aiming for her lap.
“Fuck. Sorry, Lettie.” I throw my stack of napkins down as well, frantically trying to mop up my mess.
Whore. Yes, you like being called that.
A stabbing pain pierces the back of my skull. I mewl through it, taking slow deliberate breaths until it subsides.
Lettie rests her hand on mine. “Mia? Is he in your head right now?”
I nod. “It comes out of nowhere. And then it’s all I can do to get him to shut the fuck up.” I say the last part a little too loudly.
Duff stomps over. “What did I tell you?”
I glare up at him. “Seriously? I’m not that drunk, Duff. Can you please bring me another stack of napkins and four shots of tequila? I’ll tip you double.”
Lettie slips him a hundred-dollar bill. “For the mess. We’re having a rough night, Duff. Please,” she pleads.
He lets out another disgruntled sigh, but caves. “I should’ve left this town years ago. Fuck. I’ll be right back with tomorrow’s hangovers.”
Tomorrow is tomorrow’s problem.
Right now, I have to drown out the noise. I need to numb myself. Unfortunately, tequila doesn’t work as well as the poison does. “You wouldn’t happen to have any nightshade or baneberry on you by chance?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t touch the stuff anymore.” Her gaze flicks to the door. “Fuck. And that’s the reason why.” She slumps back against the booth and folds her arms over her chest. Her eyes harden on the gorgeous blonde girl strutting through the bar.
“Is that Sky?” I ask, knowing it must be.
“In the flesh,” Lettie grumbles. “She must’ve seen my car outside. She won’t leave until I go talk to her. She’s relentless like that.”
Duff careens back over with our tequila shots. I take two and hand the other two to Lettie. “Bottoms up, then. Liquid courage and all that shit.” We clank our glasses together in salute.
I lick a sprinkle of salt off my hand, down both shots, then pucker my lips around a wedge of lime and suck. My lips pucker as the tangy citrus shrivels the lining of my cheeks.
Lettie doesn’t flinch once while drinking hers. “Want me to call you a car service? I’m going to leave mine here and hitch a ride home later. I need to find out what Sky wants first.”