Chapter 25
Willow
It was surreal, riding in the van without a bag on her head or a knife pressed against her back. The memory of that fear and uncertainty only fueled the feelings overwhelming her. She couldn’t get out of the heightened alertness. Every little thing was setting her off.
Finding out Stahma was fine—well, more than fine—had given her a little bit of relief, but not enough.
She’d managed to send a quick text to Landon.
As predicted, he’d been worried and trying to find some trace of what happened.
He didn’t believe it was her at first when she sent the message until she referenced a joke from one of their last games.
Willow hadn’t told him exactly what happened; that could wait for a voice chat, but he deserved to know she wasn’t dead or arrested.
He was the only one around to care now, even if they’d never met in person.
Her eyes found her captors. Though they weren’t quite captors anymore.
A frustrated noise bubbled up inside her throat that she quickly suppressed. She liked both of them, and it was fucking impossible. No guys would ever agree to share. Especially not ones like them—they’ve killed people for fuck’s sake.
They don’t want to, though.
The little voice kept creeping in. The one that tried to convince her it was all okay. They wouldn’t hurt her. Ryker hadn’t even truly lashed out about her fooling around with Ezra. After the initial surprise, it was more like he’d enjoyed knowing.
No. I know better.
That first year with Billy, she never suspected a thing. Life was perfect. He had a good job, her dad was thrilled she was dating his business partner’s son—they were living the dream.
Yeah. A dream. That’s what it was. A dream that turned into a nightmare. Looking back, she could see it all clear as day, and it was hard to believe she had been able to be lulled into his trap.
“Why are you wearing that? You look like a guy.”
It had been a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants. But that had been unacceptable in their apartment. She needed to look a certain way at all times.
“No. Tattoos are for dumb whores.”
Her piercings would have given him a fucking heart attack.
Billy didn’t hit her for the first time until two years in. It had been a small shove into the edge of the counter that he tried to play off as a joke. He would bring it up afterwards to laugh about it. Like it wasn’t a big deal. When she wouldn’t laugh with him, he said she needed to lighten up.
It only got worse.
“Willow,” a voice called out. It was deep and tender.
She turned to face the location of the sound. “Yeah?”
It was Ezra. “What’s going on, sweetheart?”
She readjusted in her seat and stared out the window. “Nothing.”
He was still looking at her. And now Ryker was taking peeks as he drove the winding gravel road.
“I’m fine,” she said more forcefully.
“You don’t look fi—”
“I said I’m fine,” she snapped. “Just watch the road.” That was enough of the prying. She was done with their questions.
Ezra raised his hands in surrender and exchanged a look with his friend.
She tried to ground herself back in the moment, focusing on what was happening in the here and now.
It was so fucking hard when she could feel the spiral—the agonizing pull whenever she allowed the memories space in her mind.
It took forever in therapy to learn how to recognize it.
In the moment, it feels like your brain is on fire and you have to rush to smother it before it spreads.
Maybe I’m not ready to be with anyone yet.
As long as everything stayed calm, it would be okay.
The van hit a large bump, and they swerved off to the right, just barely stopping before driving straight into a thick oak tree.
“Fuck!” Ryker shouted, his hands gripped tightly around the steering wheel.
“What the hell! What did you do to my van?” Ezra shot out of the vehicle, searching for evidence of damage.
Willow stayed put. There was nothing she could do in a situation like this.
Ryker rolled out of the driver’s seat and slammed his door before rounding the van to confront Ezra. “I didn’t do shit! There was something in the road.”
“Yeah? Well maybe you should have been paying attention instead of staring at Willow.”
Ryker’s brows flew up. “The fuck are you saying?”
And there it was, the fight she had been dreading. The one she had been expecting at this point. Her heart rate kicked up again; the previous efforts to calm down had been squashed. There was no escaping. They were going to be the same. She was going to end up broken again.
Her hands trembled as she grabbed onto the door handle. They were still yelling and had now moved within each other’s faces.
No, no, no, no, no.
Stop. Stop. She wanted the yelling to stop.
Hands cut off her air, and she tried to push him away. “Hold still, Willow.” The grip only grew tighter.
She couldn’t breathe. She needed to move.
The keys were still in the ignition, but he’d switched it off.
It was right there. All she had to do was dive between the seats and hop in the driver’s seat. The sliding door was still open, but it didn’t matter. It might shut on its own once she got moving.
Their argument was still going, but it was still just shouts. They hadn’t taken any swings. Billy would have hit someone by now.
She rushed for the seat, heart pounding against her rib cage. This was the best chance she had to get away. Her shaky fingers gripped the key and twisted it in the ignition.
It turned, but didn’t start right away. The sound was enough to cut off the guys’ argument.
“Willow!” Ezra shouted as he leaped in through the open door.
He made a grab for her hand, but she wrenched it away and swatted at him. “No!” she gritted out through her teeth. Ryker darted toward the driver’s side door, but she couldn’t let them trap her between them.
Willow shoved it open, narrowly escaping Ezra’s attempt to grab her coat.
“Willow! What are you doing?” Ryker’s voice was distressed as he aimed to block her.
She faked to the side then bolted past him into the trees. They were big guys. It might be harder for them to chase her through dense brush. They would catch her immediately if she stuck to the road.
“Ry! Fuckin’ get her!” Their steps crashed behind her, sticks snapping and leaves crunching. She couldn’t even think of the cold. Her entire body was in flight mode.
Escape. Run. Run. Run.
“Come on!” Ryker’s voice came from behind her. “Where do you think you can go?”
She didn’t care.
The ground got more uneven as she kept running and the terrain was starting to go up. Shit, she couldn’t run uphill from them for long. Her muscles were already screaming and her lungs burning.
She glanced back and found Ezra caught in a couple of bushes so she headed that way to catch him off guard.
Sure enough, he almost fell backwards once he realized she was running back.
“Damn it!” He broke free of the bush. “She’s going back!”
That was the smartest thing—get them stuck and go back to the van. She couldn’t run through the forest forever.
There was no sign of either of them after a few moments, and she could feel her muscles begin to give. This place really was beautiful. The trees were budding, and the ground had that deep, earthy scent of petrichor.
Up ahead, there was a gap in the trees. She could get some good distance if she made it through that space.
She made it to the clearing, and just as she was trying to figure out if she was going the right direction, a heavy figure slammed into her. Arms encircled her body as they spun and landed on the ground. If he hadn’t cushioned her fall, the air would have been knocked right out of her.
As she tried to roll out of his grip, she got a glimpse of blond hair.
Ryker.