Epilogue
Three Days Later
The sun was almost warm as we rode through the wrought iron gates of Rosehill Cemetery. The weather was perfect, the kind that made you want to pack up your winter gear and dust off the picnic basket.
Certainly not the kind of weather that should happen during a funeral.
Seated behind Romeo on his Harley, I glanced back at the long, single-file line of bikes ridden by the Gravediggers as we snaked our way through the cemetery. Everyone wore black, along with the jackets and cuts that bore the Gravedigger patch, and all of it connected everyone there as one single unit. I had discovered that this was how the Gravediggers viewed themselves—as one single entity made up of strong-minded individuals. At first I had a hard time understanding such a thing, but then I realized that this was basically what an army was. Or a family.
Both terms fit when it came to the Gravediggers.
The roar of motorcycle engines drowned out every other sound in the world as we parked, but I still had the impression that all was solemnly silent as Gravediggers came to say their final goodbyes. Rows of parked bikes already lined the road, and my eyes automatically went to the hearse up ahead, along with a limousine and a few people who had come to the funeral in cars. A black Humvee stuck out like a sore thumb, and as I dismounted from Romeo’s bike, I watched Ginger, Mabel and Misty pile out, all dressed in black, all looking amazing.
As soon as I could, I would find my way over to them and get the latest on Ashtray, who had been in intensive care last I heard. He’d lost a kidney thanks to the bullet Marvel had put in his back. He’d also suffered some paralysis below the hips, though the doctors believed that had to do with swelling rather than a permanent injury to his spinal cord. My own brother informed me that the in-the-back shot that he’d received—also from Marvel—had made him pee blood for the first twenty-four hours, but the doctors had assured him that the internal bruising would heal over time. The heavy body armor had stopped the bullet from penetrating his body, but the projectile had still slammed him hard enough to knock the breath from him so completely he’d blacked out for a few seconds.
If anything, that initial stunned stillness had probably saved his life.
Zee and Ana-Sofia nodded to us as we headed toward a canopied gravesite already ringed by mourners. There was only a single row of chairs, and I could just make out Tyr seated with an older couple and two younger boys that looked like Arthur, all wearing similar expressions of devastation. My heart twisted at the palpable grief blanketing what had to be Arthur’s family, and automatically I reached for Romeo’s hand for comfort.
“Do they know?” I kept my voice low as we slowly walked along with the flow of mourners. “That their son’s killer… Do they know everything?”
Romeo’s hand contracted gently on mine. “I like how you asked that, Shy girl. Very careful, very gentle.”
“It’s club business. I understand club business isn’t to be talked about, especially in public. I just want to know if Arthur’s parents… I just hope they can be at peace.”
“What I can tell you is that they understand everything, from what happened to their son to who set him up. Arthur’s father is quite a guy—former military, and a fierce family man worthy of respect. When he announced he personally wanted to see justice done for his son, Tyr was with him every step of the way to make sure he had that satisfaction.”
Marvel had been my nightmare, but Slash had been the one behind Arthur’s death. I hadn’t witnessed what happened to Slash once Romeo had gotten me out of there and into the Barracks to treat my frozen feet and the graze in my side, but now I knew beyond all doubt. Slash was dead, and Tyr had given that one last, terrible gift—the Biblical gift of an eye for an eye—to Arthur’s grieving father.
I couldn’t hold it against the poor man, or any parent put in that position. Arthur’s family now knew the peace that I had discovered with the death of Marvel. For the first time in four long years, I was at last able to sleep deeply through the night. And when I awoke, it was with no shadow of worry hanging over me, because my personal monster was dead.
It was a peace so blissful it was almost indescribable.
“What about the others?” My gaze slid over the sea of faces that had turned out for Arthur’s funeral. Some I recognized, but most were still strangers to me. “My brother was able to spot Slash as one of Hades’s men, but have you questioned him about anyone else? Ashtray mentioned there might be a couple more, but then he got rather rudely interrupted by a coward’s bullet to the back.”
“Your brother’s been a fountain of information on a lot of fronts, including picking out faces he’d seen while he was under Hades’s thumb. He’s spotted three from photo lineups, and each one of them has checked out. I’m just pissed off I didn’t think to show him pics of the Original Four.”
“The Original Four?”
“Me, Tyr, Ajax, and most importantly, Slash. The original four who left Hades’s club to create our own Gravediggers chapter. I suspected one of the officers of being a spy, but I never dreamed it would be anyone that close to the top.”
That mistake would haunt him for a long time, I could tell from his tone.
Once he’d brought me back to the Barracks, Romeo shared that his internal alarm bells had gone off when Slash mentioned Marvel’s drooling. That personal comment had bothered Romeo so much he’d gone back and reviewed all the pics of Marvel leaving the hospital. That was when he found the photographic evidence of it—evidence that no one had either seen or noticed, so Slash couldn’t have known about it.
Romeo had then checked the security cameras during the grocery delivery. He’d watched Slash take the bags of chicken from the delivery truck to throw them in the trash, before he sat in wait for me to come out. When Arthur appeared instead, Romeo traced Slash and Arthur’s progress via the security cameras to the side gate, where Romeo had placed a high-def camera across the street to make that particular gate appear to be a soft target. Only he and Tyr knew about that off-property cam, so Slash had been right out in the open when he’d lured Arthur outside the compound before shoving him into Ghoul’s waiting pickup.
Once Romeo knew the spy was Slash, he and Tyr decided to close in on the traitor, but apparently Slash had decided to make himself scarce. He’d disappeared soon after I’d last seen him, and Romeo suspected Slash may have realized he’d given himself away with that drooling comment. He hadn’t even shown up for church, but he had managed to waltz in through the proverbial front door to try to scoop up Josh during the party—his final middle-finger to Tyr and the Gravediggers.
From that point on I knew the rest of the story, or at least the bare bones of it. Both Slash and Marvel had been delivered to Hades in much the same way that Arthur had been returned to the Gravediggers. But Marvel wasn’t just anyone. He had been Hades’s only son, so everyone knew there was going to be hell to pay at some point down the road.
But with Hades, that had always been the case, because he was a monster in human skin. Monsters always did what they were born to do, no matter the circumstances. I’d learned through hard experience that it was better to live fully every single day with the people I loved, let tomorrow take care of itself, and never let the monsters of the world steal my joy.
“What’s going to happen to my brother now?” I pitched my voice even lower, as we were now coming up on more people. “Are the Gravediggers… I don’t know… going to keep him?”
“He’s not a slave, and we’re not Hades. Josh can do what he wants.”
I shot him a swift glance. “Josh? Not Chef?”
He lifted a shoulder. “It was a name Hades branded him with. Your brother wants to be called Josh, so… Josh.”
And yet another chain Hades had put around my brother fell away in my mind, and I couldn’t help but smile. “So he’s not going to be forced to cook for the Gravediggers?”
“Cooking, if anything like that happens at all, would be club business, babe,” he admonished gently, giving my fingers a squeeze. “All I can say is that as far as we’re concerned, we can’t force Josh to do a damn thing. He helped us in cleaning house in exchange for us getting him out of Hades’s clutches. We’re even.”
“But I thought no one ever left the club.”
“He never belonged to our club. I honestly don’t think he’d be loyal to the Gravediggers, because let’s face it—Josh never really wanted this life. He’s on his own now, though if he’s smart he’ll either join us for the sake of safety in numbers, or he’ll get the hell out of Chicago, change his name and do all he can to become the invisible man. Until Hades joins his son in the hereafter, Josh and everyone else involved with Marvel’s death needs to be on high alert.”
“Including you.”
“This is the life of a Gravedigger, baby. Most days are good—better than good, really. But the bad days are the worst, because they usually mean war. We’re now in it, and it’s not something you’ve ever experienced.”
I took a slow breath to calm my racing heart. “If you’re telling me this to freak me out, it’s working.”
“I’m not telling you this to freak you out. I’m doing my best to prepare you for any shit that might come down the pike. I’ll do my damnedest to shield you from it, because I don’t want you to think I’m a bad bet, or wish you’d never met me.”
The mere thought was so shocking I gasped out loud. “I would never do that.”
“You never know what the future holds, so I want you to make me a promise right here and now—if you ever get to that point, tell me. I’ll pull up stakes that same day and move us across the continent, if that’s what it’ll take to make you feel secure in being my woman.”
For a second I was sure I hadn’t heard him right. “You’d leave the Gravediggers?”
“You’re my family now, so yeah,” he said, nodding. “You’re the one I have to take care of. My brothers can take care of themselves.”
Oh, this man loved me. Seriously, utterly loved me. I was so blessed. “I want my man to be happy and know where he belongs in the world. And he belongs with both me and his fellow Gravediggers. If I start to get stressed out, I’ll tell you about it and that’s a promise. But somewhere along the way I made a decision—I’m not going to let Hades run me out of my own life. Not again. Besides, nothing lasts forever, not even Hades. We can get through anything, even a war with that monster, as long as we’re together.”
The smile that bloomed on his face was a smile I was sure I’d remember for the rest of my life. “Then that’s how things will be, Shy,” he said just above a whisper, his head dipping to gently rest his forehead against mine. “The two of us against the world. But you’re wrong about how nothing lasts forever. The two of us, we’re forever.”
The vow in his tone startled a laugh out of me. “You sound pretty sure about that.”
“Damn right I am. The jacket’s one way of announcing that, but only people who are in the life know what it means. The civilians of the world have no clue you’re my woman, which means some guy might come along and think you’re up for grabs. You’re not, so I want to make it official in every way.”
I could feel my eyes widening until I was sure I looked goggle-eyed. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, this is the worst possible place to even talk about this, but I don’t give a damn. I nearly lost you a few days ago and I’m still not over it, so fuck it. I’m not going to wait for a more suitable time or place. Marry me, Shiloh.”
Oh, dear God, it was happening. In a graveyard, of all places. Then again, a graveyard was probably what one should expect from a Gravedigger. “Marry you?”
“Yeah. Today.”
“Today?”
“We’re at war, so let’s not put off what we can do today. Vegas is just a quick flight out. We both have the day off for the funeral. We can officially be Mr. and Mrs. Valentine by sundown.”
I searched his eyes, suddenly wishing for the ability to read minds. “I’ve never wanted anything more, Romeo. But I need to know that becoming a husband—my husband—is something you want as well. Not just for today, or because there’s a war coming. You need to want to be my husband because you love me, and you won’t regret being tied to me the next time some cute club girl catches your eye.”
“Shy.” Again he graced me with a smile that seemed to wrap the warmth of the sun around me. “I’m a man who’s not just been around the block a few times, I’ve been around the whole frigging world, sampling everything I could get my hands on. I’ve seen things I’ll never forget, and done things I’ll never talk about, but that’s okay, because that’s what living life is all about. Make no mistake, all that living’s made me a connoisseur of what is rare and beautiful in this world. Of all the things I’ve come across, and all the women I’ve met along the way, there isn’t anything or anyone more heart-stopping than you. You challenge me. You brighten my world. Just thinking about you makes me smile. When I’m with you, I know what peace is. I know where I belong, and it’s with you. You’re already my home, so now I want to make you my family. I love you, and I know you love me, because you looked me right in the eye and said you loved me just before you stabbed Marvel. You thought those words were going to be the last ones you’d ever say in life, and those last words were your final gift to me. I’ve never felt more terrified and blessed all at the same time, so now I need you to replace that memory with one that has no fear in it. Give me the one word that will bind us together forever. Say yes.”
“Yes.” The word whispered out before I could consciously give it a push, but that was okay. It was the only answer I had to give.
I rolled up to my toes and just managed to brush my mouth against his in a promise more profound than words, when the ever-present grumbling of motorcycles suddenly went up a hundred-fold. A large knot of bikes—completely out of the single-file formation that had been streaming in—roared up to the gravesite. Confusion set in as the ear-splitting revs were clearly deliberate and, to my mind, intensely disrespectful.
Then I saw the Chicago Gravediggers patch, Hades’s patch, and two thoughts hit at the same time. One, the in-your-face show of disrespect suddenly made sense, and two, a graveyard was an embarrassingly cliché place to die.
*
Romeo
Without a word, I picked up Shiloh with one arm, wheeled around and deposited her behind the nearest cover, a freaky-looking Dr. Who nightmare of a weeping angel set on a four-foot-high block of granite. My other hand was full of Sig Sauer, and as I thumbed the safety off I saw every Gravedigger brother arming themselves as well, all but guaranteeing the next few minutes were going to make the legendary Old West shootout at the O.K. Corral look like a minor disagreement.
“Keep your head down and stay hidden behind this block, you hear me?” As I spoke, I did a quick head count—one, two… twelve of Hades’s men in all, plus the old man himself. Well, well. A personal appearance. Too bad we didn’t have a red carpet to roll out for the evil prick. “Hades knows your face and who you’re related to. If he can’t vent his wrath on Josh, he’ll have no problem venting it on you.”
“Hades? Is he actually here in person?”
“I’m looking right at him.” God knew it was a face you didn’t soon forget. In his youth Hades had probably looked a lot like Tyr and his younger brother, Loki—square-jawed, carved cheekbones, thin lips. Age had taken those angles and crushed them into a solid block, reminding me of a bulldog or boxer-type dog, complete with a growing set of jowls and a complexion that was the epitome of the term “weathered.” Like all Colgrave men Hades was a giant, though age had hunched his back and shoulders since I’d last seen him half a decade ago. And like Tyr, Hades’s hair was on the longish side, ruler-straight and blonde. Or at least it had been, but even wearing his Prussian-style pickelhaube helmet with its distinctive spike on the top, I could still see that the thin ponytail straggling down the old man’s back was now more gray than blonde.
Looked like Father Time was catching up to the once-invincible Hades Colgrave. Too bad he wasn’t moving fast enough.
I watched as Hades rolled to a stop at the curb, no more than fifteen feet from where we’d taken cover. Out of the corner of my eye I watched Zee push his woman behind a tree and covered her with his body, while Hades heeled his hog’s kickstand in place and took off his helmet.
Nice. Perfect target for the two snipers put in place just for the occasion. Thanks, asshole.
“We don’t exist in a vacuum, Uncle H.” Tyr rose from his graveside seat. Arthur’s father also started to rise, red-faced and wild-eyed. But his wife and remaining sons all but tackled him back down, the wife making a high, wailing noise that told everyone who heard it that she couldn’t handle another loss in her family. “We’ve got LEO climbing all over us right now. Or maybe your sight’s not so good anymore and you didn’t notice the gauntlet all of us had to run just to get here?”
I almost smiled. Running the proverbial gauntlet was exactly what the police had set up for us. They hadn’t even tried to be subtle about it—a fleet of cruisers parked along the road, with what seemed like half of Chicago’s uniforms standing out on the street to watch us parade by. K-9 units were there as well, standing at the ready with their hungry-looking dogs on tight leashes while a helicopter circled overhead. There was even a SWAT team of tactically geared-up bravos swaggering around looking like they’d like nothing better than to shoot everyone on sight just for breathing.
No Gravedigger enjoyed society’s so-called rules on principle, and we liked the enforcers of those rules even less. But for the moment they could be used to keep the peace while we had our noncombatants—women and children—here in the open.
“LEO? Jesus fucking Christ, you little piece of shit.” Hades’s voice sounded remarkably like the chopper he straddled—deep, gravel-rough, and able to resonate for what seemed like miles. It was one of the things that had always helped him command attention; he sounded in charge, so it was easy to assume that in charge was what he was born to be. “Your old man must be spinning in his grave, listening to his oldest son cower behind fucking LEO.”
Tyr’s expression remained impassive, almost bored. No way was he stupid enough to rise to that bait. “The only spinning he might be doing is over how his mouth-breather of a brother ran his once-great motorcycle club into the ground. How does it feel, H, knowing my dad will always be the better leader, and you’ll always be the feeble, scheming pretender sitting on his throne?”
Rage rippled over Hades’s bulldog face, and I could see his jowls quiver from where I stood. “I’m sure it’s going to feel fucking blissful once I put you in the grave with him. I put him there myself, boy, so since you got my kid, I suppose we’re even.”
“Fuck,” I muttered, my gaze bouncing to Tyr, who’d gone statue-still.
“My old man bought it behind bars, H.” Tyr’s voice was neutral, perfectly calm. Anyone who knew him understood that was the only warning Tyr gave before becoming a self-sustaining mass-casualty event. “You trying to make yourself look all big and powerful when we both know you don’t have the juice to pull off an execution like that?”
“Oh, I pulled it off, sonny, because I own one of the guards on his block, thanks to his little girl’s amateur-hour sex tapes. Little Gigi would be kicked out of her Ivy League school faster than you can say three-way if her proclivities came to light, so her daddy made it so that your old man got wolf-packed in the laundry. I’ve wanted to tell you about it for so damn long, because it really was one of my finer moments. How does it feel, knowing he died by my hand?”
“Probably the same way you felt when you heard your son, your legacy, died by me and mine. Doesn’t make us even, though,” he added even as Hades’s blocky bulldog face twisted with hate. “Colgraves don’t believe in ‘even.’”
“No, we don’t,” Hades agreed, nodding. “The only thing we believe in is total annihilation.”
“You’d best get ready for that eventuality, then,” Tyr advised him, and smiled a smile that would have made the Devil himself back away. “See you down the road, Uncle.”
“No, you won’t,” came the grim reply. “You won’t even see me coming.” Then he seemed to do a little double-take before an evil smile curled his mouth. “Looking good, Ginny girl, just like your mama before she got all used up and dried out.”
Ginger’s sneer of disgust was a sight to behold. “Her looks and health got used up by you, you bastard, with all that shit you shot her up with. Is that what you have to do to keep a woman, H? Drug them up on heroin so much they’ll accept even you into their bed?”
Hades’s expression twisted viciously. “You’re a whore just like your mama.”
“Don’t talk to her. Don’t even look at her or say her name,” Tyr cut in, his expression turning almost demonic. “And take my advice—enjoy today, Uncle H. It’s the last peaceful day you’re going to have on this earth.”
“Right back atcha, sonny.” With a fierce rev, Hades unexpectedly shot forward, popped the curb and executed a half-donut in the sod to rooster-tail dirt and grass toward Tyr and Ajax, who stood a few feet away. Tyr didn’t flinch, while everyone else cried out and scrambled for cover. All he did was stand there, watching his uncle and his crew retreat.
I pulled Shiloh up from her crouched position, then looked to Tyr. “Baby—”
“Go. I know you need to get to work. I’m just going to go over to speak with Arthur’s parents, then I’ll stay with Mabel and the girls. I’ll be fine.”
God, I loved this woman.
“I want every run accompanied by two of your best enforcers,” Tyr announced the moment I reached him. “Also, troubleshoot every business dealing we currently have to see how it can possibly be attacked, and come up with ways we can shore up our defenses. Lastly, no one moves on their own, even during downtime. My uncle is a coward at heart. That means he’ll strike at soft targets, and when we least expect it.”
“There goes my overnight trip to Vegas,” I muttered, glaring after Hades. “Fucker’s stopping me from getting hitched to Shiloh, and that’s something I won’t forgive.”
“A wedding and a funeral all in one day?” Ajax said, deadpan. “You know they already made a movie about that, right?”
“Go,” Tyr said, surprising me. “No fucking way does my uncle get to take that from you, so go and do what you need to do. You have twenty-four hours. After that, I need you back here doing what you do best.”
Something loosened in my chest, and I realized it was relief. I was going to be able to make Shiloh mine for all time, after all. “You got it, brother.”
*
Four months later
Shiloh
“I’ve got a good feeling about this place. I mean, there’s got to be a lot of good mojo, living in a converted church, right?” Walking along the brick path leading to the back courtyard, I laced my fingers with Romeo’s. “And it backs up to Garfield Park, with the Conservatory right over there.” I waved my free hand at the magnificent botanical garden’s glass roof rising from a blanket of hawthorn trees separating the two properties. “I still can’t believe it’s ours. Thank you for finding us this awesome house, baby. Or should I say home?”
“Definitely home, and it helps when you’ve got the daughter of Chicago’s real estate royalty on speed dial. Ana-Sofia really came through for us.” He grinned as we entered a peaceful courtyard shaded by a massive elm rooted right in the center. It wasn’t a perfect scene; the tree needed to be trimmed, the flowerbeds weeded and replanted, and there was an older, white-haired worker shoring up the one area in the courtyard where the exterior brick wall was crumbling. According to the expert Romeo had brought in to look at it before we bought the property, the entire courtyard wall had been built later than the church itself, with inferior materials. Apparently the expert had taken a bit of mortar in his hand and crumbled it to dust right before Romeo’s eyes. I hadn’t been there to see it, but it didn’t surprise me that this was the first thing Romeo decided had to be fixed. “In fact, Zee told me that Ana-Sofia liked this area so much, they’ve put in an offer on that place just down the road. You know, the yellow house on the corner?”
“Really?” I let out a delighted laugh and looked to him in excitement. “We’re going to be neighbors with Ana-Sofia and Zee? Oh, I love this place so much more now.”
“I had a feeling you’d be happy about that.”
“Now we just have to make this place uniquely ours, like evening out pathways and building a ramp up to the front porch so Ashtray can get his wheelchair up into the house.” As time had moved on and Ashtray had recovered from taking Marvel’s cowardly bullet in the back, the spinal injury had proven to be more severe than the doctors had originally anticipated. All hope wasn’t lost, as the big guy had gained the ability to wiggle his toes, but there was still very little feeling below the hips. For the time being, his way of getting around was a king-sized wheelchair, and I wanted to be sure we accommodated his needs.
“Speaking of, I met up with Ashtray at the Clubhouse earlier today, and he asked when the housewarming party is.” Romeo lifted a brow my way, humor dancing in his eyes. “Are we throwing a housewarming party?”
“Um, I guess we are now.”
Romeo laughed.
“You know, if we’re not careful, we’re going to turn into a couple of cliché suburbanites, complete with inviting friends over for barbecues and borrowing Zee and Ana-Sofia’s hedge clippers while Zee borrows our lawn mower.”
“Nobody’s going to touch my lawn mower. I’m gonna get one of those bad-boy riding mowers and soup it up to match my bike.”
“A riding mower that looks like a chopper,” I drawled, shaking my head. “Only you would come up with something like that.”
“Yeah, and Zee will die of envy whenever he sees it.”
I laughed again before he guided me inside through the back. The cathedral ceiling in the main living room was filled with light thanks to the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the courtyard. The walls were yellow, but not the obnoxious kind, thankfully. The color reminded me of pale sunshine, just a shade away from white, and it complimented the glowing warmth of the original hardwood floors. Boxes were scattered here and there in the empty space, along with a mattress we’d hauled in the night before so we could spend our first night together in our new home. Our furniture would be arriving later in the day and chaos would most assuredly ensue. But for this moment, all was peaceful.
“Kind of wish we had our actual bed already installed upstairs.” I paused at the edge of the mattress in the middle of the floor, its rumpled surface spotlighted in sunshine. “Either that, or I wish we had blinds that we could pull on the windows. I’m doing all I can not to jump your bones right now.”
“That would definitely be awkward, considering who’s right outside that window.”
“I’ve been thinking about those automated blinds,” I went on, forcing myself away from the temptation of the mattress to close in on the windows. If I didn’t, I’d probably wind up tackling my insanely hot husband and make a lewd spectacle of us both. “We’re going to need some form of covering to keep out the heat of the day. I know it’s only May, but when August rolls around we’ll be thankful to have something that cuts down on the greenhouse… effect…”
By degrees I froze in place, shock warring with recognition as I stared at the white-haired worker outside.
No. It couldn’t be…
“You father’s been working on this house even before we officially closed on it.” Romeo came up from behind to wrap his arms around me. He was warm and strong, my Rock of Gibraltar and my safe port in a storm. Just having him touch me kept me from spiraling instantly out of control as I stared at my father working in the courtyard. “He was with the inspector every step of the way and got fifteen-grand knocked off the asking price due to the instability of the courtyard wall, along with a couple other things he found. Liam’s really been a godsend.”
Liam. Dear God, Romeo and my dad were on a first-name basis. “But… how? How did he even know we were looking at houses? Or that we’re together? Why did he involve himself? Why is he out there right now working on that wall?”
“Liam knew we were looking for a new place because I told him,” he said, his tone low and deliberately calm. “Right after we got married, I dropped in on your folks.”
Well, knock me over with a feather. “Why?”
“Remember how I took you up to meet my folks once we got back from Vegas?”
“Yes.” Meeting my new in-laws for the first time was hardly something I would forget.
“Well, since my parents knew they had a new daughter-in-law, I thought it was only fair to let your parents know they had a new son-in-law. I also thought they needed to know you and I had decided to start house-hunting for a place big enough and safe enough to start raising a family of our own.”
I couldn’t even imagine how that went over with them.
“Your mom cried a little, but your father was great,” he went on as if he’d read my mind. “Liam immediately sat me down and wanted to know what we were looking for—old construction versus new, yard upkeep and how much time and patience I’d have for that sort of thing. He had tons of questions—school districts, flood plains, crime rate maps, and a thousand other things. Ultimately I straight-up told him that if we found something we liked, I’d call him first before doing anything. He was happy to volunteer his expertise, and he”s never asked for anything in return, Shy. Not even for me to try to smooth things over between you and him. He just wants to help.”
“But why?”
“You’re his kid,” he chided me gently. “He made the worst possible mistake any parent could make by not backing you up when you were literally broken, bleeding, and at your lowest. Hell, it’s amazing you managed to live through it. He knows he fucked up so bad he can’t even try to make it up to you. I mean, that much is obvious. He’s been helping us out for the past couple weeks on this place, and he hasn’t even tried to approach you. Not once.”
That surprised me. “He’s been around here that long?”
Romeo nodded. “Seems to me Liam just wants to make your path in life smooth and easy, because you’ve had a hell of a time and deserve smooth and easy. But he’s also helping out because he’s your dad and he loves you. And that’s the bottom line right there,” he added, giving me a squeeze when I looked back into those beautiful, sea-colored eyes. “He fucked up, both as a father and as a man, and you have every right to hate him forever because of that. I just know he loves you, Shy. All he wants now is for you to have a happy, fulfilled life. He’s dedicated to doing whatever he can to make that happen, even if you choose to never speak to him again. He’s here because he loves you. I wouldn’t let him near you if I thought otherwise.”
“True.” The word whispered out of me, because that last statement echoed the absolute trust I had in him. Romeo loved me, I had no doubt about that. My man would fight every danger in the world in order to keep me safe.
Yet he’d let my dad in.
My brows drew together as I turned back to stare at my father, waiting for the rage and hurt to erupt like a volcano inside me. It never came. Yes, the memory of him yelling that I’d ruined my brother’s life by acting “like a whore” with Marvel was still there, a scar that would never fully fade. But for the first time, that old trauma didn’t blot out other memories of my father.
Wearing matching jerseys and cheering on the Bears during football season.
Learning my cheers along with me when I was in middle school.
Making his special chocolate chip pancakes every Saturday morning for Josh and me.
Carrying me home on his back after a marathon night of trick-or-treating.
He’d always tried to find a way to make things better.
Just like he was doing now.
How had I forgotten that?
I turned in my husband’s arms, gave him a quick kiss, then jetted into the kitchen. It was still awaiting the arrival of our pots and pans later on in the day, but it did have the appliances installed, and since we’d spent the night here last night we had a few things tucked away in the fridge. I grabbed a couple of cold sodas and headed back out, pausing just long enough by Romeo to give him another kiss.
“Thank you.” I loved how carefully he tried to read my expression, clearly looking for signs of stress or upset. “Thank you for knowing I needed this.”
“All kids need their parents, even when they’re all grown up,” came the shrugging reply. “Our kids are going to need to know what it is to forgive, because they’re going to have me as a dad and I’m far from perfect. I have every belief I’m going to screw up a lot—not because I don’t love them, but because I probably won’t know what the fuck I’m doing. If I can get you to forgive your old man, that gives me hope that I’ll be forgiven for whatever dad mistakes I’m destined to make.”
That put things in perspective like nothing else. Romeo and I were actively trying to start our family while knowing next to nothing about parenting. We were just two humans who had a lot of love to give and a lot of hope for the future.
My father was no different.
That thought had me smiling as I went out the back door and into the courtyard, though my nerves were jangling so hard my knees threatened to buckle. But if my father could bring himself this far and get this close to me without any expectations, I could find the strength to bridge this final gap.
I could do this.
I could forgive.
“This is a really big project to do all on your own.” I stopped about ten feet from him, marveling at the pure whiteness of his hair. That was new. “Does Mom know you’re doing this?”
My dad froze, as if trying to become a statue. Then he sent a careful side-eye my way, as if he expected me to throw something at him. “She knows I’m here. I might’ve been a little fuzzy on the details.”
“Romeo and I can help, you know. Though wouldn’t it be easier to just give up the ghost and knock the whole thing down?”
“Oh, I don’t think you want to do that. This courtyard can be made to be beautiful again. I mean, sure, it’s been through some things, and it might not even look like it’s salvageable. But with a little TLC, it’ll be as good as new. Better, even.”
Like us. We could be like this wall, with a little TLC. “Welp, you’re the expert on this. But I still want to help, even if it’s just to bring you some hydration.” I held out the can of soda, and smiled when he slowly closed the distance between us to take it. “And next time you come around, maybe you can bring Mom. I’ve got so many questions about how to set up a household for two—how to set up a budget, that kind of thing. And what on earth am I going to do with those windows?”
He paused in opening his soda to look back at the house. “What’s wrong with the windows? They’re amazing.”
“Dad, have you seen the size of them? Over the summer we’re going to be cooked under glass. Not to mention Romeo will have trouble watching the Cubbies if the TV is sitting in direct sunlight.”
“Now that’s a problem.” My dad chuckled, and all at once I was transported back to my childhood, when everything was good and right with the world. “Let me guess, he’s got one of those huge jobs that can split-screen, and be a camera, and all that crazy stuff?”
“Of course. If it’s not the latest technology, it’s not worth Romeo’s time. He says it’s because as Chief of Security for the Gravediggers, he has to have a working knowledge of all the latest tech. I say it’s because he likes big-boy toys, the cooler the better.”
“He seems like a good man,” Dad said, the humor fading from his eyes. I understood. There was a time in my life when the mere mention of the word Gravedigger was enough to turn my stomach. “Are you happy, kiddo?”
Kiddo. I hadn’t been called that in years. “Very happy, Dad. I had to fight to get to where I am now, and I had to face what Josh did so I could find a way to put it behind me. But I did it. With Romeo’s help, I’ve been able to move on and look to the future instead of being mired down in the past. I can’t tell you how good that feels.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” He fiddled with the can of soda, as if he didn’t know what to do with it. “We heard from Josh the other day. He didn’t say where he was, but he sounded great. Happy.”
“Good.” After Arthur’s funeral, Josh had decided to heed Romeo’s advice by leaving Chicago until Hades was taken care of one way or another. For both his safety and ours, I had no idea where he was, but both Romeo and I received texts every now and again to assure us that he was still alive and kicking. The tone of his texts matched what Dad had claimed—Josh seemed genuinely happy. The mistakes he’d made in the past, the mistakes that had wounded me and destroyed our family, had been more than paid for. Now all I wanted was for my family to come out of the darkness we’d been plunged into and remember what it was to walk in the light. Josh was trying to do that, and so was I, thanks to Romeo’s influence.
Now it was my father’s turn.
“Are you okay, Dad?” I searched his face, noting the deep frown lines that had gouged themselves into his brow and the solid downturn bracketing his mouth, as if he hadn’t smiled much in the years we’d been apart. “I mean… are you happy?”
“I’m happy to be here. I’m happy to see you, hear you. As you were going into the house with Romeo I heard you laugh, and by God, kiddo, it made my heart soar all the way to heaven. That my little girl can still laugh, and love, and look forward to the future is a miracle in strength. And you’ve needed to be strong, after what was done to you, and what I did to you—” A sob broke off his words and he quickly turned away, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. But shutting up now was exactly the wrong thing to do.
“Dad, it’s okay.” Impulsively I caught him in a hug and squeezed him tight. “It’s okay, you hear me? I’m okay. I love you, and I’m okay.”
He tried to say something, but the force of his sobs broke the words up into jagged pieces. We stood that way for a long time while he cried it out, and my own eyes stung at the sound of sheer pain coming out of him. This was my father, for God’s sake. The pillar of our family, and a man who had seemed indestructible at one point in my life. Nothing should have shattered him like this. Nothing. But that was the insidious taint that was Hades Colgrave. He had so much to answer for, including every heartbroken tear my father was made to shed.
The breeze whispered through the elm’s leaves overhead, and I let the sound soothe me as my father fought for calm and slowly…slowly… found it. And at last I was able to figure out what he was trying to tell me.
“I love you.”
My arms tightened all the more as tears streaked down my face. “I love you, too.”
“I never thought you’d want to hug me again.” His voice was the texture of sandpaper as he gently backed away to search my face. He sighed, releasing all the guarded nervousness that had been wrapped around him like a shroud, and suddenly he was just my dad again—older, more world-weary and battered, and so very human. But still, my dad. “Or talk to me. Or even look at me.”
“Not too long ago I went to a funeral for a kid just a couple years younger than me. He was my friend, and he should still be here because the world was a better place with him in it. His parents will never be able to hug him, or talk to him, or look at him again. When I look at it that way, I’m just mad at myself for wasting whatever time we’re destined to have left in this life. As of now, there’s only time left for love, laughter and family. At the end of the day, that’s really all that matters.”
“Family, huh?” Dad scrubbed a hand over his face before glancing back at the windows. “Does that include me and Mom?”
“Absolutely.”
“And hopefully some grandchildren at some point? I’m not getting any younger, you know, and I’ve got this great idea for turning the side yard into a little playground. I’m thinking a low-profile jungle gym, a climbing wall, maybe a playhouse and a covered sandbox—”
I hugged him again while my heart swelled so much it brought tears to my eyes. “I’ll see what I can do.”
*
Romeo
“Finally, a real bed.” Smoothing the comforter in place and plumping the pillows, Shiloh stood back, jammed her hands on her hips and reviewed her work. “There. Perfect.”
“It sure is. Too bad we’re about to fuck it all up.” Coming out of the bathroom, I tossed the day’s clothes into a brand-new hamper by the closet before reaching for my wife. Her scent, honeysuckle and soap, wrapped around me like a welcoming embrace, and with a sigh I buried my face in her hair. “Crazy day, yeah?”
Yeah.” Her arms tightened around my middle. “Tomorrow’s going to be even crazier. We just got the big pieces of furniture in place. Tomorrow I start opening boxes.”
“Scary stuff.” I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “But I was talking about you and your dad.”
“I know.” She melted against me with a sigh, and I closed my eyes to better savor the feel. I was a huge fan of everything about my woman, but when she melted against me like this, as if molding her shape against mine was her reason for being, I almost lost my damn mind in sheer bliss.
“So you’re okay with your dad being back in your life?” I had to make sure I hadn’t screwed things up.
“I’m better than okay, baby.”
“Good.” A weight I didn’t even know was there vanished from my chest, and suddenly I felt lighter than air. “I wasn’t sure everything would work out, but when I saw you hug your dad, I realized I never should’ve doubted you. That hug was my proof that I’d found the strongest, most loving woman in the whole world. Not everyone would be able to let someone back into their heart after being dealt such a bad blow, but you didn’t even hesitate. You just gave him the gift of your love, and it was a beautiful thing to see.” I brought my lips down to hers for a warm, cherishing moment. “I’m so proud of you, baby.”
“Really?” She smiled at me, and it was so brilliant with happiness it was a wonder she didn’t light up the whole house with it. “I’m proud of you, too.”
“For what?”
“For being smart enough to know what I needed, even when I had no clue. But today you gave me back my parents. I feel as though a missing piece of my personal life puzzle has been found, and now I’m complete.”
“Your life puzzle, huh?” I liked the sound of that.
“Yep, my life puzzle. The only missing piece now is the next gen.”
“My woman’s baby bonkers, but I’m not complaining.” I let my hands roam over her back down to her ass, pulling her against the inevitable hardening of my cock. “I’m all in on the creation process.”
“Mm, that makes two of us, but as of now that process is just practice until we can make the next baby.”
“The next…” It took me a couple of seconds. Then I backed away to look at her, my hands gripping her shoulders. “Are we pregnant?”
Her laugh was one I knew I’d never forget as long as I lived. “I left the pregnancy test strip on the bathroom sink for you to find. Didn’t you see it?”
“I was too busy thinking about how we were going to totally wreck the bed I could see you making.” I didn’t even glance back at the bathroom. When I looked into the eyes of the woman who’d changed every aspect of my life for the better, there was nothing else I wanted to look at. “Are we having a baby, Shy?”
The brilliance of her smile threatened to blind me, and I knew even before she spoke that it was now my turn to receive that all-important missing piece to my own life puzzle, the piece that would make me complete. “Yes.”