Chapter 2
CHAPTER
TWO
IVY
PRESENT
Twelve fucking months of therapy. Of being haunted by the memory of every way he’d pull me down and fuck me to sleep. Three hundred and ninety-three days of chasing the ghost of him only to wake with the same hollow burn spreading through my chest.
“Ash—“
He takes my hand and tugs me forward. “Aw, don’t look so shocked to see me, Venom.”
I stumble up the final steps, or he drags me up them, and clear my throat. Compose yourself, Ivanya.
His chest brushes my chin as he kisses the top of my head. “What’s the matter?”
Blue eyes search mine, that mouth I’ve obsessed over curling into a cruel smirk.
“What is happening?” There’s no point masking, since only my people are here.
He barely steps back, just enough for the celebrant…
I pause.
Wait… that’s not who we use for weddings.
The celebrant’s voice fills the room. I fix my gaze on the solid wall of his chest. If I look at my family, I’ll see their faces and lose it. If I look up into the eyes of the only man I’ve ever loved, I’ll come apart.
So I don’t. I think back to when I took this job, trying to find a crack, a flaw. But every job is flawed. The script never makes sense.
He braids his fingers with mine and my heart trips over itself. Damnit. I didn’t want—Using his forefinger and thumb, he directs my eyes up to his.
Words fail me. His thumb presses against my bottom lip, a gentle swipe that could be a threat or a promise.
“Do you, Asher Thane, take Ivanya Celeste Dubois as your wife?”
Blood drains from my face, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling.
He’s used my legal name. My real fucking name, which means…
My eyes land on the table in the corner, where the marriage licenses are. They’re fucking real.
Oh God. How are they real?
Focus.
I angle into him until his chest brushes my breasts. From the outside, we look like any other couple.
From here? Rage.
“You used my real fucking name?” I say around clenched teeth and a fake smile.
His fingers twist into the back of my hair, holding me in place. “Why not?”
I try to step back—nope, this is too close—but his grip tightens, snapping my attention back to him.
“What’s the matter, Venom?” his brows dip in mock concern. “Don’t wanna play with me anymore?”
His words fracture any chance I had of blocking him out.
“You were never a game to me, Ash.” Grief chokes my words as they leave.
I drag a breath in, finally tearing my eyes off him to look past his shoulder.
Luce stands near the front in a black dress, her hazel eyes fixed on me, mouth calm, hands locked so tight I see the strain from here.
Jord wears that easy grin pinned on for show, his shoulders sitting too high.
Leon doesn’t move at all, steady on the outside, one second from ripping this room apart.
“Do you?” The Celebrant’s voice pulls me back to the present.
Like I have a choice.
Asher’s eyes drop to the crushed flowers in my grip, petals and snapped stems scattered across the ground.
I’m missing something. This Asher isn’t the one I left a bullet in. I watched the bullet penetrate, watched him die, then let that regret kill me for a year.
His shadow devours me all at once.
I guess I’m going to have to play. “I do.”
Asher takes my hand, fingers closing around mine hard enough to pin me in place. The world narrows to the space between us, his jaw locked, and eyes cold. My stomach knots into itself. The man I knew is gone, replaced by a brutal stillness of hatred.
He slides the ring over my finger.
Gold catches the light, curving elegant around a ridiculously oversized diamond. Then I see what encases it, and the air leaves my lungs.
A bullet. I don’t have to guess where he got it.
Blue eyes sharpen on me, watching as my attention shifts between him and the ring.
His eyes drag over me a second longer, then he turns back to the celebrant. “Continue.”
I answer every vow, making promises I never intended to keep. Everything moves too fast before I’m signing the dotted line.
His hand locks around mine and my heart stutters when his fingers slide between mine. Because I’m stupid.
He drags me back down the aisle, tossing a dark smirk at Leon as we pass.
Luce widens her eyes at me. She steps forward, mouth open, but I shake my head. Not now. I’m fine. I won’t die.
A black car idles at the curb, and he reaches for the back door, gesturing for me to get inside.
Gathering the train of my dress, I slide into the dark enclosure, eyes never leaving Asher.
He slams the door in my face.
As soon as he’s beside me, the car pulls out onto the cobblestone road.
Every breath hurts more than the last.
What do you say to the man you thought you killed? Nothing. Nothing I say will ever be enough.
He ignores me, watching the town pass. From this angle, I see the new scar on his throat better. My fingers curl in my lap to stop myself from reaching over to touch it, from feeling the bump on my thigh.
Inch by inch, the handle of the blade slides into my hand, and I don’t wait.
I twist, elbow driving into his throat as my other hand flicks the blade open and I aim for his throat. Not to kill him, I won’t go through another year of regret, but to…
He catches my wrist mid-swing and the knife falls to the floor. With that grip, he pulls me in closer, licks his bottom lip, the corner twisting into a smirk. “You miss me that much, Venom?”
All smugness vanishes before he grabs a fistful of my hair, forces me down onto my back.
The weight of his body holds me in place, his knee slipping between my thighs and forcing them apart.
A knot twists behind my sternum, tugging in two directions at once. Having him on top of me doesn’t help. A year ago I traced that jaw with my tongue. Tonight, I just want to break it.
Before I do something real stupid like kiss him, I lift my chin. “Get off me.”
His head tilts, his lips grazing my cheek. “Wanna make me?”
I go to swing one last time, but he whacks me away. He’s fast, too fucking fast for a pretty rich boy that plays in the snow.
“Stop fucking around.” He bares his teeth, and it’s more feral animal than pretty boy with fame. “You killed me once. Twice isn’t necessary.”
Air floods my lungs as he lifts off me, grabs my waist, and shoves me against my chair. My head cracks the window, and his eyes snap to the spot. For a moment, all the anger drains from his face, but it’s gone as fast as it came.
I glare at him. “Speaking of, how are you alive when I did kill you?”
He turns forward, unbuttoning his cuffs. “Clearly, you didn’t.” His eyes slide to me. “I suggest you find a new line of work. You’re not very good at this one.”
Actually, I’m very fucking good. Just not when it’s you.
Seconds pass with neither of us wanting to break eye contact.
My heart slows.
I missed you.
“Are you going to tell me why I’m here?” I ask the first thing I can think of that won’t end with me in his lap, begging for forgiveness.
“That’ll make things far too easy for you.” His head tilts to the side. “Don’t you remember? I’d much rather you crawl.”
My mouth snaps shut and I turn away from him. No point pulling answers from him now. Not worth the risk of making a fool of myself. First, I need to process this, compartmentalize it, and then… and then what?
My finger drums against my thigh.
The car rolls to a stop at a traffic light.
My scalp prickles, and I scan the street. Convenience store, park, people everywhere.
Sweat slips between my breasts as I think over my options.
My phone is tucked away, but my only weapon lies at our feet. By the time this corset lets me bend to grab it, Asher will have me in a headlock.
Such a wholesome marriage already.
Maybe he’s distracted enough to miss it.
My eyes drift to him, and find him already focused on me.
Dark lashes fan over sharpened cheekbones, his features brutal against that perfect mouth.
And now I’m staring at his mouth.
“Go on.” He widens his legs and settles deeper into his chair. “Do it.”
“Do what?” I ask, feigning innocence. Only that never works with Asher. He reads between the lines and doesn’t care if he has to reach inside my chest and pull them out himself.
“Sinead!” he shouts, though his gaze never leaves mine. “Pull over.”
My pulse rattles through me, every second stretching into a lifetime.
He shifts his weight forward, resting it on his thighs.
“Well, go on then, Venom.” Sunlight catches the twitch of his lip. “Run.”
I could run. I want to. I’m definitely considering it…
His eyes darken. “I dare you.”
I sigh and lean back. There’s no point. He’d only chase me, or worse, allow me to think I’m free. There’s no running away from this, even if I was a runner. Which I’m not.
He nods at the driver through the rearview mirror, and the car once again pulls out onto the road.
“Are you going to answer any of my questions?” I’m stuck here. I may as well make it painful for him too.
He ignores me.
Perfect.
He flicks a wrist toward my vibrating phone, his other hand dragging down his face. “Might wanna get that. Your friends seem stressed.”
I scan every line of this man’s face like I carved them there myself.
I know him like I do the Codex. I loved him.
More than a human could love anyone, but I still shot him.
I still watched him bleed out on the floor out of the sake of orders.
I chose my loyalties in a split second, then s[ent a year regretting it.
I open the group chat.
Punk: I’m working on this. I have no idea what’s happened.
Has anyone heard from Nonna yet?
Jord: No, I think she’s on a job.
She was. I knew because she gave me this job midway through hers.
Anything, Punk?
Punk: There’s something I forgot to mention. When I began the process of clearing us out of databases connected to Parker, Asher, Camille, and his fuckass brother Atlas, I hit a bump.
Leon: Oh, she’s gonna love this...
What kind of bump?