Chapter 16 #2
She exits the room, looking Asher up and down once before turning to me. She’s just staring at me, and I give Asher a funny look before giving her my full attention. “Everything okay?”
She must remember herself because her shit-smelling grin is gone and a new one takes its place.
“Mm?” she hums, flipping her brown braid over her shoulder.
“Oh, yes. Riley is so great. Still so firm despite his…situation. He shows promise of a full recovery after I get my hands on him a little more.”
My eyes round at her words. What she’s saying and how it sounds are completely different, and I’m not entirely certain it’s unintentional.
Asher coughs. “Well, that sounded incredibly inappropriate, Peppa,”
“Pippa—“
He waves a hand. “Semantics. Either way, work on your bedside manner because everything you’ve said has an innuendo that borders on inappropriate language between a patient and therapist. Which is all Mr. Graves will ever be to you.”
Pippa’s face pales and she gulps, wringing her hands together. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, but no words come out.
“There will be security detail on Mr. Graves every moment that his partners are not with him. You may not see them, but rest assured they’ll see you and will report any inappropriate behavior. Not only to me, but to the McTavish brothers that you work for. Understood?”
She swallows before nodding. “Understood, sir. I—I meant no disrespect—“
“Yes, you did,” I interrupt, forcing her eyes to me.
“I get it. He’s beautiful to look at, and he’s so freaking sweet it’ll make your teeth ache.
But you don’t know him, and you have no damned clue what his situation is like or what he’s been through.
You need to respect his boundaries because it’s not just me you’ll have to worry about if you’re caught behaving inappropriately. ”
She looks to Asher like he’s going to help her and I shake my head.
“I’m tired, so I’m going back in to check on Riley.
” I turn toward the door, but stop long enough to tell Pippa, “I’m not going as far as to say you’re fired as his therapist, because he needs to get better, and I don’t want him here any longer than he has to be, but consider this strike one, Peppa. ”
I don’t even wait for her to respond before I turn and leave Asher to deal with her in the hallway and slip into Riley’s room.
First thing I see is that she’s managed to get him up in the chair next to his bed, and he’s got this foam tube that looks like a piece of a pool noodle in his hand that he’s squeezing every few seconds.
His dark eyes shine, but he gives me a lazy grin that makes my heart flutter when he looks at me. “There you are.”
“Here I am.” I do a mock curtsey that makes him smile wider. “How’d it go?”
His smile slips a little. “Not as well as I expected. I can move okay with my legs, but my hands are pretty fucked with the nerve damage.”
I sit on the edge of his bed next to him and try to push away the wave of guilt that threatens to wash over me. I watch him wince as his hands shake and tremble when he squeezes the tube between them again.
“Oh?” I choose not to address it when I see the frustration on his face.
I also choose to not bring up or ask about Pippa’s comments about his recovery and her actual behavior because Riley seems to have been completely oblivious to it.
I know where his heart is and it’s not with her, so my problem with her is not important right now.
“So what will therapy look like moving forward? Will you come home with me in a few days?”
At that, his face completely falls. “She said there may be some extensive nerve damage that could require a second surgery if therapy doesn’t help.
But she told me that because of the nature of not only my injuries, but how I got them, she suggested I join an inpatient therapy facility to focus on regaining muscle mass and control. ”
I blanch. “What?” That’s nothing at all like what she told me, so what the actual fuck?
He swallows, looking down at his hand as he squeezes again before turning his dark gaze to me again.
“Earlier, the doctor explained that on top of the nerve damage caused by the bullet, they want to monitor me for a few weeks for possible signs of post-sepsis syndrome. Apparently, a blood infection can cause neuromuscular issues as well as muscle weakness and nerve damage.”
A few weeks?! I couldn’t go a few minutes without having my eyes on Riley.
How the fuck am I supposed to last a few weeks?
My heart sinks because I don’t have much of a choice if I want him to get back to doing what he loves with his band, do I?
I swallow, trying not to pick at my freshly painted nails and try to find the positive.
I offer him a smile that I hope he believes. I’m being ridiculous, but given the circumstances, I think I’m allowed to be upset at the idea of being separated from the man I love, for whom I was terrified had not survived what we went through just days ago.
“If it’s also owned by the same brothers who own this place? I’m sure it’ll be nothing but the best of the best care for you, Ri.”
He doesn’t return my smile and worry twists in my gut. He swallows thickly. “The facility is three hours north of here, and I don’t even know where here is in reference to home.”
“Oh.” Oh fuck no is more like it. I force a smile anyway. “Creed and I will just have to come see you there if they insist that you go.”
He gives me a look that says from three hours away? But I shake my head. “You’re crazy if you think I won’t do it, Riley Benjamin.”
It’s right on the tip of my tongue just come right out and say those three words to him, but then that fucking horrible night in the trunk of that car and then again that last day before we were saved flash into the forefront of my mind.
Tell me a pretty lie.
The last time the words came out of his mouth, he was a breath away from death. I want to tell him how much I love him, how much I hated telling him that lie that he asked for.
I hate you.
I know, but I’ll love you enough for the both of us.
But…am I still deserving of Riley’s unconditional love after everything he suffered because of me?
Creed is Creed, so telling me he loves me after not adhering to his own advice to wait doesn’t surprise me.
I’ve loved him my whole life and I was only patiently waiting for him to catch up.
This thing with Riley, though, is so new and delicate.
Now, it’s been laced with trauma that I don’t know if the two of us can ever overcome together.
Fuck if I wont try, though.
I want to get back to a good place, a safe space between the two of us so that when I do tell him how much I love him, he’ll believe me wholeheartedly.
“You’d make a six-hour round trip just to see me?” He asks, his glassy, deep mocha eyes imploring.
I nod, my brows drawing together. He has to know what he means to me, doesn’t he?
“And more, Ri. You’re worth every minute of travel and I’d do it again and again with a smile on my face.
” I reach over and lace my fingers through his, squeezing gently before encapsulating his hand within both of mine.
“You’re everything, Riley Benjamin Graves.
No force on earth could keep me from getting to you. ”
I try to shove down the knot of anxiety that’s currently balling itself in my gut at the thought of being away from Riley so soon.
Panic sets in as my mind gets sucked into the void and my surroundings start to fade.
The look on his face as he watches me slip away confirms as much.
He says my name, but everything sounds as if it’s underwater, and suddenly, I’m right back in that bloody trunk.
Voices shout around me, but I can’t tell which direction they’re coming from. Two trembling hands cup my face as a familiar, clean scent washes over me. I take a deep breath, inhaling his scent that feels like home and my racing heart instantly calms.
“That’s it, Snow, come back to me,” the voice calls. Who is he talking to?
Me.
I’m his Snow.
“That’s right, baby. My Snow.” Soft lips meet my forehead. “See me.”
I suck in a breath at the familiarity of the phrase. Creed must have taught it to him.
“Feel me,” I rasp, feeling for his face and cradling his jaw.
“I am real,” we both whisper, and it’s like the black fog that had settled over my mind dissipates in an instant.
Riley’s handsome face materializes before me, and something settles within my soul. But that calming feeling quickly morphs when I see his features twisted in pain that he’s trying to hide.
Asher and a frowning Nurse Jo are standing behind him where he sits next to me on the edge of the bed.
On the edge of the bed.
Not in the chair.
It hits me then, why Jo looks livid. Riley had thrown himself out of the chair to get to my side. Guilt instantly twists my insides, and I realize in this exact moment that he has to go to this facility.
Away from me.
I’ve just proven that he would do anything to help me, even if that means sacrificing his healing and progress to get to me fast enough. Riley winces when he adjusts his seated position, and it just drives the stake of guilt even deeper into my chest.
“Riley, I’m so sorry.” I reach for him and he takes my hand, kissing the tips of my fingers.
“Never apologize, I’m glad I was here.”
“You should’ve called for help, Mr. Graves,” Jo, who had been nothing but kind to me since the beginning, says curtly before she cuts me a glare as if this is entirely my fault.
She quickly schools her features, but the hard edge to her tone remains.
“Miss Weston, I believe it’s best if you return to your own room.
At least long enough for me to look over his wounds and discuss his care plan.
Chrissy will come by shortly for vitals, and to go over the plan for discharge and therapy referrals. ”