Chapter 26
Creed
“FAILING YOU IS NOT AN OPTION THIS TIME.”
My jaw is on the floor with how Collins left me high and dry. The moment the door to her studio clicks shut and she’s out of sight, I know exactly why she did it. And fuck knows I deserve it. Guilt for how I snapped at Riley sits like a ton of lead in my gut.
I close my eyes to get my shit together before apologizing, but all I can see is the look of hurt on Riley’s face. The way his deep brown eyes gave away every ounce of pain that my one cutting word delivered.
Every part of me wants to take his hand, but like kissing Collins, I know I haven’t earned the right.
Things won’t always be perfect between the three of us, but I trust that Collins will do everything in her power to make sure that we treat each other with love and respect, and that we right our wrongs before forgiveness is earned.
I can be a hotheaded asshole when tensions run high.
It’s an automatic response I need to learn to control, especially when it comes to Collins and Riley.
I open my eyes to look at my boy. What I see is even worse than the images that have burned into my mind.
Because the person in front of me doesn’t just look heartbroken, he looks unsure.
Of me. He’s shuffling uncomfortably from foot to foot, hand gripping the back of his neck hard, refusing to meet my eyes.
You did that, you goddamned prick.
Fix. It.
“Walk with me.” Smooth, asshole, real nice. It was meant to be a question, but my desperation to make this right has the words tumbling out like a demand.
Riley simply nods and reluctantly falls into step beside me. He’s clenching and unclenching his fist, while the other continues to rub and agitate the skin on the back of his neck.
Stepping outside the guest house, we’re immediately assaulted with the hot summer sun, so I move us into the shade by the pool.
We sit on the ledge, the silence between us an uncomfortable one. There’s a discomfort there that’s wearing on both of us. I don’t like it. This isn’t us.
My eyes are fixated on the rippling water, and I open my mouth to apologize, but Riley’s voice is soft when he speaks first.
“I’ve said those exact words before.” He whispers sadly, and I shift my focus, taking in his side profile.
He swallows thickly, his eyes trained on the water.
The reflected light from the ripples dance across his freckled skin.
“Every goddamned day… I said those words no less than a hundred times.” A tear escapes the corner of his eye, and he sniffles.
“But he never listened. Every fucking day I begged that piece of shit to not touch her. He ignored me every time.”
He looks at me then, the deep brown of his irises glistening with a wall of unshed tears. “It was an automatic response when I saw her starting to slip away. I’m—”
I put my finger over his lips to stop him from apologizing—again.
The move startles him, and his tears spill over when he blinks.
My heart cracks from the heartache I caused.
The pain of knowing how long he and Collins had to watch one another suffer makes me hate the sight of those tears.
An insistant need to break the tension and ease his nerves about how I must be feeling about him right now takes over.
Shifting my grip to cup his jaw with one hand, I hold him steady as I lean in and lick the line of tears from his face. When I reach the corner of his eye, I start over, pressing delicate kisses down the same path, careful to avoid the bandage he uses to cover his ear and scarring.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into his skin, and he shudders in response. “I’m sorry.” Kiss, “I’m sorry.” Kiss.
I kiss his freckled face between my murmured apologies so many times that he starts to laugh and shoves me away. The sound is contagious, and in the very next moment, I join in.
His face tips towards the sun, the light breaking through the leaves of the trees overhead dancing across his skin.
Those damn fangs popping out as he tries—and fails—to compose himself.
Riley Graves is sunshine personified, and it has my heart thudding blissfully hard in my chest. I hate that I hurt him, and it’s not something I ever plan to repeat.
Once the two of us settle again, I place my hand on top of his where it rests on his thigh, just as he pulls his pant legs up to dip his feet into the water.
“I truly am sorry, Riley. I never should have snapped. Especially not at you. Never at you, baby.” I sigh, focusing on his face once more—which is still fucking perfect, even with the scarring. “I won’t try to make an excuse. It was an asshole response, and it never should have happened.”
Riley turns his hand over and links his fingers through mine before flipping our hands back over so that gravity and pressure holds his shut around mine without the use of muscle.
“You know that I would never intentionally come between you and trying to help her, Creed. Right?”
“I know,” I whisper, my thumb brushing softly over the smooth skin on the back of his hand. “You know, I actually did the same thing that you did the day that we found you.”
A humorless laugh escapes my lungs as Riley watches me warily.
“The way you looked in that chair…I’d never been more scared, Riley.
When I realized you were still alive, I was even more terrified that if I blinked, you’d somehow disappear.
Someone tried to help you, but I snapped and told him not to fucking touch you.
” I chuckle under my breath as I run a hand through my hair.
“Same as earlier, he was just trying to help, but I nearly bit his head off for daring to come near you.”
I feel like I’m failing this apology miserably, but the look on Riley’s face as he nods tells me that he understands. I don’t deserve his forgiveness, but fuck if I wont take it and prove my worthiness of it every single day from here on out.
Clearing my throat, I clarify, “What I’m trying to say is that I understand why you snapped. I don’t blame you for it, baby. I could never. Please know that.
“I’m going to fuck up sometimes, but I never want to hurt you, Riley.” I bump his shoulder with mine. “You were my boy before things changed, and I never want to lose that. Failing you is not an option this time.”
Riley’s throat bobs, swallowing thickly as his eyes volley between mine.
His lips part, but no words come out for a moment.
It’s as though he’s not entirely sure of what he wants to say.
When he does speak, it only serves to squeeze my heart painfully with his admission.
“I’m not going anywhere so long as you want me here, Creed. ”
And there it is. That self-doubt that I had worked so hard to eradicate when I first met him is back. I simply can’t have that, because I meant what I said earlier. He was my boy before things started to change, and I won’t let him forget that or his importance in this world and in my life.
“You silly, silly goose,” I tease, but then I pin him with a look that tells him just how much I mean my next words.
“There will never be a time when I don’t want you near me, Riley.
I need you. She needs you.” I smile at the phrase I’ve thought so many times since the three of us clicked into place. “We need us.”
Leaning in, I smirk at the way my proximity alone causes his cheeks to heat to the most adorable rosy shade. I want nothing more than to grab both sides of his face and to kiss the shit out of him, but I feel the facial ravaging will have to wait for another moment in time.
When he doesn’t pull away, I press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth and relish the sigh of relief that expels itself from his chest. He leans in to chase my touch just before I pull away, and it settles something deep within my bones.
It’s like a sucker punch to the gut, knowing that I could lose him to my stupidity. I need to get my shit together, not just for my sake, but for both of them. For our relationship.
The tenderness of the moment fades when the back door opens and Asher steps out onto the patio. His grim expression has my hackles rising, but then I hear Collins’ broken laughter filtering through the door from the kitchen. Blair’s scream follows, followed by more laughter.
He runs a hand through his dark blonde hair, tugging it at the roots.
“You okay, Ash?” I ask with overdramatic mock concern, standing from the edge of the pool before offering a hand to Riley. I can only guess why he’s out here looking desperate.
“You know how much I love you, right?” he asks, and I chuckle.
“Oh, now you’re just buttering me up. What do you need, Ash-hole?” That old nickname earns me a glare, but I know he’s desperate to ask me something, so of course, I’m going to fuck with him until he spits it out.
“Fuck off, Credence,” he snaps, flipping me his two meaty middle fingers. Touché, fucker. “I’m gonna die…literally die if I have to eat one more of Blair’s meals. I adore the little shit, but every bite I take shaves about three years off of my life.”
I put an arm around Riley’s shoulders and pull him in close, deliberately ignoring the look he’s giving me over Asher’s use of my full name. I sniff, playing dumb. “Still not seeing what you’re getting at.”
More playful shouts and laughter filters outside, and although Asher looks pissed, I can see the relief plain as day on his face at the sound of his sister’s laughter despite everything she went through.
“You need to cook,”
“That a question, or a demand?”
“Creed—”
“Ask nicely,”
“You fucker—”
“Try again.”
“Fuck y—”
“Asher,”
“Creed.”
“Yes?”