Chapter 35 #2
“Riley, you have to know she was wrong,” I hiccup, ducking down to try and meet his eyes, silently begging him to see my truth. The only truth there is when it comes to him. “My life—our lives—are so fucking beautiful, so perfect, because you are a part of it.”
Riley’s eyes squeeze shut, and he sucks in a deep, shuddering inhale.
“To know you is a privilege, Ri,” I tell him through the tears, and follow him when he starts to pace in front of his bed, his fingers laced behind his head.
My heart drops low into my gut when he swipes his bags from the end of the bed, throwing them over his shoulder as he ducks around me and walks toward the door.
He’s lost in his own mind right now. That’s all. Right? It has to be. They never let me doubt myself, and I’m not about to give up on him. I follow hot on his heels, swiping angrily at the tears that blur my vision.
“To know you is to love you,” I say to his back, but he keeps going, rushing toward the front door like he can’t get away from me fast enough.
My heart is beating so fast and so hard that I fear I may faint from the amount of adrenaline pumping through my system right now, but I have to get to him. Get into his mind and bring him back to me.
I watch as he reaches for the front door and flips each lock, but the moment he pulls the door open, I’m right there, slamming it shut and pinning him in place. He's still facing away from me, but I hold his hoodie in a death grip and press my forehead to his spine.
“To love you? To be loved by you? That is the greatest gift,” I whisper into the fabric and snake my arms around his torso, finally allowing myself to touch him.
“You’re everything and more, Riley,” I repeat his words that he whispered to me what feels like a lifetime ago.
“But you don’t need to wait a thousand lifetimes for me to love you back.
Because I love you now. I love you always, and I’ll love you in every lifetime that follows this one because you. Are. Mine.”
I’m not even sure he can fully understand my words, given how choked I am right now, but God, I hope he can feel that I meant every word.
Riley was meant to be loved wholly and deeply, and that’s what I’ve done. What I’ll continue to do from now until forever.
I squeeze him, burrowing myself impossibly closer and deeper into him as I beg, “Stay, baby. Please.”
His whole body is shaking while he cries silently, his forehead plastered to the cool glass of the front door. His hands find mine, and he holds me there, firm yet gentle, as he’s always done.
“Please, Snow,” he sobs, somewhere in the midst of our tears, he whispers, almost imperceptibly, “just let me go—”
Snow…there he is. I found you, baby.
“No.” I maneuver my way around him, never letting go but wedging myself between his body and the door so that I can see his beautiful face in the moonlight.
His dark, soulful eyes are nearly obsidian as they glisten with tears, and I reach up, cupping his face between my palms. Swiping the tears with my thumbs, I give him a watery smile.
“Or,” I start, pushing up on my toes and pulling him down to press my forehead to his, meeting him in the middle, “take me with you.”
My fingers tangle in the hair at the crown of his head and pull, tugging at the curly strands.
In a rush, I press my lips to his, kissing him hard and fast. I can feel his tears soaking my face as he slowly melts into me, but I couldn’t care less.
He’s still crying, but he’s kissing me back like it’s the last time he’ll ever have the opportunity.
“Take me with you,” I whisper breathlessly against Riley’s lips repeating the words over and over, in between kisses as I lose myself in him again.
“Fuck, Snow,” Riley groans, the sound tortured, low, and thick.
In an instant, he drops his bags from his shoulders before scooping me up from the back of my thighs, and my legs wrap around his middle on instinct.
My arms encircle his neck, and I bury my face there, breathing in his comforting, clean scent.
He fumbles with the doorknob before finally pulling it open. I’m in nothing but a t-shirt, so the cool, dry air that gusts through the doorway sends a shiver throughout my body. Riley instinctively holds me tighter, sharing his body heat.
I look up as Riley carries me across the threshold to see Creed standing at the end of the foyer, concern igniting in his ice-blue eyes. It’s not a worry for me in the sense that he believes that Riley is taking me away. No, he’s worried about our boy like I am.
I give him a small, reassuring yet watery smile and nod, running my fingers through Riley’s hair with one hand while raising my index finger to point at him before signing OK, then I love you with the other.
He nods, then disappears around the corner before Riley can see him when he turns around to pull the door closed. I don’t know where he is going or where he’s taking us, but I let him carry me away, my heart singing a contented melody, knowing that I’ve got him.
I hold Riley tighter and whisper into his warm skin.
I make a promise to myself.
To Riley.
“I will do whatever it takes to make you see your own self-worth. To know what you mean to me. I’m never giving up on you and never giving you up, Riley Benjamin Graves.”